August 10, 2023

How to Stop Porn Addiction: Overcoming Compulsive Use

How To Stop Porn Addiction / By J.K Emezi

Pornography is a touchy topic to talk about.

It’s something that you engage with during private times. Millions of people view porn to varying degrees, with tens of thousands accessing porn sites every second. Not everyone believes watching porn is problematic, but problems do arise for some people who view it.

Porn addiction is a serious problem for an estimated 3 to 6% of the population in the United States.1 Exact numbers are difficult to come by because high-speed internet pornography took off faster than researchers could keep up. People are also hesitant to talk about porn addiction problems because of the stigma surrounding them.

But you’ll never learn how to stop porn addiction if you aren’t able to ask for help. Still, the guilt and shame that people feel about their porn use make it almost impossible to reach out. Is there hope for people with pornography addiction? It may feel like compulsive porn use and masturbation will never go away, but there are tools you can use to overcome porn addiction.

What is Pornography Addiction?

Plenty of people view porn occasionally and the wide range of internet browsing data available backs that up. Use has skyrocketed over the last few decades, spurred by a few factors. Public opinion regarding porn has relaxed significantly. Additionally, the evolution of the internet has placed high-speed internet porn into the hands of anyone with a smartphone.

While not everyone who uses porn develops a problem, some become dependent on the images and videos they consume. Pornography addiction is the compulsive and uncontrolled use of pornography. Porn addiction has become a serious problem alongside the skyrocketing rates of pornography use among the population.

Some clinicians suggest that porn addiction problems are not a “real diagnosis.” They misunderstand the impact that porn has on men, especially as it has evolved over the last few years. Porn addiction causes difficulties in relationships, careers, families, and society as a whole.

How Porn Addiction Starts

Porn addiction problems are serious and often progressive. It typically begins during adolescence, often as an accidental exposure. With the incredible amount of pornography available on even the most common of sites, it’s difficult for children to avoid it entirely.

Young boys often seek out porn to learn more about sex or to explore themselves sexually.2 The sudden rush of dopamine from porn and masturbation becomes appealing to some of these young men and they continue engaging with it.

Most don’t realize they have a porn addiction problem until it’s too late. Oftentimes it starts during adolescence and progresses during their teenage years. When most or all sexual experiences occur on a screen, though, it severely affects sexual development. This lack of experience carries into adulthood and becomes a serious and ever-increasing problem.

Porn Addiction Symptoms

How do you know when porn addiction becomes a problem? There are some porn addiction symptoms you can look for to determine whether your use has crossed the line. Symptoms of pornography addiction include things like:

Losing interest in sex
Using porn to manage or cope with difficult emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues
Experiencing relationship problems with your spouse or partner because of your pornography use
Watching porn in risky situations, such as at work, in your car, or another public place
Ignoring responsibilities to watch porn
Having trouble focusing on tasks and activities because of preoccupation with thinking about porn
Viewing progressively more intense or extreme genres of porn to feel the same sense of arousal
Feeling ashamed, guilty, or frustrated for watching porn but continuing to watch it
Spending lots of time either watching porn, thinking about porn, or feeling tired from watching it for long periods
Spending lots of money on pornography, chat sites, or cam sites, even at the expense of necessities
Watching illegal genres of pornography after “vanilla” porn is no longer engaging
Progressing to real-life enactments of taboo or illegal acts seen in preferred genres of porn
Wanting to stop using porn but finding yourself unable to

If you notice any of the signs above, you may want to reconsider your relationship with pornography. It’s easy to convince yourself that you don’t have a problem. If you aren’t able to control your use, though, and it continues to get worse, it’s time to reach out for help.

How to Stop Porn Addiction

Learning how to stop porn addiction starts with asking for help. The Porn Reboot system offers a simple, straightforward solution to your problem with porn addiction. We understand that porn is not a moral problem and it doesn’t mean you’re worthless. There is a biological explanation for your preference for porn but it’s long surpassed its usefulness.

Instead, the Porn Reboot program equips you with the tools and skills necessary to overcome porn addiction. It starts right here with you. Make the decision to reach out today and begin your journey to freedom from the grips of porn addiction.

References

Journal of Clinical Medicine. (2019). Online Porn Addiction: What We Know and What We Don’t.
Enough is Enough. (2021). Pornography.

