“J.K, a few months ago you mentioned conditioning your brain to achieve the maximum amount of REM sleep on around four hours of sleep per night. I want to achieve a similar sleep cycle at some point in my life, too. You brought it up in an old podcast episode. How did you achieve this? Does age play a role in your ability to do it? Do you have any resources you recommend?”

Fantastic question. Many of us high performers want to know what we can do to maximize our results on a minimal amount of sleep. Before getting to the answer, though, I want to ask you what your purpose is for cutting down those hours. Why do you want to get so little sleep? Is your schedule so tight that you truly need to sacrifice your rest? Or are you using it to compensate for another area where you’re slacking off?

Why do you want to cut back on sleep?

Sleep is one of the most important aspects of your overall health. An endless sea of research proves this to us, brother. It impacts your physical, mental, social, and emotional well-being. Not getting enough sleep leads to poor work performance, limited focus, decreased emotional resilience, and more. It should never be the first thing on the chopping block, especially for men early in their reboot who are still susceptible to emotional dysregulation.

I suggest you start by looking for areas where you can trim the fat during your waking hours instead. I guarantee you can find at least a few ways you’re wasting time throughout the day. Even though I suggest cutting most extraneous media from your life, I see many brothers still use social media or watch TV when they complete their tasks for the day. Do you scroll a little too far through Instagram or Twitter, or watch an extra episode of television here and there? 

Maybe you’re not as efficient as you could be with your work or at the gym. Be honest with yourself. Neglecting sleep because you can’t control yourself during the day is not a good enough reason to try sleeping four hours per night. Step up and be responsible enough to limit your distractions and that should leave you with more time for sleep at night.

If you’re still determined to sleep four hours a night, I also want you to consider what you’re doing with that extra time. Are you squandering it by spreading yourself thin between too many different activities? When I trained myself to get good rest on four hours of sleep, I did it because I was laser-focused on a single task. I had a project I was passionate about at the time. It consumed so much of my focus and I wanted to spend all my waking hours working on it. I used my extra time to dive deeper into this one particular project.

Too often I see men who want to limit their sleep so they can divide their passion between their work, a writing project, a side hustle, a hobby, and time with their family. But by trying to funnel their energy into so many different areas, they ended up wasting that extra time they got when cutting back on rest instead of making good use of it. It wasn’t worth all of the negative effects that so little sleep had on them.

Types of men who can successfully cut back on sleep

I’m not trying to say that it’s impossible, brother. As our brother mentioned when he asked his question, I’ve done it successfully myself multiple times over the years. But it isn’t a beneficial practice for everyone and it’s not the best long-term solution, either. There are certain types of people who can function optimally on only a few hours of sleep. These include:

• People with a specific genetic disposition
• People in certain professions (e.g., military or first responders)
• People who want to focus on one particular area
• People with some mental illnesses

Specific genetic dispositions

Through my research, I’ve found that some people have a genetic predisposition to functioning well on little sleep. I like to refer to it as the “short sleep” gene. It’s called the D.C. 2 mutation and it allows people who have it to feel very well rested to four hours of sleep. They feel as fine as others do with the 8 or 9 hours we’re all supposed to get. It has no negative effects on their heart, organs, or mental performance, either. 

There’s also another naturally-occurring genetic predisposition called the A.D.R.B. 1 gene that has similar effects. A few examples of some people who may have the short sleep gene include Donald Trump and Martha Stuart. Both have a lifelong history of short sleep from an early age yet still have tremendous success in their lives.

Certain professions

People in certain professions, such as military soldiers, first responders, or surgeons, also learn to function optimally on limited or interrupted sleep. They train themselves to sleep less over the years because it’s necessary for success in their career. Their lives are on the line without finely tuning the need for fewer hours of sleep.

This is especially true of units like the Navy Seals or the Army Green Berets who are on missions that affect their lives and the lives of others. They train professionally through the U.S. military, a highly effective organization with hundreds of years of experience implementing this practice. Look up Jocko Willick and David Goggins, two great examples of men who learned to function optimally on little sleep.

Precise, determined focus

The third type of people who can function well on less sleep is those who want to get more done. They aren’t mindlessly filling their time with more things, though; they stay up because of a precise, determined focus on one thing. There is one thing they want to accomplish that is worth losing sleep over. They have one big goal they’re focused on that enables them to maintain an obsessive level of self-belief, self-discipline, and intense drive despite losing sleep.

I’m not talking about the guys who use their limited number of sleep hours as a marketing tool. I know you have at least one or two people who come to mind that constantly try to prove what hard workers they are by bragging about their lack of sleep. These men are not included in this section; it’s not a badge of honor to sacrifice sleep. It’s only useful when you’re truly disciplined and focused in your areas of expertise, like Tony Robbins or Cameron Haynes, a practiced bow hunter and ultra-marathon runner.

