Spirituality is a cornerstone in the lives of plenty of men in the Porn Reboot group.

I have guys in the group who consume lots of books on spirituality, who have a regular meditation practice, who have studied under spiritual teachers, who have even lived in different ashrams around the world.

There’s also the crowd who favors plant medicine, things like ayahuasca, peyote, or psilocybin. They’ve participated in various experiences with drugs that have led to spiritual insights and deepened their connection with the world around them. 

At the same time, all of these men are still in the group. They have arrived at using the Porn Reboot system to control their out-of-control behavior. Sure, plenty of them have spiritual practices but those practices weren’t enough to help them control their sexual behavior.

My Experience with Spirituality

My spiritual journey started when I was 17 years old. I was living in Malaysia and going to college then. That was where my introduction to spirituality began. I started a yoga practice that focused on balancing my chakras and the meditative aspect of yoga.

My spiritual pursuit continued once I moved to the U.S. I found a Vipassana yoga center here and joined. I went on a bunch of 10-day meditation retreats. I read a ton of Osho, probably most of his collected works and his discourses as well.

Do you know what it did though? Not much. My out-of-control behavior didn’t stop. I had read dozens of spiritual books and I was meditating regularly but my behavior was escalating. Over that period my life did not change drastically at all. I incorporated plenty of spiritual practices but they couldn’t keep me from acting out.

Two Things You’re Missing

From what I gather when talking with brothers in the group, most have the same experience. There are a lot of brothers who consider themselves spiritual yet are still unhappy and stuck acting on their out-of-control behavior.

The reality seems to be that no matter how much spiritual material you consume, it won’t make a difference with your behavior. Spirituality isn’t a magic pill that solves your porn problem. It’s not that spirituality is inherently useless but it’s that you have a problem that spirituality isn’t going to solve.

You Need to Experience Change

I’m not talking about reading spiritual books, I’m not talking about watching meditation videos, and I’m not talking about listening to podcasts from spiritual gurus. You can consume all the spiritual content in the world but none of it is going to help you quit porn.

I’m also not talking about hallucinogenic experiences. I don’t believe your ayahuasca or psilocybin trips are enough to enact the change you need to undergo. They provide you with insights into the problems you have and point you in the direction of what you need to work on, but that’s it.

You need to experience an actionable change in your life. I mean your actual practices in your daily life. I’m talking about the things you do each day that add up over time and lead to a lasting change, not a quick hit of spirituality that you get from listening to a spiritual teacher’s talk or micro-dosing mushrooms.

You Need to Live in This World

I notice highly spiritual men run up against all sorts of existential conflicts. Their pursuit of spirituality leaves them with deep questions like, “Should I keep my job?” or “Should I stay in the rat race?” While at the same time they’re trapped in the cycle of porn addiction.

Your physical body exists in the physical world. Your consciousness exists on another plane we still don’t know much about. But you live here. Your primary experience is a physical one. Spiritually-inclined men are going to be concerned with the aspects of consciousness that we cannot see, but you still exist here in the physical plane.

You need to get your life together in this world. You have responsibilities in the physical world that no amount of work in the spiritual world can touch. You still need a roof over your head, you still have needs to meet, you still have people to take care of. If you’re living in this world you have a responsibility to give back to it.

Straighten Out Materially, Straighten Out Spiritually

Men wrapped up in spiritual practices have themselves convinced they need to relinquish the hold this world has on them. They’re set on giving up material things and waiting for happiness to find them through spirituality.

Here’s the thing. Pursuing certain material aspects is part of life. You need to be able to support yourself and be at least mildly comfortable in a material sense. When you’re comfortable you can more easily focus on your spiritual practices.

At the same time, you can’t dump all your attention into acquiring material objects. Material items do only bring temporary joy and excitement. Once the newness of something wears off, though, you’re left with the same feelings you had before.

Part of living a full life includes balancing these two paths: material and spiritual. Make sure your basic needs are met as you focus on your spiritual pursuits. Don’t lose sight of your spiritual pursuits as you gain more in the material world.

Helping others is a great way that I stay connected between these two things. I have enough set up in the material world to give me the freedom to pursue the spiritual practices that I prefer. You want to seek a similar balance in your own life.

Until you straighten out materially (including controlling your sexual behavior), you won’t straighten out spiritually. Once you’re aligned in the material world, your pursuits in the spiritual world will be all the more fulfilling.