Dealing with an out of control behavior with porn, sex or masturbation can be tough and it definitely affects your life in negative ways.

I know many men who follow Porn Addiction Recovery Reboot have been trying to quit for a long time- there are moments when you are doing very well and times when you’re just deep in it binging, feeling shame, guilt, and loss of control.

But this does not mean that your life should fall apart. In fact, the main reason I do this is to help men realize their dreams and potential. And I don’t mean potential in some sort of bullshit motivational way. I mean- you have goals- there are things you want in life- in your career, your finances, your relationships, your health and much more. You are only here because pornography is holding you back.

When I quit porn over a decade ago, I literally entered a new reality.I took advantage of it to create the life that I wanted and I am determined in my small way to help you get there.

Pornography robs us of productivity and if you are an ambitious man, today I’m going to share with you 10 steps to increase your productivity while struggling with quitting porn.

While I struggled with porn and masturbation, I was still able to maintain very high levels of productivity in TWO careers simultaneously. This is how I accomplished that.

Step 1: Look in the mirror

 

 

Realize that as a man and as a man struggling a with a porn, sex or masturbation problem, while there may be people who support you, you are the only one who can change your life. No rehab, no counselor, no coach, no guru can impact your life the way you can. When men get on the phone with me- I always say- I just want to help you become an expert at yourself. You control your time. You may not be able to control your sexual urges as much you’d like to- YET, but the remaining hours of the day are very much in your hands-even if you feel fatigued and demotivated after hours of watching porn. Nothing is physically stopping you from doing the work.
So look in the mirror and tell yourself. “No one is coming to save me. I must save myself.” I take responsibility for my life. This one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.

Step 2: Keep track of your time

 

 

One of the biggest time wasters for men is social media. Personally, I believe that if you are not running a business or your career does not involve social media, you really don’t need to be on it . Especially when you are recovering from porn addiction. Spend a day recording how you spend your time. Find out how much time you spend on checking email, commenting, participating, sharing, being entertained on social media. Once you find out that you’re spending hours on tasks which are not related to your number 1 goal, move them to the least important part of your day

Step 3: Fix your inbox

Many of us have a habit of making our email inbox a to-do list. You had your plans for the day, but the moment you logged into your email, suddenly random people are dictating your day. So here are some things you can do to avoid this situation.
1) Don’t check your email first thing in the morning. I don’t remember where this quote is from, but it says “The fastest way to time travel to 2 pm is to check inbox first thing in the morning”

2) Turn off all alerts on your computer. No facebook alerts, no nothing.

3) Put your phone in silent mode when working. Personally, my phone is on silent and in another room when I am writing or mentoring a client or running group sessions . Now, I do have long term clients who sign up 24 hour accountability. I never take more than 3 of these a year, so I let them know that for a certain block of time I will be unavailable.

4) The next thing is unsubscribe from anyone or anything in your inbox that you are not actively using. Be very aggressive with this .Everyday there people trying to sell you something- a product, a service or an idea. You only have so much energy to devote to these people. Not to be a hypocrite-myself included. If you are not opening every email from this person. If you are not excited to see their name in your inbox because they bring value to your life- unsubscribe. This includes me. Many of you know that I start off many of my emails with a big unsubscribe statement. Only deal with people who are engaged and invested in you.

Step 4: Create Gates

In your professional life, set up walls, gates or boundaries for certain projects. I break my years year down into 4 periods of 90 days. I have set goals for every 90 days. If during that period someone reaches out to me to collaborate on something, or speak at an event, or coach them. My staff will review the request and if its accepted- we will let them know that we will check back with them in 90 Days. If the offer expires within that time, thats o.k. The point is, I am protecting my number one goal and priority during any given 90 Day period. No distractions.I suggest you do the same. You may only have three or four major things to accomplish this year, but if you create boundaries around these periods of times, you will achive A LOT by the end of the year.

Step 5: Say “No”

Learn how to say no to people. Learn how to say no to things that take away from your time.

For instance, everyday when I open my inbox , there will be dozens and dozens of emails from men and women asking for help or feedback tor guidance with a porn, sex or masturbation related issue. Now, when someone has the courage to reach out for help with an issue like this, it usually mean that they have hit rock bottom and nothing is working. However, 9 of 10 times, the answer to their specific question is in a video or is in one of my free courses. So I send them to that resource. Sometimes, people don’t want that resource-they want someone to give them the solution or the answer-sometimes they want me to speak to me or email back and forth about the subject. If that’s the case, they are redirected to an application page to fill out an application and set up an appointment to speak to me based on my availability. Unfortunately, some people don’t want to go through any of that and demand an answer right away. At that point I say NO.

And you have to learn how to say no as well. Whether its to friends and family that want to hang out during your productive hours or people involved in your career who are asking for more than you can give. My natural instinct is to help everyone and I used to try to do that, but I realized that I had the most impact on helping people quit their porn and masturbation problems when I focused on a small group of committed people.

Step 6: Block Your Time

I believe it was Grant Cardone who said- “You wanna meet the devil? Show me white space on your calendar and I’ll show you the devil”. Block off times on your calendar for when you are most efficient. Some people are more productive in the day, and some are more productive in the evening. You know yourself. During that time or during those days put aside for important work, don’t schedule anything with anyone else. For almost a decade while I was running a training company- my parents, my family, AND my friends knew that I only took calls from them on Sundays unless it was a serious health or a life or death emergency. The rest of the time was spent on my work. If you have a family, or if you are in a relationship, I highly recommend blocking off time to spend with them. Don’t let anything come in the way of either time spent with your loved ones or your friends or with work.

