As I promised you earlier this week, this blog post is going to be the first in a series on the stages of the Porn Reboot system.
I’m going to break each stage down into separate blog posts over the next few days. Consider it a quick summary of the Porn Reboot program to help kickstart or refresh your reboot. You can find the next stages here:
The first stage of the system is what I call the “pre-reboot.” You’ve found our system and started checking out some of what we offer. You start reading some blog posts, watching a few YouTube videos, or browsing through our podcast episodes.
Maybe you’re communicating with me or one of our Reboot Strategists to see if you’re a good fit for the Porn Reboot program. But you haven’t fully committed to the system and you haven’t yet implemented it in your life.
Stage 1 starts here. It’s the point where you haven’t started the actual reboot process but you’re taking the first steps toward finally controlling your behavior.
The Keys to Success for Stage 1
I like to look at Stage 1 with three simple goals in mind:
- Start to recognize your compulsive behavior
- Agree to learn how to control your behavior
- Manage your withdrawal symptoms and the crises that brought you in
To accomplish these goals, there are a few things you need: hope, trust, and allowing others to help you. It’s okay if these things don’t come naturally to you. Most men arrive at the Porn Reboot program feeling isolated but self-sufficient, insisting they can handle things alone. But if you want to beat your out-of-control behavior, you’re going to need some help.
Hope is the first key to success. Without hope, why would you even bother trying the system out? You have to hope and believe that the Porn Reboot system can work in your life and help you end your out-of-control behavior.
I share plenty of success stories across my various channels, talking about men just like you who never believed they could control their behavior. Start by watching, reading, and listening to some of these stories. Hearing the real struggles from other men should set you on the path to realizing that you can reboot, too.
Allowing others to help and support you is the next key to success. You probably haven’t told anyone about your out-of-control behavior yet. If you have, you’ve kept it to a close friend or two who you know won’t judge you. But you need to allow a wider range of people in to support you through your reboot process.
Before I started my reboot, I thought I was the only man dealing with this problem for so many years. I carried so much shame and guilt for not being able to control my sexual behavior. Now imagine my relief when I finally discovered how many other men struggled with the same problem, too. I no longer felt strange or weird; I was surrounded by men who understood.
I understand how challenging it is to allow people to help you at first. I didn’t want to let anyone in when I first started. We’re used to handling things on our own and solving our problems on our own. But you’re not going to be able to deal with this problem alone. You can’t progress past Stage 1 until you allow others to help you.
Finally, trust is the key that ties everything together. You need to trust that a system can work for you and trust in your brothers who are here to help you along the way. You don’t need to start the program with full faith and trust but I ensure you it will settle in as you make progress. No one here in the Porn Reboot group has to do this alone. We support one another through the process and we’re here to support you, too.
Once you’ve completed Stage 1, it’s time to move on to Stage 2.
