Are you going to end your behavior?
You might think this is an odd question to ask considering the point of the Porn Reboot system is to end your behavior. It’s a serious question, though. When men put applications in for our programs, we ask them this exact question during the interview and I usually get one of two answers.
The first group of men admits that they don’t really believe that they can stop. They doubt themselves and don’t know how to accomplish what feels like an insurmountable obstacle. These men have low self-esteem and struggle to follow through on their goals.
The second group looks at me in disbelief, shocked that I’d even ask. They’re confident they can end their behavior but they just haven’t figured out how. Given the right tools they know they can leave their behaviors behind.
I have less faith in the first group of men. Sure, they’re honest about their feelings on whether they can stop their compulsive behavior. But at the same time, their inability to believe in themselves holds them back. Men who don’t believe in themselves are more likely to give up when things get difficult.
On the other hand, the second group is filled with men who have a better chance of learning to control their behaviors with porn, sex, and masturbation. They may appear overconfident but their belief in themselves is what keeps them pushing forward. Many of these guys have tried and failed with a few programs before arriving at Porn Reboot and they’re still confident they’re going to overcome their behavior.
When I ask them how they maintain this self-confidence, most give a simple, straightforward answer.
“Because I choose to believe I will be happy and end this behavior, I’m not going to live with it for the rest of my life.”
Some men are naturally inclined to this positive line of thinking. It’s ingrained in them to keep pushing, keep working, keep striving. They know there’s an answer to their problem out there, whatever that problem might be at the moment, and they just have to find it.
Other men are naturally inclined to not believe in themselves. They throw in the towel when things get tough and have a hard time keeping their chin up. They don’t truly believe they can accomplish the things they set out to do.
At the same time, though, these men still took the initiative to apply for the Porn Reboot program. They have some spark of belief that they can overcome their behavior otherwise they wouldn’t have requested an initial consultation. If they choose to, these men can make the shift from not believing in themselves over to recognizing what they’re capable of.
I truly believe that anyone can control their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, or what your story is. I know that with enough belief in yourself and a firm willingness to do the work needed to change, you can end your behavior.
It doesn’t matter how much I believe in you, though; if you don’t believe in yourself you’re not going to overcome your struggles. You can do anything you set your mind to in this world, from quitting porn to launching your own business to starting a family. If you make the decision to believe harder and back that belief up with action, you can accomplish whatever you can imagine.
When you develop enough belief in yourself, that drive will keep you moving forward. It will propel you through whatever obstacles arise as you move towards your goals. This self-belief helps you first in your reboot and then carries over into any endeavor in your life. All it takes is a spark of belief in yourself and I know you have it because you’re here reading this post.
So, let me ask you again. Are you going to end your behavior?