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Elevate Your Reboot: Mastering Physical Reboot Capital

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
Elevate Your Reboot: Mastering Physical Reboot Capital

Today is the final day of our small series on the concept of reboot capital. Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

  • Spiritual
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Social

The final part of our reboot capital series is about physical reboot capital. Physical reboot capital refers to your brain and your body. Spending years trapped in a cycle of porn addiction takes an incredible toll on your physical wellbeing. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep often fall to the wayside in favor of acting out in your behaviors.

When you first arrive at the Porn Reboot program, your biological functioning is worn out. It’s no wonder you feel awful when you first decide to quit your compulsive behaviors. You’ve overloaded your brain with dopamine and deprived your body of the things it needs to perform well. You need a massive physical overhaul. This is where building physical reboot capital becomes a necessity. 

Exercise

The first step to optimizing your physical well-being by building reboot capital is through physical activity. Moving your body is a vital part of your physical and mental health. In the beginning, you should aim for 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. The type of exercise doesn’t matter as much as the simple act of movement. Some ways to get started include:

  • Walking
  • Running
  • Weightlifting
  • Swimming
  • Yoga
  • Hiking

You might not be interested in physical activity, brother, but it’s crucial for your porn addiction recovery – Reboot Program. It’s a very serious priority in my life. Exercise enhances your brain and body’s abilities. It improves functioning, increases focus, decreases negative emotions, and more. Remember, you’re rewiring your brain. Physical exercise is the perfect way to naturally kick-start the process.

Once you build the habit of exercising for 30 minutes each day, start increasing the amount of time. Change up the forms of exercise you incorporate. I prefer weightlifting and some endurance exercises. You might find you enjoy other forms of movement. Whatever your preferences are, though, get yourself moving.

Nutrition

The next part of building physical reboot capital is nutrition. You’ve probably heard the phrase “food is fuel” before and it’s true. The foods you eat have a direct impact on how well you perform. Junk food destroys your capabilities. Whole foods empower you to function optimally.

When porn, sex, and masturbation consume all your time and energy you’re likely seriously neglecting your nutrition. You probably aren’t making home-cooked meals or paying attention to the composition of your food. Instead, you’re probably grabbing some fast food or neglecting to eat much at all because you’re distracted and busy.

You may also struggle with mindless, emotional, or boredom eating. Many people turn to food for comfort for a variety of reasons. If you find yourself eating for any of these reasons, you need to reconsider your eating habits and relationship with food, too.

Building physical reboot capital in regards to nutrition starts with learning the basics about food. Do you know what you’re putting into your body? Find out what macronutrients are, the basic building blocks of food. Start learning about the differences between whole foods and processed foods. The more you understand about the foods you eat the more informed your choices will be.

Once you have a basic understanding of nutrition, start rebuilding your diet. While there’s nothing wrong with going out to eat now and then, it shouldn’t be your primary source of nutrition. Instead, base your diet around healthy, whole foods like meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, oats, eggs, rice, potatoes, and beans. Make sure you eat enough protein every day. Don’t neglect the necessity of beneficial carbs. Keep fats in your diet because they’re important.

It won’t take long for you to notice how much of an impact a healthy diet has. You’ll sleep better, it’s easier to concentrate, your exercise performance skyrockets, and you’ll wonder how you ever got by on a poor diet before. Your mindset shifts entirely when you begin to focus on what you use to fuel your body!

Alcohol, Nicotine, and Drugs

Alcohol, nicotine, and drugs are substances that often accompany a porn- and sex-addicted lifestyle. These things help you numb yourself to the reality of your condition and keep you from thinking about where your life has ended up. Reconsidering your relationship with substances is another way to build physical reboot capital.

While you may or may not suffer with a substance abuse problem, cutting back on or eliminating alcohol, nicotine, and drugs is a good idea at the start of your reboot. Many men find they’re more likely to slip or relapse while they’re under the influence. Their inhibitions are lowered and they’re far more willing to do things they may not do while sober.

Also, substance abuse problems aside, alcohol, nicotine, and drugs truly add nothing to your life. Sure, it’s fun to have a beer with your friends while watching the game or to head out for drinks after a long day at the office. But when you consider everything else that follows, is it really worth it?

All these substances wreak havoc on your physical and mental wellbeing, especially when done in excess. If you find you have little control of your substance intake it may be best to leave them behind during the start of your reboot. 

