Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever

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Can You Cure Your Porn Addiction?

I’ve got another great question from a brother in the Porn Reboot Facebook group for you today. He asks: 

“J.K., do you think that you can ever be cured of porn addiction problems? When it plays such a pivotal role in your life from adolescence into adulthood, do you always have to fight urges? Do you have to be careful about relapses for the rest of your life?

“Let’s use you as an example. You feel that you’ve recovered from your porn addiction. Do you ever get urges still? Do you occasionally watch pornography once a month, every six months, or even once a year? Do you have to tiptoe around relapses? Is it a constant battle every day?”

I’m hesitant to use the term “cure.” Con artists have been hucking quick cures since the dawn of time. I believe the only cures you should seek are those from a medical professional. Since I’m not a doctor, nor am I a con artist, I prefer not to view myself or my clients as “cured” of their porn addiction problems.

However, I do know for a fact that you can rewire your brain to no longer need pornography. The Porn Reboot system is designed for that exact purpose. From developing healthy coping mechanisms; to understanding the driving forces behind your behavior; to whatever else pushes you to lean on porn, sex, and masturbation; that’s what Porn Reboot helps you do.

Something in this brother’s question stuck out to me. He asked: “Do you ever get urges even now? Do you still occasionally watch pornography once a month, every six months, or a year?” It’s something that a lot of brothers wonder about at the start of the porn addiction recovery process.

In my case, as well as the cases of many of our brothers, I do not need to. Why? Because I simply do not have the self-image of a man who needs pornography. I’m not interested in watching porn occasionally as a “treat”. I have no reason to.

Most men cannot conceptualize a life free of pornography when they first arrive at the program. They’ve spent years consumed by compulsive porn use. Porn was an everyday thing. The idea that you can go a day, week, month, or year without using porn, not because you have to but because you don’t want to, is unfathomable.

Look at it this way. Why would you want to engage once a month, every six months, or a few times a year, in something that may have ruined your marriage? Something that destroyed your career? Something that shattered your self-esteem? Why would you still want a taste of that? What about that sounds enticing to you?

I know the answers to those questions because I spent years trapped in the cycle myself. And that’s the point of the Pornography Addiction Treatment. I’m not here to “cure” men of their porn addiction. I don’t concern myself with the thought of whether it’s something that can be or should be cured. Instead, I focus on helping men completely rewire their brains so that they never feel the need to go back to that behavior again.

That may sound like you’ll fight a constant battle for the rest of your life from where you’re standing right now, but I promise that it’s not. If you implement the Porn Reboot system, over time you’ll build a life that leaves you with no need for porn or compulsive sexual behavior. You’re going to find yourself immersed in a life far more incredible than you ever imagined, wondering why you ever bothered with porn in the first place. 

If quitting porn still feels like a fight, you haven’t fully committed to the process. There’s still a part of you that believes you can use porn normally. You haven’t accepted that you’re not like other men, a “civilian” as I like to call them. You have a problematic relationship with pornography and you need to replace that neural pathway with something new.

That means joining us here in the Porn Reboot program. We developed a system that has helped thousands of men over the last decade. We’re an ever-expanding network of brothers who know the struggle of porn addiction and know the freedom that can come after it. I invite you to join us, brother, and see for yourself what a porn-free life can be.

The Power of Perception in Your Reboot

Today I want to summarize an interview I recently had with Milan, our Neural Reprogramming Coach here at Porn Reboot. He is an expert at understanding how the brain works, how psychology plays into your reboot, and how to best work with your brain so you can overcome your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

We talked about the power of perception, specifically perceptual positions. I wasn’t very familiar with this topic before our discussion and I walked away with a ton of new information and insight. Our conversation was so eye-opening that I wanted to bring it here to the blog for you. 

Research shows that you receive an average of 11 million pieces of information at a time from all 5 of your senses. However, your active mind is only capable of perceiving around 124 of these different aspects of your environment at once. It then uses your values, beliefs, and other filters to create a manageable understanding of what’s happening around you.

