Are you familiar with the concept of self-efficacy?
Self-efficacy is not only an important part of your reboot, but in your life as a whole. It refers to the set of beliefs you carry that determine how well you can take the course of action needed to deal with any situation. When you have a strong sense of self-efficacy, you can take on whatever they find themselves facing.
Men in the first phases of the Porn Reboot program tend to lack self-efficacy in regards to their out-of-control behavior. They may be high performers in other areas of their lives but they can’t seem to apply that same drive to their behavior.
Your out-of-control behavior affects many different aspects related to your sense of self-efficacy. For example, isolation, repeated failures, and negative childhood experiences leave you feeling incapable of handling situations. Of course, you’re going to have a limited sense of self-efficacy when you’re constantly struggling with these things.
How is Your Self-Efficacy Doing?
There are a few things you can check for in yourself to determine how your self-efficacy is doing. I’ve found three characteristics that men with low self-efficacy display in their lives:
- Living in a negative environment
- Dealing with depression
- Feeling a lack of control
How does each of these contribute to low self-efficacy?
Living In a Negative Environment
Living in a negative environment leaves you feeling terrible day in and day out. If you work a job you hate or you can’t stand your partner, you’re going to feel terrible all the time. When you’re surrounded by a negative environment you end up stuck in a negative cycle that you can’t escape from.
Dealing With Depression
Depression is a common thing for men who have a low sense of self-efficacy. Whether it’s situational or clinical, depression keeps you from achieving the things you’re capable of. It contributes to negative self-talk and holds you back from developing a strong sense of self-efficacy.
Feeling a Lack of Control
When you feel an overall lack of control in your life, you’re going to struggle with feeling like you can handle the situations you’re facing. You can’t alter the outcome so how would anything you do even make a difference? Men with a low sense of self-efficacy tend to feel an overall lack of control in their lives.
Rebuilding Your Sense of Self-Efficacy
The good news is you can develop your sense of self-efficacy. There are things you can do to cultivate it as you work through your reboot. What are some things you can implement to rebuild this attribute?
Learn From Others Around You
Start by modeling the people around you. There should be at least one person in your life that you can look to for guidance. Surround yourself with people who have a strong sense of self-efficacy and adopt their habits and behaviors.
When I was struggling at my door-to-door sales job, I went out with the highest performer in our company one day. I shadowed him for a full day at work and even spent the night before at his place to watch his habits. This guy was a practicing Christian who woke up early in the morning, prayed, and read a few verses to get himself in the right mindset.
He was incredibly organized and methodical in his approach to work. He let rejection roll off his back and didn’t get emotionally attached to the outcome. He had a sense of urgency in his work and didn’t waste time. He just kept moving from home to home without getting down when someone declined his offer. I mirrored his behavior at work and found my productivity shot through the roof.
The same thing applies to your reboot. Look to successful members of the Porn Reboot group or men who have overcome their out-of-control behaviors. Model the things they do and you’ll find that your sense of self-efficacy develops as time passes.
Listen to Feedback
Constructive criticism is a great thing. Learning to take constructive criticism is even better. It’s not uncommon for men to feel defensive when someone offers an alternative approach. If you get defensive whenever this happens, though, you’re never going to grow.
Listen to feedback from the people around you and you’ll find your self-efficacy skyrocketing in no time. There are dozens of men in the Porn Reboot group who can offer insight and input on your reboot approach. Taking their feedback and applying it to your life will make a huge difference.
These men know where you’re coming from and understand how you feel. They’ve been where you are and found a way to develop their own sense of self-efficacy. They have a deeper knowledge of your problem than anyone else in your life and can help you with your problem. The more open you are to feedback, the better you’ll become.
Surround Yourself With Community
Community is one of the most important ways you can build self-efficacy. They’ll hold you accountable, offer feedback, and build you up when you need it. The Porn Reboot Facebook group is a great place to find a community of men who understand the darkness of porn addiction and can help you escape it.
Building self-efficacy through community can make a massive difference in your life. Don’t try to handle overcoming your behavior on your own. Join us in the group today and let us know how we can help you!
