Today’s post comes from a topic that one of our brothers brought up for discussion in the free Porn Reboot group. I thought it was a good thing to write about because it’s an important question. He wrote:
First of all, I know a lot of you guys aren’t going to like this post.
If two people gave you a Big Mac from McDonald’s and you knew the cashier who gave you the first one, but you didn’t know the other cashier, does that mean that the Big Mac from the person you know is healthier to eat?
Of course not because both burgers have the same content. It’s the same thing with guys who talk about having nudes or sex videos with their girlfriends or their wives. It doesn’t matter whether you know the person or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re jerking off to your own video or a random one on PornHub.
Both fall under the category of pornography.
I want to point out that this brother actually ended his out of control behavior using only the free materials I have available. He watches the videos on my YouTube channel, listens to my podcast, and is subscribed to my email list. You can find everything you need for a successful reboot available on my various channels.
It’s important because he raises a great point. Many men wonder whether images of their wife or girlfriend count as pornography. The pictures are of a woman he knows and is intimate with. He might even be in a few of those pictures.
At the end of the day, though, they still count as pornography. It doesn’t matter how relevant the person in the picture is in your life. Whether you’re married to the girl or you have no clue who she is, you’re messing with your biochemistry. Stop trying to find reasons to keep explicit material as a part of your life.
Plenty of men cut pornography from their lives but keep images and videos of their wives or significant others. They believe it doesn’t count because it’s not like the material is of some unknown woman online. This thinking is dangerous, though, especially early on in your reboot. The rationalization and justification of the explicit material will likely lead to a slip.
The Porn Reboot system requires an entire rewiring of your brain. In the early stages of your reboot, you need to remove all sexual visual material from your life to change your behavior. You need to give your brain time to reconfigure itself. Early on, your brain can’t tell the difference between a picture of your partner or a stranger. All it sees is a sexually explicit image.
Some men try to rationalize having images or videos of their partner because they already see them naked in person. This isn’t the same thing, though. Images and videos are artificial forms of stimulation, especially for men who struggle with pornography addiction. You need to rewire your brain and learn how to develop intimacy without needing artificial stimulation.
Plenty of men have erectile dysfunction when they first start their reboot. They can’t get hard without watching pornography. If this is the case for you, images of your wife definitely count as porn. You have to give your brain a break so it can start repairing your urges and your overall sexuality.
Surrounding yourself with support is crucial during the early stages of recovery, too. Like our brother above, you can join in the discussion and find a group of men who understand. We share our struggles and lift one another as we strive to become better men for ourselves, our partners, our families, and our communities.
If sacrificing explicit images of your wife means having a more fulfilling relationship with her in the long run, why wouldn’t you want to save that visualization for the real world?