Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever

how to stop porn addiction

How to Manage Your Reboot While Traveling

How to Manage Your Reboot While Traveling

I’ve got a question from one of our brothers in the Porn Reboot implementation group for you today. He asked:

“What do I do when I’m going on long vacations, when I’m traveling, or moving to a place for a long period of time? How do I manage my reboot under these circumstances?”

When answering this question I thought about it from the perspective of men who are either married or in committed relationships. These men make up an important segment of the group so I wanted to address this in regards to their situation specifically. So if you’re part of that group, this could be helpful for you. So how to stop porn addiction in this case?

Don’t Neglect Your Reboot

You may have spent months building up a solid routine while in the comfort of your everyday environment. As soon as you go out of town, though, it doesn’t often take long for those things to fall by the wayside. It’s easy to get caught up in your trip and distracted when you’re traveling for business or on vacation. But this is a fast track to a slip or relapse.

One of the primary principles of the Porn Reboot system is that everything in your life must revolve around your reboot during the beginning stages. Your reboot comes before everything: your business, your relationships, your friendships, and even your family. Your reboot must be your priority if you want to set a solid foundation to rebuild your life.

This includes going on vacation. It doesn’t matter whether it’s for business or pleasure; you must not neglect your reboot when traveling. If you want to remain porn-free your reboot must remain at the forefront of your mind.

Plan Ahead

Planning is crucial if you want to manage your reboot while traveling. Slips and relapses are more likely to happen when you aren’t prepared. Unexpected stressors can lead you back to compulsive sexual behavior or watching porn when you’re still early in your reboot. 

Planning includes making calls to men in the group and setting up times to check in with your accountability partners. Let your trusted friends know that you’ll be away for a few days and that you might need some additional on-call support. You can also set a curfew and ask someone to hold you to that time. Don’t neglect your morning routine and other reboot essentials, either.

Bring a Picture Of Your Spouse

This may sound a little cheesy but it’s something I still use because I find that it works: bring along a framed picture of your spouse and place it next to your bed. Keep it there so you can remember that you have someone important to you back home who is trusting in you to stay the course and continue with your reboot.

You may even want to print out a couple of photos to keep them on hand. And I mean it when I say print them – having a digital format on your phone doesn’t count. Having a physical photo of your significant other provides a tactile reminder of one of the important reasons you’re committed to rebooting.

Get On a Call With Your Coach or Therapist

Be sure to connect with your coach or therapist before you leave for your trip. This is especially important if it’s your first time traveling after starting your reboot. Use that time to unpack any underlying fears or hesitations that arise when you’re thinking about being away. Talking through these concerns with your therapist or coach will put you in the right headspace as you go out of town.

Don’t Fall Victim to Environmental Triggers

If you’re staying in a hotel, call the front desk and ask them to disconnect the cable in your room. You don’t need the added pressure of television offering an endless supply of risqué channels and pay-per-view videos for you to avoid. Ensuring the television is disconnected before you even arrive eliminates this potential trigger.

Be aware of other environmental triggers you may be exposed to. For example, if one of your old behaviors involved visiting massage parlors or hiring escorts, recognize that the temptation may come up. Make sure your plan involves alternative activities if these triggers or temptations arise.

Avoid Isolating Yourself

The best thing you can do to manage reboot while traveling is to avoid isolation. It’s easier to convince yourself that something is okay when you don’t run that idea by anyone else. If you’re connected with other men in the group and your accountability partners, though, it’s harder to rationalize things that aren’t aligned with your reboot.

No matter what you do, don’t isolate yourself entirely while traveling. Call your trusted brothers, check in with the Facebook group, and don’t spend too much time on your own. The more you’re surrounded by people with your best interests at heart, the more likely you are to make it through your travels unscathed.

How to Manage Your Reboot While Traveling Read More »

Normalize Being Porn-Free in 2023

Normalize Being Porn-Free in 2023

What does your “normal” relationship with porn look like?

For most men who arrive at the porn addiction recovery program, their normal relationship with porn looks like periods of “sobriety” followed by slips and relapses. These slips are accompanied by a loss of clarity and focus, as well as feelings of guilt, shame, and uncertainty. The repetitive process continues to drive self-esteem further into the ground.

However, many of the brothers who participate in the Porn Reboot program experience periods where they do not slip. They enjoy these times when there are no relapses back into watching porn or acting out sexually. These brothers notice something different about their quality of life, often feeling more at peace as they move smoothly through their days.

