Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever

porn addiction sign

The Isolated Porn Addict

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

Today’s topic comes from a question brought up in one of our groups. This brother asked,

“J.K., I read your post saying that people who try to live a balanced life tend to not know what their priorities are. I’m headed into my second year of university and my goal is to boost my GPA and improve my social reboot capital by joining clubs at school.

I tend to isolate myself when it comes to my studies, though. I don’t participate in class discussions or answer questions when the teacher asks them. Instead of studying with friends, I go to the library alone and study by myself. I stay in my room, sleep, and repeat.

Is it possible for me to hit both goals or do I need to prioritize one over the other? I don’t want this year in university to be like the first one when I felt overcome by loneliness as I watched my peers connect, but I also don’t want to fail my classes either.”

This is a fantastic question. I appreciate it because it applies not only to our brothers in school but to our brothers in their careers as well. Whether you’re busy with classes and studying or work and trying to build a business or get a promotion, each of these is an important achievement to work towards.

At the same time, many of us find ourselves isolated from our fellows as a result of our out-of-control behavior. We spent years withdrawing from others as we hid away in a cocoon of compulsive porn addiction problem. Reintegrating with the world is a vital part of the reboot process.

But what does rebuilding your social reboot capital look like? It might not look the same for you as it does for other brothers, especially if you’re more of an introvert. This brother mentioned that he prefers studying alone at the library or in his room. He’s attempting to put himself out there by joining some clubs on campus, but he still finds himself spending much of his time alone.

Social reboot capital doesn’t necessarily mean you can tolerate spending hours at a time with people. You must determine who you are as a person when identifying what an effective social reboot looks like for you. That means finding the amount of socialization you can tolerate before losing interest.

Honestly, I’m a pretty big introvert. I find it rejuvenating to spend time alone. I don’t mean isolating myself from people for weeks at a time, but I need some alone time every day. That applies at home, out on the road, or even on guys’ trips with my friends. I recently went to Nashville with some buddies and while they all booked an AirBnB together, I opted to get a hotel room nearby.

I still had some work to do and clients to speak to so I needed space for that. I also prioritize my morning routine and don’t want interruptions, so having my own space made that easier, too. And honestly, there’s only so much catching up I can do with these guys though I still see them as great friends.

We were out there for three days. I had a great time when we went to dinner, hit the gym, or stopped by a bar. I could socialize with them through all of these events and had a blast doing it. At the same time, it was nice to have a space to return to at the end of the night where I didn’t have to deal with guys staying up, talking, and drinking all night. I could maintain my priorities while still having a great time with my friends.

I used to feel like that meant something was wrong with me, but the more time passes, the more I realize that I’m simply an introvert. I need that time alone to recharge my batteries. That might be the case for this brother and it may be the case for you, too. There’s nothing wrong with needing a bit more solitude than those around you.

Don’t use your introverted preferences as a reason to avoid engaging with others, though. It’s important to find some ways to socialize that are interesting and engaging for you. You can join campus clubs, sign up for a dance class, join an improv group, enroll in a martial arts class, or start Brazilian jiu-jitsu, just to name a few. It’s important to put yourself out there socially at least once or twice a week so you start interacting with the world again.

Putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations is the only way we will grow. I had to do it when I was selling Bibles door-to-door as I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about or read here on the blog before. I needed to purposefully put myself in situations where I needed to be social, no matter how uncomfortable I felt at the time.

One of the most important ways you can put yourself out there, brother, is to be a friend. The best way to find a friend is to be a friend. I decided I was going to be the type of friend I was looking for and this was by far the most effective approach I could have taken. I chose to show up for people until they gave me a reason not to. I became far more willing to spend time with people I would not have normally spent time with. And the results were pretty incredible.

I’ll admit not all of those friendships worked out. Some guys I spent time with were needy, others were consistently negative. On the other hand, some of the men I met during this period are still my best friends today. They’re creating exciting lives, building successful businesses, starting beautiful families, and enjoying what the world has to offer.

So I don’t think this brother is abandoning his GPA to build a social life. I think he can find a good balance between the two things by getting honest with himself about who he is and how he prefers to socialize. Perhaps he’s expending more energy than necessary by telling himself he needs to be more social than he prefers. And the same may apply to you, too.

