Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever

porn reboot

The Truth About Triggers

Porn Addiction Symptoms / By Automation Agency Concierge

The Truth About Triggers

There are three main approaches to traditional porn addiction recovery that I like to refer to as the “Big Three.”

They are the religious approach, the 12-step approach, and the therapeutic approach. Each of these works for different people based on personality, background, needs, and so on. However, they also tend to create obstacles where none should actually exist.

I have a hard time with the Big Three because each of them applies archaic and out-of-date methodologies to a very modern problem. For example, problems like alcoholism are relatively predictable. Alcohol has been the same substance for centuries. Flavors and brands may change but the substance itself remains the same.

On the other hand, porn addiction is a modern problem because it’s constantly evolving. What was mostly magazines and VHS tapes a few decades ago is now the most expansive library containing whatever you could possibly want to watch, anytime, anywhere. It’s not the same beast that it was 20 years ago, and it’ll be a completely different beast 20 years from now.

The way that high-speed on-demand pornography has rewired men’s brains is something else entirely. It creates changes that feel as though they’re permanent. Men watch their sexual preferences change as their pornography use progresses. They begin fantasizing about things they would have never imagined themselves attracted to before watching porn.

Applying one of the Big Three methodologies to your porn addiction recovery often neglects this reality. It uses old approaches that don’t take a comprehensive approach that’s required for your recovery. They focus more on porn use and less on the important tools you can use to overcome it.

For example, triggers are a hot topic in these traditional approaches. You’re taught to think that triggers are the main cause of your porn use and compulsive sexual behavior. There’s this belief that if you have a problem with pornography, you need to avoid any potential triggers that could lead you to relapse.

Leaning into this belief about triggers means that if you have a problem with pornography and see a scantily-clad woman that you’ll experience an uncontrollable urge and have no choice but to relapse. Do you realize how ridiculous that is?

I understand that triggers are a real thing and they do create a biochemical reaction that leads to arousal. Men experience a biological response when they see something sexual that falls within their arousal template. But the belief that you have no control once you’re triggered is absolutely unreasonable.

Accepting this belief means your life becomes a quest to avoid triggers. That’ll make you a wildly useless person, though, because triggers are inevitable. What are you going to do, shut yourself away in your house for the rest of your life?

You have a choice in how you respond to triggers. It might not feel like it at the beginning but you do. You lose control over that choice as you fall deeper into your pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. But you can regain that control if you use the right system and approach.

That’s exactly what the Porn Reboot program is designed to do. It’s built to help you build a solid foundation for recovery and then equips you with the tools and skills needed to maintain what you’ve built. It’s not a program that teaches you that you’re a victim to circumstances and need to spend your time avoiding triggers. It’s a program that empowers you with the ability to recognize that pornography isn’t something you want as part of your life.

I’ve seen it time and time again with men who use our system. Over time they realize that they prefer not to watch pornography. They build a life that is so fulfilling and preferable to the way they were living before that the idea of watching pornography or engaging in those old compulsive behaviors again is abhorrent.

Whether you believe it or not, brother, you have a choice when it comes to your porn addiction symptoms and compulsive sexual behavior. Sure, compulsive behavior with pornography, sex, and masturbation is real but your response to it is one hundred percent your choice. And regaining that choice is the most important thing you could possibly cultivate within our system.

The Truth About Triggers Read More »

Be Mindful of the Therapist You Choose

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Be Mindful of the Therapist You Choose

A while back I posted a video about why some straight men watch gay or transgender porn.

It’s a common thing for men who start progressing in their porn addiction counseling use past the initial stages. But it creates a lot of confusion when men don’t understand why they’re watching what they’re watching. Until they learn more about porn addiction, some wonder whether they’re bisexual or gay.

I believe that most men who watch these genres of pornography aren’t bisexual or gay. Porn addiction is a progressive condition. This means that you need to seek increasingly intense or stimulating scenes over time to achieve the same effect. Gay and trans porn is oftentimes a part of this porn progression for many otherwise straight men.

A licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) commented on this video, though, with a different take. He said:

“I’m fully aware of and support your work, as well as the notion that pornography and other sexual behaviors are addictive. My theory based on my work, though, is that we live in a society where the majority of people are bisexual and a fringe number of people are either fully straight or fully gay. Many men who watch gay porn are likely part of this larger bisexual category.”

This worries me. I already have my opinions about men with porn addiction seeking help from most traditional therapists. The comment left by this LCSW on my video backs up my concerns and shows how misunderstood porn addiction still is.