I want 2022 to be the year you shift what your normal relationship with porn looks like. I want you to move away from the cycle of sobriety and slips. I want your porn addiction problems to become a thing of the past. I want you to build a life that is so incredible you couldn’t ever imagine opening up another browser tab again.

Here are some ways you can normalize being porn-free in 2022.

Change Your Perspective

Men view moments when they aren’t engaging in problematic sexual behavior in one of two ways. The first way is looking at it with what I refer to as “big deal” energy. You make a massive deal out of the amount of time it’s been since you last viewed porn, masturbated, had sex, or whatever your preference is. It feels like an incredible feat that you haven’t acted out.

But here’s the thing: while it’s great you’ve stayed away from porn or learned how to stop porn addiction, your preferred behavior for a while, making a big deal out of it will only keep you from staying away from it. You make it harder to stick with your commitment when you make it too big of a deal.

Instead, I want you to shift from “big deal” energy into “of course” energy. You want to view your behavior-free time as the way things should be. Of course this is happening to you because it’s the way your life is supposed to be. This change in perspective comes naturally through the hard work and belief in yourself that develops during your reboot.

Sure, you’re going to experience surges of excitement when you realize your life is changing. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing this important change but you don’t need to hold onto this adrenaline rush. Experience it and then let it pass as you move forward with your progress.

Express Gratitude for the Little Things

Porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior strip you of your ability to appreciate the small things in life. You’re so consumed by out-of-control behavior that you have no time to “stop and smell the roses,” if you will. Your whole world shrinks down and life becomes painfully small.

As you learn to control your behavior, life opens up again. You’re given another chance to experience and appreciate all that life has to offer. There are so many aspects of life that you spent years ignoring; take the time to recognize them now. Expressing gratitude for the things that seem small is an important part of normalizing being porn-free.

Additionally, expressing gratitude adds immense value to these seemingly small things. The more you work on your reboot, the more you realize how many things you took for granted. From your job to your family, your health to your housing, there are countless things that you may have overlooked in the past that you can now express gratitude for.

Gratitude also serves as a counter to “big deal” energy. You can feel grateful for the times you sit through difficult urges, for the strength you’re developing, for your refusal to give in to the struggles of the withdrawal process. Expressing gratitude keeps you humble and encourages you to continue doing the work it takes to achieve these new experiences.

Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Men

No man survives on an island. The same applies to your reboot. Trying to overcome your out-of-control behavior alone may work for a short period but it’s not a long-term strategy. Implementing changes that lead to lasting control of your behavior requires support from men who are working to overcome their behavior, too.

You must surround yourself with a community of men who also view their reboot with “of course” energy. You want to be around men who experience urges and overcome them. You want to be around men who are working on their coping strategies. You want to be around men who fully believe they have better things to do than sit around and watch porn.

Today I surround myself with  a community of men who operate with the same energy as I do. They’re dedicated to controlling their sexual behavior. They are top performers in their careers or run successful businesses. Most of these men no longer partake in drinking or drugs. It’s a group of strong, like-minded men who reinforce the “of course” energy I live by.

Commit to a System

Significant life changes don’t happen by accident. They aren’t the result of random occurrences. They happen when you take consistent, dedicated, intentional action. This usually means employing a system in your life. Committing to a system is the best way to maintain all of these changes and normalize being porn-free in 2022. 

You’re not going to control your behavior on a whim. It’s not going to happen randomly. You need something that will offer guaranteed results when you follow the outlined path. That’s why finding a system that works is so critical to your success.

I’ve talked about the importance of implementing a system before. A system is a set of actions that produce predictable, reliable, and accurate results time after time. That’s exactly what the Porn Reboot program is. It’s a predetermined path you can follow that leads to lasting changes in your behavior with pornography and masturbation.

Following the Porn Reboot system is a guaranteed way to develop “of course” energy, learn to express gratitude, and surround yourself with like-minded men. All of these aspects are ways you will normalize being porn-free in 2022. Give yourself the opportunity to change your life. Join us in the Porn Reboot Facebook group and get started today!

Normalize Being Porn-Free in 2023 Read More »

Are Porn Filters a Waste of Time?

Are Porn Filters a Waste of Time?

Lots of porn addiction recovery programs and coaches stress the importance of porn filters.

They can be a helpful way to keep you off of and away from sites that you know will send you right back to relapsing. You can use them to block the websites you usually use to watch porn and are useful for some people.

