Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever

porn addiction problem

The Forgotten Skill of Forgiveness

The Forgotten Skill of Forgiveness

What do you think of when you hear the word forgiveness?

It may call to mind the religion of your childhood. Maybe you think of a resentment you’re trying to let go of and working on forgiving someone in your life. Or you might think of the need for forgiveness in your own life from people who were harmed by your behavior.

I believe forgiveness is a forgotten skill. It empowers you to overcome some of the things that hold you back most in your reboot. Hanging onto anger keeps you a prisoner of your emotions. Learning to forgive provides the freedom you’ve looked for in many different avenues up to this point.

Are you harboring a grudge over certain things that were said or done in the past? It’s difficult to reach the later stages of your porn addiction recovery if you won’t let go of past harms done. However, you likely aren’t sure how to get to a point where you can release them. That’s why I consider forgiveness to be a forgotten skill.

Take a moment to recall some of the worst times of your life with your out-of-control sexual behavior. You’re probably like me in that I said and did many things that caused lots of harm to others. My words and actions resulted in physical, emotional, financial, and psychological damage. I destroyed lots of relationships because porn addiction problems and masturbation were more important than anything else. Sometimes today I still cringe at the terrible things I did in my past and the hurt I caused others.

I also found that I was holding a lot of grudges when I first ended my behavior with porn and masturbation. I was so angry at other people for the way they treated me, despite the awful things I had done as well. That didn’t stop me from feeling angry for being mistreated and taken advantage of in different situations.

Safe to say I had a lot of baggage when I finally decided to control my out-of-control behavior. Forgiveness was the last thing on my mind. But I had to release some of the weight of all I was carrying because it was too painful to carry on. It wasn’t until later that I realized letting go of some of that weight was the first step to forgiveness.

Religious leaders will have you believing that forgiveness begins with others. You need to turn the other cheek and not hold grudges for what was done to you. While these are useful skills to develop, they’re likely to feel impossible when you first begin the reboot process. You can commence at a simpler level when learning to forgive.

Forgiveness begins with you. It starts with forgiving yourself for the harmful behavior you’ve engaged in for so many years. Learning to forgive yourself frees you from the heavy load of guilt and shame that you’ve carried around for so long. As you truly embrace forgiveness for yourself, you’ll find lightness in the world that you never imagined possible.

Once you’re able to forgive yourself you can then extend forgiveness to others. Consider those you carried grudges against or felt resentment towards. Call each grudge or resentment to mind and consider whether it’s worth continuing to carry or if it’s time to forgive and move forward.

Something many people mistake about forgiveness is that it’s for the other person. They believe they need to forgive someone for that person’s sake. But forgiveness is for you, not for others. Forgiveness is a process that frees you from the mental strain and burden caused by carrying all that anger, frustration, and bitterness around.

Once you forgive someone you no longer allow them or their behavior to weigh you down. Those resentments you’ve carried for years play a significant role in what holds you back from success and happiness.

At the same time, this doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for the harm you caused. While forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving, it doesn’t mean you get away with doing what you did. You still must acknowledge your wrongdoings and make restitution where you can. A simple “sorry” will not do, either. You’ve made apologies for years. It’s time to make genuine amends for the ways you’ve harmed others.

Once you can forgive yourself, though, facing the people you hurt becomes more tolerable. You know that you’re no longer the same person and can stand firm in your newfound convictions. As you continue to work on yourself, forgiveness will remain a constant and important part of maintaining emotional balance and wellbeing in your reboot.

The Forgotten Skill of Forgiveness Read More »

Porn Addiction Problem: Insecurity Around Other Men

Porn Addiction Problem: Insecurity Around Other Men

A brother in our group noticed this recently and initiated a great conversation and by the way, he had major porn addiction problems. He said,

“I went to a bachelor party for my cousin not too long ago. When I arrived at the place and saw nothing but brand new BMWs, Benzes, Audis, and all these other luxury cars. There were like 50 of these different cars. Meanwhile, I pulled up in my Honda Civic with a different colored door.

“I saw a ton of guys with loads of money walking in and out of the building so I didn’t walk in. I didn’t even make it past the parking lot. I left because I was so filled with feelings of shame, anxiety, and inferiority. Have you guys ever experienced something like this?”

I appreciate these vulnerable posts because they often express something most of us deal with. You might think you’re alone in feeling a certain way but I can almost guarantee you that at least one other brother in the group relates to what you’re going through.

Feeling insecure around other men is a big problem for guys like us. As you may know, I grew up in poverty and my academic performance was terrible. When I was in my twenties and took my first job in door-to-door sales, I realized it would take many years for me to get those nice things our brother talked about in his post. 

Although I couldn’t immediately acquire these nice external resources, I realized that I could maximize my internal resources and my external physique in the meantime. I developed a dedicated gym routine. I started working on my social skills. I was determined to overcome my crippling anxiety. I knew that honing these skills would make a massive difference as I worked to get some of those nicer things I wanted. 