This singular and biased understanding of the world leads you to act and behave in certain ways. Since you’re only interpreting a minuscule amount of all that’s taking place, though, it’s clear you need to make a serious effort to broaden your perspective.

This is where perceptual positions come into play.

Considering different perceptual positions is important because we don’t perceive reality as it is. Sure, we recognize and decipher incoming information but we can only view it through the first-person perspective. Until you realize and understand there are perspectives outside of your own, you’ll continue operating in a very one-dimensional view of the world.

Perceptual positions free us from this single dimension. They open up different ways of looking at things. This helps you develop a deeper sense of empathy for other people in your life as well as in the world at large. What exactly are perceptual positions and how can they help you in your reboot?

Understanding Perceptual Positions

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.” That understanding of the world is exactly what perceptual positions refer to. They’re about understanding someone else’s experience as well as your own experience from a different angle. It’s about your ability to change camera angles or tune in to a different radio station if you will. 

There are three main perspectives you can view the world from. 

The first is through your own eyes at how things are happening right now at this moment, fully experiencing life as you see it. 

The second is through the position of “other”, or observing things from someone or something else’s perspective, looking for additional information about the situation or event you may not see from where you’re standing.

The third is through a combination of these two perspectives, taking a sort of “bird’s eye view” of what’s going on and considering a combination of both the first and second person perception.

Each perspective is useful for different reasons during different circumstances and situations. For example, spending most of your time in the first person is necessary for you to live life effectively. But when you find yourself running up against obstacles or feeling stuck, shifting to the second or third forms of perspective will offer deeper insight into what’s going on.

Drawbacks of a Singular Perspective

Living in a single perceptual position puts you at a serious disadvantage. You hold yourself back from so much in the world when you refuse to open yourself to alternative perspectives. Whether it’s the first, second, or third perspective, living in only one of them keeps you from fully engaging with life.

When you operate from the first perspective, you’re only thinking about yourself. People who live only in the first person come across as selfish, have a limited understanding of how others feel, and often lack awareness about the consequences of their actions.

When you operate from the second perspective, you’re thinking too much about other people. Those who live here give away their autonomy. They place too much emphasis on the opinions of others and allow everyone else to dictate and control their lives. 

When you operate from the third perspective, you’re too far removed from the world. Some may think that a blended view of the world should be what you strive for at all times, but it keeps you separated from your personal experience of life. 

How Perceptual Positions Help Your Reboot

Perceptual positions are useful for everyone. Broadening your worldview is never a bad idea. But perceptual positions are especially useful for men who struggle with porn, sex, and masturbation. How are they useful for you in your reboot?

Spending years of your life trapped in a compulsive cycle of porn addiction tends to be a very isolating experience. Most men arrive at the Porn Reboot program defeated and hiding from the people in their lives. They’ve driven themselves fully into one of the three main perspectives and used it to survive up to this point.

But a successful porn addiction recovery program requires you to reframe every aspect of your life, including the perspectives through which you view the world. If you’re stuck in your perception, you likely can’t see the damage you’re doing to others. If you’re stuck in the second perception, you probably don’t realize how much you’ve hurt yourself. If you’re stuck in the third perception, you have all but detached from your circumstances and are just trying to get by.

You must consider each perspective if you want to fully recover from your compulsive behavior. Looking at the situation from each of the three main perspectives provides more clarity than any one of them can offer. Once you have a full picture and understanding of the reality of your behavior you can begin the process of overcoming it.

Exercise to Practice Perceptual Positions

Milan offered a useful exercise for you to practice opening yourself to different perceptual positions. First, start by developing an awareness of the main ways you interact with those around you. Recognize where you operate from primarily. Do you spend most of the time thinking about yourself, about how they view you, or detached from the interaction in some sort of third-person experience? 