On the other hand, porn filters are also easy to get around. There are so many sites that contain pornographic content that you couldn’t possibly filter all of them out. And I also see far too many men put the responsibility for their recovery on these filters. If the filter fails they blame it for their relapse instead of looking at their behavior.

Are porn filters reliable or are they a waste of time? Is placing that power into the hands of a computer program the right way to approach your reboot?

If you’re serious about ending your behavior with pornography, porn filters only act as a band-aid over the real problem. Most men in the Porn Reboot program are past the point where it’s about pornography; it’s about the rush of feel-good chemicals released by the entire process of their compulsive behavior.

Slapping a porn filter on your web browser isn’t a long-term solution. It may keep you away from porn for a few days or a few weeks but it’s not going to keep you away for months or years. Staying off of porn requires a shift in your entire mindset and lifestyle, not just a computer program that blocks you from “bad sites.”

If you truly want to control your out-of-control behavior, you’ll do the work it takes to overcome your problem. Things like NoFap and semen retention are the same type of approach. Sure, they solve the porn problem for a short period but they don’t address what your problem actually is. They won’t lead to any lasting change.

There’s nothing wrong with using a filter in the beginning stages of your reboot when you’re still learning to control your behavior. They can be a great tool to keep you away from those tempting sites. But they can’t be the first and last line of defense against your pornography addiction. If you have a serious porn problem then they will not make any long-term difference.

However, if you use them as part of a comprehensive approach to ending your behavior with porn and masturbation, then you’re using them for the right reasons. Porn filters aren’t a waste of time when you know they aren’t the true solution to your problem. If you’re going to install a porn filter and think that’s the end of things, then they’re not worth it for you.

Are Porn Filters a Waste of Time? Read More »

Understanding Beliefs: Empowerment and Growth

Understanding Beliefs: Empowerment and Growth

I’ve spoken and written extensively about the importance of recognizing your limiting beliefs.

These are the things you tell yourself and that you fully believe, things like, “I am hopeless,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy of love,” or “I’m never going to be able to fully recover from my porn addiction.”

A belief is a small idea that either enables you to do something or holds you back from doing something. They are the inner model you use to interact with the world around you. Your beliefs are the framework within which you operate.

Your beliefs determine where you go, the direction you move, and the pace at which you progress. They affect who you are, who you become, and how you bridge the gap between these spaces. If you want to progress in the world you need to continuously recognize, assess, and adjust these beliefs you carry.

What Limiting Beliefs Look Like

Three of the most common limiting beliefs I see in the men I work with are hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. These three beliefs are key reasons why men hold themselves back when they are trying to reboot. 

Hopelessness is the belief that you cannot achieve whatever goal it is you have in mind. You don’t believe in yourself enough to trust that what you want to do is possible for you. On the other hand, when you believe in your skills and resources and trust that you’re capable of achieving your goals, you feel hopeful.

Helplessness is the idea that while you know something may be possible for someone else, you don’t believe it’s possible for you. You don’t trust that you have the skills or knowledge to accomplish what it is you want to do. But when you trust yourself and your abilities, you feel empowered.

Worthlessness is based on the idea that you aren’t good enough for or don’t deserve the things you want in life. If you believe you are worthless then you will not take the action necessary to make drastic changes. However, when you recognize your inherent worth as a person, you’ll find yourself willing to do what it takes to change your life.

How Beliefs Work

Think of your belief system as a massive filter for your attention. The beliefs you hold are the filter for everything that happens in your life. Your brain needs an easy way to interpret all the things going on around you and your belief system makes it easier to process.  

Your mind always interprets any incoming information or feedback in a way that supports your existing beliefs. If you have limiting beliefs, your mind will pick up on things that further instill this negative view of yourself. But if you have empowering beliefs, your mind will find evidence that supports this more positive, useful frame of mind.

When you operate with limiting beliefs you’re going to overlook any evidence that suggests you’re a good person with positive traits. It’s easier to toss out feedback or information that doesn’t support your view of yourself as hopeless, helpless, worthless, or whatever other limiting beliefs you may have.

When you’re filled with empowering beliefs about yourself, you’re equipped with a much more effective filter. You not only accept the evidence that you’re a good person worthy of good things, but you’re also willing to recognize where you fall short and work on bettering yourself in those areas.