Start by identifying what an effective social reboot looks like for you and go from there. Determine how your progress in your schooling or career fits into that social aspect. And even if you choose to spend more time on your own, don’t neglect the critical component that socialization brings to your reboot either. You can reach a place in the middle that works for you because you alone know what’s best for your social situation.

How Honest Should You Be?

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

I want to bring you a question from one of our brothers in the Porn Reboot group today. He asked:

“My girlfriend and I decided that to protect her heart, I don’t share anything about my reboot slip-ups unless she specifically asks exactly what she wants to know. Sometimes when we’re catching up about our days, though, I’ll have acted out that day. Like she’ll ask how my midday nap was but I watched porn instead of taking a nap. I feel horrible lying to her but I want to keep our agreement. How do I handle this?”

This is a fantastic question because it’s something many men in committed relationships deal with during their reboot. Many spouses and partners of men with a porn addiction problem experience extreme betrayal trauma.

When a man first ends his out-of-control behavior with porn, sometimes his spouse wants to know where he is going and what he is doing at all times. She wants to know whether he’s still watching porn, what type of porn, or what the women he’s watching look like. These women feel unbelievably hurt and for good reason.

This brother’s question means he and his girlfriend are in a good position given the situation. She is aware of his out-of-control behavior and he understands how his behavior hurts her. It sounds like she’s allowing him enough space to work on his reboot without her getting too invested or involved.

However, it also sounds like this brother is someone trapped by the idea that he needs to be honest at all costs. I don’t hold to this belief, especially when it comes to the reboot process. I don’t believe you should lie to your partner but I also don’t think you need to tell her about every slip that occurs.

I think you should have a conversation with her upfront instead. Let her know that slips are often part of the reboot process but you don’t want to put her in the middle of things. Explain that you have a coach, a therapist, and accountability partners to work through those slips with. Tell her you understand that she didn’t sign up to be your accountability partner, nor did she sign up to be hurt. Acknowledge the damage you’ve done and help her see how talking with her about any future slips will only do more harm than good.

If you’re honest about the possibility of slips from the beginning, it eliminates the need to feel like you’re lying by omission. You shouldn’t drag your partner through the weeds every time you slip; it’s your responsibility to fix it and keep her from dealing with the repercussions of your behavior.

Find a way to discuss situations like the one our brother outlined above without bringing up the slip. For example, he could tell her that he had a lot on his mind when he laid down so he wasn’t able to go to sleep.

He doesn’t need to bring up watching porn because it’s ultimately irrelevant. He should talk about the emotions that led up to the slip instead. Perhaps he was tired from the gym or stressed about an intense workload. He could bring these things up and talk them through with his girlfriend so he is honest without needing to talk about his slip.

I recommend you do the same in your relationship, brother. It’s not your partner’s burden to bear, it’s yours. You must find a way to work on your behavior without stringing her along through the process. You don’t need to be completely transparent about every slip but you do need to let her in on what’s going on.

Knowing the fine balance of how much to share is something you learn during the reboot process. Over time you won’t deal with slips as frequently, either, so you won’t have to keep skirting around the topic. The Porn Reboot system works, brother, and both you and your partner will benefit from the work you do.

How to Be Happy

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

Early in the reboot process, you might find yourself wondering when things get better. You’ve spent years trapped in the vicious cycle of porn addiction problems and masturbation addiction. It’s no wonder you want to finally feel some relief. But at the same time, achieving that point of relief and happiness probably seems impossible some days.

I’ve spent 15 years working at my reboot now and I understand the rush to feel “happy.” When I first started ending my out-of-control behavior it had been so long since I felt truly happy. I had no idea what true happiness was, though, because I developed a false sense of fulfillment through porn, sex, and masturbation.

Too many men focus on achieving happiness as an end goal, not recognizing that their understanding of happiness will shift over time. I’ve found that the benchmark for happiness is arbitrary and fleeting and always changing. Things that you think will make you happy may not be what you thought they would be once you achieve them.

At the start of my reboot, I believed that things would be perfect once I had my finances together, once I had the woman, once I had a social life, and once I controlled my sexual behavior. However, I realized as time went on that my belief that the elimination of problems would bring happiness wasn’t true. It’s almost as if problems are a prerequisite for happiness.

If there’s one promise in life it’s that problems will always arise. You can’t experience life to the fullest without also experiencing your fair share of problems. The elimination of all your problems isn’t the pathway to happiness because more will always crop up sooner or later.

