You’ll often hear that a long-term, monogamous relationship can’t compete with the novelty and dopamine-inducing effects of having sex with a new person.
This is a widespread opinion.
And as a result, many people decide not to even try to be monogamous – they think they’ll never make it. This applies to pornography addicts as well.
Now, I’m not going to lie and say that there isn’t a small element of truth to this opinion. But it doesn’t take into account one factor:
There are many men who had a lot of casual sex. But that was before they got married and stayed committed for the rest of their lives.
These individuals have an advantage over others because they’ve had their fill of sexual experiences on purpose.
But what about men who recover from sex addiction and get married?
Well, that doesn’t mean they’re actually ready for marriage. Most of the time, that goal’s been set for them and conditioned by society.
These men then feel like monogamy is the only way to go. So, they end up in relationships and just play along because they feel like that’s what they’re supposed to do.
But in doing so, they most likely won’t become a happy, fulfilled person. It’s because whatever issues they had with women and sex won’t just go away because they’ve become monogamous.
Now, you might wonder why don’t more coaches and therapists talk about this.
Well, apart from myself, I have yet to meet a non-religious counselor, coach, or mentor who wasn’t a sex addict and had an active and healthy sexual life involving multiple women.
While some therapists have recovered from their addictions, none of them put themselves through a structured method regarding women.
But that’s what I did.
I had a structured plan of meeting women, developing authentic relationships, and having healthy sex with them.
The point of this method is that when you repeat the process dozens of times, it becomes a part of your nature.
And then you can leave it behind and move on to a monogamous relationship.