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J.K Emezi

The Most Detrimental Porn Addiction Problems

Porn Addiction Problems / By
The Most Detrimental Porn Addiction Problems

Pornography is a central part of society today.

Although people don’t explicitly talk about it, millions of people view porn around the world. Instant access to high-speed internet pornography has created a massive issue among men and women of all ages.

Over the last two decades, attitudes towards pornography have relaxed. It’s almost expected that everyone consumes some form of porn. And the numbers back up that assumption. More than 92 million people access Pornhub every day, breaking down to 63,992 visitors per second.1 Porn sites rank among the top most-visited sites on the entirety of the world wide web. 

Instant access to high-speed pornography has created serious porn addiction problems in society. Addiction to pornography is on the rise and it impacts every area of life. From relationships to careers to finances and more, porn addiction can infiltrate and destroy every aspect. How does compulsive porn use affect a person’s life?

What Are Some Porn Addiction Problems?

While using porn isn’t particularly healthy in many circumstances, porn addiction adds another layer of complication. Porn addiction problems affect not only those who consume it but the people who produce it, along with the industry as a whole. What are some of the problems caused by porn addiction?

Problems for Porn Users

The most straightforward and self-explanatory porn addiction problem is less satisfaction with sex in real life. Porn eliminates all intimacy, strips down relationship-building to the bare essentials, and ultimately establishes false expectations. Think about any “storyline” you’ve seen in a pornographic film; how closely does that align with reality?

Pornography deteriorates a person’s ability to build healthy relationships. It causes men to view women as objects rather than whole people with their own wants and needs. Women become a tool for men to use for pleasure, not a person.

Additionally, the more porn a man watches, the more he must think about porn to maintain arousal during intercourse.2 Traditional sex becomes less arousing after watching porn for months or years. Sex in real life becomes less engaging when you’re used to seeing every possible fantasy play out on the screen in front of you. 

Porn addiction problems expand to other areas of life, too. Your career is impacted when you repeatedly show up for work late after staying up all night watching porn. This affects your financial well-being, especially if you blow a business deal or end up losing your job. 

Pornography addiction symptoms also affect your marriage, your family, and your friendships. They affect your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Porn addiction effects impact your self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall self-image. Ultimately, pornography touches upon every aspect of your life.

Problems in the Industry

Porn addiction problems aren’t limited to the people who watch it; they also affect those who participate in its production. There are countless problems plaguing the porn industry from casting to producing to distributing.

One of the primary problems that porn addiction creates within the porn industry is the demand for increasingly extreme genres. As people consume more porn, they become desensitized to what they’re watching on screen. They need more intense scenes and situations to feel aroused.

While it’s easy to separate from people in porn scenes, they are real people acting out what you watch on screen. This means everything you watch on screen was something a real person had to experience for your pleasure. Violence against women dominates the porn industry, with upwards of 95% of aggression in porn scenes directed at women.

That violence also carries back into real life. People begin to believe that women really want what they see on the screen and some bring it into their sexual encounters. For example, one study shows that 59% of women have experienced slapping, biting, or hair-pulling during consensual sexual intercourse.

Human trafficking is another major porn addiction problem experienced in the industry. Pornography “talent” must come from somewhere, and not everyone is interested in participating. The amount of human trafficking that occurs because of the porn industry is astounding.

How to Quit Porn Addiction

With all the problems caused by porn addiction, it’s difficult to see why someone would still engage. However, it is a serious and progressive problem, and knowing how to stop porn addiction is a difficult thing to learn. Porn addiction withdrawal often keeps men trapped in an unwanted cycle of compulsive porn, sex, and masturbation.

Thankfully, our porn addiction recovery program which is the Porn Reboot system offers a pathway to escape the porn addiction cycle. You can quit your porn addiction and never feel the need to rely on porn again. Porn Reboot is a system that works with your biology to help you overcome your dependence on porn. By rebuilding the areas of your life that porn took away, you’ll find freedom from the grips of porn addiction.

