We live in a culture where people identify with their dysfunctions.
When someone receives a diagnosis, they internalize whatever that particular diagnosis may be. I’m sure you’ve heard it from plenty of people before.
Some people even go as far as to integrate their diagnoses into their personalities. They center their thoughts around this one aspect of their life and use it to frame their entire worldview.
I read a study the other day that said individuals who believe in the concept of repressed childhood trauma are more likely to uncover it during therapy. On the other hand, those who don’t believe in it are less likely to discover any repressed childhood trauma.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying people never repress their traumatic experiences during childhood. I am saying, though, that the beliefs you carry leave you more susceptible to certain things. If you go into a therapy session convinced that you’ll find some memories you’ve tucked away in your mind, why wouldn’t you?
There’s no denying the rise in people who identify with their diagnoses. The problem is they don’t realize how much embodying these medical labels limits their potential. You cut yourself off from so much possibility by staying in the box a therapist or psychiatrist ascribes to you.
If you’re considering seeking out a psychologist for a diagnosis for your out-of-control behavior, you might want to reconsider. There are plenty of alternative approaches to controlling your behavior that don’t require you to slap a label on yourself. If the goal is to end your out-of-control behavior, shouldn’t you do it through the most effective avenue possible?
Therapy and Porn Addiction
Most therapists center their approach around exposing the root causes of your everyday behavior. They dive into your history and look for experiences that explain your current struggles. This is a great approach for individuals who struggle with serious mental illness that affects their quality of life.
Although your porn addiction probably affects your daily life if you’re here reading this, it’s not the result of a moral or mental issue. It’s not something that you’re going to solve with a weekly talk therapy session. You might know this from personal experience after trying it yourself, too.
Therapists are fantastic at helping people manage and learn to live with their mental illness. But unless you also deal with some type of co-occurring mental health issue, a therapist isn’t going to be your best option for overcoming your out-of-control behavior with sex, porn, and masturbation.
Depending on the modality they use, they’ll likely encourage you to dig deep into areas that might not be troublesome. You could find yourself spinning in circles trying to uncover the source of your behavior when there may not be a source to look at other than a lack of emotional development and maturity.
I’ve found over the years that men in our group usually aren’t dealing with any serious mental health issues. You might experience some depression or anxiety as a result of hiding your out-of-control behavior, but that’s not the same thing as a clinical depressive disorder. Once you start addressing your porn addiction, you’ll notice these feelings dissipate on their own.
Successful Men vs. Narcissistic Men
A lot of successful men display strong, assertive characteristics like self-assurance and confidence. Depending on how you handle them and who you ask, though, these might be labeled as narcissistic traits. If you fall in this category and seek therapy, you might be encouraged to label these traits as character defects. In reality, though, they’re often character assets.
Successful, high-performing men don’t take no for an answer. They didn’t rise to the top by rolling over and acting like a doormat. These men tend to have lofty, aspirational dreams. Reaching these dreams and goals requires ambition, hard work, and determination.
You don’t want to slap a diagnosis on yourself and start overanalyzing your positive characteristics. As long as you’re not using them to dominate the people around you or hold a grandiose view of yourself because of them, these are good things to have. They can be incredibly helpful traits when you use them to better yourself and the world around you.
The Porn Reboot Difference
The men in the Porn Reboot group are people who won’t find their answer sitting on a therapist’s couch. We don’t view the problem as a mental or moral failing; we view it as a biological problem. Trying to overcome your behavior through therapy or moral convictions is counter-productive when you’re working with a biological issue.
The Porn Reboot program uses a system that leads to lasting change. It’s the only thing that worked for me and the hundreds of other ambitious, high-performing men in our group. It teaches you to take control of the narrative in your life instead of allowing outside people to dictate it for you.
You might struggle with a porn addiction or compulsive sexual behavior but that doesn’t reflect on you as a person. It doesn’t mean that you’re bad, that you’re immoral, or that you’re hopeless. It simply means that you didn’t develop the ability to cope properly in certain situations without turning to porn or certain behaviors for relief.
Hopefully, this provides some reassurance that you can change your situation without a diagnosis. You don’t need a label from some therapist to find a solution to your problem. You can start developing and working on a set of skills and coping strategies to rewire your brain instead.
Eventually, you won’t need pornography, sex, or masturbation to cope with difficulties in life. You won’t turn to these out-of-control behaviors whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed. But I want to reassure you that you don’t need a diagnosis to overcome these behaviors. In fact, you’re probably better off without it.
If you’re ready to make a change, you can start taking the steps to overcome your addiction and compulsive behaviors today. Read through some more blog posts here on the site, check out our YouTube channel, or tune into the Porn Reboot podcast on your platform of choice. Join our free Facebook group for support from brothers just like you who know what you’re going through.
There are plenty of resources available that don’t require a psychiatric diagnosis. Feel free to look through our site and join us when you’re ready!