• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

Next up in our reboot capital series, brothers, is social reboot capital. Social reboot capital consists of activities that promote wellness within your interpersonal relationships. This includes your family, your friends, and your colleagues.

Human beings are social creatures and naturally seek the comfort and support of healthy relationships with others. However, as men who struggle with out-of-control behavior with porn addiction problems and masturbation, most of us do not have healthy relationships. We isolated ourselves because of the shame and guilt we felt. 

When we did have to spend time with others, more often than not we were irritated. Being around people took time away from what we really wanted to be doing: acting out. It drives a gap between us and those around us, making us more frustrating and difficult to be around.

A pivotal part of the reboot process involves learning to reintegrate with people. Building social reboot capital means building caring relationships with others while engaging in positive social interactions and behaviors.

I remember early in my reboot realizing that, while the friends I had around me were good people, they lived a lifestyle that could have easily led to me slipping. They went out to the bars every weekend, occasionally smoked weed, and were an overall party-oriented crowd. There’s nothing wrong with living life this way for normal people but you and I are far from normal, brother. We can’t balance that kind of lifestyle with a successful reboot.

Take stock of your friend group and consider how you all spend time together. What is the focus during your interactions? Where do you guys go? What is the driving force behind these relationships? Is there substance to them or is it all surface level with no depth?

Building social reboot capital requires looking at these things. Men who are successful in the porn addiction recovery Reboot Program consider every aspect of their lives. Consider whether your friends are helping you move toward the kind of man you want to be or further from it. Does spending time with them support your reboot practices or make them more difficult to follow through on?

If you find your friendships don’t strengthen your life in any way, it may be time to take a step back from some of them. I had to recognize which friendships were building me up and which were bringing me down. It doesn’t mean you have to cut out every single one of your friends but it does mean you need to expand your friend group.

The thought of spending time with new people triggers a lot of anxiety in many men, though. You’ve spent so many years isolating yourself from people around you and trying to scrape by with the relationships you already have. You likely feel some social anxiety whenever you do get out of the house and into social situations.

Addressing and working through this social anxiety is the first part of building social reboot capital. You can’t find new friends if you struggle to spend any time outside of your comfort zone. Overcoming social anxiety takes work but it is possible. And I say this as an introvert, brother!

Joining a class, group, or club is a great way to face your social anxiety head-on and begin building reboot capital. Join a small gym instead of a large box one, look for a hiking group in your area, or consider taking a class at the local community college. These will all surround you with people who share similar interests and give you something in common right away.

I chose to join a dance class when I first started building my social reboot capital. I know, can you believe that? I’m not a dancer, per se, but had a friend who invited me to check out a swing dancing class. I never would have checked it out on my own but because that friend invited me to go I was willing to try it.

He ended up not showing for the class and I remember feeling so uncomfortable and awkward at first. I felt silly for joining in and berated myself for even considering such a ridiculous thing. But by the end of it, believe it or not, I had a great time. I danced with a few girls as we learned and rotated partners which was more female interaction than I’d had in over two years.

Getting out and joining a group is a far cry from living in front of a computer screen the majority of your day. It brings you into the real world, encourages you to interact with real people, and teaches you real skills in the process. I believe participating in groups, classes, and clubs is by far the most effective way to build social reboot capital in the beginning.

As you build confidence through your activity of choice, expand your social practice into other areas of your social life. Once you become comfortable in the class, invite some of the people to hang out outside of the group. Go out to dinner, watch a movie, check out a museum. This builds more social reboot capital and allows you to engage outside of the structured environment.

Family is the most challenging part of building social reboot capital. Family members know which buttons to press and how to frustrate us the most. You may think the things they say don’t bother you too much but oftentimes they pick at our deepest insecurities. 

If your family is particularly difficult to interact with, I recommend keeping them at a comfortable distance until you develop more reboot capital. As you learn to reconnect with others, redevelop your sense of self, and maintain boundaries, you can let your family further into your life.