Many therapists out there do not understand the concept of porn addiction. They see nothing wrong with men watching porn and masturbating daily. Sure, this might be fine for a normal man but men with porn addiction aren’t like other normal men.

It’s even more serious for men whose porn use progresses past “vanilla” porn. When they start looking for more provocative genres of pornography, insight from an uninformed therapist can be downright dangerous.

For example, some therapists (like the LCSW who commented on my post) will be quick to brand a man watching gay or trans porn as bi-curious at the very least. However, I’ve worked with hundreds of men who delved into these genres but are as straight as they come. Branding men who are already confused and vulnerable as their sexuality only complicates things further.

Professionally speaking, I’ll admit that every human being exists somewhere on the spectrum from straight to gay. I don’t believe that means the number of people who are either strictly straight or gay are the minority, though. Plenty of men can recognize the attractive aesthetics of another man without identifying as gay.

So, again, does watching gay porn make you gay? I’ve seen from my own experiences working with men addicted to pornography that this oftentimes isn’t the case. You need to cut pornography from your life and begin rebooting before you can make an honest appraisal of that, though.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with seeking therapy. There are hundreds of men in the Porn Reboot program who also see a therapist to work through issues outside my scope of expertise. But they spent time vetting the therapist they now work with and ensured it was a therapist who understands the severity of porn addiction and the directions it can progress.

Seeking help from a therapist who doesn’t understand porn addiction won’t be helpful. They’re more likely to focus on your attraction to men than your issues with porn. From my experience, you need to address your porn issues and let your confused sense of attraction sort itself out during your reboot.

Be Mindful of the Therapist You Choose Read More »

Navigating Abstinence for Christian Brothers

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Navigating Abstinence for Christian Brothers

Today’s post is for my Christian brothers.

While this is not a Christian system and nor am I a Christian, I do have a lot of Christian clients. I work with men who are ministers, monks, former monks, believers, and even pastors of megachurches. There are plenty of religious men who are part of the Porn Reboot group and I want to help these men today.

A brother asked,

“Hey J.K. I’m a Christian and I want to wait until marriage to have sex because I’m still a virgin and would like to save myself for my spouse. I also believe that masturbation is probably wrong. Is there anything different I should be doing if I plan to have absolute abstinence from all sexual contact before marriage?

“I’m also worried that my future spouse will have a lower sex drive than me. What is a good way to determine whether she and I will match in sex drive? How important is that overall, anyways? Thanks, brother.”

Again, while I am not a religious person and this is not a religious system, I fully support my Christian brothers. If you’re a Christian man who struggles with porn addiction problems, I understand what an overwhelming thing it can be. I hold no animosity or judgment for my Christian brothers and mean no disrespect to any religion here at Porn Reboot.

I want to break down this important question for you if these are some things you’re having a hard time with, too.

Is Masturbation Wrong?

This gentleman mentioned that masturbation is “probably” wrong. I hear that from a lot of my Christian and Muslim clients. They believe that masturbation is wrong but you can almost always hear the hesitation in their voice when they say this.

Here’s the thing, brother. You either believe in something or you don’t. You cannot believe that something is “probably” right or wrong. If you’re in this position, you “probably” don’t believe that’s the truth. Someone may have implied that it’s wrong, suggested that it’s temptation, or even explicitly told you that it’s wrong, but deep in your heart, you may not believe that.

At the same time, this half-belief creates a deep sense of guilt and shame. Once you’re addicted to porn and can’t control your sexual behavior, you’re left feeling like a sinner, like a weakling, like less of a man. You might believe that you’re going to hell for your actions.

In reality, though, you may not be as awful as you think. Your porn addiction might not be an addiction at all, either. You may be so conditioned by your religious beliefs to see yourself as a sick, compulsive, sexual person but realize after talking with us that your behavior isn’t as compulsive as you originally thought.

Sometimes we’ve even talked with Christian men who believed they had a problem when they showed up to the Porn Reboot group. After spending some time around the group, though, they realize their problem wasn’t as severe as they thought. They’re able to go about their lives with a newfound understanding of masturbation and come to terms with their natural, inherent, biological sexual drive.

Abstinence Before Marriage

Abstinence before marriage is a personal decision for every person. While I never recommend complete abstinence, nor is the Porn Reboot system based around it, I’ll never tell a man what he should do when it comes to his personal beliefs.