Now, regardless of which is your primary perspective, notice things from the first person. Sit with yourself and notice what you’re seeing, feeling, hearing, and thinking. What is going on around you? How are you interpreting the experiences in your immediate surroundings? 

Gather as much information as you can while sitting in the first person.

Then, shift into the second person. Embody someone or something around you and look at your surroundings from this new perspective. Consider how things look from an outside perspective. How are the things you see, feel, and hear different when you’re experiencing them in the second person?

Finally, detach from both the first and second person and instead combine them. Look at all sides of the situation and try to observe them objectively. Ask questions about the circumstances. Notice patterns that exist in each perspective, the beliefs that drive the way you and others interact with the world around you.

This third perspective is where you receive the most knowledge about the truth of a situation. It isn’t biased toward either yourself or others; it looks at situations objectively and draws the most logical conclusions as free from bias as possible.

Incorporating this practice into your daily life will widen your perspective and the lens through which you view the world. It will make you more useful, deepen your sense of empathy, and broaden your understanding of how you interact with people and how they interact with you. Perceptual positions are a powerful way to connect with the world around you!

 

Psychedelics and Rebooting from Porn Addiction

Psychedelic drugs aren’t a new phenomenon.

The 60s and 70s are notorious for the spread of psychedelics and the influence these drugs had on lots of the music and art during that period. They’re often touted as a way to get in touch with your spirituality and to increase your awareness of and feelings of oneness with the world.

Lots of brothers ask about the effects of psychedelics on their reboot. They wonder whether the spiritual awareness and awakening that comes from psychedelics have any benefit on their relationship to porn, sex, and masturbation. It comes up often enough that I feel it’s finally important to address here on the blog.

Full disclosure, I don’t have much experience with psychedelics. The only time I’ve used any psychedelic drug is when I microdosed psilocybin. Although it was an interesting experience it also wasn’t out of the ordinary. I’ve never gone on a full trip but I also don’t feel the need to have one, either. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to try different psychedelics but I’ve chosen to focus on other practices for my reboot instead.

I choose to lean into my meditation practice for the time being rather than test the waters of psychedelics. I’ve known many psychonauts who credit their psychedelic experiences for their insight. I may explore that avenue of consciousness and spirituality at some point and I hope it enhances my life as I’ve seen it do with others.

That being said, I have never seen anyone end their out-of-control sexual behavior with psychedelics. 

Sure, men gain plenty of insight when using these substances. I’ve seen men become more empathetic, seen them uncover a deep-seated roadblock, seen them work through unresolved belief systems. It provides a way to get in touch with a lot of your suppressed emotions or develop a spirituality you felt incapable of cultivating before. Psychedelics offer an avenue for exploration and self-discovery that is unique to this experience alone. 

However, they aren’t a requirement for you to successfully overcome your porn addiction. I know many men who stress the magic of psychedelics but still battle with their compulsive behavior. I also know many men who, like me, have never had a psychedelic experience yet live happy, fulfilling lives free from their behavior with porn and masturbation.

I’m not saying that psychedelics are an absolute no or that they don’t have their uses. But I am saying that they aren’t a necessity. You don’t need to trip to get in touch with your emotions. You don’t need to trip to develop reboot capital or develop a routine. You don’t need to trip to control your behavior.

At the same time, if you believe a psychedelic experience will offer you deeper insight into the work you’re already doing, then by all means go ahead. I’m not here to discourage or dissuade anyone from doing something they may find helpful for their porn addiction recovery. But I’m also not here to tell anyone they need to do something when it’s far from being a necessity.

Another thing to consider is the effects that psychedelics can have. People who are prone to depression or anxiety aren’t the best candidates for psychedelic experiences. From what I understand, trips can be difficult to control and if you panic at any point the experience can become very overwhelming very fast.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question other than you do not have to take psychedelics to overcome your out-of-control behavior. The tools you learn in the Porn Reboot system are more than enough to help you gain control of your porn addiction and masturbation.

