You know what’s frustrating?
Think about a time you’ve seen a very clear path to changing something in your life. You understand it logically, see it in a very rational sense, and take action to make that change. You’re certain that you’re going to accomplish your goal, yet somehow you find yourself unable to accomplish it.
You look around you and it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything to sabotage yourself. But you just can’t seem to put your finger on what it is that’s keeping you from making the change you want to make, despite seeing things very clearly.
Over the years I’ve found that the thing holding you back might be your opinions and beliefs. The opinions you have of yourself and the beliefs you carry affect your self-image which, in turn, affects every attempt at making a lasting change in your life.
These opinions and beliefs can become a self-imposed prison, especially when you’re unaware of them. And that’s the keyword right there: unaware. This lack of awareness is the reason why a lot of men feel like they’re banging their heads against the wall; they have no idea that the wall is right there in front of them.
I dealt with this for years. I surrounded myself with ambitious, high-performing men with big goals. They put in the work to accomplish the things they set out to do but I still struggled. I was part of the right community, put in the hours, read the books, learned, and studied, yet I couldn’t keep up. I had plenty of goals but was stressed and overwhelmed all the time.
That constant state of being stressed and overwhelmed became my way of life. Meanwhile, I was working alongside men who worked careers and juggled things in their life that felt far more challenging than what I was doing.
I thought I was a big deal for putting in all these hours and accomplishing all these things in my mid-twenties. But then I met men who were doing all that and more, while also caring for a family. These men also had responsibilities to their communities, the church, or their extended families, but they were still killing it in their careers. They had great bodies, they had hobbies, they conversed well. I couldn’t figure out what it was that separated me from them.
It wasn’t until I changed my outlook on those feelings that I finally made the shift. Instead of seeing myself as stressed and overwhelmed, I started telling myself that I was focused, I found these things easy to accomplish, and that I could do it. It didn’t matter how great the men were around me–I wasn’t going to change until I changed those weak beliefs and opinions of myself.
A lot of men arrive at the Porn Reboot group thinking they can change their behavior if they have the right information. They think that they just haven’t found the right system or approach yet and they’ll make the change as soon as they do. But when these men have weak beliefs and poor opinions about themselves, it’s not going to work.
If you’re stuck in the same cycle you’ve been in for a few weeks or months, it’s time to examine your beliefs. There’s plenty of information about overcoming pornography addiction online. I’ve got hundreds of hours of videos and podcasts available on my channels alone. But information is only going to get you so far.
When I talk with men as they’re first starting, I often find out they spend about 80% of their time on gathering information and 20% of their time on implementation. You need to flip those percentages immediately. Until you dive deeper into your problematic opinions and beliefs and take some action, you’re going to unconsciously stay in the same never-ending information loop.
Your success depends on your ability to implement the endless information available to you and change your opinions and beliefs. So it’s time to ask yourself, what is holding you back from taking action and transforming your life? What are you telling yourself? What beliefs shape your identity and self-image? And are these things helping you or holding you back?
If they’re holding you back, it’s time to shift those beliefs. Spend some time in self-reflection, write in your journal, and then reach out to a brother in the group. Speak with someone who understands where you’re coming from and ask what they did to change it. Ask for their outside input and see if there’s something you overlooked.
It’s time to take your reboot to the next stage. You’re going to notice a difference when you push back against your beliefs. You’ll finally be out of your way and start progressing faster than you thought possible.