Mental illness

People with some types of mental illness are another example of getting by on limited hours of sleep. I don’t want to dive too deeply into this area because it’s not directly related to our brother’s question, but it’s worth mentioning.  So get porn addiction recovery program

People with bipolar disorder tend to have difficulties with sleeping brought about by their mental illness. During their manic or hypomanic episodes, they are often unusually productive while sleeping only three or four hours at a time. However, they struggle when their mood shifts to depressive episodes, and oftentimes they backtrack on the progress they made in their manic state.

Is sacrificing sleep worth it for you?

Still, getting limited sleep for long periods is detrimental to your health for most normal individuals. Research shows that poor sleep leads to lasting health effects that impact you long after you return to a normal sleep schedule. People who train themselves specifically for the practice may still experience some delayed health effects; only time will tell there. 

The brother who asked the question mentioned he wants to do more things, including gardening, working out, spending time with his family, working on some writing projects, and a few other personal projects. He would fall into the third category, same as me, save for one crucial detail: he doesn’t have an unwavering focus on a single area. He’s trying to do too many things at once. Unless he chooses to eliminate all but one of those things, his lack of sleep will likely only be a detriment to his performance.

Men often operate on the illusion of balance. They believe that they’ll always be able to have a balanced life. I think that’s what drives my high performers to want to get by on limited sleep. But here’s the thing, brother: balance is an illusion. You’ll never achieve a perfectly-balanced life.

Instead, there are different seasons for different things. There is a season for building your life back up, such as improving your social skills and developing your physique. There is a season for dating or for strengthening your existing relationship. There is a season for building wealth, a season for advancing your career, and a season for launching your side hustle.

None of this happens without a system, though. You need a proven path to achieve your goals, or to even establish them in the first place. You’ve spent months, years, or decades aimlessly spinning around trying to latch onto whatever shiny object passes your way. And if you’re still doing that, you’re going to struggle when trying to cut back on your sleep.

If you’re a regular guy with a regular life, even if you’re one of my highest performers, I want you to think for a while and be rigorously honest with yourself before deciding to limit your rest. What are you doing it for and are there other ways to find more time in your day? If you can’t provide good answers for either question, it might not be time for you to sacrifice sleep just yet. Continue with your reboot process and reconsider the option later down the line instead.

The post Sleeping 4 Hours a Night While Rebooting appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Something I’ve noticed during that time, though, is how frequently affluent men avoid seeking help for their porn addiction. Whether their wealth is familial or earned on their own and regardless of their age, their fortunes seem to serve as a barrier to rebooting.

You might think that affluent men have an easier time overcoming their problems. They have all the resources they could ever need at their disposal. How could their wealth get in the way of how to stop porn addiction? In reality, their money is the thing that holds them back. These are the 4 most common barriers that cause trouble for affluent men in their reboot.

1. Denial

Denial is the biggest barrier to rebooting for any man but especially for affluent men. In some cases, the process of coming to terms with their pornography addiction can have serious financial or legal consequences. These men have large things to lose so they want to do all they can to avoid jail time or large fines.

Compulsive sexual behavior can be an expensive habit when you’re hiring escorts or signing up for premium content online. Men with average financial means often hit a financial threshold where they’re no longer able to fund their behavior. But a man with extreme wealth can fund his behavior which allows him to remain in denial for much longer.

2. Stigma

Many affluent men are in the business of appearances. These men fear falling from the social pedestal they live on. Coming clean about pornography addiction or compulsive sexual behavior is unthinkable because of the negative stigma associated with it. The idea of losing their status because of their porn addiction is a terrifying thing.

This is true for men who come from dignified families in particular. Men from families like these have a certain reputation to uphold. If someone discovered the truth about their problem, they could face serious consequences not only for themselves but for their families as well. The shame and guilt that result from the porn addiction stigma hold men back from getting help.

3. Rock Bottom

Men won’t reach out for help with their porn addiction problem until they hit rock bottom. Every man has an individual definition of what rock bottom means to them. For example, maybe it’s when their wife leaves and takes the kids, when the bank accounts are empty and the credit cards are maxed out, or when they’re caught watching porn at work.

Reaching rock bottom is a humiliating and humbling experience that’s important for recognizing that you finally need help. But affluent men with significant financial means oftentimes take far longer to hit this point than those with a more average income. Their monetary resources keep them from sinking to a place where they have to ask for help.

4. Distraction

Wealthy men are oftentimes the kings of distraction. They can fund whatever interest comes to mind no matter how short-term it may be. Even when they fear they might need help, these men can finance all sorts of distractions that avoid looking at the real problem: their porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

Affluent men may take some classes or attend a long-term reset retreat in another exotic country. They might seek out a specialist or a therapist to help them with their relationship struggles. These men hire elite personal trainers and business coaches to work out problems in these areas. But the entire time they’re distracting themselves from the pornography addiction which is the true cause of the issue.

Overcoming These Barriers

Don’t get me wrong – these barriers don’t imply that affluent men can’t overcome their pornography addiction and out-of-control behavior. Their accumulated wealth and even some of their lifestyles don’t make them any different from other men trying to control their behavior and take back their lives.

