I’m very forward with my belief that it takes about two years for your brain to rewire using the Porn Reboot system.
Pretty often I have people reach out and ask where I came up with that two-year mark. I recently had someone ask this question:
“J.K., you recommend that we don’t count days, but you also say that it takes two years to recover. Does this mean two years of being porn-free or does it mean two years of following the system? For example, if a man is in your program and he relapses after one year, does this mean that it takes an additional two years to recover?
“Also, is the two years simply your opinion based on your experience with yourself and your clients, or are there other resources and experts who agree with this timeframe? How did you arrive at this two-year conclusion?”
I know some of you reading this might already know the answer but I think this question is an important one. It presents a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone: how does the two-year period work and where does it come from?
Again, I stand by my belief that it takes about two years for a man’s brain to rewire using the Porn Reboot system. I need to point out that I cannot speak for any other system out there, nor do I want to. I’m strictly familiar with the system we use here.
If you relapse after one year it doesn’t mean that you’ve “undone” all the work he put in. That’s not how the brain works and it’s exactly why I’m so against the concept of counting days. If you’re counting days and you have a slip or relapse you don’t immediately lose all of the progress you made. You didn’t waste the time you spent porn-free; it laid some solid groundwork for you to fall back on.
When men relapse it’s usually because they run into situations they’ve never experienced and are unprepared for. In some cases, it’s a traumatic event. He loses a loved one or goes through a divorce. Other times it’s an extreme circumstance like being laid off from his job or losing his business.
Then there are other situations I’ve not seen before that still arise. Last year a brother in the group had a slip when he didn’t receive any birthday wishes on his 30th birthday. This was the result of his strict boundaries around social media and some internal struggles with turning 30. He was used to receiving birthday wishes on Facebook and didn’t remind anyone in his real-life about his birthday because of those struggles.
So his birthday came around but no one wished him a happy birthday. This triggered some deeper issues related to his insecurities, causing a relapse. Thankfully he made it back right away and recognized where he went wrong in the process. But this relapse didn’t undo all the progress he made before he slipped.
A lot of people have an idea in their head that any recovery program is all about abstinence and how long you stay away from that behavior. When it comes to compulsive sexual behavior, though, I disagree. I think it’s a significant part of the process but it’s about much more than abstinence.
Rewiring your brain takes every area of life into account. That’s why we examine every aspect of your life when you join the Porn Reboot program. We look at your overall health, your biochemistry, what you eat, whether you exercise, when you go to bed, who you spend your time with, how you feel about yourself, and more. Every facet of your life plays an important role in your recovery from pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.
There are countless challenges online asking little to nothing from you. Think about No Fap November or 90-day No Fap challenges. Sure, you stop jerking off for a few weeks or months but you’re probably back at it and worse than before when the time is up. They consider no other part of your life and you often do little to replace the gap created when you cut out porn.
That’s why I ask you to dedicate two years to the Porn Reboot system. Rewiring your brain is a complex, in-depth process that takes time, commitment, and consistency. You’re not going to fix every single facet of your life in 90 days. So I didn’t come up with the two-year mark out of nowhere. It’s not necessarily something that research backs up but I’ve watched it work time and time again in my program.
I’m going into my 10th year of working with men and sharing the Porn Reboot system. I have hundreds of testimonials from clients in the intensive as well as non-clients who followed the system using our free materials. They all found success and freedom from porn during those two years.
I do want to acknowledge that our system isn’t for everyone. I’ve mentioned that before and I still stand by that, too. Some men need more support than the Porn Reboot intensive can offer. That’s why we have a screening process for anyone who wants to join our intensive program as a client.
Many men have a range of issues from childhood trauma to mental illness to other co-occurring disorders. Overcoming their behavior isn’t as simple as rewiring their brain; these men need therapy and a combination of different approaches.
Still, anyone can follow along using the posts I write here on the blog, the videos we post on YouTube, or the podcast we publish on various platforms. It’s why I create so much free content. I believe in the Porn Reboot system and I trust its ability to help almost any man who is ready to end his behavior and willing to do what it takes.
I’ll admit that requires dedication and persistence during those two years, but if you commit to it I promise it will change your whole life.