Also, think about how you feel when you solve a problem. It may be difficult at the moment, whether that’s a few days, weeks, or even years, but once you work through it you’re likely left feeling incredibly fulfilled. The sense of accomplishment that comes with solving a problem runs deeper than any fleeting sense of happiness ever could.

In my experience, pursuing this deep sense of fulfillment is far more meaningful and lasting than the pursuit of happiness. And I also find that over time, the fulfillment eventually becomes happiness. This means I believe that accepting the inevitability of problems is the first step to happiness.

Recognize the reality that you will never fully escape your problems. You’re always going to have them to some extent. Instead of fighting them, though, try accepting each one as it comes. Shift your perspective and see them as an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow.

The shift won’t happen overnight and it won’t happen easily. Men who struggle with compulsive behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation are always looking for an easy fix. I know that because I spent most of my early life doing the same thing. But quick fixes are not lasting fixes; they only put a bandaid over a wound that needs intensive care.

If you commit to shifting your beliefs about problem-solving, I guarantee you’ll find happiness much faster than the way you’re approaching it now. Sure, things like promotions, raises, having children, and going on trips are great ways to experience happiness. At the same time, once the excitement wears off you’ll find yourself back where you started.

Learning to appreciate the fulfillment of problem-solving and use it as my primary source of happiness has completely changed my life. I welcome the problems I know will inevitably arise and use them as an opportunity to better myself. There will always be a problem to solve; why not use it as the pathway to happiness?

Overcoming Porn-Induced Fetishes

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

“Hey J.K., how do we get rid of porn-induced fetishes? In my case, I have fantasies of being dominated. Things like femdom, face-sitting, edging, and even pegging are a turn-on. When I hear or read the word dominant or domination, it involuntarily makes me think of femdom. And sometimes I even get a soft erection from just hearing the word.

“It makes me disgusted and yet I still find pleasure in it. I’ve started to meditate to increase my awareness of these thoughts and emotions, but every time my mind thinks of pornography it fantasizes about domination. Will this go away with time as I abstain from pornography or do I have to address it in a specific way?”

Porn-induced fetishes are a common experience for plenty of men who deal with porn addiction. I’ve written and talked about them in the past, offering various techniques for overcoming them. As you get deeper into your compulsive porn use, you must seek out more extreme genres to achieve arousal. This usually means finding yourself watching increasingly questionable types of pornography, things you may not have imagined yourself interested in.

Over time, these varying kinds of pornography can affect your arousal template. You might find yourself stimulated by acts that you were never intrigued by in the past. This is exactly what this brother is experiencing now with his femdom fantasies.

Before I go further, I want to point out that there’s nothing wrong with fetishes. Human sexual behavior covers a vast range of interests, fantasies, and fetishes, and you’ll learn to be comfortable with your preferences as you reboot. Today I’m talking about those that are strictly porn-induced, not those that are a genuine part of your sexuality.

I also want to reassure you that you can overcome porn-induced fetishes. More often than not they aren’t a permanent thing. Time away from porn should help you return to your normal arousal template. If you commit to the reboot process you’ll find that you can overcome a lot more than you ever imagined.

Developing awareness is the primary way to work through your unwanted porn-induced fetishes. Self-awareness is key to separating your natural sexual interests from those that arose as a result of your porn addiction. Learning to recognize feelings you experience when thinking about different sexual experiences is key to this process.

For example, porn-induced fetishes cause feelings of shame, regret, and disgust. If you notice any of these arising, you’re likely dealing with one that’s porn addiction problems. The more you learn about yourself and the more you remove porn from your life, the easier it will be to separate the two.

This awareness comes as part of the reboot process. It takes time to figure out what parts are leftover from your porn addiction and what parts are your natural arousal template. As you stick with the system, though, you develop clarity of mind and body. You recognize what is and isn’t for you. And it’s not because you’re fighting your brain; it’s because you’re working with it.

Once you’re fully rebooted, you’ll find that fetishes that left you feeling disgusted with yourself are no longer a part of your life. You won’t feel that small bit of excitement like our brother does when he hears the word “dominant.” Those old fetishes will no longer have power over you and you’ll get to walk the world a free man. This incredible gift is only one of the many things you’ll find as part of the process in Porn Reboot.

Defeating Apathy While Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

I’ve had countless brothers in the group who insist on counting days.