If you’re concerned that psychedelics may not be a good experience for you, there’s nothing wrong with not using them. However, if you’re doing the work to control your behavior and feel that psychedelics may enhance the process, you might find them to be a useful tool. Psychedelics work for some but not for all. Whatever decision you make, I promise you that rebooting is still possible.

Cultivating Self-Awareness

Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the level of consciousness that created it.”

This quote resonates so deeply with me because it applies directly to compulsive behavior with porn and masturbation. You must evolve your consciousness to free yourself from the shackles of your sexual behavior. You have to move beyond where you are currently to become an expert at yourself if you want to change.

I recently discovered just how effective meditation is for letting go of my deepest attachments, beliefs, and fears. Right now I’m meditating two hours a day to harness the power of that clarity so I can seek relief. I’m not exaggerating, either – I literally sit down for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening to go deep within myself.

Meditation is the practice that helps me remove barriers standing in my way of becoming an expert at myself. It’s how I cultivate the self-awareness necessary to continue moving upward in life. This in turn gives me the tools to teach you and the rest of the brothers in the program how to remove barriers standing in your way, too.

The problem with most men is that they don’t want to become self-aware. They’re too attached to their current life to evolve. They still want to do things like binge-watch YouTube, scroll Facebook endlessly, or listen to mindless podcasts. They’re not interested in the work and dedication it takes to create deep, lasting change.

This may be the case for you, too. Maybe you’re getting little dopamine hits from Reddit and Twitter. You might prefer going to bed late and eating junk food all the time. Perhaps you consume too much mainstream news and find yourself stuck in a cynical mindset throughout the day.

This also means you’re attached to doubts, irrational beliefs in your willpower, pride, fear of being judged, and ultimately your weakness. Yet you take the easy route time and time, wondering why you’re stuck in this rut of negativity and unable to make any lasting changes.

Freedom from this behavior isn’t gained by visiting a therapist’s office for an hour each week. It’s not found by posting in a Facebook group or Reddit thread. You can’t discover it by sharing with a 12-step group week after week or escaping through fitness or nutrition.

The only way to find freedom from these inner beliefs is through cultivating self-awareness. Self-awareness is the key to your escape from limiting beliefs and, ultimately, your porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior.

So what’ll it be, brother? Are you going to do the work to become self-aware and obtain porn addiction recovery or remain in your prison of mindlessness?

A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy

Do you ever feel apathetic during your reboot?

Apathy is something a lot of men run into while working through their porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. It’s frustrating when it happens because we know the pain that brought us to reboot. We understand the serious impact that our porn addiction counseling had and still has, yet we often reach a point where we don’t give a damn about our reboot.

I want to reassure you that apathy is a very normal part of the process. If you’re at this point you’re not alone. In fact, if a man doesn’t experience feelings of apathy during the reboot process then something is wrong.

A recent question from one of our brothers summed this up perfectly:

“After doing the feelings exercise for a solid while, I’ve observed that a strong emotion I encounter which tends to lead to a slip or an unproductive day is apathy. It’s a very constant factor where I don’t feel like doing anything because it seems like nothing matters. 

“Does anyone have any advice on how I can work on dealing with this? How can I snap myself out of the pit of apathy that I tend to fall into now?”

I’ve found that apathy begins the moment you run into a challenge, especially when you realize it might take a while to overcome it.

What are some things you feel apathetic about? Are they things that you don’t actually care about? If you’re honest with yourself, they’re usually things you care a lot about but it’s going to take time and effort to accomplish or work through them.

In reality, apathy is often an avoidance mechanism. This is exactly why apathy is a common part of the reboot process. When you get to the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot program and realize how much work it takes to implement the system, apathy kicks in and you try to convince yourself that you don’t really care.

Overcoming apathy is an important part of the reboot process. You need to trust that these feelings are normal and that they will pass so you don’t give in and relapse as a result. 