I have found that complete abstinence works for some men but not for others. We teach control over your sexual behavior and help you learn to manage your sexual urges. We also teach you how to accept yourself as a sexual being and that means we don’t recommend complete abstinence.

If abstinence is part of your religious convictions, though, you may want to leave these aspects of the Porn Reboot system aside. There’s nothing wrong with abstinence before marriage if that’s the path you choose to take but it will mean leaving behind some parts of the system that don’t align with your personal religious beliefs.

Sexual Repression

The biggest problem I notice among my Christian clients is the shift toward sexual repression. A lot of men who remain abstinent end up in the realm of sexual repression rather than rebooting. They believe that being free from porn and masturbation for a few years means they’ve successfully rebooted, but that might not be the case.

I hear from men with these porn-free years who find they still experience porn-induced erectile dysfunction. They haven’t acted out on their behaviors for years but still cannot achieve an erection naturally. Men who are in this position haven’t rebooted, they’ve only repressed themselves sexually.

While having sex isn’t a required part of the Porn Reboot system, we do require that you don’t repress yourself sexually. We need to find out what that looks like for you, especially if you’re choosing to remain completely abstinent until marriage. But when you fall into this space you’re still not fully rebooted and have some more work to do.

Differences in Sex Drive

This is a problem I hear often from men who choose to remain abstinent until marriage. The truth is, there’s no way for you to know what your future wife’s sex drive is like. You’ll never know until the two of you finally have sex.

At the same time, there’s also no way for you to know what your sex drive is really like either, especially at the start of your reboot. You are dealing with compulsive behavior. You do not know the difference between your actual sex drive and the urges you’re medicating with porn, masturbation, and sex.

You’ll only learn what your natural sex drive is as your brain rewires over time. Men who actively have sex during their reboot can learn about healthy sex sooner than men who choose to remain abstinent. You won’t have the opportunity to engage in any sexual behavior when you choose to remain abstinent, though, so you’ll miss out on finding out what your baseline sex drive is until you’re married.

Matching Sex Drives

The final part of our brother’s question asked whether matching sex drives is truly important. In my opinion, finding a partner whose sex drive matches yours is imperative. I think when you’re an individual who has successfully rebooted and wants to have a healthy sex life, your partner should want to have sex as frequently as you do.

Admittedly this is a deeper topic that I could expound upon in another post, the basics of it are the same. I do believe that partners should have similar sex drives otherwise this creates even more problems down the line. But if you choose to remain abstinent until marriage, you’ll never know whether you and your partner have matching sex drives until you get married.

Christians and Porn

Ultimately, brother, being a Christian and struggling with porn addiction recovery doesn’t make you a terrible person. I don’t believe it means that you’re going to hell or that you’re beyond saving. I know many Christian men who have overcome their compulsive sexual behavior and become incredible, stand-up members of society.

The choice to remain abstinent until marriage is yours alone. It’s not something that I recommend but I still know men who have been successful in their reboots while remaining abstinent. If you’re looking for some help with similar struggles, come check out the Porn Reboot Facebook group. You’re guaranteed to find another man who can share his experience with you and support you along the way, whatever you decide to do.

Navigating Abstinence for Christian Brothers Read More »

Why You Feel So Hopeless In Your Reboot

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Why You Feel So Hopeless In Your Reboot

A lot of men come to the Porn Reboot program with severe limiting beliefs.

Many of these beliefs originate in childhood then continue developing as you age. They come from traumatic incidents, unhealthy relationships, repeated failure, and more.

The culmination of these limiting beliefs often results in an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Men arrive at the program worn out, beaten down, and broken, exhausted after years of self-deprecation and repeated inability to control their behavior.

You probably feel this way to some extent.

Maybe you’re thinking something to the effect of, “There’s no point anymore, I’m going to fail no matter what I do.”

I’m here to reassure you, my brother, that that’s not true. You may feel hopeless now but there is a solution in the porn addiction recovery system that can save you from your porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior. Men who adhere to the system find themselves able to control their out-of-control behavior within 90 days and then continue to build better lives for themselves well into the future.

But you don’t have to worry about the future right now, brother. Let’s focus on the present and work through why you feel so hopeless in your reboot. Hopelessness is a feeling that stems from the belief that you’re stuck. You have no reason to feel positive expectations or move toward the future in your life. These beliefs keep you stuck in the same place, creating a downward spiral.

