When I was working in door-to-door sales, we had a manager in the company named Spartan. That guy could motivate a whole lot of people. He had this great saying that stuck with me over the years that I want to share that with you right now.
“Take the ‘E’ out of emotion and you get motion. Just take action.”
He repeated it all the time and I’ve always thought it was great. It stresses the importance of motion over emotions. There’s a time and place for dealing with your emotions but action will always take precedence. You should always remember to move forward, make progress, build momentum, and then make even more progress.
Now when I say this I don’t mean turning your emotions off and never working through them. I’m not even talking about emotions in the conventional sense of the word. I’m referring to the highly emotional states that men are in when they first approach the Porn Reboot group.
Many arrive at the group exhausted and desperate, willing to do “whatever it takes” to quit. After a few days away from pornography, though, they feel they made a big deal out of nothing and then slip. They keep acting out for as long as they can until they eventually make their way back in the same highly emotional state.
This cycle continues over and over until a man is finally able to snap out of his emotions and get into motion. He needs to commit to his reboot in a clear state of mind if he wants to make any serious changes in his life.
Maybe you’re at this point, too. Perhaps you’ve tried controlling your out-of-control behavior on your own. You’ve reached the 30 or 40 day mark once or twice but tend to slip after enough time passes. You always find yourself in the same distraught position not long afterward, ready to swear off pornography all over again.
The same is the case for men who internalize false beliefs about their relapses. When you choose to focus on the shame, disappointment, and frustration of a slip, you’re choosing emotion over motion. You can’t act rationally when you’re trapped in a self-made emotional prison. Until you choose to “drop the ‘E’,” you’re going to stay stuck.
When you’ve struggled with pornography addiction for a long time, you’ve made giving into your emotions a habit. Men use pornography and masturbation to cope with overwhelming emotions from a young age. Those who get addicted never learned proper coping skills and instead relied on porn to carry them through.
You’re used to cracking under pressure and giving in to those intense emotions. You’ve let them run the show for so many years that you’re not sure how to get into motion anymore.
That’s okay. That’s what the Porn Reboot group is here for.
You’re going to feel overwhelmed and emotional when you first arrive. Everything will feel irritating and frustrating when you first stop watching pornography. It might feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. But you’ll also have a set of actions to take every day that are part of the Porn Reboot system.
Over time, the system becomes your primary way of thinking. You no longer give in to your every emotional whim; your routine takes over and action becomes automatic. Your emotions no longer control you. This is the time that your reboot really takes hold. You have so much progress you can make if you choose to stay in motion over emotion.
Sure, there will be days when you need to let off the gas a bit. You might need to give yourself a small break. You can’t be on all the time, 24/7, after all. But that’s not an excuse to slip back into your out-of-control behavior. You can’t let yourself get caught on a down day and end up progressing through the stages of a relapse.
The moment you notice your thoughts starting to slip, get right back into motion. You can practice the skills you learned to make it through the moments of temptation. Get some exercise, read a book, or reach out to a brother in the Porn Reboot group. There are plenty of alternatives to giving in to your emotions and succumbing to relapse.
If you haven’t joined the Porn Reboot group, there’s never been a better time. We offer a supportive, understanding, and active environment for brothers looking to overcome their pornography addiction. You never need to work through your emotions alone or learn to get into motion on your own. The group is here to support you as soon as you reach out. Join us today.