References

  1. Enough is Enough. (2021). Pornography.
  2. Archives of Sexual Behavior. (2016). Pornography and the Male Sexual Script.
  3. Violence Against Women. (2010). Aggression and sexual behavior in best-selling pornography videos.
  4. Savanta ComRes. (2019). Survey of UK women aged 18-39 on their experiences during consensual sexual intercourse.

 

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Building Physique: Fitness Journey and Self-Esteem

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
How i Built My Physique

This may seem a bit random but fitness is a common topic of conversation in the Porn Reboot group.

While it isn’t directly related to porn addiction recovery, it is a primary part of most men’s reboots. Building physical reboot capital is an important part of the overall porn addiction counseling reboot process. So I’m finally answering the question I often receive: “J.K., how did you build your physique?”

Firstly, I want to start by saying I’m not a personal trainer. I’m not certified to teach anything related to physical fitness. I don’t have any special education or credentials when it comes to nutrition or lifting weights. I can only speak from my experience as someone who has worked out since he was 17 years old. 

Second, I also want to remind you that everyone is different. While the same basic principles of lifting and eating apply to everyone, each person has slightly varying needs. What worked for me may not work for you and vice versa. Ultimately, take my story as one of the many paths to physical well-being, but it may be the path that gets you started on a journey of your own.

Again, my interest in fitness started when I was 17. I was tall, lanky, and looked like a beanpole. My scrawny physique was a huge source of insecurity. I knew that if I built myself up and put on some muscle, though, people would look at me differently. I was awkward and couldn’t control my porn use but knew that I could do something about my physique.

I started by going to the gym and focusing on the compound lifts. That means squats, bench press, overhead press, and deadlifts. I knew that if I increased the weight I lifted, my body composition would have to follow suit. How many small guys can bench 225 pounds?

I also knew that I needed to eat to put on size. While today it’s considered bro science, when I first started lifting I learned that I was a “hard-gainer”. This meant I needed to eat a ton of food to gain weight. I cleaned up my diet to consist of traditional bodybuilder-type foods and I ate. It took a lot of food to keep me fueled up for my workouts and putting on size steadily.

After about 9 months of consistent lifting and eating, people started to notice the changes. My friends pointed out that I was getting bigger and strangers commented on how I looked. Although I still struggled with my out-of-control behavior, I now had an aspect of my life I could control. And it helped me build my self-esteem.

 

Once I built a solid frame, I then shifted my focus from compound movements to isolated movements. These include things like bicep curls, tricep extensions, lateral raises, and such. They’re movements that focus primarily on a single muscle to help build it up. I worked on muscle groups that were lacking to build a more well-rounded physique.

Writing it out makes it sound so simple and, honestly, it really is. Building a physique isn’t this big complicated ordeal that many fitness influencers would have you believe. You don’t need the latest and greatest equipment. You don’t need hundreds of dollars worth of supplements. You don’t need any performance-enhancing drugs, either. All you need is some weight, some food, and some consistency.

I still go to the gym regularly to this day. My routine has shifted over the years to accommodate changing interests, such as martial arts or bodyweight exercises, but the basics are the same. Lift hard, eat well, and focus on recovery. It takes time for changes to occur but if you commit to the process, you’ll find your physique grows, too.

It’s also a vital part of the general porn addiction recovery process. I don’t mean building up a massive physique, but I do mean some type of physical fitness. You should be lifting weights, playing a sport, or participating in some other kind of activity. Trying to quit porn without getting your energy out will leave you spinning in circles.

Join us in the Porn Reboot Facebook group to see what other brothers are doing for their fitness. Share your experiences with us and let us know where you’re at in your fitness journey. We’re always working together to become better men free from the chains of our out-of-control behavior. I invite you to join us today.

 

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Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Loss of Concentration

Porn Addiction Recovery / By
Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Loss of Concentration

Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.

Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction symptoms I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:

  • Loss of concentration
  • Depression
  • Lack of romance
  • Lack of achievement
  • Low energy
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Unusual porn fetishes
  • No attraction to real-life partners
  • Loss of ability to orgasm during sex

Loss of concentration is one of the most common porn addiction symptoms. It’s also one of the most debilitating because it affects almost every area of your life. Your mind cannot focus on people, places, and experiences in front of you when it’s preoccupied thinking about porn, sex, or masturbation.

You may notice that loss of concentration affects your performance at school or work. It often holds you back from fully engaging with your spouse or children. Loss of concentration from porn addiction impacts your friendships and relationships with colleagues, coworkers, or business partners, too.

If you notice you struggle to focus on tasks for long periods, have ADHD-like symptoms, or find yourself zoning out constantly, this may be a loss of concentration caused by your porn use. The longer you go without working through your porn problem, the worse your concentration problem will become.

Thankfully, you can rebuild your concentration skills over time. It won’t happen overnight but there are different ways to strengthen your attention once you end your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Learning to concentrate fully on the people in front of you and the tasks at hand makes for a more enjoyable, fulfilling life.

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Overcoming the Alarming Porn Addiction Effects

Porn Addiction Effect / By
Overcoming the Alarming Porn Addiction Effects

You read that right – kids and adults.

You have to consider all ages when considering porn addiction effects. It’s horrifying to think that kids have seen pornographic images and videos, but that is the reality for millions of young people. Statistics show that 1 in 10 children under the age of 10 has been exposed to pornography. Further, 93% of boys and 62% of girls have viewed internet porn before the age of 18.

Exposure to pornography during adolescence can cause a range of difficulties, including porn addiction. And oftentimes the porn addiction effects experienced in adulthood are the result of viewing pornography during formative adolescent years. The effects of porn addiction can cause lasting damage to a person’s relationship, career, and more.

What are some porn addiction effects? How do porn addiction problems develop? When you struggle with pornography addiction, is there hope? Thankfully, learning more about the effects of porn addiction is the first step toward finding help.

How Porn Addiction Develops

Porn used to be difficult to come by, especially for young people. You had to purchase a magazine or rent a video from an adult store but that was about as far as your options went. With the advent of the internet, though, pornography became easier to access. As internet speeds increased, so did access to an ever-expanding library of porn.

Porn addiction problems don’t develop overnight, though. Most people don’t find themselves hooked the first time they open up a browser tab. Instead, it’s something that sets in over time. What starts as an innocent way to get off can eventually become a bigger problem than you realize.

For example, some young men begin viewing pornography around the time puberty starts. It serves as a way to learn about sex in the privacy of their bedroom. However, while porn never becomes a problem for some, it becomes a go-to dopamine release and coping mechanism for others. It’s an on-demand way to feel good. Learning this at a young age and relying on it to cope with challenging emotions creates long-term porn addiction effects.

Porn Addiction Effects

Porn addiction affects all types of men from all walks of life. Young or old, rich or poor. It doesn’t care about your location, your career, or your family; it seeks to destroy you just the same. Porn addiction effects can range from mild to severe and depend on a wide range of factors. For example, a 17-year-old will not experience the same effects as a 52-year-old business executive. 

However, one of the most common porn addiction effects are the overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt. It’s hard for men to believe they could ever find themselves struggling with a porn addiction problem. And as porn use progresses, these feelings intensify. This is especially true for men who prefer extreme or even illegal genres. 

There are many more effects of porn addiction. Some men blow massive business opportunities or ruin their careers. Others destroy their marriages or harm their relationships with their children. Plenty of men sacrifice their financial stability, standing in their community, self-esteem, and more because of the effects of porn addiction.

Pornography Addiction: Is There Hope?

Considering the wide range of detrimental effects of pornography addiction, it’s difficult to see how there can be hope. If you’ve tried quitting porn for years and been unsuccessful, you may feel tempted to believe that you’ll never get over the problem. Porn addiction is an isolating and complicated condition, one that many doctors and psychologists still don’t completely understand.