Anyone who has been around the Porn Reboot program for a while knows how I feel about counting days. Still, some men hold onto their streaks as though they’re a helpful or meaningful approach to overcoming out-of-control behavior.

After nearly 15 years of working with men trying to end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, though, I know this tactic doesn’t work. Counting days only builds expectations and apathy. Expectations for what your life “should” look like after a certain point and apathy when that time arrives and it doesn’t look that way at all. Counting days is an arbitrary marker that offers no meaningful insight into progress.

Consider a couple that has been married for 40 years. Sure, from the outside looking in it may seem like they have all the answers. After all, they’ve stayed together this long, right? But what if their marriage isn’t a happy one? They may have amassed a few decades alongside one another but that doesn’t mean their marriage is successful.

Or take a man with a 20-year career making six figures per year. You would assume that after all this time he has an incredible savings account, a hefty investment portfolio, and can retire comfortably. However, if he’s done nothing to be intentional with his money, he’ll be far worse off than you might think. Many men with decades of six-figure incomes have nothing to show for them.

The same applies to counting porn-free days. You can collect days, weeks, months, or years, but they’re worthless if you do nothing to better yourself. There’s a reason the Porn Reboot system is more intensive than other approaches; we provide you with a path to a fulfilling life.

You’ll gain nothing from quitting porn without taking any steps to better yourself in other areas. Quitting porn does not automatically bolster your social life, broaden your career opportunities, or strengthen your relationships. All it does is provide you with more free time that was once occupied by countless tabs and endless videos.

What will you do with all of that time?

Defeating apathy while quitting porn requires intention. You can’t stop porn addiction problems and expect your life to get better without putting in any work. Counting days does nothing to bring about change. You have to put in the work to shift your perspective and build the life you want to live.

This intentional approach is one of the first steps to overcoming the sense of apathy that settles in after you quit porn. And it doesn’t happen immediately. You can’t expect to join the Porn Reboot program and notice a difference by next Wednesday. You have to commit to the process and trust that you’ll find freedom, much like other men who have come before you.

It may seem impossible to escape your sense of apathy but I promise there’s a solution. It might take time to relinquish your old thought patterns and embrace this new way of thinking, but the time it takes will be worth it. You’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish in only a few short months of intentional practice. And if you’re going to quit porn anyways, why not do it in a way that offers the most promising outcome?

The Most Detrimental Porn Addiction Problems

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

Pornography is a central part of society today.

Although people don’t explicitly talk about it, millions of people view porn around the world. Instant access to high-speed internet pornography has created a massive issue among men and women of all ages.

Over the last two decades, attitudes towards pornography have relaxed. It’s almost expected that everyone consumes some form of porn. And the numbers back up that assumption. More than 92 million people access Pornhub every day, breaking down to 63,992 visitors per second.1 Porn sites rank among the top most-visited sites on the entirety of the world wide web.

Instant access to high-speed pornography has created serious porn addiction problems in society. Addiction to pornography is on the rise and it impacts every area of life. From relationships to careers to finances and more, porn addiction can infiltrate and destroy every aspect. How does compulsive porn use affect a person’s life?

What Are Some Porn Addiction Problems?

While using porn isn’t particularly healthy in many circumstances, porn addiction adds another layer of complication. Porn addiction problems affect not only those who consume it but the people who produce it, along with the industry as a whole. What are some of the problems caused by porn addiction?

Problems for Porn Users

The most straightforward and self-explanatory porn addiction problem is less satisfaction with sex in real life. Porn eliminates all intimacy, strips down relationship-building to the bare essentials, and ultimately establishes false expectations. Think about any “storyline” you’ve seen in a pornographic film; how closely does that align with reality?

Pornography deteriorates a person’s ability to build healthy relationships. It causes men to view women as objects rather than whole people with their own wants and needs. Women become a tool for men to use for pleasure, not a person.

Additionally, the more porn a man watches, the more he must think about porn to maintain arousal during intercourse.2 Traditional sex becomes less arousing after watching porn for months or years. Sex in real life becomes less engaging when you’re used to seeing every possible fantasy play out on the screen in front of you.

Porn addiction problems expand to other areas of life, too. Your career is impacted when you repeatedly show up for work late after staying up all night watching porn. This affects your financial well-being, especially if you blow a business deal or end up losing your job.