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Future is Not a Destination: Embracing the Present

Porn Addiction Recovery / By J.K Emezi

Everyone considers their future to some extent.

People have varying goals and aspirations, things they want to see, places they want to visit, and hopes they want to see come to fruition. Maybe you want to have a family, buy a house, or start a business. Perhaps you want to move to a different part of the country or another area in the world.

At the same time, if you struggle with out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, you may feel hopeless about your future. You might believe that you’ve brought yourself to a point that you can’t come back from. Your future might look dark, dreary, and void of anything worth living for.

This is especially true for men early in their reboot. Most men don’t arrive at the Porn Reboot group until they’ve reached a low point. It takes a lot for a man to admit he has a problem and reach out for help. Some lose their jobs, some lose their homes, some lose their families, and some lose everything they have before they find us.

They come to the program simply hoping to end their compulsive behavior. They’ve likely tried at least a few different programs or approaches before. Nothing has worked, though, and their porn-free stints become fewer and further between. This builds a story in their minds that nothing will ever keep them from acting out or completely ending their behavior.

But then they find the Porn Reboot program and begin implementing the system in their lives. They find themselves able to live free from pornography, not because they’re forced to but because they want to. The future doesn’t seem as hopeless as it did before. They can see a light at the end of the tunnel, one with more worthwhile experiences than they imagined.

Here’s the problem with that mentality, though: the future never arrives. You’ll only ever find yourself in the present moment. I know this may sound a bit philosophical and woo-woo, but it’s true. You’re never going to find yourself in that far-reaching future; even when you get there it’ll still be now.

The only way to control your future is to control the present moment, brother. Whatever you hope to achieve in the future, take steps to achieve that today. Too many people view the future as a destination, an arrival point they’ll reach one day where all their hopes and dreams are fulfilled.

Sure, that may happen. You can take steps to set yourself up for the situation you want to live in. But at the same time, nothing is guaranteed. You could do everything necessary to build a successful life but there are always uncontrollable or unpredictable factors at play. And you never know when they’ll step in to disrupt your path.

You must release the false belief that your future is a destination. It only sets you up for failure. This is a more high-level approach for men who are new to the Porn Addiction Counseling – Reboot system. It’s not easy to view the world this way and may even strengthen your sense of apathy if you haven’t yet gained a good hold on it. But it’s also one of the most freeing ways to move through life.

When you finally recognize that today is the only day you’ll ever have, you begin to approach each one with hope, enthusiasm, and love. Every moment becomes more precious to you. You embrace the fact that you never know when it will all be over and come to appreciate the true beauty of each day.

I challenge you to shift your perspective and take this approach today. I want to offer encouragement to my brothers who may feel down and out right now. There is hope and healing in the Porn Reboot program, something that seems so far off and impossible at times. But I promise you that we’re a group of men who have a solution that we used to think was impossible, too. I invite you to join us today.

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Developing Standards in Porn Addiction Recovery

Porn Addiction Recovery / By J.K Emezi

What are some of the standards you live by?

If you aren’t sure what standards are, you’re far from alone. The way I see it is if values and principles are the building blocks of your life, then standards are the final structure you’re working toward. Developing a strong set of standards is crucial if you want to be successful in your reboot.

There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding the terms values, principles, and standards. People often think they’re the same thing. While all three are similar and related, there are unique differences that separate them, too.

Values are your long-lasting beliefs on certain issues that are important to you. They are essentially the foundation of your principles. Some examples of values are things like compassion, integrity, generosity, and patience.

Principles, on the other hand, are indisputable, unchanging rules that are based on your values. For instance, principles are things like treating others the way you want to be treated, or not getting involved with women in your workplace.

Standards are actions and behaviors that you expect yourself to live up to based on your values and principles. This includes working hard, being rigorously honest, committing to your physical well-being, supporting your family, and so on.

I notice that people tend to adopt values, principles, or standards because they sound cool. Maybe a cool influencer or someone you look up to in life said them. However, if that value, principle, or standard doesn’t actually align with your truth, it won’t hold up over time. These things are all very personal and aren’t something you simply pick up from someone else.

Everyone has a different way of thinking and believing. Each person’s value system is shaped by a variety of factors like the area they were born in, the society they were raised in, the family and friends they grew up around, and more.

