Wondering how you can measure progress on your pathway to recovery from porn addiction?

Whether you’ve struggled with porn and sex addiction for decades, years, or even just a few months, you’re not alone. I’m here to help you discover the pathway to a life free from the chains of pornography addiction. 

You can escape from the trap of porn addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors, too. I built the Porn Reboot system using my own experience because I want to help other men. Hundreds of men who reach out want to know what the system is like and how it’s broken down. 

After thinking about it, I realized that a hierarchy model is one of the best ways to explain the program.

Are you familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

It’s that pyramid you might have learned about in school, the psychological theory outlining basic human needs. At the bottom, you have your most basic needs: air, water, food, shelter, and the like. They’re your survival needs.

Next are your safety needs. These are the ways you need to be able to take care of yourself, including security, finances, health, and resources. Then, you have the need for belongingness. Everyone needs to be part of a group of some type, whether it’s a community or a family.

Now we’re getting closer to the top of the pyramid. You have the need for self-esteem, respect, status, and recognition. These are things that you do that give you a sense of pride and the feeling of contributing to a greater purpose. 

Finally, self-actualization is the top of the pyramid. This is your ultimate form of personal fulfillment in the world. It’s the drive to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Your path to freedom from pornography addiction follows along similar lines. I created this five-step hierarchy to the Porn Reboot.

 

First Step: Physically and Mentally Letting Go of Pornography

 

The first thing that you want to work on is physically and mentally letting go of pornography and compulsive sexual behavior. This means making the decision that you’re going to release your need for porn and casual, compulsive sex. But, how do you do that?

You’ll want to start with setting boundaries. These boundaries might look a little different for everyone depending on your specific case. 

Maybe you need to delete the gigabytes or terabytes of pornography stored on your hard drive. 

It might be letting go of all those dating apps. When you’re trapped in out of control sexual behavior, dating apps can be huge triggers. 

Perhaps it’s setting up strong boundaries with social media. Twitter is teeming with porn and even Instagram can lead to a relapse if you’re following certain accounts.

You need to realize that you can’t make progress when pornography and compulsive sex controls your life. This carries over into other important parts of your life, too. If you don’t physically set boundaries, you can’t mentally prepare yourself to move forward.

 

Second Step: Staying Off Pornography

 

The next step is staying off pornography and away from compulsive sex. Why do you do this? You need to give your brain some time to get used to living without the overwhelming stimulation. 

If you’ve been struggling with these things, you’re most likely using them to self-medicate. These behaviors can help you numb strong emotions or distract yourself from some unresolved conflict. 

You also want to give yourself time to change your self-image. Too many men stay abstinent using willpower but don’t use that time to change. They focus more on avoiding their behaviors instead of bettering themselves.

Using the Porn Reboot system equips you with strategies and skills to replace your behaviors during that time, you’re not only staying off pornography and away from casual sex but making yourself into a better man. It shows you that you are a man who can live without these distractions. 

Men who use the system, even if they slip a couple of times in the first 90 days, still have a stronger self-image than the men who had been completely abstinent. Why? Because, they were actually using their time to develop new tools.

 

Third Step: Being Part of a Group

 

The third step is being part of a group. Just like Maslow’s Hierarchy of needing to feel part of a community, a tribe, or a family. In the case of the Porn Reboot system, though, you want to be part of a specific group with similar goals and values. If you’re part of a group that doesn’t share the same struggles, it’ll be harder to relate. 

Our group is made up of men who are all on a common path of recovery from porn and sex addiction. They want to stay off pornography, improve their finances, improve their health, and be happy. We talk about our goals and how our behaviors negatively affect what we want from our lives.

Joining a group of men who understand what you’re going through is important. You’re more likely to succeed when you’re surrounded by a group that not only shares similar goals but similar struggles as you. 

 

Fourth Step: Accepting Who You Are Becoming

 

The next level of the reboot hierarchy is accepting who you are becoming. Once you’re through the first three levels, you’re now becoming a new man. You’ve started changing into a newer, better version of yourself.

You’ll start realizing you’re going to bed earlier. Now you’re in bed by 9 or 10 o’clock instead of staying up until 2:00 AM 3:00 AM chatting with women online or acting out. You’re making healthier choices in terms of diet. Going to the gym and getting exercise is now a priority.

You have to start accepting that you are becoming a new person. You’re also going to come up against some resistance. People are still going to be concerned with things that no longer interest you. Celebrity scandals and pointless gossip aren’t on your radar anymore.

We also have guys in our program who loved to drink but have shifted to drinking in moderation. Heavy drinking isn’t going to contribute to your new lifestyle. If you have to go to a party, you can still drink but try to stick to a two-drink maximum.

It’s not an easy task at first. As you start accepting who you are, though, you also start accepting the positive things that are happening. You start realizing that you’re not acting out the way you used to. You’re above things that you used to obsess over. Your journey in life has shifted in a more positive direction.

 

Fifth Step: Fulfilling Your Wants and Needs

 

The final stage is fulfilling your wants and needs. You start looking toward personal fulfillment. What makes you happy and what do you want to do with your life? 

Many men have a lot of dreams that fall to the wayside over the years of compulsive sexual behaviors. Your self-image feels crushed after a while. You have all these secrets and lies that you’ve been hiding behind and you have so much shame. Then that shame prevented you from stepping up and being the best man that you could be.

Those failed attempts to quit porn and other behaviors over the years end up leaking into other areas of your life. You might develop the belief that you don’t have what it takes to win. But now that you’re stacking up wins and shifting your path in life, now that you’re in control of your behavior, you can see it. 

Now you are around other successful men who prioritize controlling their sexual behavior, who prioritize their health, their families who have powerful, strong, positive beliefs, and who all accept themselves. You’re part of a strong group of men who have overcome their compulsions.

You’re a good person who just did some bad things and that’s okay because you’re still alive. And as long as you’re alive, you’re breathing. And, there’s a future in front of you that you can go into, or even in this present moment, then you can change the way your life turns out.

You’re now at a place where you can start looking at all the things in your past that you really wanted to do that will truly bring you happiness. You can do anything you want to do. You really can. You just have to find a way to do it. If you’re willing to make some sacrifices, you’re able to do anything you want to do with your life.

Maybe there were some goals you wanted to pursue but now you think you can’t because you’re married and have kids. That’s no longer the case! You’ve dealt with your main issues; nothing is stopping you from taking your wife and your kids to travel with you.

You might realize you’ve been stuck in a dead-end relationship and make the changes to get out. Maybe you’ve spent years away from the dating scene, but can now start getting into the game again. 

Once you have dealt with all the other issues that are holding you back, you can live that life. After you’ve taken a clear look at the unresolved issues you medicated with out of control sexual behavior, you step into your power. You’ve reached the top of the hierarchy and your life is in your hands.