I find that the simpler a system is, the more effective it is. So I’ve done extensive work to ensure I eliminate unnecessary steps that distract from the core purpose of the Porn Reboot process: rewiring your brain to eliminate your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The process starts with changing your habits. Habits are a great place to start but they won’t last unless you make them part of your lifestyle. That makes altering your lifestyle the second part of the process. Once you integrate positive habits into your lifestyle, you begin seeing changes in your health, relationships, and mood.

However, to ensure both your habit and lifestyle changes stick, you must address your self-image. If you continue viewing yourself as a man who uses (or used) pornography, you’ll continue struggling with the problem. Eliminating your identity as a man with a porn addiction problems is the crucial final step to the process.

How can you eliminate something that has been such a significant part of your life, though?

What is Self-Image?

Self-image is the way you view, perceive, and define yourself. It’s a generalization of your past experiences that informs how you move through the world. Your self-image influences every area of your life, such as your thinking, motivation, performance, learning abilities, and behaviors to name a few. 

There are five main components of your self-image: 

Value: the sense of your quality of life

Sexual: how you view and think about your body

Significance: how important you are to yourself, to others, and the world

Learning capabilities: understanding that you can learn anything you set your mind to

Influence: realizing you have the control to change your experience

What is your immediate response when I ask you, “Who are you?” Your answer is your self-image. Developing a positive, healthy self-image is crucial for your success in the Porn Reboot program.

Why is Self-Image Important?

Your self-image is important because it feeds your self-esteem. If you appreciate the way you see yourself then you’re going to have higher self-esteem. However, if you don’t like the way you see yourself then you’ll have lower self-esteem. Self-image also influences the choices you make, the ways you behave, and how you respond to certain situations.

Let’s say you see yourself as a man who “can’t help himself” when he sees beautiful women. Whenever you see an attractive girl, you can’t stop thinking about her and picturing her in a sexual manner. You follow this thinking down the rabbit hole and it creates an ongoing cycle.

Truth is, that’s only your self-image. It’s a story you’ve developed over the years and told yourself is true. In reality, you have the power to change this self-image and redirect your thoughts and actions to something else. Most men don’t realize this, though, so understanding the power of self-image is critical for men in the porn addiction recovery – Reboot Program.

How Can You Change Your Self-Image?

You’re not a prisoner to or a victim of your self-image. You can acknowledge and change it whenever you decide to. I have a small exercise you can use to begin shifting your self-image from something negative to something positive. You can implement this practice to help you change your thoughts, actions, and behaviors as a result.

First, I want you to write down how you feel about yourself. Get clear on the ways you think about yourself and write a clear description. Next, think about someone who cares deeply about you, such as your father, mother, brother, sister, nephew, or niece. Write how you think they see you. Imagine looking through their eyes and listening through their ears. What do they value about you and why do they care about you?

Consider the gaps between these two points of view. Your description is likely to be far more critical than your loved one’s description. Now I want you to work on bridging the gap between these two viewpoints. How can you embody the way your loved one sees you? What are some things you can do to break down the walls you’ve built and allow that positive self-image in?

This will help you recognize the importance of your existence. You’re worth far more than you tell yourself you are, and likely not for the reasons you believe. You are more than your job, your income, or your possessions. The people in your life who value you can see who and what you are capable of becoming and trust that you are heading in the right direction.

Again, you are in control of your self-image. You have the power to change your reality. You may have lost touch with it during your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, but you can take it back whenever you choose to. And once you reclaim your power in regards to self-image, brother, you’ll be unstoppable.

The post Self-Image: The Final Step to Quitting Porn Addiction appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Over the years, many brothers asked me something to the effect of, “When you began this journey, J.K., how did you have the confidence to believe you would end your out-of-control behavior? How did you know? It feels like there are so many things standing in my way, like I’ve tried different things but made next to no progress.”

Brothers rattle off a long list of reasons they feel they can’t control their behavior. Lacking willpower. Not having time. Managing a busy career. Caring for a large family. Having no self-respect or self-esteem. Experiencing an insatiable sex drive. Never meeting someone who has successfully overcome their behavior.