At first, you inevitably adopt the values, principles, and standards of those around you. But over time, you may start to recognize where those things don’t truly align with your thoughts and beliefs. You develop your own set of values, principles, and standards as you grow up, a set that works for you.

How do values, principles, and standards play a role in ending your out-of-control behavior with pornography and masturbation? Some of these things will have to do with your path in the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot system. For example, going to the strip club with your buddies used to not be that big of a deal. But now you’ll likely need to adopt a new standard that eliminates things like this from your life.

Additionally, people who don’t struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors generally have a bit more leeway in their lives. They may be able to push the limits of their adherence to principles without much thought or consequence. But if you find yourself out of alignment with your values, principles, and standards, you’ll also find yourself at a greater risk of slipping or relapsing.

This is the result of living dishonestly. Going against your values, principles, and standards, or adopting them from someone else instead of determining them for yourself, is dishonest. You’re the only one who can decide what path is right for you. If you choose to live by someone else’s standards, you’ll forever live a substandard life.

I want you to keep a few things in mind as you begin to consider the framework within which you want to live your life after you reboot:

You must create personal standards that you adhere to at all times. You cannot live a directionless life if you want to reboot successfully. Your standards inform your entire life, from the job you take to the people you spend time with. If you don’t have standards, you’ll be left to the whims of wherever life blows you.

You must recognize that standards are not the same thing as goals. Many men mistake standards for goals, but they’re different things. Standards are not ideals to work toward achieving in the future; they are things that drive the course of your life in each moment of every day. You should run every decision through your list of standards before following through with it.

Your standards are yours and yours alone, and you cannot impose them on others. Again, values, principles, and standards are all very personal things. You cannot move through life expecting everyone to adhere to your approach. This only sets you up for failure and lasting resentment. Live by your standards and leave others to behave as they see fit.
Standards are for personal fulfillment, not for impressing other people. Do not outline standards you think will “look good” to others. This is only another form of dishonesty. Outline standards that leave you feeling personally fulfilled. They should be a framework for living that lets you put your head on the pillow at night knowing you’ve been true to yourself throughout the day.

Ultimately, the most important part of living a successful life is ensuring that your thoughts and actions align with your beliefs. Developing and living by a strong set of standards is the most efficient and effective way to do this. If you want to be successful in the Porn Reboot program, setting these standards now is a crucial part of the process.

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Defeating Apathy While Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

I’ve had countless brothers in the group who insist on counting days.

Anyone who has been around the Porn Reboot program for a while knows how I feel about counting days. Still, some men hold onto their streaks as though they’re a helpful or meaningful approach to overcoming out-of-control behavior.

After nearly 15 years of working with men trying to end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, though, I know this tactic doesn’t work. Counting days only builds expectations and apathy. Expectations for what your life “should” look like after a certain point and apathy when that time arrives and it doesn’t look that way at all. Counting days is an arbitrary marker that offers no meaningful insight into progress.

Consider a couple that has been married for 40 years. Sure, from the outside looking in it may seem like they have all the answers. After all, they’ve stayed together this long, right? But what if their marriage isn’t a happy one? They may have amassed a few decades alongside one another but that doesn’t mean their marriage is successful.

Or take a man with a 20-year career making six figures per year. You would assume that after all this time he has an incredible savings account, a hefty investment portfolio, and can retire comfortably. However, if he’s done nothing to be intentional with his money, he’ll be far worse off than you might think. Many men with decades of six-figure incomes have nothing to show for them.

The same applies to counting porn-free days. You can collect days, weeks, months, or years, but they’re worthless if you do nothing to better yourself. There’s a reason the Porn Reboot system is more intensive than other approaches; we provide you with a path to a fulfilling life.

You’ll gain nothing from quitting porn without taking any steps to better yourself in other areas. Quitting porn does not automatically bolster your social life, broaden your career opportunities, or strengthen your relationships. All it does is provide you with more free time that was once occupied by countless tabs and endless videos.

What will you do with all of that time?

Defeating apathy while quitting porn requires intention. You can’t stop porn addiction problems and expect your life to get better without putting in any work. Counting days does nothing to bring about change. You have to put in the work to shift your perspective and build the life you want to live.