Four main elements create feelings of hopelessness:

Victim Mindset: Men with a victim mindset view life as happening to them. They believe that you’re standing on the side of the road watching things happen with little say in how they play out, encouraging feelings of hopelessness.
Irresponsibility: Irresponsibility ties into the victim mindset. When a man believes life is happening to him, he’s refusing to take responsibility for the aspects he can control. This refusal to take responsibility further instills hopelessness.
Blaming: A man who won’t take responsibility for his circumstances instead looks for someone or something else to blame. He believes he’s in his present situation because of his parents, partner, politics, or whatever else he can think to blame.
Powerlessness: Men who blame others for their problems put themselves in a position of powerlessness. Those who see themselves as victims, who won’t take responsibility for their situation, back themselves into a corner with no clear way out.

These four elements combine to create an overwhelming, looming sense of hopelessness. It causes men to lose drive, energy, and motivation. They no longer have hope for the future because it feels like there’s nothing they can do that will make a difference.

Does this sound familiar?

Thankfully there’s a solution to that looming sense of hopelessness. It starts with recognizing that you are responsible for your life. You determine how things go. Sure, you might not have control over certain aspects of life but you have full control over how you respond to them.

It’s up to you to make the adjustments necessary to change your life.

Start by asking yourself questions that will shift your thinking and perspective.

“How am I causing this?”

“What am I doing to make this my reality?”

“What am I pretending not to know to keep things the way they are?”

These are far better questions than asking yourself why things are happening “to” you.

These questions also encourage self-reflection and your answers give you actionable steps to take, helping you realize that you’re anything but stuck.

Once you take ownership of your life and begin applying solutions, you start to reclaim the control that you spent years giving away. You’ll experience small wins here and there that encourage you to keep going. You’re going to notice your life taking a new direction and likely find that things play out differently than you always expected they would.

As you take responsibility for your life and recognize the areas you can change, your feelings of hopelessness diminish. You’ll feel hopeful for the future when you see just how much say you have in your life. You’re no longer at the mercy of whatever happens; you take your power back and decide how you’re going to respond no matter what may happen.

I understand that you may feel hopeless now, brother, but those feelings will change. You won’t feel stuck forever. Seeking help on porn addiction counseling asap. It’s difficult to arrive at the Porn Reboot group and recognize how much work there is to do but it’s also empowering to know that you have the power to shift your life.

Are you ready?

Why You Feel So Hopeless In Your Reboot Read More »

Should You Trust Me?

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Should You Trust Me?

Today I want to respond to a concern that I receive from time to time.

I get it in responses on my YouTube videos, comments to the group, and even direct emails from time to time. It may be a question you’ve even thought to yourself before. I never want to assume no one else has this thought aside from those few who bring it up so today I want to address it.

The comment in question reads:

“How can we trust you when you take so much money upfront for your training? Is it a classic narcissistic trick to exploit vulnerable people and then blame them if they fail? I’m not trying to be negative or anything but it’s a genuine concern that I’ve had with you.”

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to trust anyone, honestly. Anyone who’s followed me for a significant amount of time knows that I say assume B.S. with everything. Second-guess all of it. Whether it’s a podcast, a YouTube video, or an email in your inbox, question anything you see until you know it’s proven to work.

Here’s the other thing: my entire system is free. It’s free on YouTube. It’s free on my podcast. It’s free here on the blog, too. I recently wrote an in-depth set of posts on the stages of the Porn Reboot system as an update to the set I wrote a few months ago.

Of course, these things aren’t tailored to your experience or personalized for you; it’s a general outline of how the Porn Reboot system works for any man who wants to use it. It’s the system I used to overcome my out-of-control behavior with porn and masturbation over a decade ago. Since then, I’ve worked with hundreds of men who used this same system to overcome their behavior, too.

You don’t have to join the Porn Reboot intensive group if you don’t want to. You’ll find none of my necessary content hidden behind a paywall. Everything you could need to overcome your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior is available on my site, my YouTube channel, my podcast, and my free Facebook group. I don’t charge for any of it.

The system doesn’t change whether you’re in the free group or the Porn Reboot intensive group. The path to rebooting remains the same regardless of which avenue you choose to take. The stages of the Porn Reboot program don’t look any different once you become a paying member of the group.

The difference is that the Porn Reboot intensive is for men who want to take the extra step with their reboot. They want ongoing accountability, regular support calls, and access to an exclusive group of high-performing men working to control their out-of-control behavior.