Building Reboot Capital

We’ve reached the end of our reboot capital series. Hopefully, it gave you a deeper understanding of the importance of building reboot capital and some ideas for getting started. I now recommend joining our free Facebook group if you haven’t already. Connect with some brothers who seek help in our porn addiction counseling sessions and talk about which areas you’re actively working on. If you’re struggling in a specific area you’ll find a brother who can help you through it.

No matter where you’re at in your reboot you never have to go through the process alone. There are so many brothers available to help you in the areas you have a hard time with. You can also find some strength and purpose in helping another brother who’s experiencing difficulty in an area you’re strong in.

Finding freedom from your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation is only the beginning. The Porn Reboot program helps you build a life far beyond what you ever imagined possible. Building reboot capital is an important part of that process. You’re capable of so much more than you realize, brother, and you’re well on the way to discovering it.

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Managing Anger: Mastering Emotional Reboot Capital

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
Managing Anger: Mastering Emotional Reboot Capital

We’re in the middle of a small series on the concept of reboot capital. Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

  • Spiritual
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Social

Today I want to continue last week’s post on emotional reboot capital. Getting in touch with your emotions and learning to identify them is one of the greatest challenges of your early reboot. 

There is one emotion, in particular, that tends to stand out as men start feeling their feelings again: anger.

Anger is one of the most common emotions in men dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior. Oftentimes therapists will teach men to “let out their anger” as long as they again learn to “manage it.” 

Sure, this may be true, but encouraging that early in your reboot is like handing a hand grenade to a child. You have no experience controlling strong emotions. Leaning into an emotion as intense as anger can lead to an explosive and even dangerous outcome.

Anger is a normal experience. You’re not a bad person because you’re walking around feeling angry most of the time. Many men who had no experience with anger issues before find that they feel incredible rage when they first start the reboot process. You’re not to blame for the anger that swells up during the early days of your reboot. 

You are, however, responsible for learning to control it. If you want to be successful in your porn addiction recovery you must not let your anger control you. It’s one of the most powerful relapse triggers, right after fear, shame, and doubt. Controlling your anger begins with understanding the causes of it and how it works.

Most men use porn and masturbation to suppress anger issues early in life. They pushed this emotion down deep instead of allowing it to run its course. Like all suppressed emotions, the anger comes out tenfold when it’s finally given some space. 

Anger is like any other emotion, such as joy. It’s neither good nor bad. What makes anger bad is the poor ways that people tend to handle it. When you use it as an excuse to fly off the handle and end up in a rage, anger is bad. When you add on the internal challenges of guilt, depression, burnout, loneliness, and paranoia, it only adds fuel to the fire.

Some of the main causes of anger include:

  • Fear 
  • Irrational beliefs
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Uncommunicated needs

Every time you have an expectation that goes unmet or a false belief that you seek proof for, it triggers the anger deep within you. As you progress through your reboot you’ll naturally work through each of these areas. You’ll learn to face your fear. You’ll learn to challenge your irrational beliefs. You’ll learn to drop your unrealistic expectations. You’ll learn to speak up about your needs.

In the meantime, though, incorporating some things can help you avoid and work through anger. You spent years anesthetizing your emotions with porn, sex, and masturbation. Now that you no longer have these “tools”, what can you do instead?

I recommend starting with exercise. Regular exercise is an effective way to free yourself of pent-up frustration through the natural release of endorphins. When you feel that anger rise inside, go for a long walk, lift weights at the gym, shoot some hoops at the basketball court. Find a form of exercise that works for you and implement it – it will make more of a difference than you can imagine.

Next, keep a journal of the things that trigger you. What are the events, situations, people, and circumstances that cause the anger? What are some other feelings that come up during these moments? Writing is a crucial tool to use when learning to work through anger and other emotions, not only at the start of your reboot but throughout it.

Mindfulness meditation is another helpful practice to incorporate when you’re starting to work through your anger. The practice of mindfulness involves being present in the moment and paying attention to what’s going on around you. It also involves not sinking into or dwelling in your feelings. Instead, you observe them and then let them pass by.

Anger is a normal part of life, brother, and learning to live with it will make your porn addiction counseling much more successful. These three practices, exercise, journaling, and mindfulness, are each an antidote to your anger. The more often you incorporate each one, the easier it will be to work through anger when it arises. 

However, if you choose not to involve practices to address your anger it will contribute much distress and unhappiness in your life. You leave yourself more at risk of relapse, you’ll treat others poorly, and you’ll continue to struggle. If you want to find freedom from your out-of-control behavior, finding freedom from anger is a vital part of the process.