This intentional approach is one of the first steps to overcoming the sense of apathy that settles in after you quit porn. And it doesn’t happen immediately. You can’t expect to join the Porn Reboot program and notice a difference by next Wednesday. You have to commit to the process and trust that you’ll find freedom, much like other men who have come before you.

It may seem impossible to escape your sense of apathy but I promise there’s a solution. It might take time to relinquish your old thought patterns and embrace this new way of thinking, but the time it takes will be worth it. You’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish in only a few short months of intentional practice. And if you’re going to quit porn anyways, why not do it in a way that offers the most promising outcome?

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3 Things More Important Than Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

This might come as a surprise to you but quitting porn isn’t the most important thing you can do.

I know that it might sound strange coming from a man who built his life around helping other men end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But there are some other things you must consider when quitting porn, too.

I don’t emphasize those things immediately because most brothers arrive at the Porn Reboot program with skewed priorities. They believe that their porn use and compulsive sexual behavior are what causes all of their problems. Sure, these things are likely the primary problems in a man’s life when he finds Porn Reboot. But overcoming these problems requires more than just focusing on his behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The three things more important than quitting porn are finances, fitness, and your relationships with women. You can eliminate porn addiction problems from your life but if you don’t address these three things then you’ll still find yourself struggling. Quitting porn doesn’t rewire your brain. Working on these three aspects of life is what kicks off and continues the reboot process.

How does each of these aspects play into your reboot?

Finances

I’m sure you know the timeless phrase, “Money can’t buy happiness.” While there’s some truth to that statement, there’s also a lot of nonsense about it. Money can’t buy happiness but you do need it to have a life that’s worth living. You can’t shuck off money completely and pretend like it has no use.

You need enough money to cover your basic needs and also enough surplus to get some of the things you want. Money is the thing that allows you freedom. It gets you out of situations and circumstances you may have grown up in, or those you found yourself in after years of porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

Regardless of the reasons, getting your finances in order must be a priority. You need money to build a life worth living after ending your out-of-control behavior. From bills to food to hobbies to dates, money is a necessity for a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Fitness

Your health and fitness are another crucial part of a fulfilling reboot. You can take control of your fitness long before gaining control over your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Getting in shape is an automatic way to boost your confidence and begin building self-esteem.

Fitness was the first thing I prioritized when I decided to take the steps to end my out-of-control behavior once and for all. I was six feet tall but weighed maybe 130 pounds at most. I looked pathetic and that was reflected in the way I carried myself. Lifting weights was the first thing I did to begin my reboot process.

I put on some significant size within that first year and have continued prioritizing the gym ever since. The impact on my confidence was immediate and only grew with time. I highly recommend prioritizing your health and fitness as you begin the reboot process. The effects are noticeable even if you continue struggling with your compulsive sexual behavior.

Relationships with Women

Your relationships with women are the third thing that is just as important, if not more important, than quitting porn. Porn addiction problem destroys your ability to connect with a woman, build a fulfilling relationship, and develop intimacy. It makes you view women as objects instead of actual people.

While struggling with your porn use will hold you back from building these relationships, you can still begin the process. Learning to develop these relationships starts with learning to be social again. You’ve likely withdrawn from friends and social events in general over the years. You need to spend time with your buddies and get back out into the world.

Start striking up conversations with women when you’re out with your friends. Try to detach from the inevitable end goal of getting with her and just try to hold a conversation. Ask her questions, ask more questions about her answers, and see how long you can talk with her. All it takes to build relationships is learning to listen and have a conversation instead of talking at people without waiting for their input.

Quitting Porn Over Time

Ultimately, quitting porn is the goal you want to remember. Finances, fitness, and building relationships with women are all important parts of the process. However, if you don’t end your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, not much of it will be useful in the long run.

However, the less you focus only on quitting porn, and the more you focus on these other aspects, the more successful you will be. You’ll find yourself building a life worth living, one that doesn’t require you to retreat into a world of compulsive masturbation and porn use.

The Porn Reboot system is crucial for helping you develop the necessary tools and skills. Over time, you’ll build a foundation for lasting porn addiction recovery from your out-of-control behavior. If you commit to the Porn Reboot process today, I guarantee your life will be unrecognizable in two years. You have everything it takes to end your behavior, brother; all you need to do is take that first step.

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Clarifying Masculine Traits: Embracing True Strength

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

I believe there are many misconceptions surrounding the concept of masculinity today.