Pornography addiction symptoms also affect your marriage, your family, and your friendships. They affect your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Porn addiction effects impact your self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall self-image. Ultimately, pornography touches upon every aspect of your life.

Problems in the Industry

Porn addiction problems aren’t limited to the people who watch it; they also affect those who participate in its production. There are countless problems plaguing the porn industry from casting to producing to distributing.

One of the primary problems that porn addiction creates within the porn industry is the demand for increasingly extreme genres. As people consume more porn, they become desensitized to what they’re watching on screen. They need more intense scenes and situations to feel aroused.

While it’s easy to separate from people in porn scenes, they are real people acting out what you watch on screen. This means everything you watch on screen was something a real person had to experience for your pleasure. Violence against women dominates the porn industry, with upwards of 95% of aggression in porn scenes directed at women.

That violence also carries back into real life. People begin to believe that women really want what they see on the screen and some bring it into their sexual encounters. For example, one study shows that 59% of women have experienced slapping, biting, or hair-pulling during consensual sexual intercourse.

Human trafficking is another major porn addiction problem experienced in the industry. Pornography “talent” must come from somewhere, and not everyone is interested in participating. The amount of human trafficking that occurs because of the porn industry is astounding.

How to Quit Porn Addiction

With all the problems caused by porn addiction, it’s difficult to see why someone would still engage. However, it is a serious and progressive problem, and knowing how to stop porn addiction is a difficult thing to learn. Porn addiction withdrawal often keeps men trapped in an unwanted cycle of compulsive porn, sex, and masturbation.

Thankfully, our porn addiction recovery program which is the Porn Reboot system offers a pathway to escape the porn addiction cycle. You can quit your porn addiction and never feel the need to rely on porn again. Porn Reboot is a system that works with your biology to help you overcome your dependence on porn. By rebuilding the areas of your life that porn took away, you’ll find freedom from the grips of porn addiction.

References

Enough is Enough. (2021). Pornography.
Archives of Sexual Behavior. (2016). Pornography and the Male Sexual Script.
Violence Against Women. (2010). Aggression and sexual behavior in best-selling pornography videos.
Savanta ComRes. (2019). Survey of UK women aged 18-39 on their experiences during consensual sexual intercourse.

3 Things More Important Than Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Problems / By J.K Emezi

This might come as a surprise to you but quitting porn isn’t the most important thing you can do.

I know that it might sound strange coming from a man who built his life around helping other men end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But there are some other things you must consider when quitting porn, too.

I don’t emphasize those things immediately because most brothers arrive at the Porn Reboot program with skewed priorities. They believe that their porn use and compulsive sexual behavior are what causes all of their problems. Sure, these things are likely the primary problems in a man’s life when he finds Porn Reboot. But overcoming these problems requires more than just focusing on his behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The three things more important than quitting porn are finances, fitness, and your relationships with women. You can eliminate porn addiction problems from your life but if you don’t address these three things then you’ll still find yourself struggling. Quitting porn doesn’t rewire your brain. Working on these three aspects of life is what kicks off and continues the reboot process.

How does each of these aspects play into your reboot?

Finances

I’m sure you know the timeless phrase, “Money can’t buy happiness.” While there’s some truth to that statement, there’s also a lot of nonsense about it. Money can’t buy happiness but you do need it to have a life that’s worth living. You can’t shuck off money completely and pretend like it has no use.

You need enough money to cover your basic needs and also enough surplus to get some of the things you want. Money is the thing that allows you freedom. It gets you out of situations and circumstances you may have grown up in, or those you found yourself in after years of porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

Regardless of the reasons, getting your finances in order must be a priority. You need money to build a life worth living after ending your out-of-control behavior. From bills to food to hobbies to dates, money is a necessity for a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Fitness

Your health and fitness are another crucial part of a fulfilling reboot. You can take control of your fitness long before gaining control over your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Getting in shape is an automatic way to boost your confidence and begin building self-esteem.

Fitness was the first thing I prioritized when I decided to take the steps to end my out-of-control behavior once and for all. I was six feet tall but weighed maybe 130 pounds at most. I looked pathetic and that was reflected in the way I carried myself. Lifting weights was the first thing I did to begin my reboot process.

I put on some significant size within that first year and have continued prioritizing the gym ever since. The impact on my confidence was immediate and only grew with time. I highly recommend prioritizing your health and fitness as you begin the reboot process. The effects are noticeable even if you continue struggling with your compulsive sexual behavior.

