If you know me, you know I’m a big supporter of systems. I couldn’t quit watching porn or control my compulsive masturbation without a system. It also took the structure and routine of a system to become the man I am today. I make use of these systems in my daily life, when running my business, and within my relationships, too. And the benefits are undeniable.
I’ve talked about using systems in different areas of your life and I think the same applies to your relationship. Your relationship should have a system. There are endless positive results that come from them and there’s no reason not to make use of that with your partner.
You might hesitate when first reading that. If you don’t understand what a system is, it may sound like I’m recommending you put restrictions or limitations on your relationship. You’re probably wondering why any of that sounds like a good idea.
That’s not what I’m suggesting at all. I don’t mean you need to place a strict set of rules and regulations that both of you have to stick to. A system isn’t meant to control you or your partner. So what do I mean?
Whether you realize it or not, your relationship already has some sort of system in place. You and your partner already operate within certain confines even if you haven’t acknowledged it. If your relationship is going well, then you probably have a decent system in place. If you’re experiencing some troubles in your relationship, it’s time to take a deeper look.
I talk about systems often because, by definition, they produce reliable, predictable, and consistent results. They maximize the best aspects and minimize the worst aspects of anything you apply them to. Why wouldn’t you want to apply these outcomes to your relationship?
Everyone wants to have a relationship that’s comfortable and enjoyable. While it might seem like having a system would keep you and your partner in a box, the right system actually keeps your relationship functioning and exciting.
You want to maximize the frequency of things you value in your relationship and minimize the occurrence of negative experiences. Implementing a system that produces these outcomes is going to leave you with some pretty great results.
Think about the things in your relationship that you and your partner value most. For example, intimacy, quality time, and communication are three main components of a thriving relationship. Building self-worth and supporting each other’s goals are also crucial parts of a strong partnership. What are some things you can do to maximize these qualities?
For example, it’s important to spend time both with each other and time on your own. A relationship only functions when each person brings a whole version of themselves to the table, after all. So your system could include one designated date night per week as well as set times for alone time. This allows for balance between your individual and shared interests.
Ultimately, systems lead to ongoing, positive results. They address problems in effective ways and set up effective solutions. Your relationship should have a system because it strengthens communication, sets healthy boundaries, breaks down expectations, limits drama, ensures you don’t take each other for granted, and keeps you from feeling stifled.
How could you ask for anything more?
Porn Reboot is about much more than leaving your porn addiction and compulsive behaviors behind – it’s about becoming the best man you can possibly be. Building a healthy relationship is a vital part of fulfilling your role as a man.
Many men in the Porn Reboot system make use of systems in their own relationships. We often break down and discuss the different approaches we use and learn from each other in the process. If you’re looking for recommendations on where to start, join us today.