Articles about dark masculinity or toxic masculinity have made their way into thousands of publications. I think this has created a ton of misunderstanding of what true masculinity is.

I’m not saying that there are no harmful men. There are plenty of toxic individual men, but that doesn’t make masculinity toxic as a whole. Men who didn’t have strong male figures in their lives and no one was there to help them control and channel their energy. This lack of guidance led these men to hurt and harm others, creating the idea that all masculinity is toxic.

But masculinity in and of itself is not a negative thing. Many positive things have come from strong masculine traits. I want to outline some of these traits, so even if you lack a positive male figure in your life, you can begin cultivating and strengthening these traits.

Courage

Courage is the baseline of every masculine man. It means doing something despite your fear. Courage is what led to colonization, civilization, and triumph over evil. It’s a necessary trait because you need to take action even when you’re fearful. You can’t allow your fears to hold you back from doing what’s right and pursuing the life you want to lead.

Strength

Strength is a crucial masculine trait that you must embody. This includes physical strength, emotional strength, and psychological strength. You must be able to defend yourself and your loved ones. You must be able to maintain an even emotional keel when you feel stressed, frustrated, or annoyed. And you must be able to persevere through tough times.

Independence

Independence of thought and action are important masculine traits to embrace. Men should have the confidence to think and act for themselves. You shouldn’t allow others to sway you from your beliefs. That doesn’t mean you should act in an echo chamber and disregard constructive criticism. But it does mean that you shouldn’t let others do your thinking for you.

Leadership

Leadership is another vital masculine trait. However, too many men have an incorrect idea of what leadership means. Being a leader doesn’t mean controlling other people. It means guiding others by example and commanding respect as a result. And even if you aren’t a naturally born leader, it is something you can learn to become over time.

Consistency

Consistency is the final trait I want to emphasize today. Anyone can express courage, strength, independence, and leadership occasionally. True masculinity requires consistency. The more you practice these traits, the more you’ll embody them over time. Men who are consistently courageous, strong, independent leaders are necessary for a successful society. No one can stop you once you learn to be consistent with your actions.

Embracing Masculinity

Your masculinity is an inherent part of who you are, not something to be stifled or rejected. But embracing a healthy balance of masculine traits can feel challenging at first. This is especially true if you’re a man who didn’t have a strong male role model growing up. But it’s an important part of the reboot process.

As you move through the Porn Addiction Counseling, you have plenty of opportunities to work on these masculine traits. They all add up to a successful porn addiction recovery. If embracing masculinity is new to you, I recommend picking up a copy of The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It’s a fantastic work that outlines the importance of masculinity and why we need strong men in the world. There’s nothing toxic about masculinity, brother; it’s what you do with those traits that determines who you are.

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When Should You Seek Porn Addiction Counseling?

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

What do you think of when you think of getting help for mental health problems?

If you answered counseling, you’re like the majority of people throughout the country.

Counseling is the go-to solution for a wide range of mental health struggles. From depression and anxiety to bipolar disorder and substance use disorder, counseling is a primary form of treatment. Working through problems in a safe environment where you can express your deepest thoughts is a crucial part of healing.

It would make sense to think that porn addiction counseling is a go-to method for overcoming compulsive problems with porn and masturbation too, right? While many people seek the help of counselors, therapists, and psychologists for their porn addiction, I don’t fully agree with the practice.

Look through any medical journal and you’ll still find a plethora of conflicting opinions on the “validity” of porn addiction. Some clinicians suggest that pornography addiction isn’t really an addiction at all. They propose various other explanations for this type of compulsive behavior.

Some people who seek porn addiction counseling receive a much different service than they anticipated. I find that too many therapists dig too deep into underlying causes while neglecting to put enough focus on porn itself. How does counseling for pornography addiction typically work for people struggling to control their porn use?

Porn Addiction and Mental Health Treatment

Mental health treatment still seems to have mixed views and beliefs about pornography addiction. For example, the World Health Organization confirmed compulsive sexual behavior as a mental disorder in 2019.1 Although they did not specify porn addiction as a diagnosis, they do refer to repetitive sexual behaviors.

However, the American Psychiatric Association continues to reject compulsive sexual behavior as a diagnosable condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).2 The DSM is the psychologist’s version of the Bible, yet it still does not recognize porn addiction, or general compulsive sexual behavior, as a “real” problem.