Limiting Beliefs in My Life

I have plenty of experience with limiting beliefs, especially before I learned to control my behavior with porn addiction problems and masturbation. For example, I would see someone doing well financially and it ran through my negative belief filtering system. I’d tell myself I couldn’t get where they were because I wasn’t as smart and couldn’t focus as well as they could.

This limiting belief held me back for years because I thought I didn’t have what it took to accomplish what these men had accomplished. I didn’t recognize my strengths because these negative beliefs kept me trapped. They left me incapable of taking the necessary steps to help myself and move forward.

It wasn’t until I began working with mentors who pointed out this negative filtration system I operated with. I remember one specific turning point when one of my mentors called me out and said:

“Hey, the reason you can’t accomplish what you want to do isn’t that you’re incapable, J.K., it’s because you have this inaccurate, harmful filter that everything passes through. When it comes to money, when it comes to willpower, when it comes to discipline, all these things pass through that filter that tells you you can’t do it. We need to get rid of it.”

It felt like someone finally handed me the keys to freedom that I spent years searching for. While I didn’t overcome all of my limiting beliefs at once, it set me on the right path that helped me work through them over time.

Why Beliefs Matter in Your Reboot

So why are beliefs important to men like you specifically? What makes it urgent and important to pay attention to your beliefs as you start the porn addiction recovery process?

Oftentimes men in the Porn Reboot system come in with limiting beliefs they’ve carried around for years. They never take time to question them, though. Instead, they push forward and drive themselves further into the ruts their negative belief system lands them in.

You’re going to have a hard time moving forward and making progress in your reboot if you never take time to recognize your limiting beliefs. You have heard the idea that beliefs can move mountains, right? The power of beliefs runs deep and you’ll be amazed at the things you can accomplish when you overcome your limiting beliefs.

When you come in with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness, ending your out-of-control behavior will feel impossible. After trying and failing to control your behavior for years, these beliefs will be deeply ingrained in your mind. Until you challenge this negative filtration system, you’ll remain stuck in your prison of limiting beliefs.

Thankfully, the Porn Reboot program offers a solution to your limiting beliefs. We help you understand the precise thoughts holding you back and take action to overcome them. The Porn Reboot Facebook group is filled with men who were once held back by their limiting beliefs. These men now live beautiful, fulfilling, enriching lives free from the control of their porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior.

Still not sure whether you’re capable of overcoming your problem with porn and masturbation? Reach out in the group today – I guarantee you’ll find yourself surrounded by understanding, support, and guidance to get you out of your way.

Understanding Beliefs: Empowerment and Growth Read More »

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

Today I’m bringing you another question from a brother in the group. He said:

“Hey, J.K., as I continue to improve for my reboot, I notice that I go about my days doing work, studying for certifications, and looking for entertainment options, but I realized that I don’t have a consistent, fulfilling hobby that I’m good at. 

Sometimes I think I’m not good at anything or that I can’t do anything special. I know you’ve talked about having a purpose as being a luxury, but what is your take on how to discover hobbies or interests? Is it better to focus on controlling my behavior and sticking with things that feel boring or mundane for the time being? Or do you recommend seeking out hobbies?”

If you’re struggling with an out-of-control sexual behavior or porn addiction, chances are some parts of your life are suffering. Maybe your marriage is failing, your career is backsliding, or your friendships are nonexistent. There are at least one or two things that drove you to finally address your compulsive behavior.

This means your reboot should consume most of your attention, time, and energy. Managing your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation must take the front seat if you truly want to change your life. You can’t address these difficulties in your life if you don’t dedicate yourself to fixing the thing that’s causing them.

At the same time, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any fun, either. The Porn Reboot system is a structured approach to controlling your behavior but it doesn’t mean that you have to live a miserable life after learning how to stop porn addiction. If life were boring and unfulfilling without porn, men would never be able to leave their compulsive behaviors behind.

You can find endless amounts of excitement and fulfillment in a porn-free life. It’s not a dull, unbearable way to go through life. In fact, cutting porn out of your life allows you to reconnect and re-engage with life in a way you haven’t been able to for years.

I fully support you going out and finding hobbies you enjoy. Although your reboot always needs to come first, there is plenty of time in your day outside of your reboot routine and activities that you can fill with interests and hobbies.

I’m sure you have some things you enjoyed before you sunk into an ever-worsening cycle of porn addiction. You had hobbies as a teenager or young adult that you enjoyed. Start by getting back into some of these things. Join an adult sports league in your community or find a local meetup for outdoor activities you loved in the past.