The first step to overcoming apathy is learning to recognize your apathetic thoughts. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t have enough willpower to be successful with your reboot. It might be the belief that you’ll never control your urges. Perhaps you think you couldn’t possibly do this every day for the rest of your life.

Next, you need to understand that any time you tell yourself you can’t do something you’re really saying that you won’t do it. It’s not can’t, it’s won’t. It’s a refusal to do the things that you know will take work because putting in the effort sounds exhausting.

You always have a choice. Let’s say you need to wake up earlier in the morning to have enough time for your morning routine. Although you’re perfectly capable of waking up early, you probably don’t want to because you already have a set way of doing things. Maybe it’s the journaling or writing exercises that you object to. You don’t want to write for any assignments because it’s not a pleasurable, dopamine-inducing activity.

But if you want to be successful in your reboot, you need to change every aspect of your life.

I’ll never lie to you and tell you that rebooting is easy but I will tell you that the result is worth it. Pushing through the feelings of apathy and doing things you don’t want to do will make you unrecognizable over the coming months. 

Remember – you don’t feel apathetic towards something you truly care about. Apathy arises when you’re resistant to doing the work it takes to get there. While apathy is a normal part of rebooting, overcoming those feelings is also a critical part of the process.

You’re not alone in dealing with feelings of apathy. Every man in the Porn Reboot program deals with them at one time or another. You may overcome them now and then have to deal with them again in the future. So long as you’re willing to do the work it takes to move through the apathy, though, you’re still on the right track.

 

10 Attributes You Need to Quit Pornography and Stay Quit

I most often talk about rebooting in terms of rewiring your brain.

You have to rewire your brain if you want to be successful in your reboot. But pornography addiction affects far more than your brain chemistry and thought processes alone. Rebooting includes hitting the reset button on all the aspects of your life that your out-of-control sexual behavior affected.

Today I want to cover the ten attributes you need to be successful in your reboot. I’ve covered these things before but this list is a bit different than usual. I put it together because I often have a lot of men ask me how to determine whether they’re making progress in their reboot. They aren’t sure when they cross from early stages into later stages. They’re looking for changes to mark their progress by. So today I want to give that to you.

1. Values and Standards

Determining your values and standards is the first requirement for a successful reboot. You might think you have them already, but are they set in stone? Do you have them written down? Do you know what you’re willing to sacrifice for them? What are you willing to give up to adhere to your values and standards?

Think about it. When you experienced strong urges in the past, your values and standards would shift to accommodate whatever urges arose. They changed according to the circumstances that came up. The only values and standards you had up to this point were those that fulfilled your need for instant gratification. You need to have a solid understanding of your values and standards before you can ever be successful in your reboot.

2. Strong Boundaries

People often think about setting boundaries in terms of other people. They think it’s placing limits on who you spend time with or how you allow people to treat you. While this is an accurate understanding of boundaries, they also encompass more than that. You must set boundaries not only with the people you hang out with but with the places you go or activities you participate in. 

Let’s say you’re an individual who often relapses when you smoke weed or drink alcohol. There’s a very real possibility you may have to give up marijuana or alcohol if you want your reboot to be successful. But if you refuse to give these things up and set strong boundaries, you remain stuck in the reboot and relapse cycle until you’re ready.

3. Awareness

The next thing you need to be successful in your reboot is awareness. Not only self-awareness but a general awareness of both your emotions and feelings as well as the science behind this behavior. You should have emotional and intellectual awareness regarding your behavior with pornography. You also need a basic understanding of psychology, of things like trauma, unresolved issues, abandonment, and neglect.

This awareness allows you to simultaneously understand that your feelings and emotions are not only a result of things happening at the surface, but they’re also the result of neurochemical reactions in your brain. Having a deeper understanding and awareness of what’s going on in your brain makes it easier to deal with things as they arise.