Relationships with Women

Your relationships with women are the third thing that is just as important, if not more important, than quitting porn. Porn addiction problem destroys your ability to connect with a woman, build a fulfilling relationship, and develop intimacy. It makes you view women as objects instead of actual people.

While struggling with your porn use will hold you back from building these relationships, you can still begin the process. Learning to develop these relationships starts with learning to be social again. You’ve likely withdrawn from friends and social events in general over the years. You need to spend time with your buddies and get back out into the world.

Start striking up conversations with women when you’re out with your friends. Try to detach from the inevitable end goal of getting with her and just try to hold a conversation. Ask her questions, ask more questions about her answers, and see how long you can talk with her. All it takes to build relationships is learning to listen and have a conversation instead of talking at people without waiting for their input.

Quitting Porn Over Time

Ultimately, quitting porn is the goal you want to remember. Finances, fitness, and building relationships with women are all important parts of the process. However, if you don’t end your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, not much of it will be useful in the long run.

However, the less you focus only on quitting porn, and the more you focus on these other aspects, the more successful you will be. You’ll find yourself building a life worth living, one that doesn’t require you to retreat into a world of compulsive masturbation and porn use.

The Porn Reboot system is crucial for helping you develop the necessary tools and skills. Over time, you’ll build a foundation for lasting porn addiction recovery from your out-of-control behavior. If you commit to the Porn Reboot process today, I guarantee your life will be unrecognizable in two years. You have everything it takes to end your behavior, brother; all you need to do is take that first step.

Insecurity Around Other Men

Porn Addiction Problems / By Automation Agency Concierge

A brother in our group noticed this recently and initiated a great conversation and by the way, he had major porn addiction problems. He said,

“I went to a bachelor party for my cousin not too long ago. When I arrived at the place and saw nothing but brand new BMWs, Benzes, Audis, and all these other luxury cars. There were like 50 of these different cars. Meanwhile, I pulled up in my Honda Civic with a different colored door.

“I saw a ton of guys with loads of money walking in and out of the building so I didn’t walk in. I didn’t even make it past the parking lot. I left because I was so filled with feelings of shame, anxiety, and inferiority. Have you guys ever experienced something like this?”

I appreciate these vulnerable posts because they often express something most of us deal with. You might think you’re alone in feeling a certain way but I can almost guarantee you that at least one other brother in the group relates to what you’re going through.

Feeling insecure around other men is a big problem for guys like us. As you may know, I grew up in poverty and my academic performance was terrible. When I was in my twenties and took my first job in door-to-door sales, I realized it would take many years for me to get those nice things our brother talked about in his post.

Although I couldn’t immediately acquire these nice external resources, I realized that I could maximize my internal resources and my external physique in the meantime. I developed a dedicated gym routine. I started working on my social skills. I was determined to overcome my crippling anxiety. I knew that honing these skills would make a massive difference as I worked to get some of those nicer things I wanted.

While these things didn’t get me a nice car or a nice apartment, they did keep me from worrying so much about the station wagon I drove around. I felt strong and confident, less concerned about what others thought of me. That confidence played into how I carried myself, how I integrated with others, and how I felt about myself as a whole.

Here’s the thing, brother: yes, it’s great to drive a nice car. It feels awesome to have a huge house, an expensive watch, designer clothing, and luxurious vacations. I won’t deny that those are all enjoyable things.

But here’s the other thing: if you don’t do any internal work and develop some confidence, none of your external circumstances matter. You could roll up in the most expensive Maserati on the planet but if you don’t know how to carry yourself then you’ll still feel insecure. You might be able to cling to your possessions for some time but they’ll eventually give way and you’ll find yourself feeling inferior again.

I truly believe that you should first focus on developing yourself. Work on your personality, your character, the energy you give out, the way you carry yourself, and your physique. When you focus on developing these things to the highest possible level, the result shines much brighter than even the nicest car you could buy. Eliminating porn addiction problems along the way.

Of course, there’s also nothing wrong with upgrading your vehicle to one that has four doors that match. But developing yourself allows you to carry yourself with confidence regardless of your circumstances, and that is something that no one can take away from you.

What Is Awareness While Quitting Porn?