I’ve heard just about every excuse in the books yet here I stand before you more than a decade free from my porn addiction. So, what is my secret?

I defined my reboot.

Once I was beaten down to a point I could no longer handle, I knew I was done with porn and masturbation. 

I outlined exactly what I wanted my life to look like. I didn’t consider the ifs, ands, or buts. I didn’t hang out or spend time with anyone who didn’t align with this new vision for my life. I fully dedicated myself to achieving this goal and did everything I could to reach it.

I find this is something that most men who come to the Porn Reboot program have trouble with. I ask them what they want and they can’t clearly define it. Sure, they know they want to overcome their compulsive behavior. They want peace of mind. They want to stop cheating on their partner. They want to live up to their potential. They want to be more focused. But they don’t have a clear definition of what life looks like after that.

That’s like going to the ticket counter at the airport and telling the person at the counter that you want a ticket. They ask where you want a ticket to and all you say is “somewhere warm.” What is that person supposed to do? How can they give you a plane ticket when you can’t define where you want to go?

The same applies to your reboot. You may know that you can’t handle your behavior anymore but you don’t know what life looks like without it. You can’t articulate the end goal. And that’s what separates my experience from yours.

An important part of Porn Reboot is to help you clearly define your reboot. It provides a path for you to control your behavior in 90 days so you can rewire your brain and be free from porn forever. But we don’t dictate how you live your life, we only provide the tools to overcome your behavior. What your life looks like as a rebooted man is up to you. 

So how can you get there if you aren’t sure what it looks like?

I want you to sit down and write out your goal. Define the ultimate goal for your reboot and then consider whether there’s something more. Go through several iterations of it until you outline a very clear definition of what life looks like when you’ve overcome your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

It’s that simple.

Clearly define your reboot, commit to the process, and don’t allow anyone to derail you once you’ve made your decision. Confidence will come from your faith and trust in yourself; you don’t need anyone else to provide it for you. Surround yourself with Porn Reboot brothers when you feel unsure and keep moving forward. It will be the best choice you ever make, brother, I guarantee it.

The post My Secret To Confidently Quitting Porn appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Awareness is one of my favorite topics to discuss. It’s a crucial tool for every person but it’s especially necessary for men recovering from out-of-control behavior with porn addiction problems, sex, and masturbation. Men who struggle with these behaviors are not incapable of controlling them; they’re simply unaware of how much control they truly have.

You’re unaware of the things that motivate you, the pain you experience, the source of your stress, and the impact of your limiting beliefs. You have every faculty necessary to recognize them but you’re not aware of how to access them. Teaching you to develop that awareness is the main part of what the Porn Reboot system does.

What is Awareness?

Awareness is the knowledge or understanding that something is happening. Self-awareness includes the ability to think about your thoughts, emotions, or feelings; to determine whether your behaviors align with your standards; to recognize why you take some actions and avoid others.

There are two main types of awareness. Public self-awareness involves understanding and focusing on how you appear to others. Private self-awareness refers to reflecting on your internal states. Both of these forms of awareness are crucial for being successful in eliminating your Porn Addiction Problems.

Why is Awareness Important?

Developing self-awareness is important because it gives you insight into your beliefs and values so you can determine whether your choices and habits are aligned with them. This knowledge empowers you to see where changes need to be made and to make informed choices. It gives you a direction to go so you can make progress and be successful.

The Benefits of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness involves so many positive benefits that it’s hard to think of reasons why you shouldn’t pursue it. Developing self-awareness not only keeps you in the present moment but it bolsters your emotional intelligence. It deepens your sense of empathy. It improves your listening skills and removes you from your head.

Self-awareness not only improves your internal awareness, though; it brings you outside of yourself, too. Cultivating self-awareness brings to your attention just how much time you spend in your head. It helps you see how removed you’ve been from the world you live in. 

One of the greatest benefits of self-awareness is the sense of confidence you develop. You derive self-confidence from gaining a more thorough understanding of yourself. You move through the world with your head held high because you have more clarity and positive intent. Your communication skills improve, too, which only increases your self-confidence.