While these things didn’t get me a nice car or a nice apartment, they did keep me from worrying so much about the station wagon I drove around. I felt strong and confident, less concerned about what others thought of me. That confidence played into how I carried myself, how I integrated with others, and how I felt about myself as a whole.

Here’s the thing, brother: yes, it’s great to drive a nice car. It feels awesome to have a huge house, an expensive watch, designer clothing, and luxurious vacations. I won’t deny that those are all enjoyable things.

But here’s the other thing: if you don’t do any internal work and develop some confidence, none of your external circumstances matter. You could roll up in the most expensive Maserati on the planet but if you don’t know how to carry yourself then you’ll still feel insecure. You might be able to cling to your possessions for some time but they’ll eventually give way and you’ll find yourself feeling inferior again.

I truly believe that you should first focus on developing yourself. Work on your personality, your character, the energy you give out, the way you carry yourself, and your physique. When you focus on developing these things to the highest possible level, the result shines much brighter than even the nicest car you could buy.  Eliminating porn addiction problems along the way.

Of course, there’s also nothing wrong with upgrading your vehicle to one that has four doors that match. But developing yourself allows you to carry yourself with confidence regardless of your circumstances, and that is something that no one can take away from you.

Porn Addiction Problem: Insecurity Around Other Men Read More »

Getting Out There

I often get asked by men about what’s likely to happen to their sex life during recovery.

This question comes as no surprise. 

There’s a popular opinion that trying to have sex while struggling with porn addiction can lead you to sex addiction. Those guys who ask me about it are likely worried about their condition getting worse.

Well, I can say with confidence that this opinion isn’t true. 

You won’t make your addiction worse or get addicted to sex if you have sexual relationships with women during recovery.

In fact, having sex could save you from your porn addiction problems.

How do I know?

It’s because I proved it myself.

You see, during my recovery, I simultaneously worked on improving my sexual life.

I also dedicated two whole years to working on my anxiety issues with women. 

In doing so, I spent that time approaching and talking to women who I found attractive. I also had sexual relationships with some of them.

Now, I didn’t pick up that idea out of nowhere. It came from a book by Albert Ellis, the founder of rational behavior therapy. 

Ellis was a psychologist who had an issue with anxiety. To overcome it, he spent the entire summer going out to a park and talking to hundreds of women. 

Granted, that approach was a bit extreme, but it worked for him.

A similar approach worked for me, too. In fact, I can say with certainty that doing so can bring your deepest issues to the surface.

During those two years that I spent meeting and approaching women, I came face to face with my darkest demons. I also became aware of how deep my porn addiction was. 

The key thing in all of it was exposure. 

By putting myself out there, I got into a situation where I could no longer run from my issues. I had to shed some of the limiting beliefs I had about women and sex, learn how to connect with women authentically, and endure plenty of rejection.

As a result, I overcame my social and sexual anxiety. 

I know that this exposure helped my recovery immensely. 

And I know it can do the same for you, even if it sounds scary right now.

So, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

Getting Out There Read More »

What is Porn Addiction?

What is porn addiction?

Porn addiction problems, which includes an addiction to internet-based sex is becoming more common.

Watching a lot of pornography online does not mean that you have a porn addiction. But there are many people who find that they can’t stop watching porn even if they really want to. That is when a hobby becomes an addiction.

How Can Porn Addiction Affect Your Life?

Now, porn addiction can affect your career, your family life, and your ability to date or develop intimate relationships.

The internet has made it easy to access various ways of fulfilling your sexual desires and have anonymous sex. This can be very problematic for anyone who feels that they don’t have much control over their sexual impulses.

Porn addiction is using pornography to the point where you experience negative consequences. Porn addicts feel an absolute lack of control over their ability to stop watching pornography even in the face of severe negative consequences in their life.

You find yourself wasting a significant amount of time, taking away from the time you usually dedicate to your family, friends, or career.

Your ability to be sexually and emotionally intimate with a real person drastically reduces. This sometimes fears of intimacy and social anxiety because it’s much easier to watch a video than to go out and interact with a real person.

Internet Sex and Porn Addiction

Porn addiction also includes an addiction to the internet or cyber sex. This happens through chat rooms, smartphone apps, various types of social media and websites.

A lot of people enjoy internet sex because it doesn’t require intimacy and your fantasies can be easily fulfilled. Internet sex is so dangerous because it is a gateway to dangerous and risky situations such as anonymous sex. This happens when you’ve used internet porn and internet sex to the point that you become desensitized to it.

Compulsive masturbation with or without pornography often accompanies internet porn addiction. Porn addicts can spend hours and hours isolated in a world of fantasy and masturbation.

If you feel an obsession with pornography and masturbation in addition to a loss of control over your life, it’s important to seek help. Working with an addiction recovery coach is a necessary step to overcome porn addiction, masturbation addiction, and internet sex addiction.