Should You Seek Porn Addiction Counseling?

The same confusion and mixed beliefs are rampant in the counseling community. Many brothers who are part of the Porn Reboot program initially sought a solution from therapists and counselors. They believed that a counselor could help them with their problem, and understandably so.

However, porn addiction counseling often turns out to not be the same helpful solution it should be. Counselors dig into root causes and often derail men from receiving an actionable solution. This is especially important for men struggling with illegal or harmful genres of porn or compulsive sexual behaviors.

During the years of working with men to help them overcome their compulsive sexual behavior, I’ve found that immediate action is often necessary. The root causes and deep-seated issues can be handled at a later date; their porn addiction and the fallout it’s creating is the most pressing issue in the beginning.

Porn Addiction Counseling Alternatives

As clinicians continue disagreeing on the truth of porn addiction, it holds people back from the help they desperately need. Thankfully, there are some alternatives to porn addiction counseling that seem to be more effective.

One option is porn addiction recovery groups, such as 12-step groups. These programs outline a path of recovery from porn addiction, as well as other substance and behavioral addictions. While they are not my preferred method for overcoming porn addiction, they do help thousands of people every year.

Online communities are another form of finding support when trying to overcome porn addiction. Oftentimes these groups are filled with people using methods like NoFap or semen retention. These forced abstinence approaches are somewhat closer to a more effective approach, but I still find they miss the mark in providing actionable help for lasting results.

Porn Reboot vs. Porn Addiction Counseling

The Porn Reboot program is the only thing that has helped me in my journey to end my out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Porn addiction counseling and therapy weren’t helpful. NoFap proved unsuccessful. I tried the willpower method, too, and failed every time.

I developed the Porn Reboot system through my own experiences by trial and error. I assessed what worked and what didn’t, and developed a system from it. I realized that all efforts to control my porn addiction problems through willpower were of no use. I needed to work with my body instead of against it.

This led to the Porn Reboot system that’s used today by thousands of men. It has helped men end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. It has equipped them with the tools to rebuild the lives that porn addiction stole from them. It has enabled them to develop strong relationships, perform in exceptional careers, and become standup members of their communities.

The Porn Reboot system can help you, too. If you’re wondering whether porn addiction counseling is for you, I invite you to join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. Find out what we’re about and see whether our approach may work for you, too. We’ll ensure you never need to struggle alone again, brother; we’ll be here every step of the way.

References

National Center on Sexual Exploitation. (2019). World Health Organization Confirms Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder to be in ICD-11.
Addiction. (2016). Diagnosis of hypersexual or compulsive sexual behavior can be made using ICD-10 and DSM-5 despite rejection of this diagnosis by the American Psychiatric Association.

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Using Your Morning Routine to Eliminate Negative Emotions

How To Stop Porn Addiction / By J.K Emezi

What does a typical morning look like for you?

Do you get up on your first alarm or do you hit the snooze button a few times? Do you leave yourself time to settle into the day or do you hustle straight from bed to the car to the first thing on your schedule? Do you have a morning routine in place or is each morning a haphazard attempt to get your day started as quickly as possible?

Be honest.

If you’re like most men at the start of their reboot, you probably sleep as late as possible and rush out the door. You don’t use your mornings to set the pace for your day; you’re hardly even awake and intentional with them in the first place.

Morning routines may sound a bit played out at this point. It seems like everyone worth anything has at least some sort of morning routine in place. But perhaps that’s the case because there’s something to be said about morning routines.

I believe that starting your morning intentionally with a set routine is one of the most effective ways to have a good day. Over time I’ve found that they’re a powerful tool for a successful reboot, useful for improving mindfulness, eliminating negative emotions, and more. A reboot routine is specifically designed for you to control your day and get the most out of each one.

If you’re intentional about your mornings, you can start every day with a blank slate in your mind. It takes practice and consistency but it’s the most effective way to operate. Here are some tips to get you started as you start developing a morning routine.

No Electronics

I avoid my phone entirely when I first wake up. No texting, no emails, no social media, not even my calendar app. If you’re the type of guy who wakes up in the morning and scrolls through Instagram, Facebook, or the news first thing, you need to stop. All this does is transform your blank slate into an ever-expanding to-do list. Additionally, any negativity you consume in the morning can set the pace for the remainder of your day. Electronics are strictly off-limits for me for the first hour of the day.