If you can’t think of any past hobbies you enjoyed, use your spare time as an opportunity to explore all the possibilities available to you. Think of things you always considered trying but never found the time to get around to doing. Maybe you’ve wanted to run a Spartan race, try your hand at an open mic, or take cooking classes at a local community college. You have the freedom to try these things today – make use of it!

I believe having a hobby helps immensely during the reboot process. When you quit using porn and masturbating multiple times throughout the day you’ll find that there’s likely a lot of time to fill. Your addiction consumed much of your days, nights, weeks, and months; take that time back and use it to your advantage now.

If you need some ideas for hobbies to try out or to share your hobbies with some of the porn addiction recovery brothers, check out our free Facebook group. Let us know what you’ve been doing with all your spare time and find some brothers who share the same interests and hobbies. Or maybe you’ll find an activity you never thought of trying before. Come and join us today!

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot? Read More »

Self-Image: The Final Step to Quitting Porn Addiction

Self-Image: The Final Step to Quitting Porn Addiction

Over the years, I’ve done my best to simplify the Porn Reboot system as much as possible.

I find that the simpler a system is, the more effective it is. So I’ve done extensive work to ensure I eliminate unnecessary steps that distract from the core purpose of the Porn Reboot process: rewiring your brain to eliminate your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The process starts with changing your habits. Habits are a great place to start but they won’t last unless you make them part of your lifestyle. That makes altering your lifestyle the second part of the process. Once you integrate positive habits into your lifestyle, you begin seeing changes in your health, relationships, and mood.

However, to ensure both your habit and lifestyle changes stick, you must address your self-image. If you continue viewing yourself as a man who uses (or used) pornography, you’ll continue struggling with the problem. Eliminating your identity as a man with a porn addiction problems is the crucial final step to the process.

How can you eliminate something that has been such a significant part of your life, though?

What is Self-Image?

Self-image is the way you view, perceive, and define yourself. It’s a generalization of your past experiences that informs how you move through the world. Your self-image influences every area of your life, such as your thinking, motivation, performance, learning abilities, and behaviors to name a few. 

There are five main components of your self-image: 

Value: the sense of your quality of life

Sexual: how you view and think about your body

Significance: how important you are to yourself, to others, and the world

Learning capabilities: understanding that you can learn anything you set your mind to

Influence: realizing you have the control to change your experience

What is your immediate response when I ask you, “Who are you?” Your answer is your self-image. Developing a positive, healthy self-image is crucial for your success in the Porn Reboot program.

Why is Self-Image Important?

Your self-image is important because it feeds your self-esteem. If you appreciate the way you see yourself then you’re going to have higher self-esteem. However, if you don’t like the way you see yourself then you’ll have lower self-esteem. Self-image also influences the choices you make, the ways you behave, and how you respond to certain situations.

Let’s say you see yourself as a man who “can’t help himself” when he sees beautiful women. Whenever you see an attractive girl, you can’t stop thinking about her and picturing her in a sexual manner. You follow this thinking down the rabbit hole and it creates an ongoing cycle.

Truth is, that’s only your self-image. It’s a story you’ve developed over the years and told yourself is true. In reality, you have the power to change this self-image and redirect your thoughts and actions to something else. Most men don’t realize this, though, so understanding the power of self-image is critical for men in the porn addiction recovery – Reboot Program.

How Can You Change Your Self-Image?

You’re not a prisoner to or a victim of your self-image. You can acknowledge and change it whenever you decide to. I have a small exercise you can use to begin shifting your self-image from something negative to something positive. You can implement this practice to help you change your thoughts, actions, and behaviors as a result.

First, I want you to write down how you feel about yourself. Get clear on the ways you think about yourself and write a clear description. Next, think about someone who cares deeply about you, such as your father, mother, brother, sister, nephew, or niece. Write how you think they see you. Imagine looking through their eyes and listening through their ears. What do they value about you and why do they care about you?

Consider the gaps between these two points of view. Your description is likely to be far more critical than your loved one’s description. Now I want you to work on bridging the gap between these two viewpoints. How can you embody the way your loved one sees you? What are some things you can do to break down the walls you’ve built and allow that positive self-image in?

This will help you recognize the importance of your existence. You’re worth far more than you tell yourself you are, and likely not for the reasons you believe. You are more than your job, your income, or your possessions. The people in your life who value you can see who and what you are capable of becoming and trust that you are heading in the right direction.