If you’re part of the wealthy segment of men who are addicted to pornography, there’s still hope for you, too. It may take some additional work, some hard boundaries, and some space from your current friend group, but you can do it, too. If you’re a man who truly wants to overcome his behavior you’ll find a way to do it.

You can start here by reading some blog posts or watch a few of the videos on our YouTube channel. We also have a podcast available wherever you listen to podcasts and a free Facebook group for men working to control their behavior with porn and masturbation. No matter where you are in your reboot process, you can find support and understanding if you join us there!

The post 4 Barriers to Rebooting For The Wealthy Porn Addict appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

There needs to be a paradigm shift that affects your entire lifestyle.

Porn addiction changes your brain. There’s no denying the severe effects that consuming hundreds of hours of pornography has on your mind. It alters your neurochemical makeup which affects your emotional processing and becomes a hindrance to your growth as a man. 

I want to cover a few self-destructive behaviors that I’ve noticed in men over the years. These are things that lead to consistent relapses and loss of self-esteem. Men who don’t address these behaviors eventually end up in a place where they feel stuck with no motivation to keep going. I want to keep you from ending up here. 

These are some of the self-destructive behaviors that you need to avoid if you want to be successful in your reboot.

Porn Addiction

It may seem silly or self-explanatory to include porn addiction but it’s the most important behavior to avoid. Again, pornography addiction alters your brain. Quitting isn’t as simple as making a few changes, setting some boundaries, and checking in with an accountability partner. If you’re here, you most likely have a full-blown addiction to pornography. 

You might think you’re immune to developing an addiction problem. Maybe you come from a good family or you live in a nice area. You might have a great career and plenty of money in the bank. But if you can’t not only stop watching porn but stay stopped, then you have a serious problem on your hands. 

Eliminating your pornography use is the first thing you need to do before any other measures can help.

Ignorance

Ignorance is the next self-destructive behavior that’s holding you back in your reboot. Most men who try to end their behavior with pornography relapse within the first year. Okay, I’ll admit that’s not an official statistic. But I will say it seems pretty accurate according to the hundreds of emails I receive every week.

There’s a great quote that I appreciate: “In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.” Men who refuse to recognize porn addiction symptoms is a serious problem, who remain willingly ignorant to the reality of their situation, will never overcome their addiction.

I have plenty of information available on my channels alone. Between this blog, my YouTube channel, my podcast, and my free Facebook group, there is so much you can learn. But if you choose to ignore the information available to you and remain ignorant about the truth of pornography addiction, you’ll continue to relapse.

Emotional Dependence

Emotional dependence is another severe self-destructive behavior that affects your reboot. Another word for this is emotional neediness. Needy men never take responsibility for their place in life and are unable to stand on their own two feet. You should never depend on other people to provide you with respect, security, or prestige. 

I’ll give you a quick, simple test to determine whether you’re emotionally dependent. Ask yourself these two questions: 

1. Are your feelings hurt easily in relationships? 
2. Do you consider yourself to be a highly sensitive person?

If you answer yes to either of these, you have some work to do in the emotional dependence department. You allow others to define your reality and your worth when you’re emotionally dependent. You become highly reactive in relationships because you’ve placed the other person on a pedestal and given them power over you. Overcoming your emotional dependence is crucial before you can be successful in your reboot.

Self-Loathing

Self-loathing is one of the most insidious of these self-destructive behaviors. It holds you back not only in your reboot but in every area of your life. Self-loathing keeps you from accomplishing everything that you’re capable of. And whether you realize it or not, you’re capable of a lot. 

Most of us have an idealized image of ourselves that we built up over the years. We believe we should have certain levels of achievement in life by now. There are things we should accomplish by a particular period. And we double down on these expectations as we scroll through social media and see others meeting these milestones.

When you struggle with porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, though, you usually fall short of these ideals. Your expectations and your reality are two different things. As the divide between these grows wider, you begin to question your self-worth. You do not like who you’ve become and the sense of self-loathing sets in.

These assumptions of who you “should” be are false, though. You don’t have to hold yourself to any particular standard. Even if you’re overcoming pornography addiction, it’s not a moral failure on your part. It’s simply the situation that’s developed over time that you now have to work through and overcome.

Seeking Support Along the Way

It’s difficult to overcome these self-destructive behaviors. Looking at these less-than-helpful parts of ourselves is a painful reality check. Other times it’s difficult to even recognize your self-destructive behaviors in the first place. That’s why it’s important that you don’t try to approach your reboot on your own. 

This is the exact reason I created the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. I want every man trying to overcome his porn addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors to have a place where he can find support. If you haven’t joined us already, come check it out. There are no requirements to join other than a drive to leave your behaviors behind.

If you’re looking for some help, come join us today!

The post 4 Self-Destructive Behaviors That Hold You Back appeared first on Elevated Recovery.