Thankfully, there are some solutions once you start to notice pornography addiction symptoms. Porn doesn’t have to be the end of the road. You have various options available if you want to stop viewing porn or dealing with other compulsive sexual behaviors. These include things like porn addiction counseling, porn addiction recovery, and the Porn Reboot system.

Porn Addiction Counseling

Porn addiction counseling is an option offered by some traditional counselors and therapists. However, not all of these professionals understand the intricacies of out-of-control sexual behavior. They may offer some conflicting guidance or even suggest that porn addiction is not a “real” problem. Take caution when seeking porn addiction counseling to ensure you find a provider that recognizes the porn addiction problems.

Porn Addiction Recovery

Porn addiction recovery through groups like 12-step programs is another option for treating porn addiction. They outline a path to recovery from porn addiction to keep you porn-free for the rest of your life. Some people find this approach beneficial and enjoy the community they find among porn addiction recovery groups.

Porn Reboot System

The Porn Reboot system is a proprietary approach to porn addiction recovery. It is a method tried and tested by hundreds of men over the last decade. Instead of using traditional therapeutic methods, the Porn Reboot system details a path to rebuild your life without needing to rely on porn to get by.

However, Porn Reboot is about more than quitting porn. It’s about building a life where porn addiction problems are no longer an issue. You won’t need to count days or spend your life in meetings. Instead, you’ll develop and enrich the areas of your life that your porn use held you back from. From your physical to spiritual to social well-being and beyond, Porn Reboot equips you with a solution that runs much deeper than porn addiction effects.

References

  1. NetNanny. (2017). The Detrimental Effects of Pornography on Small Children.
  2. The Family & Youth Institute. (2016). Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know.

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Phone Sex, Long-Distance Relationships, and Rebooting

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
Phone Sex, Long-Distance Relationships, and Rebooting

Long-distance relationships are never easy.

Making your partner feel loved and cared for requires more time, work, and attention when they live hours away from you. Maintaining a long-distance relationship while struggling with out-of-control sexual behavior is even more challenging.

One of the brothers in our Porn Reboot group recently asked about maintaining a long-distance relationship while in the middle of his reboot. His question focused on two main concerns: phone and video sex, and general reboot management while in a long-distance relationship.

When it comes to phone sex during your reboot, I believe the answer should always be no. This is especially true for video call sex on FaceTime or Skype. Even though it’s your partner on the other side of the screen, the experience is almost no different than other virtual forms of erotic stimulation. 

Your brain can’t tell the difference between your partner and any other pornstar on the screen. Sure, at face value you know that it’s the person you’re committed to. But at the same time, it’s a false sense of intimacy and connection. Engaging in video call sex, even with someone you’re in a committed relationship with, places you at risk of a porn addiction relapse.

An important part of the porn addiction recovery process is gearing your brain away from the preference for high-speed internet pornography and toward physical intimacy in real life. It’s difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship without a frequent sexual component. However, if you want to be successful in your reboot, you must avoid engaging in sexual stimulation through the phone.

That brings us to the general concern of maintaining a long-distance relationship while rebooting. Truthfully, I’m not the biggest supporter of long-distance relationships that last for years. I believe that they can be a serious threat to your reboot because they keep you from building the intimacy necessary to have a healthy relationship.

Long-distance relationships are challenging for people who don’t already have problems with porn addiction effects, sex, and masturbation. Men who can jerk off and go on with their day are better suited for these types of relationships. But brothers in the Porn Addiction Counseling are not able to have that luxury.

Learning to be physically intimate with a partner is an important part of the reboot process. Being in a relationship with someone who lives miles, hours, or even states away makes that harder to do. You cannot work on your physical intimacy when you only see your partner every so often. When you find yourself physically unsatisfied, you’re far more likely to turn to your out-of-control behavior for relief.