They aren’t the trial rebooters who browse my free content but never truly apply these concepts and practices in their lives. The men in the intensive take themselves and their compulsive behavior seriously and back that intensity with their actions.

We deliver results to men whose behaviors cause them to lose much more than the fees we charge. From the relationships they destroy, the careers they tear apart, the business deals they lose out on, what they have to lose far outweighs the cost of the Porn Reboot program.

I have dozens of high-performing men who come to the program looking for help with little concern for what the cost may be. I work with CEOs on the edge of blowing massive business opportunities. I work with men in line for life-changing promotions that may miss it because of their out-of-control behavior. I work with fathers who are at risk of losing their families because of their behaviors.

Men in these situations think less about the cost of the program and more about the results it will get them. The things they have to lose are worth far more than the price tag attached to the Porn Reboot intensive group. Our program fees are a small price to pay compared to the things on the line for these men.

Here’s another way to look at it: you wouldn’t question why the doctor who treats your cancer charges what he does. Most extensive treatments and surgeries cost more than a person’s life savings. Hospitals charge enormous amounts to provide their services but you wouldn’t hesitate to pay them, you’d seek treatment and then figure it out.

Men who qualify for the porn addiction recovery intensive are looking to treat their porn addiction problems with the same sense of urgency that people with life-threatening illnesses have. They’ve reached a point where their out-of-control behavior is life-threatening in one way or another, whether in terms of their livelihood, their family, or their life itself.

I was at this point when I finally had enough. I knew that if I didn’t do something to get my behavior under control that I was going to destroy everything. I paid the price for a professional intervention because I had reached a place where I was almost gone beyond recall.

If you haven’t reached these types of depths in your porn addiction counseling then you’re a lucky man. There’s a chance you may reach it later on down the road if you don’t find a way to end your behavior. But you might not need to become a member of the Porn Reboot intensive to do that.

Plenty of Porn Reboot brothers never become paying members in the intensive and still overcome their behavior. They use the content I provide for free and do the work without making excuses. They’re the same type of determined men who join the group but didn’t join for one reason or another, yet they still learned to control their behavior with the Porn Reboot system.

So no, I don’t think you need to trust me. I think if you’re even asking yourself that question then the Porn Reboot intensive isn’t for you. I’ve shared plenty of success stories on my YouTube channel and within the Facebook group for you to know that it works. If you don’t think it’s worth the cost, though, then the Porn Reboot intensive group isn’t right for you.

Still, I welcome you to read some more blog posts, listen to the podcast, watch some videos, and join us in the free Facebook group. Even if you don’t trust me I’d love for you to see what Porn Reboot is all about. I want to help men just like you whether you’re paying me or not. Because helping men get their lives back is where I find my true success and purpose.

Should You Trust Me? Read More »

Impostor Syndrome and Porn Addiction

Porn Addiction Symptoms / By Automation Agency Concierge

Impostor Syndrome and Porn Addiction

I have a confession to make.

After working with men battling porn addiction symptoms for some time, I reached a point where I started working with individuals who are quite successful. I came into contact with a lot of men who had achieved quite a bit in their lives and because of my experience in the sales organization I worked for, I knew how to work with these men.

When I transitioned into coaching full-time and started working one-on-one with clients operating at a high level in their professional lives, it became a balancing act of managing expectations and judgments that come with the territory. Some elite clientele such as CEOs of large companies, pastors of megachurches, and celebrities can put exhausting demands on you.

I’ve always loved the challenge of working with these individuals. I love helping them through their unique situations and challenges because of their particular positions. At the same time, it doesn’t stop me from experiencing impostor syndrome from time to time. I look at the complete loser I was during my early twenties and wonder how it is I arrived where I am today.

Something I’ve noticed while working with my high-level clients, though, is that they feel the same way. They feel like impostors in their realm of work. They believe at times they aren’t smart enough, are insufficient, are lacking, and that they aren’t worthy of their success, too.

It’s difficult for men who either actively live with or who have overcome a porn addiction symptoms to let go of who they used to be and step into the man they can become or have become. This results in men feeling like frauds even long after they’ve overcome their compulsive sexual behavior and pornography addiction. Does this sound like you?

One way men compensate for feeling like impostors is by striving for perfection. They shift their energy into chasing perfectionism in hopes that they will paint over their past imperfections. While this may seem like a logical solution it only makes things worse. Perfectionism is a false ideal. It’s elusive. It’s impossible to achieve because it doesn’t exist.