In the meantime, lean into brothers in the Porn Reboot group. Talk with men who have similar difficulties. Connecting with them keeps you from feeling alone in your struggles. Building relationships with your Porn Reboot brothers solidifies your social reboot capital, too. Join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group and find someone to connect with if you need it!

The post Building Social Reboot Capital: Strengthening Connections appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

The final part of our reboot capital series is about physical reboot capital. Physical reboot capital refers to your brain and your body. Spending years trapped in a cycle of porn addiction takes an incredible toll on your physical wellbeing. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep often fall to the wayside in favor of acting out in your behaviors.

When you first arrive at the Porn Reboot program, your biological functioning is worn out. It’s no wonder you feel awful when you first decide to quit your compulsive behaviors. You’ve overloaded your brain with dopamine and deprived your body of the things it needs to perform well. You need a massive physical overhaul. This is where building physical reboot capital becomes a necessity. 

Exercise

The first step to optimizing your physical well-being by building reboot capital is through physical activity. Moving your body is a vital part of your physical and mental health. In the beginning, you should aim for 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. The type of exercise doesn’t matter as much as the simple act of movement. Some ways to get started include:

• Walking
• Running
• Weightlifting
• Swimming
• Yoga
• Hiking

You might not be interested in physical activity, brother, but it’s crucial for your porn addiction recovery – Reboot Program. It’s a very serious priority in my life. Exercise enhances your brain and body’s abilities. It improves functioning, increases focus, decreases negative emotions, and more. Remember, you’re rewiring your brain. Physical exercise is the perfect way to naturally kick-start the process.

Once you build the habit of exercising for 30 minutes each day, start increasing the amount of time. Change up the forms of exercise you incorporate. I prefer weightlifting and some endurance exercises. You might find you enjoy other forms of movement. Whatever your preferences are, though, get yourself moving.

Nutrition

The next part of building physical reboot capital is nutrition. You’ve probably heard the phrase “food is fuel” before and it’s true. The foods you eat have a direct impact on how well you perform. Junk food destroys your capabilities. Whole foods empower you to function optimally.

When porn, sex, and masturbation consume all your time and energy you’re likely seriously neglecting your nutrition. You probably aren’t making home-cooked meals or paying attention to the composition of your food. Instead, you’re probably grabbing some fast food or neglecting to eat much at all because you’re distracted and busy.

You may also struggle with mindless, emotional, or boredom eating. Many people turn to food for comfort for a variety of reasons. If you find yourself eating for any of these reasons, you need to reconsider your eating habits and relationship with food, too.

Building physical reboot capital in regards to nutrition starts with learning the basics about food. Do you know what you’re putting into your body? Find out what macronutrients are, the basic building blocks of food. Start learning about the differences between whole foods and processed foods. The more you understand about the foods you eat the more informed your choices will be.

Once you have a basic understanding of nutrition, start rebuilding your diet. While there’s nothing wrong with going out to eat now and then, it shouldn’t be your primary source of nutrition. Instead, base your diet around healthy, whole foods like meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, oats, eggs, rice, potatoes, and beans. Make sure you eat enough protein every day. Don’t neglect the necessity of beneficial carbs. Keep fats in your diet because they’re important.

It won’t take long for you to notice how much of an impact a healthy diet has. You’ll sleep better, it’s easier to concentrate, your exercise performance skyrockets, and you’ll wonder how you ever got by on a poor diet before. Your mindset shifts entirely when you begin to focus on what you use to fuel your body!

Alcohol, Nicotine, and Drugs

Alcohol, nicotine, and drugs are substances that often accompany a porn- and sex-addicted lifestyle. These things help you numb yourself to the reality of your condition and keep you from thinking about where your life has ended up. Reconsidering your relationship with substances is another way to build physical reboot capital.

While you may or may not suffer with a substance abuse problem, cutting back on or eliminating alcohol, nicotine, and drugs is a good idea at the start of your reboot. Many men find they’re more likely to slip or relapse while they’re under the influence. Their inhibitions are lowered and they’re far more willing to do things they may not do while sober.

