Motivation is an important topic to talk about when you’re working on your reboot. I often hear from guys in the program who reach out and say, “Hey J.K., I’ve been doing pretty well but I just feel like I don’t have any motivation to keep going.” These aren’t guys who are rationalizing or justifying, they don’t want to slip, they’ve just lost their drive.
Motivation during your reboot is going to come and go. You’re not going to feel motivated to wake up for your recovery time, go to the gym, and have a strong day at work every single day. It’s going to feel harder to find the inclination to put in the work that needs to happen.
Men who express this feeling know their reboot is important. They know they need to control their behavior. They know their marriage, their business, their career is potentially at risk, but they just lose the desire to care.
You might be experiencing this right now yourself as we head into the second month of the year. A lot of men experience slips towards the end of the year and start out the new year with renewed, recommitted enthusiasm. As time passes, though, the motivation wanes again.
You still need to continue with the habits, rituals, and skills you established at the start of your reboot. Motivation is not going to be there every day. You’re going to wake up some mornings and not want to do the work you need to do. But remaining committed to your routine will carry you through those days that the motivation to reboot isn’t there.
External Motivation Doesn’t Last
When the loss of motivation arises, a lot of men start looking for it from external sources. They go watch a video, listen to podcast episodes, or connect with other men in their online community. These things might offer some temporary motivation but successful rebooters understand that it doesn’t last.
One of the greatest things that separate the successful rebooter from other men is their commitment to their positive habits. Successful rebooters stick to their routine whether they feel like it or not. Whether it’s fear, duty, or love that causes him to stick with it, he knows that the space for error is very small. If he doesn’t stick to his habits, he knows a slip is inevitable.
I’ve heard every excuse and alternative solution you could come up with.
“I just need to get on a call with you, J.K.”
“I’m going to reach out to the guys in the Porn Reboot group.”
“I’ll meet up with my therapist for an extra session this week.”
“There’s a 12-stem meeting that meets tonight. I’m sure that will help.”
They might help you for an hour or two, or maybe even a few days, but they’re not going to last. External motivation isn’t strong enough to keep you going in your reboot. You must develop the habits and routine that will carry through the days that your motivation just isn’t there.
Building the Right Habits
How can you build the habits you need to stick with your reboot? That’s what I cover here in the Porn Reboot blog. I also have a podcast you can subscribe to, a YouTube channel you can find me at, and the Porn Reboot Facebook group where we have an entire community of rebooters.
Men who spend time engaged in the Porn Reboot group realize their healthy habits become ingrained after a while. They don’t think about taking action; they just do it. Spend some time looking through the resources we have here and implement the system in your own life.
Join us here at Porn Reboot to discover how you can finally take back control of your out of control behaviors. Motivation will come and go but the Porn Reboot system will carry you through those lulls!