How Do You Develop Self-Awareness?

Journaling is one of the most effective and quickest ways to become more self-aware. Write down your thoughts, emotions, and plans. Work through your mental stumbling blocks on paper. Once you start writing things down, you can track your progress over time to see what works and what doesn’t.

Meditation is another practice that helps you develop self-awareness. It doesn’t have to be as difficult as you may think, either. Too many people have false ideas of what meditation means. Sure, sitting on a cushion and remaining silent for hours of reflection is meditation. But you can also meditate while lying in bed, while sitting on your couch, or even while on your daily commute.

Meditation means developing mindfulness of your surroundings. It means bringing yourself into the moment so you can fully experience what is happening around you and identify how you respond to these things.

Here is an easy introduction practice to meditation. Start by closing your eyes right now and think of three things happening around you or within you. For example, focus on how your feet feel on the ground or your back on the chair. Pay attention to the sensations in your hands or on your face. Identify thoughts that cross your mind. Listen to the sounds in your environment. 

Pull three of these things to the front of your mind and focus on them. Recognize the responses you have to them. Don’t attach yourself to them, simply observe. Once you can hold three things at a time, add three more. Begin opening your awareness a bit at a time. Then bring more things into your consciousness as you progress.

Another important way to develop self-awareness is to reach out for help and support. Surround yourself with brothers in the Porn Reboot program who understand what you’re going through. Ask for guidance when you find yourself stuck. Seek out the experiences of other men who have been where you are now.

One of the best places to find this is in the Free Porn Reboot Facebook group. It’s filled with men at various stages of their reboot who know what you’re going through and are working through the same struggles. You never have to deal with your out-of-control behavior alone again; we’re here to help.

The post What Is Awareness While Quitting Porn? appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

I know that it might sound strange coming from a man who built his life around helping other men end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But there are some other things you must consider when quitting porn, too.

I don’t emphasize those things immediately because most brothers arrive at the Porn Reboot program with skewed priorities. They believe that their porn use and compulsive sexual behavior are what causes all of their problems. Sure, these things are likely the primary problems in a man’s life when he finds Porn Reboot. But overcoming these problems requires more than just focusing on his behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The three things more important than quitting porn are finances, fitness, and your relationships with women. You can eliminate porn addiction problems from your life but if you don’t address these three things then you’ll still find yourself struggling. Quitting porn doesn’t rewire your brain. Working on these three aspects of life is what kicks off and continues the reboot process.

How does each of these aspects play into your reboot?

Finances

I’m sure you know the timeless phrase, “Money can’t buy happiness.” While there’s some truth to that statement, there’s also a lot of nonsense about it. Money can’t buy happiness but you do need it to have a life that’s worth living. You can’t shuck off money completely and pretend like it has no use.

You need enough money to cover your basic needs and also enough surplus to get some of the things you want. Money is the thing that allows you freedom. It gets you out of situations and circumstances you may have grown up in, or those you found yourself in after years of porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

Regardless of the reasons, getting your finances in order must be a priority. You need money to build a life worth living after ending your out-of-control behavior. From bills to food to hobbies to dates, money is a necessity for a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Fitness

Your health and fitness are another crucial part of a fulfilling reboot. You can take control of your fitness long before gaining control over your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Getting in shape is an automatic way to boost your confidence and begin building self-esteem.

Fitness was the first thing  I prioritized when I decided to take the steps to end my out-of-control behavior once and for all. I was six feet tall but weighed maybe 130 pounds at most. I looked pathetic and that was reflected in the way I carried myself. Lifting weights was the first thing I did to begin my reboot process.

I put on some significant size within that first year and have continued prioritizing the gym ever since. The impact on my confidence was immediate and only grew with time. I highly recommend prioritizing your health and fitness as you begin the reboot process. The effects are noticeable even if you continue struggling with your compulsive sexual behavior.