4. Accountability

Accountability is a crucial part of every successful reboot. You can’t reboot in a vacuum; you need input from other men who have been where you are. Lots of men point to a lack of accountability when dissecting what happened before they relapsed. Avoid this pitfall by finding accountability partners early and stay in contact with them.

At the same time, you also need to be accountable to yourself. You’re a grown man. You shouldn’t have to rely on another grown man to remind you that your behavior is out of control. It’s good to have accountability partners to lean on when times are tough but at the end of the day, your ultimate goal is to be accountable to yourself.

5. Self-Discipline

I view self-discipline as having the ability to restrain and repress your instincts in favor of doing things that are beneficial to you in the long run. When you start your reboot, you’re going to have an extreme lack of self-discipline. You’ve operated on the principle of instant gratification for years. 

Your pornography use and compulsive sexual behavior damaged your prefrontal cortex. Over time you’re going to have to develop self-discipline. You don’t have to stress out about it, though. It will happen naturally as you follow the system and your brain rewires.

6. Patience

Patience doesn’t come easily to men who constantly succumb to instant gratification. If you want to be successful, though, you need to develop patience. You’re not going to feel a massive sudden shift. There are no quick fixes in learning how to stop porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. It takes time to reboot.

Sure, you can change some of your habits and lay a solid foundation in 90 days. But you won’t rewire your brain or change your entire lifestyle in that short period. It takes more than a year to create lasting change. You must be patient if you want to be successful in your reboot.

7. Open-Mindedness

Every man comes into the Porn Reboot program with preconceived notions. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your background is; everyone has a set of assumptions and ideas they need to break down. You have to be willing to let go of some of your false beliefs about what recovery should be.

There is no one path to recovery. As you go through your reboot, you’ll be exposed to things other than the Porn Reboot system. There are plenty of useful resources outside of our system that may help you along the way. Remain open-minded to alternatives while still understanding the need to stick to a system that works for you.

8. Truth

Porn addicts are liars. I don’t care who you are or how honest you believe yourself to be. Every porn addict is a liar. The act of hiding your behavior itself is a lie. Pornography addiction and compulsive behavior come with a lot of shame and guilt. So overcoming these behaviors means you must learn to be honest.

Even after you’ve gained control over your sexual behavior, you probably still have a tendency to lie. You must learn to tell the truth if you want to be successful in your reboot, not only to others but most importantly to yourself.

9. Love

There is nothing loving about pornography. Even the love involved in some of the fake storylines is empty. Pornography lacks intimacy and connection. Over time, consuming lots of porn, especially aggressive or violent porn, kills the love you have for your fellow human beings. How can you watch people being hurt then go tuck your kid into bed or tell your partner you love them?

Building up your capacity to love again is vital for a successful reboot. It won’t happen all at once. It needs to be worked on. It’s easier to work on when you come out of isolation, start speaking to others again, and connect with a community of people where love is already present, such as the Porn Reboot Facebook group.

10. Stoicism

All kinds of things will happen during your reboot. Life doesn’t take a pause because you decided to end your behavior with pornography. There will be ups and downs along the journey to controlling your behavior and rewiring your brain. You will have rough days, you’ll feel insulted, you’re going to reach breaking points at times. You must learn to get through these things without turning back to pornography.

Learning to be stoic is an incredible gift. It means you observe what’s happening in life without attaching to the events or assigning emotional meaning to them. You develop a calm within you as you face the world around you. I’m not suggesting that you have to become a perfect being of enlightenment but honing this quality will make you more successful in your reboot.

Determining Your Reboot Progress

How many of these attributes can you say you have? Maybe you’re successful with a few of them and are working your way toward the others. Write this list down and store it somewhere you can see it. It provides a good gauge for how you’re doing in your reboot and which areas you need to continue working on.

Rebooting is an ongoing process. There is no “end point”. A successful rebooter never ends his quest to better himself and the world around him. So where are you at in your reboot?

5 Tips For Dating During Your Reboot

At some point during the reboot process, single brothers in the Porn Reboot program are going to begin dating.

