Other times people simply think they’re the same thing. Each term is similar and all three are related but there are unique differences that separate them.

Values are your long-lasting beliefs on certain issues and things that are important to you. They are essentially the foundation of your principles. Some examples of values are integrity, compassion, patience, and generosity.

Principles are indisputable, unchanging rules you hold that are based on your values. For example, “treat others the way you want to be treated” is a principle. Another one I apply in my life is “don’t dip your pen in company ink”, meaning don’t get involved with women at your work.

Standards are actions or behaviors that you expect yourself to live up to based on your values and principles. These include things like working hard, being rigorously honest, committing to your physical well-being, and supporting your family. 

How do values, principles, and standards play a role in your reboot?

Oftentimes I notice that people tend to pick up values, principles, or standards because they think they sound cool. They hear someone they admire or respect throw one of these things out and so they adopt it without thinking. However, if that value, principle, or standard doesn’t align with your truth, it’s not going to hold up over time.

Values, principles, and standards are all very personal things. You can’t simply look at someone else and take theirs as your own. Sure, there will always be some crossover between you and other people. But the system as a whole will differ slightly from person to person.

There isn’t necessarily a “right” or “wrong” way to approach these things. Everyone has a different way of thinking and believing. Our value systems are shaped by factors like the society you live in, the area you grow up in, your family, and your friends. At first, you’ll likely share some similar values, principles, and standards with those around you. Over time, though, you may start to recognize where the values you learned when you were young don’t align with how you see the world as an adult.

As you grow up, you develop a set of values and principles that fit with your beliefs. This results in a set of standards that you live your life by. An important distinction between values and principles and standards is that standards are very personal. People often try to impose their standards on others and it leads to problems. Values and principles are used to determine who you surround yourself with but standards aren’t something you can force others to adhere to.

I’ve talked about values and principles before and their importance in the reboot process. I don’t think I’ve dedicated enough attention to standards, though, and that’s what I want to focus on today. Developing standards is a crucial part of your reboot and I want to help you begin that process.

1. You must create personal standards that you adhere to at all times.

There is no avoiding developing a set of standards as a man in porn addiction recovery, sex, and masturbation. You cannot live a directionless life free from personal standards, nor can you simply adopt the standards of those around you. 

Your standards inform your decisions, from the job you take to the people you spend time with. If you don’t have standards you’ll be left to react to whatever happens around you. Successful men who are strong in their convictions do not live a reactionary life. They develop a set of standards and stick to them without question.

2. Recognize that your standards are not goals.

Some men mistake standards for goals. They believe that they’re ideals to work towards at some point in the future. However, standards are not something off in the distance. They should inform your life as it is right now in the present moment. Your standards serve as the filter for your decision-making and behaviors.

Every time a decision comes up you should run it by your personal standards. Does going out to the strip club with your buddies align with your standards for maintaining your reboot? Does slacking off at work align with the type of man you’re working to become? These aren’t distant decisions; they are happening right now and your standards inform your choices.

3. Your standards are yours and yours alone.

Again, standards are a personal framework for living. Standards are something you determine for yourself based on your values and principles. They are not something you impose on your friends and family. Nor are they something you adopt from the people around you. 

Drawing your standards from others leads to a dishonest life. Imposing your standards on others creates unrealistic expectations that will inevitably be unmet at some point. Your standards should work for you and you alone and serve as the driving force for your actions, not for others.

4. Standards are for personal fulfillment, not for impressing others.

Do not outline standards that you think will impress others. Even if they are aligned with your values and principles, standards aren’t a tool for boosting your ego. You’re still developing a dishonest set of standards if you approach them this way.

Instead, outline standards that leave you feeling personally fulfilled. They should be a framework for living that lets you put your head on the pillow at night knowing that you’re being true to yourself. Ultimately, the most important part of living a successful life is ensuring your thoughts and actions align with your beliefs. Standards are the way to ensure that happens.

The post Why You Need Standards in The Porn Reboot Program appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

If you aren’t sure what standards are, you’re far from alone. The way I see it is if values and principles are the building blocks of your life, then standards are the final structure you’re working toward. Developing a strong set of standards is crucial if you want to be successful in your reboot. 

There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding the terms values, principles, and standards. People often think they’re the same thing. While all three are similar and related, there are unique differences that separate them, too.

Values are your long-lasting beliefs on certain issues that are important to you. They are essentially the foundation of your principles. Some examples of values are things like compassion, integrity, generosity, and patience.

Principles, on the other hand, are indisputable, unchanging rules that are based on your values. For instance, principles are things like treating others the way you want to be treated, or not getting involved with women in your workplace.

Standards are actions and behaviors that you expect yourself to live up to based on your values and principles. This includes working hard, being rigorously honest, committing to your physical well-being, supporting your family, and so on. 

I notice that people tend to adopt values, principles, or standards because they sound cool. Maybe a cool influencer or someone you look up to in life said them. However, if that value, principle, or standard doesn’t actually align with your truth, it won’t hold up over time. These things are all very personal and aren’t something you simply pick up from someone else.

Everyone has a different way of thinking and believing. Each person’s value system is shaped by a variety of factors like the area they were born in, the society they were raised in, the family and friends they grew up around, and more.

At first, you inevitably adopt the values, principles, and standards of those around you. But over time, you may start to recognize where those things don’t truly align with your thoughts and beliefs. You develop your own set of values, principles, and standards as you grow up, a set that works for you.

How do values, principles, and standards play a role in ending your out-of-control behavior with pornography and masturbation? Some of these things will have to do with your path in the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot system. For example, going to the strip club with your buddies used to not be that big of a deal. But now you’ll likely need to adopt a new standard that eliminates things like this from your life.

Additionally, people who don’t struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors generally have a bit more leeway in their lives. They may be able to push the limits of their adherence to principles without much thought or consequence. But if you find yourself out of alignment with your values, principles, and standards, you’ll also find yourself at a greater risk of slipping or relapsing.

This is the result of living dishonestly. Going against your values, principles, and standards, or adopting them from someone else instead of determining them for yourself, is dishonest. You’re the only one who can decide what path is right for you. If you choose to live by someone else’s standards, you’ll forever live a substandard life.

I want you to keep a few things in mind as you begin to consider the framework within which you want to live your life after you reboot:

• You must create personal standards that you adhere to at all times. You cannot live a directionless life if you want to reboot successfully. Your standards inform your entire life, from the job you take to the people you spend time with. If you don’t have standards, you’ll be left to the whims of wherever life blows you.

• You must recognize that standards are not the same thing as goals. Many men mistake standards for goals, but they’re different things. Standards are not ideals to work toward achieving in the future; they are things that drive the course of your life in each moment of every day. You should run every decision through your list of standards before following through with it.

• Your standards are yours and yours alone, and you cannot impose them on others. Again, values, principles, and standards are all very personal things. You cannot move through life expecting everyone to adhere to your approach. This only sets you up for failure and lasting resentment. Live by your standards and leave others to behave as they see fit.
• Standards are for personal fulfillment, not for impressing other people. Do not outline standards you think will “look good” to others. This is only another form of dishonesty. Outline standards that leave you feeling personally fulfilled. They should be a framework for living that lets you put your head on the pillow at night knowing you’ve been true to yourself throughout the day.

Ultimately, the most important part of living a successful life is ensuring that your thoughts and actions align with your beliefs. Developing and living by a strong set of standards is the most efficient and effective way to do this. If you want to be successful in the Porn Reboot program, setting these standards now is a crucial part of the process.

The post Developing Standards in Porn Addiction Recovery appeared first on Elevated Recovery.