Again, you are in control of your self-image. You have the power to change your reality. You may have lost touch with it during your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, but you can take it back whenever you choose to. And once you reclaim your power in regards to self-image, brother, you’ll be unstoppable.

Self-Image: The Final Step to Quitting Porn Addiction Read More »

My Secret To Confidently Quitting Porn

My Secret To Confidently Quitting Porn

I’m going to let you in on a secret today.

Over the years, many brothers asked me something to the effect of, “When you began this journey, J.K., how did you have the confidence to believe you would end your out-of-control behavior? How did you know? It feels like there are so many things standing in my way, like I’ve tried different things but made next to no progress.”

Brothers rattle off a long list of reasons they feel they can’t control their behavior. Lacking willpower. Not having time. Managing a busy career. Caring for a large family. Having no self-respect or self-esteem. Experiencing an insatiable sex drive. Never meeting someone who has successfully overcome their behavior.

I’ve heard just about every excuse in the books yet here I stand before you more than a decade free from my porn addiction. So, what is my secret?

I defined my reboot.

Once I was beaten down to a point I could no longer handle, I knew I was done with porn and masturbation. 

I outlined exactly what I wanted my life to look like. I didn’t consider the ifs, ands, or buts. I didn’t hang out or spend time with anyone who didn’t align with this new vision for my life. I fully dedicated myself to achieving this goal and did everything I could to reach it.

I find this is something that most men who come to the Porn Reboot program have trouble with. I ask them what they want and they can’t clearly define it. Sure, they know they want to overcome their compulsive behavior. They want peace of mind. They want to stop cheating on their partner. They want to live up to their potential. They want to be more focused. But they don’t have a clear definition of what life looks like after that.

That’s like going to the ticket counter at the airport and telling the person at the counter that you want a ticket. They ask where you want a ticket to and all you say is “somewhere warm.” What is that person supposed to do? How can they give you a plane ticket when you can’t define where you want to go?

The same applies to your reboot. You may know that you can’t handle your behavior anymore but you don’t know what life looks like without it. You can’t articulate the end goal. And that’s what separates my experience from yours.

An important part of Porn Reboot is to help you clearly define your reboot. It provides a path for you to control your behavior in 90 days so you can rewire your brain and be free from porn forever. But we don’t dictate how you live your life, we only provide the tools to overcome your behavior. What your life looks like as a rebooted man is up to you. 

So how can you get there if you aren’t sure what it looks like?

I want you to sit down and write out your goal. Define the ultimate goal for your reboot and then consider whether there’s something more. Go through several iterations of it until you outline a very clear definition of what life looks like when you’ve overcome your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

It’s that simple.

Clearly define your reboot, commit to the process, and don’t allow anyone to derail you once you’ve made your decision. Confidence will come from your faith and trust in yourself; you don’t need anyone else to provide it for you. Surround yourself with Porn Reboot brothers when you feel unsure and keep moving forward. It will be the best choice you ever make, brother, I guarantee it.

My Secret To Confidently Quitting Porn Read More »

How to Stop Edging and Overcome Porn Addiction

How to Stop Edging and Overcome Porn Addiction

I recently made a video talking about why edging is worse for your brain than masturbating. It led to a lot of dialogue in the Porn Reboot groups as brothers shared their experiences on how to stop porn addiction. Some understood my point while others seemed to miss it. One brother asked: 

“If I find myself edging, would it be beneficial to add a time limit so I can prevent the brain damage it causes? At what point can I reverse course or am I already past the point of no return? Is it a good thing if my slip is of a lesser duration? Thanks for your thoughts.”

Unfortunately, this brother didn’t seem to understand what I was getting at with that video. I don’t believe that slips and edging are “bad things”. I’ve talked about this many times before. Viewing them as “bad” only attaches emotion to an event. They are neither good nor bad. Instead, I believe you should simply view these experiences as data.

When you don’t treat slips or edging as data you begin treating them as an obstacle instead. But what happens when you come up against an obstacle? You must stop it. And how do you stop internal obstacles? You deploy willpower.

However, willpower does not work when it comes to the reboot process. Trying to exert willpower against your out-of-control behavior only works against your biology. But if you continue labeling things as “bad”, you’ll continue struggling with a willpower-based approach to rebooting. 

Here’s the thing, brother. If you find yourself edging as a way to avoid actually masturbating, there’s something else going on. There’s no point in just edging without finishing. If you’re already edging then you should just complete the job. There is no “reversing course”. The slip happens once you start the process.