Also, substance abuse problems aside, alcohol, nicotine, and drugs truly add nothing to your life. Sure, it’s fun to have a beer with your friends while watching the game or to head out for drinks after a long day at the office. But when you consider everything else that follows, is it really worth it?

All these substances wreak havoc on your physical and mental wellbeing, especially when done in excess. If you find you have little control of your substance intake it may be best to leave them behind during the start of your reboot. 

Building Reboot Capital

We’ve reached the end of our reboot capital series. Hopefully, it gave you a deeper understanding of the importance of building reboot capital and some ideas for getting started. I now recommend joining our free Facebook group if you haven’t already. Connect with some brothers who seek help in our porn addiction counseling sessions and talk about which areas you’re actively working on. If you’re struggling in a specific area you’ll find a brother who can help you through it.

No matter where you’re at in your reboot you never have to go through the process alone. There are so many brothers available to help you in the areas you have a hard time with. You can also find some strength and purpose in helping another brother who’s experiencing difficulty in an area you’re strong in.

Finding freedom from your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation is only the beginning. The Porn Reboot program helps you build a life far beyond what you ever imagined possible. Building reboot capital is an important part of that process. You’re capable of so much more than you realize, brother, and you’re well on the way to discovering it.

The post Elevate Your Reboot: Mastering Physical Reboot Capital appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

Today I want to kick off our reboot capital series with the spiritual aspect of life. I find this area is difficult for many men in the program to come to terms with. The term “spiritual” brings to mind a certain idea of a specific brand of spirituality, one that makes lots of people bristle with discomfort and antagonism.

I can hear you now: “I’m not sure about that, J.K. I don’t think I need to worry about the spiritual side of things because I’m not a religious person.”

I’m not a religious person either, brother. I’ve always been open about that. But that doesn’t negate my belief that every person needs to connect with the spiritual side of life. I don’t mean giving up your will to a higher power. I don’t mean finding religion. I don’t mean spending hours per day in prayer. I don’t even necessarily mean meditating. Sure, all of these things may have their time and place but they’re not a requirement to develop spirituality.

The way I view spirituality is through the lens of, “Who am I and what am I here for?” Spirituality provides purpose and direction in life. I don’t just mean Christian spirituality, either. Spirituality is as straightforward as connecting with the world around you at a deeper level with greater awareness. It’s about your connection to your existence.

There are two inescapable truths in life: 

1. Everyone will die at some point.
2. Everyone experiences some form of tragedy or trauma at some point.

There is no way around either of those two things. You will die at some point and you will experience some tragic things that really rock you to the core of your being and make you question your existence. It may be the loss of someone close to you, loss of one of your senses, or loss of your physical, emotional, or mental wellbeing. When this tragedy eventually strikes, what are you going to lean on so you can keep going?

This is where spiritual reboot capital comes into practice. The magnitude of the world and its realities can feel crushing and impossible sometimes. But the spiritual side of life gives you meaning when it feels like there is none. You must develop spiritual reboot capital with the help of porn addiction counseling if you want to make it through these inevitable low points in life.

So, how do you develop spiritual reboot capital?

Start simple. Begin by being kind. Start being kind not only to the people you know but especially to the people you don’t. I believe kindness is the easiest path to spirituality because it requires you to do something for someone else who needs it. This is particularly when you don’t know the person and have no connection to them. They’re just another individual floating around in the world who needs some support. 

Brothers who implement this practice slowly begin to develop empathy and start to feel compassion. They begin to reconnect with emotions and feelings that have long been lost to porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior. 

It’s easy to end up in a tailspin trying to think your way into your purpose. Start by acting your way into your purpose instead. Sharing kindness with your fellow human beings is the most straightforward possible path to spirituality. It connects you with the world around you in the most intimate and important way possible.

