I’ve spoken and written extensively about the importance of recognizing your limiting beliefs.
These are the things you tell yourself and that you fully believe, things like, “I am hopeless,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy of love,” or “I’m never going to be able to fully recover from my porn addiction.”
A belief is a small idea that either enables you to do something or holds you back from doing something. They are the inner model you use to interact with the world around you. Your beliefs are the framework within which you operate.
Your beliefs determine where you go, the direction you move, and the pace at which you progress. They affect who you are, who you become, and how you bridge the gap between these spaces. If you want to progress in the world you need to continuously recognize, assess, and adjust these beliefs you carry.
What Limiting Beliefs Look Like
Three of the most common limiting beliefs I see in the men I work with are hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. These three beliefs are key reasons why men hold themselves back when they are trying to reboot.
Hopelessness is the belief that you cannot achieve whatever goal it is you have in mind. You don’t believe in yourself enough to trust that what you want to do is possible for you. On the other hand, when you believe in your skills and resources and trust that you’re capable of achieving your goals, you feel hopeful.
Helplessness is the idea that while you know something may be possible for someone else, you don’t believe it’s possible for you. You don’t trust that you have the skills or knowledge to accomplish what it is you want to do. But when you trust yourself and your abilities, you feel empowered.
Worthlessness is based on the idea that you aren’t good enough for or don’t deserve the things you want in life. If you believe you are worthless then you will not take the action necessary to make drastic changes. However, when you recognize your inherent worth as a person, you’ll find yourself willing to do what it takes to change your life.
How Beliefs Work
Think of your belief system as a massive filter for your attention. The beliefs you hold are the filter for everything that happens in your life. Your brain needs an easy way to interpret all the things going on around you and your belief system makes it easier to process.
Your mind always interprets any incoming information or feedback in a way that supports your existing beliefs. If you have limiting beliefs, your mind will pick up on things that further instill this negative view of yourself. But if you have empowering beliefs, your mind will find evidence that supports this more positive, useful frame of mind.
When you operate with limiting beliefs you’re going to overlook any evidence that suggests you’re a good person with positive traits. It’s easier to toss out feedback or information that doesn’t support your view of yourself as hopeless, helpless, worthless, or whatever other limiting beliefs you may have.
When you’re filled with empowering beliefs about yourself, you’re equipped with a much more effective filter. You not only accept the evidence that you’re a good person worthy of good things, but you’re also willing to recognize where you fall short and work on bettering yourself in those areas.
Limiting Beliefs in My Life
I have plenty of experience with limiting beliefs, especially before I learned to control my behavior with porn addiction problems and masturbation. For example, I would see someone doing well financially and it ran through my negative belief filtering system. I’d tell myself I couldn’t get where they were because I wasn’t as smart and couldn’t focus as well as they could.
This limiting belief held me back for years because I thought I didn’t have what it took to accomplish what these men had accomplished. I didn’t recognize my strengths because these negative beliefs kept me trapped. They left me incapable of taking the necessary steps to help myself and move forward.
It wasn’t until I began working with mentors who pointed out this negative filtration system I operated with. I remember one specific turning point when one of my mentors called me out and said:
“Hey, the reason you can’t accomplish what you want to do isn’t that you’re incapable, J.K., it’s because you have this inaccurate, harmful filter that everything passes through. When it comes to money, when it comes to willpower, when it comes to discipline, all these things pass through that filter that tells you you can’t do it. We need to get rid of it.”
It felt like someone finally handed me the keys to freedom that I spent years searching for. While I didn’t overcome all of my limiting beliefs at once, it set me on the right path that helped me work through them over time.
Why Beliefs Matter in Your Reboot
So why are beliefs important to men like you specifically? What makes it urgent and important to pay attention to your beliefs as you start the porn addiction recovery process?
Oftentimes men in the Porn Reboot system come in with limiting beliefs they’ve carried around for years. They never take time to question them, though. Instead, they push forward and drive themselves further into the ruts their negative belief system lands them in.
You’re going to have a hard time moving forward and making progress in your reboot if you never take time to recognize your limiting beliefs. You have heard the idea that beliefs can move mountains, right? The power of beliefs runs deep and you’ll be amazed at the things you can accomplish when you overcome your limiting beliefs.
When you come in with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness, ending your out-of-control behavior will feel impossible. After trying and failing to control your behavior for years, these beliefs will be deeply ingrained in your mind. Until you challenge this negative filtration system, you’ll remain stuck in your prison of limiting beliefs.
Thankfully, the Porn Reboot program offers a solution to your limiting beliefs. We help you understand the precise thoughts holding you back and take action to overcome them. The Porn Reboot Facebook group is filled with men who were once held back by their limiting beliefs. These men now live beautiful, fulfilling, enriching lives free from the control of their porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior.
Still not sure whether you’re capable of overcoming your problem with porn and masturbation? Reach out in the group today – I guarantee you’ll find yourself surrounded by understanding, support, and guidance to get you out of your way.