When we’re young, most of us have dreams for how we want our lives to play out.
There is a certain career we want to pursue, a place we want to live, and the type of partner we want to marry. As we fall deeper into pornography addiction, though, those dreams get further away as the years pass by.
But this all changes again when you begin rebooting. Regaining control of your porn addiction and out-of-control sexual behavior gives you a second chance at your goals. You have the opportunity to achieve the things you wanted when you were in high school or college, imagining the way your future would play out.
Not everyone in the Porn Reboot program is ready for this shift, though. The true rebooters have what it takes but the trial rebooters don’t. I’ve talked about the differences between true rebooters and trial rebooters before but I want to go over them again.
True rebooters are the men who are fully committed to the Porn Reboot system. They acknowledge the negative impact pornography and sexual behavior had on their lives. These men don’t harbor any lurking notion that they can return to these behaviors again. They fully understand the effects porn has on them and are willing to do whatever it takes to overcome it.
On the other hand, trial rebooters are half in, half out. They aren’t fully convinced that they can never use pornography again without falling back to where they were. These men hold onto the idea that they can maybe use porn again in the future. They aren’t willing to develop the skills, tools, and mindset needed to overcome their compulsive behavior.
The trial rebooter’s lack of commitment also carries over into other areas of his life. He has plenty of plans and dreams but no way of following through on them. I hear it all the time:
“I want to be in a great relationship with a loving woman.”
“I want to be focused.”
“I want to be doing better in my career.”
“I want to be more social.”
“I want to be a great family man.”
He has all sorts of hopes but they have no plan to carry them out. He’s great at wanting to pursue these things and talking the talk, but he doesn’t understand how to bring those ideas into reality.
It’s like the Cheshire Cat tells Alice in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland: “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
True rebooters know what to do. They recognize that no dream can become a reality without a plan of action. These men take the dreams they had as young men and create a step-by-step method for getting there. It might not happen quickly and it might not happen all at once, but true rebooters have the perseverance and dedication to get there.
Are you a trial rebooter or a true rebooter? Are you going to let yourself become a victim of circumstance or will you take responsibility for your life and chase those dreams you thought were impossible?
I want you to get a pen and paper right now. I’ve been pushing the importance of writing lately because I truly believe that writing things down makes a difference. It puts action behind things that have only been fantasies up to this point.
Once you have your pen and paper, I want you to write out a well thought out answer to this question:
Will my life be a warning to others, or will my life serve as an inspiring example of what is possible for a human being to accomplish?
Sit with it for a moment and answer honestly. What direction is your life going? Where are you headed? Have you taken responsibility for your behavior or are you still blaming others? Do you have a plan of action you’re following or are you still just reading blog posts, listening to podcasts, and watching YouTube videos?
Just because you’re a trial rebooter now doesn’t mean you can’t become a true rebooter with some determination and hard work. If you want to change your recovery dreams into something you can achieve, it’s time to develop an action plan to make that happen.
Ready to do something different? Start by joining us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group and letting us know where you’re at. What are you struggling with? What’s getting in your way? And what are you doing today, right now, to make the necessary changes? It’s time to get to work.