A trained recovery coach can help you stop your most compulsive behaviors and also overcome your feelings of guilt and shame.

 

 

What is Porn Addiction? Read More »

How To Fix Immediate Gratification

Whats better than an orgasm, really?

Its one of the most exhilarating and pleasurable experiences we can have as human beings. I’m sure there is a mental equivalent with drugs, but orgasm comes without any side effects a precisely for that reason, there is nothing that competes with it.
I always laugh when I hear people who are anti-drug or anti-alcohol, preach against these things, yet they are addicted to releasing a chemical cocktail in their brains several times a day. …

How To Fix Immediate Gratification Read More »

Why Is It So Hard To Quit Porn?

Do you have a resistance to admitting that you have a “porn addiction”?

I admit- when I began my journey to end my out of control porn addiction problems and masturbation behavior, I simply refused to categorize myself as an “addict”. After all, I came from an educated, moderately religious family with conservative values. …

Why Is It So Hard To Quit Porn? Read More »

How To Test for Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED)

There is quit a bit of confusion around the effects of pornography on sexual health. Some guys email me asking about porn induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), others worry about when they will regain “morning wood” which refers to the erections men with healthy testosterone levels experience when they wake up in the morning.

Gary Wilson, from YourBrainOnPorn developed a simple test for guys to find out if their sexual performance is directly related to porn or instead, comes from performance anxiety.

I’ve modified his this test based on my surveys with over 300 of my one on one clients as well as my personal experience with PIED.
As you know- recovery from porn addiction changed my life in every way- my health, finances, relationships and mindset become better through recovery. For the underachieving, below average guy who isn’t hitting his potential, recovery is self improvement. My life is a testimony to that.
I believe that men who suffer from PIED should recover and have even better sexual health than what they experienced prior to addiction.  If you’ve never had sex,no worries- my method of recovery will put in you a position to not just perform well sexually, but to constantly improve over time.  The truth is, if you suffer from PIED, are a virgin and plan on being sexually active, you don’t really have a choice.

Lets begin:

1) Visit a Urologist and get some tests done. Urologists are physicians who specialize in the genitourinary tract. This includes the bladder, adrenal glands, reproductive organs, kidneys and urethra. They also specialize in male fertility with the training to medically and surgically treat any diseases that affect these organs.

A good portion of my clients have visited a urologist only to find that they have severely low testosterone levels, which is a common problem in most men today.
Processed food, personal care products containing parabens (over 90% of mens deodorants and lotions contain testosterone destroying chemicals), and lifestyle choices among other factors contribute to low testosterone levels.
Low testosterone zaps your motivation, leaves you feeling constantly fatigued and eliminates your desire for sex .
Understandably, not everyone had access to a urologist or the insurance to cover a visit. An affordable alternative is to have all your tests done at home. Personally, during extended stays away from my physician, either for business or out of the country working with a client, I use EverlyWell. This company provides affordable in-home tests, which can be mailed back to them. You receive your test results and an analysis back within a in a few days.
The best part? They work with a physician network to ensure that your test requisition is authorized by a board-certified physician in your state and that your results are reviewed and released by a physician prior to you receiving them.
In fact, I get my hormone levels checked with them three times a year and I’m about to take their Testosterone test right now.

To see the variety of affordable tests EverlyWell offers, click on the image below. At checkout, use the PornReboot code “MY2017” for 10% off your test of choice.

2) Imagine your favorite porn scene and masturbate to it ONCE. Do not watch porn. If you are in recovery and haven’t slipped, this doesn’t apply to you for now. Your recovery and reboot takes priority over potential ED. Skip #2 & #3 and go straight to your urologist or pick up a kit from EverlyWell

3) At another time- a few days later, for instance, masturbate without fantasizing to porn or without a fantasy. Simply masturbate with no visual or mental aids- just pure stimulation.When you are done, compare two things:

How long it took you to achieve orgasm each timeThe strength of your erection in both situations

If you are sexually healthy, you shouldn’t experience any problems with achieving orgasm in both occasions

If you are unable to masturbate or orgasm without a fantasy, but have no problems when you vividly replay a porn scene, you most likely suffer from Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.(PIED)

If you don’t have any issues with your erection or orgasm without the aid of a fantasy, but when having sex you have trouble maintaining or getting an erection, you most likely have Erectile Dysfunction brought about by anxiety.

If you suffer from PIED, your porn habit has got to stop immediately.The recover time for Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction varies, but it is something that can cause you significant worry.

The steps to porn addiction counseling are:

1) Quitting porn. Watch my video on the 10 Steps to Quit Porn. to get started.

2) Immediately install a filter and get accountability. The best and most advanced filter with built in accountability comes from Covenant Eyes
3) If you suffer from PIED and can’t seem to control your behavior of watching porn, schedule a call with me to get expert help on your specific situation.

How To Test for Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED) Read More »

Scroll to Top