Trying to outrun impostor syndrome through avenues like perfectionism slaps a temporary solution over the underlying problem. There’s still the little voice in your head that tells you you’re a fake, you’re a fraud, you aren’t good enough, you’re going to relapse, and you’re going to let yourself and everyone you love down.

There are more effective ways to confront and keep your impostor syndrome at bay. The two methods I use most in my own life are mindfulness and emotional behavioral therapy. Like I admitted earlier, I still deal with impostor syndrome from time to time but the feelings are much less intense today than they were when I first started.

If mindfulness and emotional behavioral therapy sound too “woo-woo” for you you can use other approaches. Write out your thoughts and behaviors regarding your impostor syndrome on paper and honestly ask yourself whether the beliefs you hold are rational or irrational. Are you holding yourself to an unrealistic standard or expecting too much from yourself?

Incorporating practices like these alongside your work in the Porn Addiction Recovery Reboot system will slowly erode your impostor syndrome over time. Sure, it may creep back in occasionally but you’ll develop the tools and skills you need to keep that voice quiet more often than not. If I can do it, brother, so can you. And the silence that comes as a result of the work is deeply rewarding.

Impostor Syndrome and Porn Addiction Read More »

A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy

Do you ever feel apathetic during your reboot?

Apathy is something a lot of men run into while working through their porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. It’s frustrating when it happens because we know the pain that brought us to reboot. We understand the serious impact that our porn addiction counseling had and still has, yet we often reach a point where we don’t give a damn about our reboot.

I want to reassure you that apathy is a very normal part of the process. If you’re at this point you’re not alone. In fact, if a man doesn’t experience feelings of apathy during the reboot process then something is wrong.

A recent question from one of our brothers summed this up perfectly:

“After doing the feelings exercise for a solid while, I’ve observed that a strong emotion I encounter which tends to lead to a slip or an unproductive day is apathy. It’s a very constant factor where I don’t feel like doing anything because it seems like nothing matters.

“Does anyone have any advice on how I can work on dealing with this? How can I snap myself out of the pit of apathy that I tend to fall into now?”

I’ve found that apathy begins the moment you run into a challenge, especially when you realize it might take a while to overcome it.

What are some things you feel apathetic about? Are they things that you don’t actually care about? If you’re honest with yourself, they’re usually things you care a lot about but it’s going to take time and effort to accomplish or work through them.

In reality, apathy is often an avoidance mechanism. This is exactly why apathy is a common part of the reboot process. When you get to the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot program and realize how much work it takes to implement the system, apathy kicks in and you try to convince yourself that you don’t really care.

Overcoming apathy is an important part of the reboot process. You need to trust that these feelings are normal and that they will pass so you don’t give in and relapse as a result.

The first step to overcoming apathy is learning to recognize your apathetic thoughts. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t have enough willpower to be successful with your reboot. It might be the belief that you’ll never control your urges. Perhaps you think you couldn’t possibly do this every day for the rest of your life.

Next, you need to understand that any time you tell yourself you can’t do something you’re really saying that you won’t do it. It’s not can’t, it’s won’t. It’s a refusal to do the things that you know will take work because putting in the effort sounds exhausting.

You always have a choice. Let’s say you need to wake up earlier in the morning to have enough time for your morning routine. Although you’re perfectly capable of waking up early, you probably don’t want to because you already have a set way of doing things. Maybe it’s the journaling or writing exercises that you object to. You don’t want to write for any assignments because it’s not a pleasurable, dopamine-inducing activity.

But if you want to be successful in your reboot, you need to change every aspect of your life.

I’ll never lie to you and tell you that rebooting is easy but I will tell you that the result is worth it. Pushing through the feelings of apathy and doing things you don’t want to do will make you unrecognizable over the coming months.

Remember – you don’t feel apathetic towards something you truly care about. Apathy arises when you’re resistant to doing the work it takes to get there. While apathy is a normal part of rebooting, overcoming those feelings is also a critical part of the process.

You’re not alone in dealing with feelings of apathy. Every man in the Porn Reboot program deals with them at one time or another. You may overcome them now and then have to deal with them again in the future. So long as you’re willing to do the work it takes to move through the apathy, though, you’re still on the right track.

A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy Read More »

Evolving Through Self-Awareness

Porn Addiction Problems / By Automation Agency Concierge

Evolving Through Self-Awareness

Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the level of consciousness that created it.”