I believe that men who are rebooting should seek out relationships with women who live nearby. You shouldn’t have to drive more than an hour to meet up with the women you’re dating. There are so many hundreds of women in the world that limiting yourself to a long-distance relationship only adds unnecessary stress.

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Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Lack of Romance

Porn Addiction Symptoms / By
Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Lack of Romance

Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.

Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction symptoms I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:

  • Loss of concentration
  • Depression
  • Lack of romance
  • Lack of achievement
  • Low energy
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Unusual porn fetishes
  • No attraction to real-life partners
  • Loss of ability to orgasm during sex

It’s no secret that dating women or finding a girlfriend in this day and age is a challenge. The rise of dating apps and the decline of interest in commitment make for a brutal playing field. It is a disheartening game to play and men often feel like they’re at a disadvantage from the start.

This especially difficult dating world is to blame for the lack of romance in many different circumstances. But if you also have a problem with your pornography use, your lack of romance might be better attributed to porn addiction.

Exposure to pornography has serious effects on how attractive you find potential partners. Men who view lots of pornography frequently compare women they see in real life to women they watch on the screen. 

Some studies suggest that pornography can help relationships but my experience as a porn addiction recovery coach reveals the opposite. I’ve found that excessive exposure to pornography torpedos existing relationships or limits the possibility of developing intimacy in a new one.

Porn is completely void of romance. There is nothing intimate or romantic about pornography. And comparing women in real life to the women you see on the screen will only destroy your likelihood of finding and developing a romantic relationship. If you notice a lack of romance in your life, it might be time to reconsider your porn use.

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Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Lack of Achievement

Porn Addiction Symptoms / By
Top 10 Porn Addiction Symptoms: Lack of Achievement

Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.

Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction symptoms I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:

Be honest with yourself – how much did you accomplish in the last year before finding the Porn Reboot system? I’m guessing you didn’t do much with your life outside of the bare minimum needed to meet your responsibilities. Most of the men who arrive here have very little going for themselves other than what they have to do in a day.

I know that I honestly didn’t achieve anything when I was hooked on porn. Sure, I worked my butt off for years. Anyone who regularly reads the blog or listens to the podcast knows about my extensive experience in door-to-door sales. I showed up almost every day and worked as hard as I could while I was there, but I didn’t have much to show for it.

All of my free time was spent watching porn and that carried over into every other area of my life. I didn’t excel in anything; I merely achieved average results at best. My mind was preoccupied with my out-of-control behavior so I couldn’t give my all to anything outside of that. 

On the other hand, once I quit pornography and stayed off it, I achieved more than I had in several years. My productivity was amazing, my business expanded rapidly, my interpersonal skills soared, and my spiritual growth deepened. I could focus fully on what was in front of me and concentrate for longer periods which helped me accomplish more than I realized I was capable of. 

If you notice a lack of achievement in your life, it might have to do with your porn use. Limited or no achievement comes as a result of poor mental strength and a limited capacity for success. You’ll continue struggling until you learn to control your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

 

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Growing Your Reboot Garden for Lasting Change

Porn Addiction Recovery / By
Growing Your Reboot Garden for Lasting Change

I recently wrote about the importance (and difficulty) of developing patience during your reboot.

Patience is a necessary part of rebooting because these changes don’t happen all at once. You don’t decide that you’re done with your compulsive behavior and then find yourself suddenly free from your struggles.

I like to look at the reboot process like a garden. You’re like a gardener trying to grow a beautiful garden with fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Just like a gardener plants his seeds and patiently waits for his crops to grow, you must also plant the seeds of your reboot and wait for the results to follow.

You plant your seeds during the early porn addiction recovery stage. You must trust that while you won’t see the results for some time, they will pay off eventually. When planting the seeds of your reboot, you can expect to receive the same positive results as the hundreds of other men who changed their lives with the Porn Reboot system.

