I’m sharing this because I’ve spoken with brothers who considered it as a result of their sexual behavior during their reboot. Maybe you visited an escort while married or had sex with a man. Perhaps you’re struggling with your sexuality because you find yourself attracted to transgender individuals and aren’t sure where that places you.

I know these experiences are confusing and sometimes painful. It’s hard to understand the ways that porn addiction alters your sexual palate and makes you question your sexuality. Sometimes you may feel so lost and hopeless that suicide seems like the only way out. But I promise you that is far from the truth.

I found myself feeling the same way when I was at the lowest points of my porn addiction. I couldn’t see any way out and wasn’t sure how else to get the thoughts and behaviors to stop. However, knowing what I know now, I would rather be a porn addict for my entire life than commit suicide. Even if I hadn’t ended my behavior, choosing not to end my life gives me time to still find a solution.

Life is far too vast and too much of a magical gift to give up on because you can’t stop touching your dick. I’ve worked with CEOs of billion-dollar companies, megachurch pastors, politicians, athletes, trust fund babies, broke college students, and men in third-world countries. Porn addiction doesn’t care what your background is. No one is immune.

Many of these men have also considered suicide at some point. Porn addiction leaves men with health issues, financial issues, and broken relationships, but it’s the only coping mechanism that we have. This creates such an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that it may seem like ending your life is the one option left.

But you’re here on the Porn Addiction Recovery blog. You recognize that you might still have a chance. Even if everything is falling apart around you, you still have the time to read this blog post. That means you still have time to change your life and end your out-of-control behavior, thus ending your suicidal thoughts.

I don’t want to lose any brothers to the grips of porn addiction problems. I know what a difficult thing it is to live with. And I also know that it’s possible to escape. I am living proof, and so are the hundreds of other men in the Porn Reboot program building beautiful lives for themselves and their loved ones.

All you have to do is reach out for help. I don’t care how bad you think life is, it’s never bad enough that suicide is your only option. If your contemplations are serious enough, please reach out to an emergency service line first and seek out more intensive care. 

If you’re not an immediate risk to yourself, consider talking with some brothers in the group. I guarantee you’ll find someone who understands exactly what you’re going through and who can offer help and hope. They serve as genuine proof that you can escape the chains of porn addiction, too.

The post Don’t Kill Yourself Over a Relapse appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

1) Letting down others. Your success and wealth place you in a position of influence. You may be a mentor to some people, have family members who look up to you and employees, partners and business associates who look to you for guidance and leadership. You also know that demonstrations of power, wealth, and leadership lead others to sometimes assume that you are a model for not just financial success, but personal integrity as well. Your fear of letting down all these people can keep you from taking the responsibility of admitting that have a serious problem and seeking help.
This also ties in with entitlement. You may feel that you deserve everything you have and more-including your current sexual life- as out of control as it might be. A sense of entitlement can cause you to believe that it is impossible to have a problem with addiction. Others around you whom you employ, or who depend on you financially may be reluctant to point out your self destructive behavior for fear of losing your support or their jobs. Seeking help and recovery from your addiction will put you in contact with recovery professionals whose opinion is not influenced by your status or affluence.

2) There is no rock bottom: Unfortunately, for a high successful person, there is rarely a “rock-bottom” moment such as losing a spouse, losing your job or home. An abundance of resources and a secure financial situation insulates you from these revealing experiences, making it difficult to realize that there is a serious problem affecting you. A good example would be the numerous sexual assault accusations which have been publicized in recent months beginning with Harvey Weinstein. When there is a legitimate sexual addiction involved, it is not until a woman publicizes the behavior of an addict- usually a symptom of their compulsive behavior that they experience “rock bottom” for the first time in their life. Even then, in many cases, the “rock bottom” effect which exposes one to potentially life saving consequences can be reduced by well deployed public relations and legal action.

