January 7, 2021

How long have you been off pornography now?

Regular listeners and readers here know that I’m big on counting days in your reboot. I don’t recommend that you keep a strict count of how many days you’ve stayed off pornography. It’s still a sign that pornography is controlling your life and we’re moving away from that with the Porn Reboot system.

You do have some idea of how long you’ve been at it, though. Maybe it’s been a few weeks or a couple of months. Do you find yourself reaching this point and slipping, though? This early reboot period is always the most challenging. It’s difficult to stay away from your behaviors when you’ve only been off them for a short amount of time.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything but you’re still slipping, this post is for you. I’m going to talk about 4 things you need to avoid early on in your reboot. I suggest writing these down and sticking them on your mirror. They’re practical, actionable things you can start doing right now.

1. Don’t stop planning

Rebooting requires a plan. You didn’t just wake up one morning and suddenly decide you weren’t going to watch pornography anymore. It wasn’t a random decision to quit. You finally told yourself you’d had enough, made a plan to stop, and stuck closely to that plan during the first few weeks.

After a little while, you might feel like you can let off the gas a bit. But men who buy into this idea usually find themselves slipping. Wavering from your original plan means you’ve lost sight of why you quit in the first place. 

I see this a lot with men who commit to a 90-day period. They’re fully invested in staying away for those three months they committed to. Once they pass that three-month period, though, they immediately go back to what they were doing. There was no plan after that 90-day mark.

You must keep planning if you want to maintain your reboot. You’re going to feel happier, more focused, and more energized the longer you stick with it. If you want to keep your reboot going, though, you can’t stop planning.

2. Don’t forget the price you paid

It’s easy to lose sight of the desperation you felt when you first quit. The further you get from that feeling, the easier it is to forget the price you paid for your addiction. You might find yourself daydreaming about the “good old days” when you could unwind with a drink at the strip club or scrolling through a porn site. 

There’s a reason you made the decision to quit watching pornography, though.

Once you start doing this you’re mentally investing in your old life. If you keep investing in your old life, you’re never going to move forward. You’ll keep slipping over and over until you remove those rose-tinted glasses. You have a wonderful chance at a new life, though, if you remember the price you paid to get here. 

3. Don’t get too attached to the past

Change is hard. Whether you’ve been off pornography for three weeks, three months, or three years, the change will always be somewhat difficult. Committing to lasting, transformative change requires incredible investment and focus. You have to make decisions that contribute to your new way of life.

Every man finds themselves looking back at past memories from time to time. You can take a quick glance but don’t stay there for too long. Don’t get too attached to the past. There’s nothing back there that’s better than the new way of life you have today. You’re far better off with what you have now than anything you left behind you.

4. Don’t get too invested in the highs

Most men who struggle with an out-of-control behavior love adventure. We like the extreme, we live for intensity. It’s the reason most of us take the risks that we do, why we find pleasure in the things we enjoy. We enjoy the rush that comes with the choices we make. When you live a life full of highs, though, the lows are inevitable. The crash always follows.

Maintaining your reboot requires consistency. You develop a routine that works for you but that usually means removing a lot of the things that led to highs before. You’re not drinking as much as you used to, you’re going to bed earlier than before, you’re probably not hanging out with the same people as often. There aren’t the insane highs you’re used to experiencing.

At the same time, you’re also eliminating the lows. You’re removing the crash that follows those extreme moments. And by removing those crashes, you’re limiting the temptation to slip. You’re learning to control your emotional state which will help you make it through the early period of your reboot.

There’s nothing wrong with exciting times but you want to avoid investing in them. The instant gratification you were used to before doesn’t serve you today. It’s not going to help you stick to your reboot. Writing down and committing yourself to these 4 tips will, though. Rebooting is a long, committed process but it’s possible. Leading a consistent life is one of the main ways you can do it.