Porn addiction, sex, and masturbation addiction is a behavioral addiction. You’re more addicted to the process of the experience than the orgasm itself. When you’re edging you’re still participating in part of the process. Looking for any other way around it is just looking for a way to justify your slip.

Instead of making excuses for your behavior, look at what caused it instead. Why did you get to a place where you felt the need to edge? Which area of your reboot capital is lacking? Are you bored? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you carrying out your morning reboot routine? Where are you going astray?

Once you understand where things are wrong, take action to fix them. Employ some of your tools and skills to strengthen the area that you’re struggling with. You’ll never stop edging if you don’t have the discipline and take the time to develop an awareness of your patterns and get to the bottom of the behavior. 

Hold yourself accountable to your accountability partner or the group and get back on track. You don’t need to attach emotional words to objective experiences. The longer you continue that, the longer it will take to overcome your behavior. 

If you’re still having trouble eliminating your behavior and don’t have an accountability partner yet, join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. Hundreds of men in the group understand the struggle and have experiences to learn from. You don’t need to deal with your compulsive behavior alone – there’s an entire brotherhood here to help.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Stop Edging and Overcome Porn Addiction Read More »

How to Stop Porn Addiction: Overcoming Compulsive Use

How to Stop Porn Addiction: Overcoming Compulsive Use

Pornography is a touchy topic to talk about.

It’s something that you engage with during private times. Millions of people view porn to varying degrees, with tens of thousands accessing porn sites every second. Not everyone believes watching porn is problematic, but problems do arise for some people who view it.

Porn addiction is a serious problem for an estimated 3 to 6% of the population in the United States.1 Exact numbers are difficult to come by because high-speed internet pornography took off faster than researchers could keep up. People are also hesitant to talk about porn addiction problems because of the stigma surrounding them.

But you’ll never learn how to stop porn addiction if you aren’t able to ask for help. Still, the guilt and shame that people feel about their porn use make it almost impossible to reach out. Is there hope for people with pornography addiction? It may feel like compulsive porn use and masturbation will never go away, but there are tools you can use to overcome porn addiction.

What is Pornography Addiction?

Plenty of people view porn occasionally and the wide range of internet browsing data available backs that up. Use has skyrocketed over the last few decades, spurred by a few factors. Public opinion regarding porn has relaxed significantly. Additionally, the evolution of the internet has placed high-speed internet porn into the hands of anyone with a smartphone.

While not everyone who uses porn develops a problem, some become dependent on the images and videos they consume. Pornography addiction is the compulsive and uncontrolled use of pornography. Porn addiction has become a serious problem alongside the skyrocketing rates of pornography use among the population.

Some clinicians suggest that porn addiction problems are not a “real diagnosis.” They misunderstand the impact that porn has on men, especially as it has evolved over the last few years. Porn addiction causes difficulties in relationships, careers, families, and society as a whole.

How Porn Addiction Starts

Porn addiction problems are serious and often progressive. It typically begins during adolescence, often as an accidental exposure. With the incredible amount of pornography available on even the most common of sites, it’s difficult for children to avoid it entirely.

Young boys often seek out porn to learn more about sex or to explore themselves sexually.2 The sudden rush of dopamine from porn and masturbation becomes appealing to some of these young men and they continue engaging with it.

Most don’t realize they have a porn addiction problem until it’s too late. Oftentimes it starts during adolescence and progresses during their teenage years. When most or all sexual experiences occur on a screen, though, it severely affects sexual development. This lack of experience carries into adulthood and becomes a serious and ever-increasing problem.

Porn Addiction Symptoms

How do you know when porn addiction becomes a problem? There are some porn addiction symptoms you can look for to determine whether your use has crossed the line. Symptoms of pornography addiction include things like:

  • Losing interest in sex
  • Using porn to manage or cope with difficult emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues
  • Experiencing relationship problems with your spouse or partner because of your pornography use
  • Watching porn in risky situations, such as at work, in your car, or another public place
  • Ignoring responsibilities to watch porn
  • Having trouble focusing on tasks and activities because of preoccupation with thinking about porn
  • Viewing progressively more intense or extreme genres of porn to feel the same sense of arousal
  • Feeling ashamed, guilty, or frustrated for watching porn but continuing to watch it
  • Spending lots of time either watching porn, thinking about porn, or feeling tired from watching it for long periods
  • Spending lots of money on pornography, chat sites, or cam sites, even at the expense of necessities
  • Watching illegal genres of pornography after “vanilla” porn is no longer engaging
  • Progressing to real-life enactments of taboo or illegal acts seen in preferred genres of porn
  • Wanting to stop using porn but finding yourself unable to

If you notice any of the signs above, you may want to reconsider your relationship with pornography. It’s easy to convince yourself that you don’t have a problem. If you aren’t able to control your use, though, and it continues to get worse, it’s time to reach out for help.