Step 7: Focus

Do one thing at a time. Multitasking does not work. Some of you are reading a book, responding to a text thread, checking if a girl messaged you back on a dating app and looking at the number of likes you received on your last Instagram post. Each time you take your attention away from your ONE focus, it takes more energy to refocus. Eventually, you find yourself unable to complete the task or exhausted. So pick one thing, give yourself a time limit like 45 minutes or an hour and just go at it, till your timer goes off. Then set another timer to focus on other non-work related activities like responding to texts from friends or family. You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish.

Step 8: Take Care of Your Body

To keep it simple, how much you rest, what you eat how you exercise affects your productivity greatly. In terms of sleep-honestly, I’m hardly a role model because I’m used to 4-5 hours of sleep and have trained myself to do thrive on these hours over many years.. However, ideally during recovery while you are trying to quit porn and be productive, 7-9 hours is great. When you recover, feel free to cut down on your sleep hours if you desire. The earlier you go to bed the better. When you go to bed early, you’ll wake up earlier and that gives you time to start your day right. There is a huge difference between going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 9:00 am and going to bed at 10 pm and waking up at 5;30-6am. In the former, the morning is almost over -its difficult to generate a sense of accomplishment when you wake up that late. On the other hand, when you wake up at 6, you can get more done before 9 am than most people will in an entire day- I know I do. And that gives you momentum to have a great day.
What you eat is fuel for your body. I advocate eating as clean as possible because it allows your body to function like a clean, efficient machine. If you eat fast food or a lot of processed food, its going to slow you down not just physically, but it will slow down your thinking as well.
In terms of diet, find out what works for you. Personally, I fast and skip breakfast. My most productive time is in the morning and I find that when I eat first thing in the morning, I get slightly drowsy because a lot of the blood which should be going to my brain instead goes to my digestive system to digest my breakfast. I also workout in the morning and doing so on an empty stomach helps me burn fat and get my body ready for the day.
The important thing to remember is that getting adequate rest, eating clean and exercising daily is crucial to productivity during your recovery.

Step 9: Purge

Clear your life of everything which is unnecessary. The barometer to measure whether something should be in your life or not is whether you love it and if it brings you happiness. This applies to your office, your work and to your relationships. Once a year, I go through my offices and I get rid of everything I have not used for the past year. Random notes, ideas which I will never act on-even my books. Now I have a huge library, and if you are an ambitious growth-minded professional, you probably do as well. And it can be very hard to let go of some books.

Part of purging for books is going through your library and getting rid of books which you have never read and are older than 6 months. This includes those language books you bought when you thought you were going to learn a certain language, self improvement books which you are sure you will read “someday” , books which you bought on a whim and books which you only read once and never again referred to. Ask yourself- does the thought of this book or the knowledge I will gain from reading it bring me happiness? If it doesn’t, let the book go. It’s amazing, but when you reduce clutter, you create so much peace of mind. Its one of those things which you have to actually do to truly experience that sort of peace of mind and clarity.

The same goes for relationships. I have some of my clients at a point in their recovery, go through their phones and delete all contacts that they have nothing to do with anymore. Some professionals have thousands of contacts. Whether it’s for coworkers or employees from a past career, women whose numbers you got 10 years ago, random people you met while traveling, business contacts who are no longer working with you, acquaintances from college- delete their numbers if they are no longer relevant to your productivity and happiness.Keep the relevant ones.

When it comes to people in your life, the same concept applies. Are there people who are who are taking away from your schedule? If there are people in your life who are not contributing towards your growth or happiness, let them go as well. Now this sounds harsh, but remember- this is for recovering porn addicts who want to be productive. You are already struggling with quitting pornography-which is costing you a lot of time and energy. People who are in your life simply to hangout, party, entertain you, or get something for you are a waste of your precious energy. Remove them from your life and become very selective about who you bring into your life. Make sure its people who increase your happiness, are growth minded, people who are positive, people who have their own goals. Just because someone is exciting or entertaining or beautiful or “cool” does not necessarily mean that they are a positive contribution to your life.

Step 10: Positive Routines

Routines are so important to your productivity because they save you time and energy. When you have a routine, you don’t need to think. You brain is on autopilot and frees up energy for other things.
There are many things in your life which you can “automate” or make routine. For instance- your mornings. Prepare for the morning the evening before. This means, have the clothes which you are going to wear the next day laid out. Some very productive people have their meals prepped for the next day. So you wake up in the morning and you don’t need to think-you roll out of bed, put on your workout clothes and go running or go to the gym, when you come back, you shower, change, have breakfast and start the day- the same way everyday.

Compare that to waking up every morning, not knowing what you are going to do. Not knowing whether you brush your teeth first or your look at your phone first, or spending 20 minutes figuring out what to wear, sitting on the fence as to whether to go to the gym that morning or in the evening. By the time the most important tasks of your day begin, you have expended so much mental and sometimes energy on simple tasks which could been routines.
Introduce positive routines into your life.

There you go! The 10 Steps to being productive while recovering from a porn addiction!

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