Some methods for overcoming porn addiction have you holding your seed and abstaining from intimacy for long periods. I disagree with that, though. I believe that having an outlet for your romantic and intimate needs is a very normal, healthy progression. 

It’s not good for you to hold yourself back from intimacy or connection with the women around you. That’s a one-way ticket to sexual repression which is another serious problem. Learning to date in a healthy way during your reboot is a vital part of the process. You need to begin working on building relationships with women in a positive way.

Now if you’re a single man who’s been focused strictly on his reboot for months, getting into the dating game probably makes you feel a bit nervous. Dating in today’s world does come with its challenges and you might find yourself in a tough situation. If you’re early in your reboot, you might have no idea how to have a normal conversation with the opposite sex.

Don’t worry, no matter how extreme your out-of-control behavior is, you’re never too far gone. You can rebuild an amazing and active sex and dating life regardless of how far your behavior progressed. It will take some work but that’s what the Porn Addiction Counseling – Reboot system is here to do. So, how can you get back to dating during your reboot?

1. Figure out whether you’re ready to date

In my experience, I recommend that a man has his behavior under control for at least 6 to 12 months before beginning to date. During that time you should be actively working on bettering yourself, not just using willpower to keep your behavior at bay

You should have different areas of your reboot capital built up, should be aware of your triggers, and should have strong boundaries in place. These are things that take a few months to set up, not a few weeks. If these things aren’t in place, you aren’t ready to date.

2. Put together a dating plan

Once you decide that you’re ready to date, you should approach dating like you do other major life changes during your reboot: with a plan. Of course, different men’s plans will vary according to their lifestyle and what they want. But having a plan in place for your particular situation, lifestyle, and wants will help you out.

Where will you find your potential dates? How often should you see them before having sex? What will you do to reflect on your dates and determine whether this person is someone you actually want to continue seeing? And who will be your accountability partner or partners during the dating process?

3. Date without expectations

Building up expectations for your dates puts you on the fast track to disappointment and letdown. That’s not to say every date you go on will be miserable, but it’s also a reminder that not every date will be something you’re interested in. Keeping a hold of your emotional balance is critical and dating without expectations is an important way to do that.

Take time to get to know the women you’re dating. Having sex with women you aren’t in a committed relationship with will always put your reboot at risk. Slow things down and take the weeks or months needed to determine whether this woman is someone you’re actually interested in.

4. The dating process is not about sex, nor strictly about finding a partner

I know this might sound counterintuitive but trust me on this one. Early in your reboot, the main point of dating is to go out and literally practice meeting people. If you’ve struggled with porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior for years, you’re going to need that practice.

Go out and have a good time with some different women. Observe how you react emotionally during the process. Be honest with yourself when reflecting on the experience after you get home. You might even find out that you’re not quite ready for dating yet. You’re simply on a fact-finding mission at this point.

5. Have some standards

In the past, you probably would have slept with anyone who gave you the time of day. You weren’t very concerned about the types of women you were with, you only cared about whether you could score at the end of the night. Now that you’re rebooting, though, it’s a different story.

Today you need to have standards, brother. Once you drop your focus on sex, you begin to notice how uninteresting many of the women you saw before were. You’re much less interested in interacting with toxic women. You can begin to determine how you’d like to be treated and find a woman who meets those needs. 

Get Some Support Along the Way

One of the most important things to keep in mind is you shouldn’t head into dating alone. Trying to manage your dating life during your reboot without any support is a disaster waiting to happen. Get yourself in the middle of a group of men, like we have in the Porn Reboot Facebook group, who know exactly what you’re going through. 

The more you surround yourself with support, the better your experience will be. You’ll have men who you can talk to when you’re having a difficult time with dating or you feel like you’re at risk of slipping. Dating during your reboot doesn’t have to be an impossible feat, brother. It’s a natural part of life and you can do it with the right support and approach!

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