The middle and late reboot stages are when your saplings begin to show. You start to see the results of the work you did during your early reboot. The fruits, vegetables, and flowers of the reboot process include things like confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness, focus, diligence, and encouragement.

Your reboot garden also faces the threat of pests and weeds, much like the gardener deals with in his own garden. These threats to your reboot are things like procrastination, doubt, frustration, and impatience. If you don’t take steps to remove these things, eventually they will infest your garden and limit what can grow there.

Patience is one of the crucial elements of any good garden. A gardener doesn’t dig up his seeds when he doesn’t see saplings within the first few days of planting. He trusts the process and allows his plants time to grow. He knows how a garden works and recognizes that he must be patient if he wants to have a beautiful garden.

In the same way, you must trust the Porn Addiction Counseling. You can’t expect sudden, drastic changes and give up when they don’t happen as quickly as you’d like. You may feel tempted to throw in the towel and seek out another system instead. But you have to trust the reboot process and know that the positive results will come as long as you commit to it.

You also cannot force the process to happen any faster. A gardener cannot speed up the growth of his tomato plants any more than you can speed up your ability to quit porn, sex, and masturbation. All he can do is plant the seeds and water; all you can do is follow the Porn Reboot system. You can’t make your brain rewire any quicker than is natural.

Finally, the most important part of your reboot garden is continuing to do what resulted in the growth of a beautiful garden. Every gardener knows he cannot rely on last year’s work to grow his garden the following year. This means you must continue doing the things that helped you build a life free from out-of-control sexual behavior. 

Over time, the practice of growing a garden becomes routine and comfortable. The same applies to your reboot. While these new practices may feel strange and difficult to implement, they become second nature to you the more you practice them. If you follow the Porn Addiction Counseling Program or Porn Reboot system as it’s outlined, you will grow a beautiful life filled with the fruits of your labor for years to come!

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Prioritizing Growth Over Balance: Approach to Achieving Success

Porn Addiction Counseling / By
Prioritizing Growth Over Balance: Unconventional Approach to Achieving Success

You often hear people stressing the importance of living a balanced life.

They believe you should spread your attention and energy evenly between different responsibilities and interests Then men who are trying to control their sexual behavior are then exposed to these ideas and views of the world, from things like counselors, therapists, and traditional 12-step recovery programs.

I listen to these things as a man who runs a system where other men achieve phenomenal results in a short period. They learn to control their out-of-control sexual behavior in 90 days and fully rewire their brains in a year and a half to two years. In my opinion, you cannot achieve drastic, incredible results like those in the Porn Reboot program while living a balanced life.

Further, I believe that people who are living balanced lives do so because they don’t know what their priorities are. Instead of determining what’s most important in life and going after it, they try to cover everything. Rather than doing a few things very well, they’re mediocre at a lot of different things.

That approach doesn’t work for me. I wanted to live a life of priorities, not a life of balance. I believe you need to get clear on your priorities and dive headfirst into pursuing them. I’m not a fan of the idea that you should spread your energy evenly; I think you should find what ignites your fire and pursue that with everything you have in you.

Life is constantly changing. Nothing remains the same. Your kids are growing up as you read this. Your relationships are not always guaranteed. You may move across the city, across the state, or across the country one day. You might start a new business. Your health is never guaranteed. And yet you’re going to strive for balance across your social life, family life, emotional life, and spiritual life?

That doesn’t make sense to me. I see guys who are 23, 24, or 25 years old trying to maintain a long-term relationship, start a business, finish school, build their ideal physique, and meditate for an hour every day. They also want to travel the world and participate in the Porn Reboot program simultaneously.

All this does is lead to burnout and leaves you questioning your capabilities. I think balance is a myth. It’s a false ideal that is impossible to achieve in the real world. I believe we go through life in seasons because of the constant state of change. Trying to juggle all these things at one time is only going to hurt you in the long run.

