It’s something everyone jokes about: how long can you last in bed?
Jokes about premature ejaculation or the “three-pump wonder” are everywhere. Men who can’t last for very long are shamed and ridiculed. You’ve probably internalized a lot of those feelings if this is something you deal with. And if you’re early in your reboot, you’re far from being the only one who’s struggling with it.
I want to clear up some of the misinformation and misconceptions surrounding premature ejaculation. Most of the time when brothers struggle with porn-induced erectile dysfunction, they’re given the same advice from professionals. These professionals aren’t able to really diagnose the issue, though, and they can’t “treat” you for it.
Most doctors still have a difficult time understanding the methodology and systems behind pornography addiction. They don’t have much experience with the reality of the issue. Oftentimes it’s seen as a simple problem with a simple solution. They’ll tell you to just stop watching pornography and quit masturbating.
This is frustrating because you’ve probably already tried this multiple times. And it’s not where your PIED stems from, anyway. The issue is you’re not in the right mental place to get or maintain an erection and have sex. That’s the real problem you’re dealing with.
So I’m going to clear up some misconceptions and misunderstandings while I outline 10 facts about lasting longer in bed.
1. Men who struggle with out of control behavior with porn, sex, or masturbation need to address their insecurity
This isn’t the best fact to accept about yourself but it’s true. It was true for me, too. Men who struggle with out of control behavior are insecure. If you want to fix your problem with PIED, you need to accept that it stems from a place of insecurity before you can make any progress.
2. You need to get realistic about sexual performance to fix the problem
Men who struggle with PIED often hold themselves to unrealistic expectations about performance. According to the Journal of Science Medicine, a woman’s orgasm is dependent upon how long penetration lasts. At the same time, that same issue also reveals that foreplay lasts an average of 18 minutes and sex lasts an average of 16. So it’s safe to say that expecting yourself to last an hour is unrealistic. 15 minutes or so is much more realistic.
3. Foreplay begins before you (or her) get naked
Foreplay is part of the sexual experience. If you want to make sure a woman has a better chance of having an orgasm, though, you need to realize foreplay begins before you get naked. Start with foreplay before she’s even undressed if you want to increase her pleasure. Incorporating foreplay also gives you a chance to get yourself going, too.
4. Switching up positions can help you last longer
You don’t need to pump away in the same position for the entire time. Realistically, you’ll probably keep yourself from lasting longer by doing this. Switch up positions a few times within that 15 minutes to help you last longer. If you’re going at it and about to climax, switch positions before you keep going to bring yourself back down again.
5. You need to get your testosterone levels checked
Getting your testosterone levels checked is crucial if you’re having a difficult time with your performance in bed. Many times men who struggle with PIED also have low testosterone levels. If your levels are low, you’re going to have an even harder time performing for even a few minutes at a time.
6. Kegels aren’t only for women, you need them too
If you’re struggling with lasting in bed, you should start practicing Kegels. Kegels are often thought of as a “woman’s thing” to do but they apply to men, too. The exercise balances your pelvic floor which has become unbalanced after months or years of your out of control, compulsive porn and masturbation problem. Practice Kegels every day for a few weeks and you’re going to notice results.
7. Use a thicker condom
I can hear you now, “Wait, what? Why should I use a thicker condom? It’s going to make everything feel less sensitive!” Trust me. The increased sensitivity of thinner condoms is most likely too much for you to handle at the beginning. Using a thicker condom decreases some of that sensitivity which is going to help you last longer.
8. She doesn’t have to orgasm every time
Some people would have you believe that a woman needs to come every single time you have sex. While certain people hold to this belief, it’s not the reality. Most women aren’t going to come every time they have sex. It doesn’t mean the sex was bad if she isn’t able to climax, either. The more you focus on it, the more it’ll stress you out and the worse you’ll perform.
9. Focusing only on a woman’s orgasm is going to ruin the relationship
If you’re overly focused on whether she is going to orgasm or not, you’re going to ruin the relationship. When your partner isn’t able to climax and you start taking it personally, it’s going to start affecting your behavior. You’ll start feeling insecure, it’s going to change the way you behave around her, and that’s what’s going to ruin the relationship, not your performance.
10. Most women don’t think it’s as big of a deal as people make it
Society makes a big joke out of premature ejaculation. Truth is, lots of men struggle with it. It’s something that experienced women understand. They know that sex isn’t going to be great all the time and that men aren’t going to be able to perform every time. Most women don’t think it’s as big of a deal as people make it and you shouldn’t either. Making it a bigger deal than it needs to be is only going to stress you out and make it more difficult to last longer.