This quote resonates so deeply with me because it applies directly to compulsive behavior with porn and masturbation. You must evolve your consciousness to free yourself from the shackles of your sexual behavior. You have to move beyond where you are currently to become an expert at yourself if you want to change.

I recently discovered just how effective meditation is for letting go of my deepest attachments, beliefs, and fears. Right now I’m meditating two hours a day to harness the power of that clarity so I can seek relief. I’m not exaggerating, either – I literally sit down for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening to go deep within myself.

Meditation is the practice that helps me remove barriers standing in my way of becoming an expert at myself. It’s how I cultivate the self-awareness necessary to continue moving upward in life. This in turn gives me the tools to teach you and the rest of the brothers in the program how to remove barriers standing in your way, too.

The problem with most men is that they don’t want to become self-aware. They’re too attached to their current life to evolve. They still want to do things like binge-watch YouTube, scroll Facebook endlessly, or listen to mindless podcasts. They’re not interested in the work and dedication it takes to create deep, lasting change.

This may be the case for you, too. Maybe you’re getting little dopamine hits from Reddit and Twitter. You might prefer going to bed late and eating junk food all the time. Perhaps you consume too much mainstream news and find yourself stuck in a cynical mindset throughout the day.

This also means you’re attached to doubts, irrational beliefs in your willpower, pride, fear of being judged, and ultimately your weakness. Yet you take the easy route time and time, wondering why you’re stuck in this rut of negativity and unable to make any lasting changes.

Freedom from this behavior isn’t gained by visiting a therapist’s office for an hour each week. It’s not found by posting in a Facebook group or Reddit thread. You can’t discover it by sharing with a 12-step group week after week or escaping through fitness or nutrition.

The only way to find freedom from these inner beliefs is through cultivating self-awareness. Self-awareness is the key to your escape from limiting beliefs and, ultimately, your porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior.

So what’ll it be, brother? Are you going to do the work to become self-aware and obtain porn addiction recovery or remain in your prison of mindlessness?

Evolving Through Self-Awareness Read More »

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

How To Stop Porn Addiction / By Automation Agency Concierge

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

Today I’m bringing you another question from a brother in the group. He said:

“Hey, J.K., as I continue to improve for my reboot, I notice that I go about my days doing work, studying for certifications, and looking for entertainment options, but I realized that I don’t have a consistent, fulfilling hobby that I’m good at.

Sometimes I think I’m not good at anything or that I can’t do anything special. I know you’ve talked about having a purpose as being a luxury, but what is your take on how to discover hobbies or interests? Is it better to focus on controlling my behavior and sticking with things that feel boring or mundane for the time being? Or do you recommend seeking out hobbies?”

If you’re struggling with an out-of-control sexual behavior or porn addiction, chances are some parts of your life are suffering. Maybe your marriage is failing, your career is backsliding, or your friendships are nonexistent. There are at least one or two things that drove you to finally address your compulsive behavior.

This means your reboot should consume most of your attention, time, and energy. Managing your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation must take the front seat if you truly want to change your life. You can’t address these difficulties in your life if you don’t dedicate yourself to fixing the thing that’s causing them.

At the same time, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any fun, either. The Porn Reboot system is a structured approach to controlling your behavior but it doesn’t mean that you have to live a miserable life after learning how to stop porn addiction. If life were boring and unfulfilling without porn, men would never be able to leave their compulsive behaviors behind.

You can find endless amounts of excitement and fulfillment in a porn-free life. It’s not a dull, unbearable way to go through life. In fact, cutting porn out of your life allows you to reconnect and re-engage with life in a way you haven’t been able to for years.

I fully support you going out and finding hobbies you enjoy. Although your reboot always needs to come first, there is plenty of time in your day outside of your reboot routine and activities that you can fill with interests and hobbies.

I’m sure you have some things you enjoyed before you sunk into an ever-worsening cycle of porn addiction. You had hobbies as a teenager or young adult that you enjoyed. Start by getting back into some of these things. Join an adult sports league in your community or find a local meetup for outdoor activities you loved in the past.

If you can’t think of any past hobbies you enjoyed, use your spare time as an opportunity to explore all the possibilities available to you. Think of things you always considered trying but never found the time to get around to doing. Maybe you’ve wanted to run a Spartan race, try your hand at an open mic, or take cooking classes at a local community college. You have the freedom to try these things today – make use of it!