Meditate in the Morning

Meditation is a crucial part of the reboot process for many men. One of the best tips I have to offer is to practice meditation in the morning before the day has a chance to get away from you. Consistent morning practice will contribute to that blank slate we’re hoping to achieve from the morning routine process. If you want to incorporate meditation into your day, I recommend you do it in the morning just like I do.

Start Your Days Quietly

Other than my alarm, I don’t listen to anything during the earliest part of my day. I don’t put on music or podcasts or even white noise. I allow myself to sit in the silence of the morning as I move through the first few aspects of my morning routine. It’s not until those things are completed that I take my phone out, and even then it’s only to put my headphones in and listen to affirmations. Those affirmations are the first thing I hear each morning before I head to the gym.

Recognize That Your Routine Is an Investment

How to stop porn addiction?

Martin Luther, a famous Protestant reformer, said something that I’ve always remembered: “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours of the day in prayer.” I’m sure that sounds insane and counterproductive when you first hear it, but it’s true. The more time you set aside to get your mind right in the morning, the less time you’ll waste throughout the day.

I find that to be true for my morning routine. Every minute I invest pays itself back as I move smoothly and successfully through my day. If you haven’t taken the time to establish and follow through on a morning routine, I highly recommend you try it.

Take a few of these tips and find some practices that work for you. Make adjustments until you find a combination that sends you into the most effective day possible. There’s power in a morning routine, brother; harness it and use it to your advantage.

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Does Your Reboot Need to Be a Priority?

Porn Addiction Recovery / By J.K Emezi

I recently had a one-on-one with a brother who brought up a very interesting point I want to cover here today. This brother is in the middle stage of his reboot. He’s doing well in most aspects of his reboot but still struggles to control his behavior with porn and masturbation.

However, he’s so focused on his slips that he can’t see all the progress he’s making in other areas. No matter what positives I pointed out, he couldn’t recognize the improvements in his career, his relationship, and his finances. He firmly believed that unless he was completely and totally free from porn, no other improvements mattered.

As we talked, it came up that in the past he came across Gary Wilson, one of the early greats in the realm of porn addiction. If you aren’t already familiar, he’s the one who developed concepts like “Your Brain on Porn” and “NoFap.” While I have great respect for the work he did to bring awareness to the detriments of porn, he and I differ in a few areas of thought.

One of the primary differences between our views on porn addiction recovery is his abstinence-only approach. His programs focus so heavily on a man’s porn addiction problem that they neglect to see the importance of simultaneously building up other areas of your life. They didn’t talk about things like relationships, social life, financial well-being, physical health, and mental health.

This led our brother, and thousands of others like him, to view his slips as meaning his entire reboot was a failure. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t blowing his paychecks the day they arrived, that he wasn’t neglecting his girlfriend, or that he was finally showing up to work on time. No, the few slips here and there meant the whole reboot was unsuccessful.

I don’t adhere to that thought. I’m not saying that you should continue watching porn, jerking off, and having compulsive sex during your reboot. The whole point of the Porn Reboot program is to rewire your brain so you can separate from these out-of-control behaviors. I am saying that putting all the emphasis on porn and ignoring progress in other areas is a recipe for disaster.

Yes, your reboot needs to be a priority. But when I say your reboot, I mean the whole reboot process. I mean building physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual reboot capital. I mean your morning routine, meditation, journaling, and getting to the gym. I mean spending time with your partner, being a good employee, and checking in with your accountability partner.

All of these things are just as important as whether you view porn or not. Do you know why? Because if you only based your success on whether you slipped or relapsed, you would destroy your self-esteem.

You’re here because of your problem with porn, sex, and masturbation, brother. You won’t end those things all at once right away. You spend years developing those habits and it will take at least a few months to end them. As I often talk about, even though I don’t support “counting days”, it takes at least 90 days to reboot and up to two years to fully rewire your brain.

Men with high self-esteem are less likely to act out sexually than men with low self-esteem. If you don’t measure success in these other areas alongside your compulsive behavior, you will feel like you’re a failure. We want to build your self-esteem, not tear it down. And incorporating your reboot capital as a benchmark of success is a crucial way to do that.