As you develop compassion, empathy, and kindness for others, you’ll inevitably develop it for yourself as well. Those positive feelings will turn inward and you’ll feel a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in the world. 

Sharing kindness with your fellows is one of the most basic spiritual practices you can incorporate. Once you’re comfortable with this introduction practice you can start to include other things like reflective writing and meditation. The more time you dedicate to developing spiritual reboot capital the more positive you will feel. You’ll feel more connected with yourself, with others, and with the world as a whole. 

If you’re interested in connecting with other brothers and learning about the ways they build their spiritual reboot capital including porn addiction recovery programs which you can attain – join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. We’d love to hear what you’re working on and offer some help if you’re feeling stuck. We look forward to having you, brother!

The post Enhance Your Spiritual Reboot Capital appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

Today I’m going to dig into the importance of building up your mental reboot capital. The mental area of your life refers to your cognitive abilities consisting of your thinking and reasoning skills. It also includes your thoughts, beliefs, and values. Your mental wellbeing is the foundation that your porn addiction recovery is built on.

When you live with an out-of-control sexual behavior, your behaviors hijack your mind. Whether you prefer porn, masturbation, sex, chat sites, cam sites, OnlyFans, escorts, your compulsive behavior distorts your thinking capabilities. 

Your out-of-control sexual behavior leads you to develop irrational thinking patterns and severely limits your choices. Couple this with a misaligned set of values and you begin to see the very terrible personal, spiritual, social, and even legal problems that your behavior can cause.

Building mental reboot capital begins with increasing your knowledge about your addictive behavior. You do this by what you’re already doing – reading this blog. You can expand your knowledge by listening to the Porn Reboot podcast, watching videos on our YouTube channel, or engaging with brothers in the free Facebook group.

Further growth comes from challenging your distorted thinking patterns and beliefs. Reestablishing your values is one of the quickest ways to build mental reboot capital. Having a strong values system provides you with a guide for developing every other area of your reboot capital. Knowing the values you prefer to live by clears up any lingering confusion.

You’re going to experience times during your reboot when you feel compelled to relax a bit. You’ll want to let off the gas pedal and set the cruise control. For example, take the holiday season that just passed. Everyone around you is taking it easy and relaxing but you’re still starting your day with a morning routine, getting into the gym, and staying connected with your accountability partners. You wonder why you should have to work so hard while your friends and family check out for the rest of the year.

These are the times your mental reboot capital is most important. If anything, your reboot routine becomes even more crucial during these periods. While there’s nothing wrong with relaxing, taking your foot off the gas pedal is the first way to send yourself into a relapse cycle.

Mental reboot capital helps you remember why you started your reboot in the first place. It reminds you of the importance of building reboot capital in every area of your life. Your mental reboot capital keeps you on the path during the moments you question whether your out-of-control behavior was really “that big of a deal.”

Truth is, brother, you’re not like your friends and family. Sure, you may have plenty of things in common. But if they don’t also have a problem with porn, sex, and masturbation, they don’t have to adhere to the same structure as you. Your pursuit of a porn-free life means you must completely change your perspective and rewire your brain.

There will also be times when you feel challenged and overwhelmed. You’re going to have days where the motivation to move forward simply isn’t there. Building mental reboot capital strengthens you during these days, too. You won’t feel inspired every day but your mental porn addiction counseling program will keep you going when these moments inevitably arise.

Having a deep acceptance of your problem with porn, sex, and masturbation, understanding why it happens, and recognizing how to get out of it are all components of your mental wellbeing. As you work on these aspects of your reboot, your mental reboot capital will grow. Stay committed to the process, brother, and you’ll find yourself able to handle these lulls when they arise!

The post Elevate Your Mental Reboot Capital appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

Today I want to continue last week’s post on emotional reboot capital. Getting in touch with your emotions and learning to identify them is one of the greatest challenges of your early reboot. 

There is one emotion, in particular, that tends to stand out as men start feeling their feelings again: anger.