I’ve done it before too, brother. I had a ton going on in my early 20s, too. I was in school, running the sales team for my company, trying to build my physique, and end my behavior with porn and masturbation. All I ended up doing was spinning in circles and not finding success in any one area.

I decided to focus on two areas instead of all four. I chose to focus on building up my body and ending my out-of-control behavior, then I lived and breathed these two things until I was successful in both. Once I achieved what I was looking for, I shifted that energy to my next priority of managing my anxiety. Then I shifted it to building the Porn Addiction Counseling – Reboot system. And I continue doing the same thing to this day.

I tried for balance and found it didn’t work for someone like me. I need to do things full-force or not at all. I think giving only part of yourself to something leads to mediocre results. You can’t grow when you don’t give your all to something. I think you should prioritize growth over balance every time. And the men who take this approach with their reboot are the ones who find the most success.

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Developing Patience in Your Porn Reboot Journey

Porn Addiction Recovery / By
Developing Patience in Your Porn Reboot Journey

When a brother joins the Porn Reboot Intensive program, we always start with a welcome call.

I want to get to know this brother and begin documenting his experience. One of the first things we do is establish expectations that men have when they arrive at our program. What do they want to accomplish? What does their life look like without porn? How do they anticipate getting to that point?

I do this because I want to ensure that we can support you in your journey. While I know that the Porn Reboot system works for the men who apply it, I want to make sure that your plans align with how the system is laid out. I want to see whether your expectations will be met or whether another approach to controlling your behavior is better suited for you.

Developing patience is one of the most common expectations I hear from our potential brothers. Their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation has finely tuned their need for instant gratification. This leads to significant problems with impatience and a short temper. They want to know whether Porn Reboot can help them develop their patience.

Something most brothers don’t realize, though, is that their compulsive sexual behavior also warps their experience of time. Consider how often you’ve said, “I’m only going to watch porn for a half-hour,” but then find yourself still opening tabs three hours later. You have no idea where that time went, you only know that it’s gone.

This same time warp occurs when you start separating from porn, sex, and masturbation. I see men with around a month and a half in the program convinced they’re in the maintenance stage of their reboot. In reality, they’re still in the early stage of the process. It feels like it’s been months when it’s only been a few weeks.

It’s frustrating to realize how much work it takes to fully rewire your brain. Since you’ve geared yourself for instant gratification, the idea that it takes time to reboot is a foreign concept. You don’t get the benefits of a porn-free life without some hard work and patience.

I like to use the example of a gardener planting a garden. He understands that, while his plants begin to grow as soon as he plants the seed, he won’t see the results for quite some time. He will not see a sprout, a branch, a leaf, or a fruit for many days after placing those seeds. But he trusts that by putting in the work, from planting to watering to waiting, his plants will grow with time.

The same goes for your porn addiction recovery. It may not seem like you’re making progress, but the change begins from the moment you implement some reboot principles. Even when you continue struggling with slips and relapses, the reboot process is in place.

The path to patience in your reboot is paved with bricks that say “progress not perfection.” Your success in the Pornography Addiction Treatment program likely does not mean complete abstinence. But it does mean showing up to work on time, spending evenings with your family, and taking time to better yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Developing patience in your reboot is a slow process, too, but even recognizing the need for it is a step in the right direction. It’s difficult and easy to get agitated. Think of the gardener when bugs and pests begin to infiltrate his newly-sprouted seedlings. He must get frustrated, too. But he still trusts the process and recognizes that every garden comes with its troubles.

As you accept the inevitable presence of pests and move toward their removal, you’ll find yourself closer to patience. Your newfound outlook will flower into the fruits of confidence, diligence, self-esteem, self-awareness, self-compassion, and more. These fruits are available even during the early reboot stage, brother. All it takes is some work and dedication.

Developing patience is an important aspect of your reboot and the Porn Addiction Counseling system will help you get there. Just like the gardener, though, you must recognize that while it won’t happen all at once, you’re already well on your way there.

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