Relationships with Women

Your relationships with women are the third thing that is just as important, if not more important, than quitting porn. Porn addiction problem destroys your ability to connect with a woman, build a fulfilling relationship, and develop intimacy. It makes you view women as objects instead of actual people.

While struggling with your porn use will hold you back from building these relationships, you can still begin the process. Learning to develop these relationships starts with learning to be social again. You’ve likely withdrawn from friends and social events in general over the years. You need to spend time with your buddies and get back out into the world.

Start striking up conversations with women when you’re out with your friends. Try to detach from the inevitable end goal of getting with her and just try to hold a conversation. Ask her questions, ask more questions about her answers, and see how long you can talk with her. All it takes to build relationships is learning to listen and have a conversation instead of talking at people without waiting for their input.

Quitting Porn Over Time

Ultimately, quitting porn is the goal you want to remember. Finances, fitness, and building relationships with women are all important parts of the process. However, if you don’t end your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, not much of it will be useful in the long run.

However, the less you focus only on quitting porn, and the more you focus on these other aspects, the more successful you will be. You’ll find yourself building a life worth living, one that doesn’t require you to retreat into a world of compulsive masturbation and porn use.

The Porn Reboot system is crucial for helping you develop the necessary tools and skills. Over time, you’ll build a foundation for lasting porn addiction recovery from your out-of-control behavior. If you commit to the Porn Reboot process today, I guarantee your life will be unrecognizable in two years. You have everything it takes to end your behavior, brother; all you need to do is take that first step.

The post 3 Things More Important Than Quitting Porn appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

Anyone who has been around the Porn Reboot program for a while knows how I feel about counting days. Still, some men hold onto their streaks as though they’re a helpful or meaningful approach to overcoming out-of-control behavior.

After nearly 15 years of working with men trying to end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, though, I know this tactic doesn’t work. Counting days only builds expectations and apathy. Expectations for what your life “should” look like after a certain point and apathy when that time arrives and it doesn’t look that way at all. Counting days is an arbitrary marker that offers no meaningful insight into progress. 

Consider a couple that has been married for 40 years. Sure, from the outside looking in it may seem like they have all the answers. After all, they’ve stayed together this long, right? But what if their marriage isn’t a happy one? They may have amassed a few decades alongside one another but that doesn’t mean their marriage is successful. 

Or take a man with a 20-year career making six figures per year. You would assume that after all this time he has an incredible savings account, a hefty investment portfolio, and can retire comfortably. However, if he’s done nothing to be intentional with his money, he’ll be far worse off than you might think. Many men with decades of six-figure incomes have nothing to show for them.

The same applies to counting porn-free days. You can collect days, weeks, months, or years, but they’re worthless if you do nothing to better yourself. There’s a reason the Porn Reboot system is more intensive than other approaches; we provide you with a path to a fulfilling life. 

You’ll gain nothing from quitting porn without taking any steps to better yourself in other areas. Quitting porn does not automatically bolster your social life, broaden your career opportunities, or strengthen your relationships. All it does is provide you with more free time that was once occupied by countless tabs and endless videos.

What will you do with all of that time?

Defeating apathy while quitting porn requires intention. You can’t stop porn addiction problems and expect your life to get better without putting in any work. Counting days does nothing to bring about change. You have to put in the work to shift your perspective and build the life you want to live. 

This intentional approach is one of the first steps to overcoming the sense of apathy that settles in after you quit porn. And it doesn’t happen immediately. You can’t expect to join the Porn Reboot program and notice a difference by next Wednesday. You have to commit to the process and trust that you’ll find freedom, much like other men who have come before you.

It may seem impossible to escape your sense of apathy but I promise there’s a solution. It might take time to relinquish your old thought patterns and embrace this new way of thinking, but the time it takes will be worth it. You’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish in only a few short months of intentional practice. And if you’re going to quit porn anyways, why not do it in a way that offers the most promising outcome?

The post Defeating Apathy While Quitting Porn appeared first on Elevated Recovery.

A system is a set of actions to follow that generates predictable and improved results. I follow systems in each area of my life, from my reboot to my work and even my spirituality. I prefer knowing that I’m heading in the right direction and I believe systems are the best way to get there.

