Welcome back to the series on tips for high performers starting out on their Porn Reboot journey. If this is your first time joining us, you can find the other sections of the series below:
- Mindset Beats Strategy
- You Are Your Biggest Investment
- 3 Mistakes High Performers Make
- Routine, Systems, and Accountability
So far in our Tips for High Performers series, we’ve outlined a clear path for our high performing members to follow. Men who are high performers tend to struggle when they start their reboot because they’re accustomed to performing well. They’re used to rising to meet the challenges in their life and exceeding expectations.
Then they find themselves stumped when they realize applying that same drive isn’t enough to overcome their out of control sexual behaviors. It’s frustrating to come to terms with and many times they put off working through their compulsions. Things they’re successful with are the priority; dealing with their reboot has to come later.
Hopefully, I’ve made it clear that until you learn to control the problem, you’re not performing to the best of your abilities. Your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior draw attention and energy away from other areas of your life whether you realize it or not.
Success in your reboot starts with resetting your mindset and accepting that you are your biggest investment. Then you need to understand the things that hold high performers back from making progress. Now I’m going to share some strategies you can apply as you start on this next attempt at your reboot.
Start By Asking Yourself Some Questions
High performing men do everything they can to work through a problem themselves before seeking outside help. Most men who join the Porn Reboot group have tried other methods before and I bet that’s the case for you, too. You’ve attempted NoFap, you’ve practiced semen retention, you’ve maybe even seen a therapist or joined a 12-step program.
This might not be the only place you get your porn addiction recovery information from. Perhaps you read other blogs, listen to another podcast, or watch videos from different coaches. Still, you’re having trouble finding a solution to your problem. Before you can implement the strategies I’m about to offer, though, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
1. Is your strategy enjoyable enough that you can continue doing it for years?
If you’re a high-performing man, I’m assuming you have at least some type of strategy in place or you’ve tried one before. I know that was the case for me prior to developing the Porn Reboot system I use in my life today. There were plenty of methodologies I tried before that not only weren’t effective but also weren’t enjoyable.
You’re going to give up on a strategy that isn’t enjoyable. Implementing an effective strategy won’t be an easy thing to do but it should still be at least somewhat enjoyable. Your long-term success depends on finding a strategy you can implement for the years to come.
2. Is your strategy effective even when your schedule is packed or unpredictable?
One of the things high-performance men struggle with is overanalyzing. You’re oftentimes too smart for your own good. This tends to translate into spending time looking for the perfect, most scientific, most proven strategy. It doesn’t matter how researched or proven that strategy is if it’s not going to accommodate your high-demand schedule, though.
This is crucial to understand. Just because a strategy is scientifically proven doesn’t mean that it’s going to work for you. Strategies that are effective only under a certain set of circumstances aren’t going to be effective for high-performance men. Your schedule is packed and your days are busy so your strategy needs to produce results no matter what’s going on.
3. Can you execute your strategy anywhere at any time and still get the same successful results?
This is the most important question for high-performance men. It’s great if you found a strategy that works while you’re at home. Let’s say you’re on a business trip spending the night in a hotel room, will your strategy work then? In order for it to be effective, it needs to work no matter where you are.
Now that you have a clear picture of the current strategy you’re working with, you can see which areas need some work. The following strategies I’m going to outline will give you some things to apply as you make adjustments to your approach.
Standards Beat Schedule
I’ve said before that your schedule is your lifeline. It’s a crucial component of the reboot process. Schedules instill a sense of discipline and routine that are necessary if you want to be successful in your reboot.
The thing is, high-performance individuals already know this. You wouldn’t be successful if you didn’t implement a schedule into your life. There is no way you could fulfill all your responsibilities without creating and adhering to your schedule.
Problems arise for high performers when their reboot schedule interferes with their existing schedule. For example, I’ve talked before about the importance of a morning routine, or what I like to call “recovery time.” It’s the time I set aside every morning for self-reflection. It’s a vital part of my reboot and something that every man in the Porn Reboot group prioritizes.
High performing men oftentimes find their existing busy schedule gets in the way of their recovery time. Maybe you can commit to Monday and Thursday mornings but on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you have important business calls. Or you might convince yourself it’s okay to skip your recovery time the morning after a late night in the office.
You’re going to fail every time if you hold onto this mindset. Your reboot standards must come before your existing schedule. You have to prioritize your reboot if you want to be successful in the long run, the same way you prioritize the things you perform well right now.
Setting Up Standards in My Life
Tony Robbins says it best:
“The level of results we get in our lives is a byproduct of the standards we hold ourselves to.”
I struggled with my ever-changing schedule for years when I was early in my reboot. I constantly put work before my reboot which led to slips and relapses time and time again. When I finally admitted to myself the standard I needed to operate at, I found I could be more creative with my schedule to make it happen.
I made my morning recovery time the priority then arranged my schedule to fit around it. I committed to a full 90-minute routine four times a week. It didn’t matter what happened. Come hell or high water I stuck with my standards and I do that to this day. The results didn’t stick until I got clear on my standards and made the necessary adjustments.
To keep myself focused on my reboot, I have a shorter morning routine on the three remaining days of the week. I keep this routine between 20 and 30 minutes. Some days I have more to fit into my schedule so I’ll use my shorter routine but I’ll move my full morning routine to another day.
Let’s say I do a full routine on Monday but I’m not able to do it again until Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Tuesday through Thursday I’ll use my shorter version then make sure that I commit to the full 90 minutes Friday through Sunday.
Commit to Your Reboot Standards
It was only when I started to consistently commit to my morning recovery routine that I started to see results. You can have the perfect reboot system but if your schedule gets in the way every week, you’re never going to get the results you want.
For today’s action step, I want you to write out the standard that you’ll commit to every week for your morning recovery time. I understand that you’re busy and you have a lot to manage, but you need to commit to a standard if you want to be successful in your reboot. Decide how many mornings you’ll commit to a full routine and fill the remaining days with a shorter routine.
If you haven’t already, join us in the Porn Reboot Facebook group and let us know more about the standards you’ve set. Find support from brothers who understand your struggle and offer support to those newer than you. We’re in this together.