Anger is one of the most common emotions in men dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior. Oftentimes therapists will teach men to “let out their anger” as long as they again learn to “manage it.” 

Sure, this may be true, but encouraging that early in your reboot is like handing a hand grenade to a child. You have no experience controlling strong emotions. Leaning into an emotion as intense as anger can lead to an explosive and even dangerous outcome.

Anger is a normal experience. You’re not a bad person because you’re walking around feeling angry most of the time. Many men who had no experience with anger issues before find that they feel incredible rage when they first start the reboot process. You’re not to blame for the anger that swells up during the early days of your reboot. 

You are, however, responsible for learning to control it. If you want to be successful in your porn addiction recovery you must not let your anger control you. It’s one of the most powerful relapse triggers, right after fear, shame, and doubt. Controlling your anger begins with understanding the causes of it and how it works.

Most men use porn and masturbation to suppress anger issues early in life. They pushed this emotion down deep instead of allowing it to run its course. Like all suppressed emotions, the anger comes out tenfold when it’s finally given some space. 

Anger is like any other emotion, such as joy. It’s neither good nor bad. What makes anger bad is the poor ways that people tend to handle it. When you use it as an excuse to fly off the handle and end up in a rage, anger is bad. When you add on the internal challenges of guilt, depression, burnout, loneliness, and paranoia, it only adds fuel to the fire.

Some of the main causes of anger include:

• Fear 
• Irrational beliefs
• Unrealistic expectations
• Uncommunicated needs

Every time you have an expectation that goes unmet or a false belief that you seek proof for, it triggers the anger deep within you. As you progress through your reboot you’ll naturally work through each of these areas. You’ll learn to face your fear. You’ll learn to challenge your irrational beliefs. You’ll learn to drop your unrealistic expectations. You’ll learn to speak up about your needs.

In the meantime, though, incorporating some things can help you avoid and work through anger. You spent years anesthetizing your emotions with porn, sex, and masturbation. Now that you no longer have these “tools”, what can you do instead?

I recommend starting with exercise. Regular exercise is an effective way to free yourself of pent-up frustration through the natural release of endorphins. When you feel that anger rise inside, go for a long walk, lift weights at the gym, shoot some hoops at the basketball court. Find a form of exercise that works for you and implement it – it will make more of a difference than you can imagine.

Next, keep a journal of the things that trigger you. What are the events, situations, people, and circumstances that cause the anger? What are some other feelings that come up during these moments? Writing is a crucial tool to use when learning to work through anger and other emotions, not only at the start of your reboot but throughout it.

Mindfulness meditation is another helpful practice to incorporate when you’re starting to work through your anger. The practice of mindfulness involves being present in the moment and paying attention to what’s going on around you. It also involves not sinking into or dwelling in your feelings. Instead, you observe them and then let them pass by.

Anger is a normal part of life, brother, and learning to live with it will make your porn addiction counseling much more successful. These three practices, exercise, journaling, and mindfulness, are each an antidote to your anger. The more often you incorporate each one, the easier it will be to work through anger when it arises. 

However, if you choose not to involve practices to address your anger it will contribute much distress and unhappiness in your life. You leave yourself more at risk of relapse, you’ll treat others poorly, and you’ll continue to struggle. If you want to find freedom from your out-of-control behavior, finding freedom from anger is a vital part of the process.

The post Managing Anger: Mastering Emotional Reboot Capital appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

However, I’ve never dedicated a post to explaining what reboot capital is. It’s a foundational part of the porn addiction recovery – reboot system so I want to help you understand what it is and the role it plays.

Reboot capital is the way I look at building up your life so you can stay off pornography and masturbation. These parts of life are what allow you to wake up each morning and face the day, feeling full of joy and purpose. The five areas of life where you need to build reboot capital are:

• Mental
• Social
• Spiritual
• Physical
• Emotional

Disconnection from any one of these five areas leads you back to a slip in your out-of-control behavior. Reconnection is not only the path back to these areas of your life, but also the antidote to letting them go. The pain you experience exists when you’re out of sync in one or more of these areas. The stronger you build up these five areas of your life, the more fulfilled you’ll feel and the less likely you are to return to pornography. 