I believe having a hobby helps immensely during the reboot process. When you quit using porn and masturbating multiple times throughout the day you’ll find that there’s likely a lot of time to fill. Your addiction consumed much of your days, nights, weeks, and months; take that time back and use it to your advantage now.

If you need some ideas for hobbies to try out or to share your hobbies with some of the porn addiction recovery brothers, check out our free Facebook group. Let us know what you’ve been doing with all your spare time and find some brothers who share the same interests and hobbies. Or maybe you’ll find an activity you never thought of trying before. Come and join us today!

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot? Read More »

Can I Quit Cigarettes, Weed, and Porn Altogether?

How To Stop Porn Addiction / By Automation Agency Concierge

Can I Quit Cigarettes, Weed, and Porn Altogether?

Today’s topic comes from a question a brother brought up. He says:

“Hey, J.K. I feel like I might be trying to do too much at one time and it’s making it hard to focus on my reboot. I’m trying to quit smoking cigarettes, quit smoking marijuana, and quit porn, all while trying to navigate my feelings about separating from my partner.

“How can I navigate all of this and remain successful? Am I trying to do too much at once? How do you avoid falling into the trap of, ‘I’m not looking at porn so it’s okay to masturbate as long as I don’t use it’?”

Porn addiction problems are devastating for men to overcome. It leaves you consumed with shame and guilt for your behavior and separated from the people around you. When you struggle with more than one addiction, though, the problem becomes even harder. Plenty of men deal with other addictions alongside their porn problem. What is the best way to approach these issues? How to stop porn addiction along with other addictions?

First of all, this is probably more common than you think. A lot of brothers feel ending their out-of-control behavior creates a great opportunity to turn a new leaf in life. While it is a great opportunity to make some changes, it’s not a good idea to end every single compulsive behavior you have at once.

I’m not saying it’s impossible but it does make it much more difficult. It’s not the most realistic way of approaching a successful porn addiction recovery. You run the risk of overwhelming yourself by doing everything at the same time. In my experience, men who tackle these problems one at a time rather than all at once are far more successful in the long run.

You can still take on too much at once during your reboot even if you don’t struggle with other addictions. I see it all the time. Men in the Porn Reboot group are talking about doing 75 Hard, about reading a book a week, about losing weight, and about starting a business, all while trying manage their erectile dysfunction and end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

Unsurprisingly, the wheels fall off at some point and they end up in a bigger rut than before.

I’m all for becoming a stronger man and building a better life. But that doesn’t happen by sending yourself into a tailspin by trying to juggle multiple major changes simultaneously. Instead, I believe that taking on changes one at a time and committing them to your new lifestyle is a far more effective approach.

This brother also mentions that he’s trying to quit all of these behaviors while processing the feelings of a breakup. This adds another layer of difficulty to the problem because he’s removing every coping mechanism he’s built over the years. Eliminating all these ways of dealing with his emotions at once will only lead to a harder relapse.

Handling emotions is difficult for anyone in the Porn Reboot program. It’s not something that comes easily; it takes time, practice, and dedication. You may think that ripping the band aid off all at once is the best approach but you’re only making things harder on yourself.

Unless your substance use is putting you in dangerous situations or poses an immediate threat to your physical well-being, I recommend starting with your porn addiction. There’s a reason you’re here at the Porn Reboot program, after all. Start by implementing the Porn Reboot system in your life and fully embrace this approach to life.

Once you’ve gained control over your compulsive behavior, then you can shift your focus to other struggles. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to wellness. You must determine which approach is best for you. But taking them on all at once is the least effective approach, brother. I’ve seen it time and time again. Choose one, master it, and then move on to the next.

Can I Quit Cigarettes, Weed, and Porn Altogether? Read More »

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS AND CONDITIONS

CUSTOM CRAFTED BY QUANTUM

Copyright © 2024 Contrarian Solutions, LLC. Disclaimer Of Health Care Related Services: J.K Emezi/Contrarian Solutions, Llc Encourages You/His Client To Continue To Visit And To Be Treated By His/Her Healthcare Professionals, Including, Without Limitation, A Physician Or Therapist. Understand That J.K Emezi Is Not Acting In The Capacity Of A Doctor, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, Psychologist Or Other Licensed Or Registered Professional. Accordingly, You Understand That J.K Emezi Is Not Providing Health Care, Medical Or Mental Health Care Or Therapy Services And Will Not Diagnose, Treat Or Cure In Any Manner Whatsoever Any Disease, Condition Or Other Physical Or Mental Ailment Of The Human Mind And Body.