There was no Porn Reboot system when I worked to end my out-of-control behavior. My experiences were the original case study for the program. While I couldn’t quit watching porn and jerking off, I knew there had to be other things I could do in the meantime. Trying to measure my success by my time away from porn made me feel worse and worse.

Instead, I first focused on building my physique. I was 21, tall, and lanky. I felt weak. I didn’t feel attractive. But I recognized that there were more resources on building a strong physique than quitting porn, so I started there. I stuck to a meal plan, lifted weights progressively, and within 90 days my body began to change. Within a year I put on some significant size. And the reactions from people boosted my confidence. I still struggled with my out-of-control behavior, but I finally had something to feel proud of.

Then I shifted my focus to my social anxiety. I was so uncomfortable around people in public, both men and women, and knew it was something I needed to overcome. So I began the process by interacting with people at the bar to learn to hold conversations. As I learned to converse, I started asking some of the women I talked with on dates. It was a slow process but my progress was as evident as it was when working on my physique.

I didn’t stop working on controlling my behavior with porn during this time. I still dealt with slips and relapses, but they became less frequent as I gained confidence. I realized that by focusing on things other than porn, porn naturally became less of a problem. This led to my concept for the Porn Reboot system that thousands of men use today.

So again, brother, yes, your reboot needs to be a priority. Your compulsive behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation brought you here. Obviously, things are not going well and you want to control your behavior. But I encourage you to make your entire reboot a priority, not just the aspects that have to do with your porn problem.

I watched the process work for myself and the many men I’ve worked with during the years. You’re far from alone in dealing with this struggle, brother. You’ve landed among a community of men who know exactly what you’re going through. If you haven’t already, I invite you to join our FREE Porn Reboot Facebook group. Start there and read through some experiences. You’ll find others rebuilding their lives, from work to relationships to their physique and more.

Come join us on our Porn Addiction Counseling as we make our reboots a priority in all aspects of our lives.

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Positive Aspects of Porn Addiction

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

I know that probably sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Positive aspects of porn addiction? How could something so detrimental to your life and the lives of your loved ones have anything positive to it? What could possibly be a benefit of porn addiction?

It’s not difficult to understand why porn addiction is a bad thing. I’m guessing you didn’t arrive at this channel because your life was going great. It doesn’t matter whether you’re addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, or pornography; addiction in any form is detrimental to your wellbeing.

Porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior have the power to destroy your life. They deteriorate your mind, shatter your relationships, break down your career, and more. You don’t have to look very far to see the negative effects of pornography. The same goes for any other addiction you may struggle with.

However, you can’t overcome porn addiction by only looking at the negative aspects. You must also recognize the positive aspects of porn addiction. I know this might sound a little nuts, especially coming from a guy who dedicated his life to helping men end their compulsive behavior with pornography. But stick with me for a bit.

Most men who struggle with porn usually started watching it when they were younger. By the time they reach their teenage years it’s a fully-established problem. That was my personal experience, too. I was first exposed to pornography when I was eight, and I was a full-blown porn addict by the time I was 13.

Although I don’t recommend that young men begin watching porn, I now see the positive aspects that porn had when I was young. There were some beneficial parts of my porn use, despite the long-term destruction it caused.

Porn became my go-to coping strategy for dealing with the difficult emotions of being a teenager. It helped me handle stress and provided me with comfort when things felt out of control. Porn also taught me about sex and helped me understand what it was. It allowed me to learn about myself sexually during those formative adolescent years.

After I crossed a certain point, though, I wore out the positives of my porn use. While it was useful to a certain extent, it wasn’t helpful in the long run. From then on my porn use became more and more habitual, harmful, and destructive.

When you only view porn as a horrible, awful, negative thing, it further instills feelings of guilt and shame that keep you trapped in the porn addiction effect cycle. You can’t force yourself to overcome your behavior by fighting it with willpower. Your brain doesn’t work that way.

Instead, recognizing the positive parts of your porn use and realizing why you started using it in the first place will help you. You’ll see that while it started innocently enough, it grew to become something much more detrimental than you ever intended it to be.

You’re not a bad person because of your out-of-control behavior, but you do need to take responsibility for it and make a change. Take this reframed understanding and use it to your advantage. This small perspective shift may be the key to helping you move forward in your porn addiction recovery.

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