Porn Addiction Problems / By Automation Agency Concierge

pexels tima miroshnichenko

Everything you do in the Porn Reboot system exists to bring you closer to awareness. Whether it’s morning reboot time, building an exercise routine, practicing meditation, or checking in with an accountability partner, all of it is aimed at helping you develop awareness.

Awareness is one of my favorite topics to discuss. It’s a crucial tool for every person but it’s especially necessary for men recovering from out-of-control behavior with porn addiction problems, sex, and masturbation. Men who struggle with these behaviors are not incapable of controlling them; they’re simply unaware of how much control they truly have.

You’re unaware of the things that motivate you, the pain you experience, the source of your stress, and the impact of your limiting beliefs. You have every faculty necessary to recognize them but you’re not aware of how to access them. Teaching you to develop that awareness is the main part of what the Porn Reboot system does.

What is Awareness?

Awareness is the knowledge or understanding that something is happening. Self-awareness includes the ability to think about your thoughts, emotions, or feelings; to determine whether your behaviors align with your standards; to recognize why you take some actions and avoid others.

There are two main types of awareness. Public self-awareness involves understanding and focusing on how you appear to others. Private self-awareness refers to reflecting on your internal states. Both of these forms of awareness are crucial for being successful in eliminating your Porn Addiction Problems.

Why is Awareness Important?

Developing self-awareness is important because it gives you insight into your beliefs and values so you can determine whether your choices and habits are aligned with them. This knowledge empowers you to see where changes need to be made and to make informed choices. It gives you a direction to go so you can make progress and be successful.

The Benefits of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness involves so many positive benefits that it’s hard to think of reasons why you shouldn’t pursue it. Developing self-awareness not only keeps you in the present moment but it bolsters your emotional intelligence. It deepens your sense of empathy. It improves your listening skills and removes you from your head.

Self-awareness not only improves your internal awareness, though; it brings you outside of yourself, too. Cultivating self-awareness brings to your attention just how much time you spend in your head. It helps you see how removed you’ve been from the world you live in.

One of the greatest benefits of self-awareness is the sense of confidence you develop. You derive self-confidence from gaining a more thorough understanding of yourself. You move through the world with your head held high because you have more clarity and positive intent. Your communication skills improve, too, which only increases your self-confidence.

How Do You Develop Self-Awareness?

Journaling is one of the most effective and quickest ways to become more self-aware. Write down your thoughts, emotions, and plans. Work through your mental stumbling blocks on paper. Once you start writing things down, you can track your progress over time to see what works and what doesn’t.

Meditation is another practice that helps you develop self-awareness. It doesn’t have to be as difficult as you may think, either. Too many people have false ideas of what meditation means. Sure, sitting on a cushion and remaining silent for hours of reflection is meditation. But you can also meditate while lying in bed, while sitting on your couch, or even while on your daily commute.

Meditation means developing mindfulness of your surroundings. It means bringing yourself into the moment so you can fully experience what is happening around you and identify how you respond to these things.

Here is an easy introduction practice to meditation. Start by closing your eyes right now and think of three things happening around you or within you. For example, focus on how your feet feel on the ground or your back on the chair. Pay attention to the sensations in your hands or on your face. Identify thoughts that cross your mind. Listen to the sounds in your environment.

Pull three of these things to the front of your mind and focus on them. Recognize the responses you have to them. Don’t attach yourself to them, simply observe. Once you can hold three things at a time, add three more. Begin opening your awareness a bit at a time. Then bring more things into your consciousness as you progress.

Another important way to develop self-awareness is to reach out for help and support. Surround yourself with brothers in the Porn Reboot program who understand what you’re going through. Ask for guidance when you find yourself stuck. Seek out the experiences of other men who have been where you are now.

One of the best places to find this is in the Free Porn Reboot Facebook group. It’s filled with men at various stages of their reboot who know what you’re going through and are working through the same struggles. You never have to deal with your out-of-control behavior alone again; we’re here to help.

Why You Struggle With Intimacy

Porn Addiction Problems / By Automation Agency Concierge

pexels loc dang

I’ve noticed that men feel a sense of urgency to learn to be intimate with their partners as they progress through their reboot.

The years of porn addiction problems eroded their partner’s trust and made it increasingly difficult for them to open up. Developing intimacy is an important part of rebuilding that trust but how can you do that?