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Mastering Your Self-Talk: A Reboot Superpower

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
Mastering Your Self-Talk: A Reboot Superpower

Today I want to dive into what I consider to be a superpower for many men: self-talk.

You may have heard of the term self-talk in different self-improvement circles but I view it a bit differently. I want to help you understand what it is, the important role it plays, and how you can develop it in your life, not only for rebooting but to help you achieve all your goals.

What is Self-Talk?

Self-talk is your intra-personal communication. It is the way you speak to yourself internally and the story you tell yourself, both of which also contribute to the way you communicate with others. Everybody talks to themselves, it’s a normal thing. Some have a more constant inner dialogue than others but everyone experiences it to some degree.

When you pay attention to your inner dialogue you’ll see that it reflects your thoughts and emotions. It provides a running commentary on everything going on around you, on your hopes for the future, your regrets about the past, and more. 

People often think that self-talk is something innate that can’t be changed. It’s part of who you are and is the way that it is. However, I know that’s far from the truth. You have more control over your self-talk than you’d like to admit or believe.

Paying attention to your self-talk helps you get to know yourself in a deeper, more honest way. You discover your thinking patterns and how you react to events outside your control. Once you notice these patterns, it allows you to do something about them.

Dysfunctional vs. Constructive Self-Talk

Some people are programmed for positive self-talk. It doesn’t take much for their headspace to remain upbeat and beneficial as they move through their lives. However, others are prone to negative self-talk. Their inner monologue tends to carry a critical view of the world around them and especially themselves.

This means there are two types of self-talk: constructive and dysfunctional. Dysfunctional self-talk tells a bad story that makes you feel helpless and hopeless. Constructive self-talk makes you feel awesome, like you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Dysfunctional self-talk is what creates negative feelings. It causes things like anxiety and depression, further instills insecurity, and exacerbates negative emotion. On the other hand, constructive self-talk provides access to all kinds of wonderful emotions. It leaves you feeling happy, confident, and full of optimism. 

Getting your self-talk to this constructive space is when it becomes a superpower that makes you unstoppable.

Why is Self-Talk So Important?

Self-talk has a direct impact on how you feel. Negative self-talk makes you feel terrible while positive self-talk makes you feel incredible. This isn’t the only thing that makes it important, though. The interesting thing about self-talk is that it amplifies your perception of experiences.

For example, if you’re stressed out and overwhelmed with negative thoughts, it makes your stressful situation even more stressful. But if you’re filled with positive thoughts, you’ll have an easier time talking yourself through this moment of difficulty, trusting that it won’t last forever.

Ultimately, your self-talk creates a feedback loop. The positivity or negativity of that loop depends on the way you talk to yourself. If your inner dialogue amplifies both negative and positive things, which would you prefer it amplifies?

Learning to Control Self-Talk

You’re not a victim of your inner dialogue. While you may not know how to control it yet, the good thing is you can learn how to. You can incorporate different practices that help you develop an awareness of how you talk to yourself and then change those negative thought patterns.

The first step to controlling your self-talk is to make a conscious effort to pay attention to your thoughts. Do this as you go through your day. Listen to the way your mind reacts to whatever happens around you. Observe the patterns of thought that happen automatically with little input from your conscious mind.

The more you pay attention, the more you’ll recognize the trend of your thoughts. Are you more prone to positive or negative thinking? If you’re here in the Porn Reboot program and early in your reboot, you’re more likely to err on the side of dysfunctional self-talk.

Next, write down a list of your most common thought patterns. What are the things you regularly tell yourself? Are you encouraging or do you tear yourself down? What specific phrases do you repeat? Write all of these things down on paper so you have them in front of you in black and white.

Read each thought and ask yourself whether there is any truth behind it. It may be difficult at first when you’re still programmed to see yourself negatively. The more you read through this list, though, the more you realize most of the things you tell yourself are far from true. In fact, many of them are probably ridiculous.

Self-Talk and Your Reboot

You’ve spent so many years of your life telling yourself all sorts of terrible things; no wonder you feel so poorly all the time. Learning to control your self-talk is crucial if you want to be successful in your porn addiction recovery. 

If you tell yourself that you’re a loser every time you slip it will be much harder for you to overcome these setbacks. But if you accept your imperfections, tell yourself that you’re working hard, and that you learn from your mistakes, it will be much easier to avoid these mistakes.

Working on your self-talk is an important part of your reboot. There are tons of men in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group who understand the difficulties of controlling self-talk. If you’re having a hard time with changing your dysfunctional thinking, jump into the group and find some support from your brothers as you work on it!

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