Reboot capital is the concept I use to keep all of them in check. Just as a person needs capital when they start a business, a man needs capital to stay afloat when ending his behavior with porn and masturbation. 

When you deplete capital in any of these five areas, you begin a subtle but sure spiral toward a slip. But when all five areas are working together, you experience contentment, fulfillment, and balance in your life.

Ending your out-of-control behavior doesn’t mean life becomes amazing forever. You must always monitor and ensure each area has sufficient capital flowing into it to keep you moving forward when times get tough. And times will inevitably get tough, brother, because that’s the way life happens. 

Over the next few days I’m going to take a deep dive into how to build reboot capital in these five areas. To stay off pornography for life and rewire your brain without fear of returning to your behavior, you must heal, nurture, and develop each of them. Learning how to stop porn addiction and check back in a few days to read more about the building mental reboot capital.

The post Developing Reboot Capital for Lasting Change appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Social

Now that we’ve covered the spiritual and mental aspects of your reboot, emotional wellbeing is the next area to pursue. Building emotional reboot capital requires you to feel and experience life at a deeper level. Your emotional side is the part of you that seeks meaningful contact with others.

A pornography-laden life creates distance between you and those you love. This applies not only in a physical sense because of the time you spend watching it. This also applies in an emotional sense because it dampens your emotions and holds you back from building fulfilling relationships with the people you care about.

Over time, the truth begins to blur as you justify your increasingly harmful behavior. You shut down emotionally to block out the negative feelings that stem from your porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior. The deeper you fall into your addiction, the more you’re forced to numb your emotions.

A successful reboot requires you to reconnect with your emotions so you can once again fully engage with life. At the same time, it also requires learning to keep your emotions from controlling you. This means you need to address your emotional deficiencies and build emotional reboot capital. What does emotional reboot capital entail?

Most men who struggle with out-of-control sexual behavior stunted their emotional growth. They are emotionally immature. If you started watching porn during your childhood or early teenage years, you’re more likely to experience adverse results, cognitive disorders, and social challenges during adulthood.

Emotionally immature men remain stuck in their negative emotions and seem to have no way out of them. For example, you may feel uncomfortable in your skin and find it difficult to deal with the everyday challenges of life. When faced with problems you may become short-tempered or feel unable to cope. Some men even develop learned helplessness, meaning they depend too heavily on others because they don’t believe they have the power to enact change for themselves.

There are many dangers of unaddressed emotional immaturity. These include things like:

• Loneliness
• Lack of intimacy
• Difficulties with interpersonal relationships
• Struggles with building new friendships
• Inability to face life on life’s terms
• Greater risk of slips or relapse

On the other hand, emotionally mature men recognize, understand, and manage their emotions. This enables them to define success for themselves, relate with others, and create the life they desire. Emotionally mature men do not need to numb the intensity of life’s ups and downs; they take each moment as it comes and make the best of it.

Some of the traits of emotionally mature men include:

• Not a victim of their emotions
• Easier to live in the moment
• Able to be of use to others
• Experience less stress
• Build stronger, more effective relationships
• Overall optimism about the future

Working through your emotional immaturity is critical if you want to be successful in your porn addiction recovery. Emotionally immature men do not have a successful porn addiction counseling. They blame others for their problems and refuse to take responsibility. And while you may struggle with emotional immaturity now, you have the power to work through and overcome this serious handicap.

Building emotional reboot capital is a bit more challenging than spiritual and mental capital. These emotional deficiencies plague us our entire lives up to the point where we are today. I’m going to unpack the ways you can build emotional reboot capital over the next few days before we launch into the rest of the series.

The post Unlocking Emotional Reboot Capital appeared first on Elevated Recovery.