Just like your behavior destroyed your partner’s trust, it also affected your ability to be intimate. Before you can learn to rebuild intimacy with your partner you must learn why you struggle with intimacy in the first place. What is it that makes intimacy so difficult for men who are working through an out-of-control behavior?

1. You had no positive examples of what a healthy relationship looks like.

Even though I know my mom and dad loved each other, they never really demonstrated what a healthy relationship entailed. I watched them fight often. I saw him hit her sometimes. She hit him back, threw glasses, screamed. Neither of them provided an example of what a relationship should look like.

I know the same applies to lots of men in porn addiction counseling and our porn addiction recovery reboot program. Their parents didn’t serve as a good model of a healthy relationship. This might be the case for you, too. If you didn’t have a positive example of what a partnership should look like, you won’t inherently know how to build intimacy.

2. You experienced betrayal or inconsistent behavior from people you looked up to while younger.

When role models are absent or inconsistent during your developmental years it makes it difficult to learn how to build intimacy. You adopt negative views of people who are supposed to be taking care of you. Instead, you learn that depending on people leads to hurt and disappointment. You believe that people will never follow through on what they say they’ll do.

These betrayals and inconsistencies don’t create a strong foundation for building intimacy. Trust is a necessity for intimacy. If you can’t trust the people who are supposed to care for you, how can you possibly trust someone else? And if you can’t trust them, how can you build intimacy with them?

3. You believe that lying is the best way to avoid negative consequences.

There were times during my childhood when my parents punished me unjustly. Sometimes they hit me harder than they should have. Other times they were unnecessarily cruel. I didn’t understand why back then but looking back now it was likely because they were stressed out and exhausted. The last thing they wanted to do was deal with a kid who had made a mistake.

I soon learned to lie as a way to avoid those unfair punishments. It kept me somewhat safer while I was younger but it didn’t stay in my childhood. Unfortunately, that practice stuck with me through adolescence and into adulthood. It was easier to be dishonest and avoid discomfort than it was to tell the truth and deal with whatever the outcome was.

While lying may help you avoid those consequences, it’s not a useful practice to keep up as an adult. Eventually, you need to learn to tell the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. This is especially important if you have any hope of building intimacy with your partner.

4. You experienced abandonment.

Abandonment is a painful feeling to experience as a child. Maybe your parents got divorced and one of them left without looking back. When you were let down by those who were supposed to care for you, it often leads to the narrative that everyone you care about will eventually leave.

If you still carry this belief as an adult it will make it impossible to build intimacy. You’ll always be half-in/half-out because you believe your partner will eventually leave you. You must learn to work through these old feelings of abandonment so you can build an intimate relationship.

5. You survived some form of abuse.

Abuse occurs in all forms, from mental and physical to spiritual and sexual abuse. Being a victim of abuse is never your fault no matter what you were told or how it may feel. Abuse destroys your ability to develop intimacy. It causes deep, lasting damage to the psyche and takes time to overcome.

Experiencing abuse at the hands of someone who says they love you teaches you to associate abuse with intimacy. This is particularly true if it happened while you were a young child. Learning to identify and remove yourself from people who exhibit abusive behaviors is challenging but necessary if you want to overcome your struggles with intimacy.

How to Build Intimacy

Once you understand why you struggle with intimacy, learning to build intimate connections is the next step. I’ll dive into this topic on another day because it deserves its own post. Building intimate connections with your partner is crucial, but understanding intimacy is also important for building fulfilling relationships in general. Unless you can learn to overcome the stumbling blocks above, as well as any others you may experience, you’ll continue having a difficult time building intimate relationships with others.

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS AND CONDITIONS

CUSTOM CRAFTED BY QUANTUM

Copyright 2023 Contrarian Solutions, LLC. Disclaimer Of Health Care Related Services: J.K Emezi/Contrarian Solutions, Llc Encourages You/His Client To Continue To Visit And To Be Treated By His/Her Healthcare Professionals, Including, Without Limitation, A Physician Or Therapist. Understand That J.K Emezi Is Not Acting In The Capacity Of A Doctor, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, Psychologist Or Other Licensed Or Registered Professional. Accordingly, You Understand That J.K Emezi Is Not Providing Health Care, Medical Or Mental Health Care Or Therapy Services And Will Not Diagnose, Treat Or Cure In Any Manner Whatsoever Any Disease, Condition Or Other Physical Or Mental Ailment Of The Human Mind And Body.