I recently developed an acronym that I like:

• Something
• You
• Stick
• To
• Emphatically (and)
• Methodically

If you stick to something emphatically and methodically, chances are it will lead to a predictable outcome. Developing a system was a game-changer during my early reboot. I had to do a lot of guessing and checking because I didn’t know anyone before me who ended their out-of-control behavior, but it led to the successful Porn Reboot system we all follow today.

Chances are, if you’re anything like me, you’ve thrown a lot of willpower at your porn problem up to this point. You’ve tried tons of ways to end your behavior yet you’re still in the same place you started, or maybe an even worse one. I was stuck in the willpower cycle for years convinced I was making a difference but accomplishing nothing.

It wasn’t successful until I created an intentional system of actions that worked with my biology instead of against it. Until that point, I was edging, drinking to the point of inebriation, hitting the snooze button, skipping my morning routines, bailing on the gym, and more. This led to stress, caffeinated overstimulation, crashing in the evenings, and a lot of wasted time.

So, how do you implement a system in your life? Just because you have access to a porn addiction recovery system doesn’t mean you’re going to stick to it. What can you do to ensure you do what it takes to apply a system to your life? And what are the benefits of doing so?

How to Incorporate a System

Start small. Pick one thing you’re going to do without fail that will be negotiated with anyone. Not your wife, not your children, not your friends, not your boss, and especially not yourself. Determine which aspect of the Porn Addiction Recovery Reboot system will be the first thing you adhere to without fail.

This might be your morning routine, getting on a call with your Porn Reboot coach, or going to the gym. Pick one thing that you will do regardless of any excuses that come up. Decide now that you will not let anything derail you from this one non-negotiable and then follow through on it.

Set up your days and weeks to make sure you have enough time to commit to your non-negotiable. It should be something small enough that you won’t talk yourself out of it but significant enough that it provides a positive result when you do it.

Meditation was my first non-negotiable. I spent many years before that half-heartedly meditating. I would practice here and there but was never consistent. So I decided that committing to a meditation routine would be my first change.

After you consistently commit to your non-negotiables for a few weeks, add another one into the mix and stick with it for another few weeks. Now you’ll find yourself committed to two beneficial practices. Although you couldn’t stick to anything a month or two ago, now you’ll find yourself consistent with two positive things.

This is how you start to implement a system. Continue adding new non-negotiables as you successfully stick to your previous ones. It gets easier to take on more as you become accustomed to it and notice the benefits they bring.

Benefits of Sticking to a System

I wouldn’t recommend implementing a system in your life if I didn’t think there were any positives. I’ve experienced so many good things that came from my adherence to a system. I’ve also watched those things happen in the lives of the men I’ve helped through the Porn Addiction Counseling Reboot program. What are some of these benefits?

Relapse Prevention

Instead of relying on your willpower to keep you from slipping, a system provides clear-cut instructions to prevent porn addiction relapse. You always have at least a few actions you can take when you notice temptation rising. You also have a set of behaviors you adhere to that keep those temptations at bay to begin with.

Letting Go of Reliance on Willpower

Don’t get me wrong – there is still some need for willpower when it comes to implementing a system. You have to take initiative; no one will come in and do the work for you. However, the difference is you’re not throwing willpower at the problem with no result. You’re using it to work with you as you implement healthy habits instead.

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

One of the best parts of the Porn Reboot system in particular is it keeps you from handling your struggles alone. You’ll find yourself surrounded by a group of men who understand what you’re going through. They’ve been where you are and know the way out. And eventually, you’ll be the man helping others out of the place you’re in now.

Join the Porn Reboot System

It should be more than clear by now why you need a system to overcome your compulsive behavior with porn addiction, sex, and masturbation. You’ve probably tried at least a few things with no success already. Why not implement something that’s proven to work? The Porn Reboot program has helped men overcome their out-of-control behavior for more than a decade. Come join us in the FREE Porn Reboot Facebook group and get started today!

The post The Benefit of Systems for Quitting Porn appeared first on Elevated Recovery.