Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever


Building Social Reboot Capital: Strengthening Connections

Building Social Reboot Capital: Strengthening Connections

We’re in the middle of a small series on the concept of reboot capital.  Just like a business needs capital to grow, your reboot needs capital to be positive and productive. There are five areas of your life where you need to build up reboot capital: 

  • Spiritual
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Social

Next up in our reboot capital series, brothers, is social reboot capital. Social reboot capital consists of activities that promote wellness within your interpersonal relationships. This includes your family, your friends, and your colleagues.

Human beings are social creatures and naturally seek the comfort and support of healthy relationships with others. However, as men who struggle with out-of-control behavior with porn addiction problems and masturbation, most of us do not have healthy relationships. We isolated ourselves because of the shame and guilt we felt

When we did have to spend time with others, more often than not we were irritated. Being around people took time away from what we really wanted to be doing: acting out. It drives a gap between us and those around us, making us more frustrating and difficult to be around.

A pivotal part of the reboot process involves learning to reintegrate with people. Building social reboot capital means building caring relationships with others while engaging in positive social interactions and behaviors.

I remember early in my reboot realizing that, while the friends I had around me were good people, they lived a lifestyle that could have easily led to me slipping. They went out to the bars every weekend, occasionally smoked weed, and were an overall party-oriented crowd. There’s nothing wrong with living life this way for normal people but you and I are far from normal, brother. We can’t balance that kind of lifestyle with a successful reboot.

Take stock of your friend group and consider how you all spend time together. What is the focus during your interactions? Where do you guys go? What is the driving force behind these relationships? Is there substance to them or is it all surface level with no depth?

Building social reboot capital requires looking at these things. Men who are successful in the porn addiction recovery Reboot Program consider every aspect of their lives. Consider whether your friends are helping you move toward the kind of man you want to be or further from it. Does spending time with them support your reboot practices or make them more difficult to follow through on?

If you find your friendships don’t strengthen your life in any way, it may be time to take a step back from some of them. I had to recognize which friendships were building me up and which were bringing me down. It doesn’t mean you have to cut out every single one of your friends but it does mean you need to expand your friend group.

The thought of spending time with new people triggers a lot of anxiety in many men, though. You’ve spent so many years isolating yourself from people around you and trying to scrape by with the relationships you already have. You likely feel some social anxiety whenever you do get out of the house and into social situations.

Addressing and working through this social anxiety is the first part of building social reboot capital. You can’t find new friends if you struggle to spend any time outside of your comfort zone. Overcoming social anxiety takes work but it is possible. And I say this as an introvert, brother!

Joining a class, group, or club is a great way to face your social anxiety head-on and begin building reboot capital. Join a small gym instead of a large box one, look for a hiking group in your area, or consider taking a class at the local community college. These will all surround you with people who share similar interests and give you something in common right away.

I chose to join a dance class when I first started building my social reboot capital. I know, can you believe that? I’m not a dancer, per se, but had a friend who invited me to check out a swing dancing class. I never would have checked it out on my own but because that friend invited me to go I was willing to try it.

He ended up not showing for the class and I remember feeling so uncomfortable and awkward at first. I felt silly for joining in and berated myself for even considering such a ridiculous thing. But by the end of it, believe it or not, I had a great time. I danced with a few girls as we learned and rotated partners which was more female interaction than I’d had in over two years.

Getting out and joining a group is a far cry from living in front of a computer screen the majority of your day. It brings you into the real world, encourages you to interact with real people, and teaches you real skills in the process. I believe participating in groups, classes, and clubs is by far the most effective way to build social reboot capital in the beginning.

As you build confidence through your activity of choice, expand your social practice into other areas of your social life. Once you become comfortable in the class, invite some of the people to hang out outside of the group. Go out to dinner, watch a movie, check out a museum. This builds more social reboot capital and allows you to engage outside of the structured environment.

Family is the most challenging part of building social reboot capital. Family members know which buttons to press and how to frustrate us the most. You may think the things they say don’t bother you too much but oftentimes they pick at our deepest insecurities. 

If your family is particularly difficult to interact with, I recommend keeping them at a comfortable distance until you develop more reboot capital. As you learn to reconnect with others, redevelop your sense of self, and maintain boundaries, you can let your family further into your life.

In the meantime, lean into brothers in the Porn Reboot group. Talk with men who have similar difficulties. Connecting with them keeps you from feeling alone in your struggles. Building relationships with your Porn Reboot brothers solidifies your social reboot capital, too. Join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group and find someone to connect with if you need it!

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Balancing Social Media and Porn Addiction Recovery

Balancing Social Media and Porn Addiction Recovery

Some things I often see in the Porn Reboot group are:

“I slipped on Twitter.”

“I slipped on Reddit.”

“I slipped on YouTube.”

“For some reason, I can’t stay off social media and I keep slipping.”

If you can’t stay off social media and you continue slipping because of it, brother, I have a hard pill for you to swallow. You’re either a trial rebooter, you lack self-discipline, or you’re lazy. There’s no other way around it. If you won’t remove the thing that’s keeping you trapped in the cycle of porn addiction problems then you have a problem on your hands.

A man who is fully committed to his reboot will recognize when things are more of a hindrance than a help. They will let go of whatever gets in between them and their reboot success. They’re willing to make complete lifestyle changes to avoid ever falling into the cycle of compulsive porn, sex, and masturbation again.

Social media makes it easy to numb out and not think about what’s going on in your life. When you cut out porn you might find that you replace it with endlessly scrolling on Instagram or Facebook or some other social media platform. Whether you realize it or not, you’re doing the same thing with social media that you did with porn, sex, and masturbation: you’re running from pain.

Our porn addiction recovery program which is the Porn Reboot system is simple but it is not easy. It requires your complete willingness to give up your old thoughts, beliefs, and ideas so you can replace them with newer, healthier, more helpful thinking patterns and habits. Scrolling through social media is another way of disconnecting from the world, especially if it’s leading you to slip.

No one needs social media. It hardly existed 20 years ago. But now it’s become an expected part of engaging with others and it can feel impossible to let go of. However, if it’s getting in the way of your reboot then it will be more than worth the effort to remove it for as long as necessary.

Some brothers are part of the Porn Reboot Facebook group, though, and need the support that the group provides. I know that’s the case for me. If it weren’t for our group I’d never be on Facebook. But it’s a necessary evil so I can stay in contact with all the brothers looking for help.

If you find that social media is problematic for you it might be time to cut it out. If you’re part of our Facebook group, there are a few steps you can take to eliminate all distractions aside from the group itself.

  1. Install a browser plugin or extension that eliminates your Facebook feed. I have one that replaces my entire feed with a single positive quote. Every time I log in all I see is a new quote for the day.
  2. Schedule your Facebook use and limit it to once per day, or twice if you asked for some support and need to check back on your post.
  3. Remove everything from your Facebook profile that does not bring value to your life.
  4. Practice deleting social media from your phone every so often. Disconnecting from the need to feel constantly connected is a great way to reframe your relationship with social media.

Ultimately, social media is a tool. It’s a tool that has grown into an incredible behemoth over the last two decades, but it’s a tool nonetheless. If you choose to use it as such you can receive great benefits from it. But if you allow that tool to control you and determine when you use it, it’s far from helpful.

If social media is too difficult or distracting, it’s best to take some time away from it. There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back and trying again once your behavior is under control. You may even find that what you gain from social media isn’t worth the trade-off of the freedom you feel when you remove it. Ultimately, the best solution for you is the one that supports your successful reboot.

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