3) Financial concerns. If you are a highly successful person who is facing a challenging financial transition in your business, an out of control sexual behavior does not help. You may have a tendency to dismiss treatment for your addiction because you feel that it is a waste of time and resources when compared to the financial emergency at hand. For instance, some of my clients have dipped into their company expenses to finance their compulsion to hire high end prostitutes, others maintain the lifestyle of multiple mistresses and feel obligated to do so for fear of losing them- against the advice of their accountants and financial advisers. You don’t make the best financial decisions when compulsively chasing sexual highs or when high on substances. The reality is that your decisions made while under the influence of addiction leads to a worsening of any existing financial crisis and seeking support for your addiction can only help you.

4) Fear of leaving work.  Your position at work is important to you and is the ultimate validation of your achievement. To maintain this position and identity, you may have the belief that you cannot take breaks or vacations. If you do, you might jeopardize the success of your company or position which you have achieved through incredible amounts of hard work. When you struggle with a sexually compulsive disorder, your performance at work is adversely affected .This is inevitable and the fear of losing your career can slowly build up. You may even have started mixing drugs with your work and sex to enhance both the experience and to keep you working longer, more focused hours.You feel that you can balance both work and your out of control sexual life by using drugs.

5) Inability to identify with other addicts: The common stereotypes of addicts are poorly dressed, homeless, disheveled people on the street. Popular culture, TV shows and what you see on the streets on the way to work emphasize this . Your self image as an individual who is in control, who dresses well and who has power makes it difficult to accept the reality that addiction can affect anyone. Sex and Porn addiction is no different than a substance addiction. You are still addicted to chemicals, albeit the chemical cocktail that is released in your brain when you expose yourself to pornographic material or chase a sexual experience compulsively. Addiction can affect anyone regardless of net worth, social status, or how functioning you believe you may be.

6) Risk to reputation: No successful, wealthy professional wants to risk their addiction affecting their reputation in anyway. If there is even the slightest risk that there will be a legal record of their behavior, the fear will cause them to conceal their behavior even more. However, it is precisely for this reason that you should seek professional help with your addictive behavior- the longer you wait to seek help, the higher the chances of legal repercussions and damage to your reputation.

7) Hidden by other disorders: Sometimes, a sexual addiction is hidden by addiction to other substances such as pain killers, opioids or anti depressants. Often, a highly successful individual may spend years dependent on prescription medication which keeps them oblivious to other issues that they may struggle with. A past history of trauma could also be obsured by not only the abuse of prescription medication and opioids ,but by false beliefs such as the belief that one has a high sex drive even though your sexual behavior may be causing adverse effects to your relationship, your career, health and finances.

8) Divorce and Children: Its no secret that the divorce rate among highly successful CEOs, business owners, executives and other affluent individuals is high. Admitting to sex addition can not only be a one way ticket to divorce, but can put the successful persona at a serious disadvantage when it comes to custody of their children or even in divorce proceedings. This fear only serves to make you conceal your behavior even more- much to your detriment. In the meantime, you try your best to maintain the illusion of a perfect family.

9) Rationalizing Behavior: High confidence can cause you to rationalize your behavior to extremes. Some common rationalizations I usually hear are:
“ I have sex with prostitutes because I too busy and don’t have time for relationships “
“ I watch porn because its the only way I can get an erection these days.”
“ Its how I de-stress from a busy day.”
“ I only do these things when I’m on the road/ on business trips.”
For those who mix substances with their out of control sexual behavior, I also hear variations of:
“ My doctor prescribed this medication, that why I take it”
“ Drinking helps me deal with stress.”
“ Sex is much better on (insert substance) and I can still work the next day.”
The dark side of great confidence is a great rationalization for addictive behavior.

10) The stigma of addiction: Sex and Porn addiction come with the stigma of weakness, failure, and poor judgment which are not qualities associated with successful, high performing individuals. If you are a celebrity in your industry or highly visible, the stigma of such an addiction can make it very difficult to become vulnerable and honestly seek help.

J.K Emezi is an Addiction Recovery Professional and the Founder of Elevated Recovery International, which offers solutions for sexually compulsive disorders in high achieving professionals.
You can visit his practice at www.elevatedrecovery.org as well as his Youtube Channel

The post 10 Reasons Why Highly Successful People Don’t Seek Help for Sex & Porn Addiction appeared first on Elevated Recovery.