How to Stop Porn Addiction

Learning how to stop porn addiction starts with asking for help. The Porn Reboot system offers a simple, straightforward solution to your problem with porn addiction. We understand that porn is not a moral problem and it doesn’t mean you’re worthless. There is a biological explanation for your preference for porn but it’s long surpassed its usefulness.

Instead, the Porn Reboot program equips you with the tools and skills necessary to overcome porn addiction. It starts right here with you. Make the decision to reach out today and begin your journey to freedom from the grips of porn addiction.

References

  1. Journal of Clinical Medicine. (2019). Online Porn Addiction: What We Know and What We Don’t.
  2. Enough is Enough. (2021). Pornography.

 

How to Stop Porn Addiction: Overcoming Compulsive Use Read More »

Using Your Morning Routine to Eliminate Negative Emotions

Using Your Morning Routine to Eliminate Negative Emotions

What does a typical morning look like for you?

Do you get up on your first alarm or do you hit the snooze button a few times? Do you leave yourself time to settle into the day or do you hustle straight from bed to the car to the first thing on your schedule? Do you have a morning routine in place or is each morning a haphazard attempt to get your day started as quickly as possible?

Be honest.

If you’re like most men at the start of their reboot, you probably sleep as late as possible and rush out the door. You don’t use your mornings to set the pace for your day; you’re hardly even awake and intentional with them in the first place.

Morning routines may sound a bit played out at this point. It seems like everyone worth anything has at least some sort of morning routine in place. But perhaps that’s the case because there’s something to be said about morning routines.

I believe that starting your morning intentionally with a set routine is one of the most effective ways to have a good day. Over time I’ve found that they’re a powerful tool for a successful reboot, useful for improving mindfulness, eliminating negative emotions, and more. A reboot routine is specifically designed for you to control your day and get the most out of each one.

If you’re intentional about your mornings, you can start every day with a blank slate in your mind. It takes practice and consistency but it’s the most effective way to operate. Here are some tips to get you started as you start developing a morning routine.

No Electronics

I avoid my phone entirely when I first wake up. No texting, no emails, no social media, not even my calendar app. If you’re the type of guy who wakes up in the morning and scrolls through Instagram, Facebook, or the news first thing, you need to stop. All this does is transform your blank slate into an ever-expanding to-do list. Additionally, any negativity you consume in the morning can set the pace for the remainder of your day. Electronics are strictly off-limits for me for the first hour of the day.

Meditate in the Morning

Meditation is a crucial part of the reboot process for many men. One of the best tips I have to offer is to practice meditation in the morning before the day has a chance to get away from you. Consistent morning practice will contribute to that blank slate we’re hoping to achieve from the morning routine process. If you want to incorporate meditation into your day, I recommend you do it in the morning just like I do.

Start Your Days Quietly

Other than my alarm, I don’t listen to anything during the earliest part of my day. I don’t put on music or podcasts or even white noise. I allow myself to sit in the silence of the morning as I move through the first few aspects of my morning routine. It’s not until those things are completed that I take my phone out, and even then it’s only to put my headphones in and listen to affirmations. Those affirmations are the first thing I hear each morning before I head to the gym.

Recognize That Your Routine Is an Investment

How to stop porn addiction?

Martin Luther, a famous Protestant reformer, said something that I’ve always remembered: “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours of the day in prayer.” I’m sure that sounds insane and counterproductive when you first hear it, but it’s true. The more time you set aside to get your mind right in the morning, the less time you’ll waste throughout the day. 

I find that to be true for my morning routine. Every minute I invest pays itself back as I move smoothly and successfully through my day. If you haven’t taken the time to establish and follow through on a morning routine, I highly recommend you try it. 

Take a few of these tips and find some practices that work for you. Make adjustments until you find a combination that sends you into the most effective day possible. There’s power in a morning routine, brother; harness it and use it to your advantage.

Using Your Morning Routine to Eliminate Negative Emotions Read More »

Scroll to Top