Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever


The Truth About Money, Power, and Sex

The Truth About Money, Power, and Sex

A common misconception I see men believing in is the idea that good education, good looks, and solid spirituality implies a healthy relationship with money, power, or sexual behavior.

I’m here to tell you, brother, that oftentimes this is not the case. Society tends to operate under the assumption that success comes to those with a combination of good looks, intelligence, and good morals.

Simply put, many of us define success as access to money, power, and sex. Whether you’re upfront about it or not, this combination tends to be the driving force for the majority of men in the Porn Reboot program as well as most of society at large.

Oftentimes people hide these three main desires behind the term “freedom.” They want the freedom to live by their terms, to spend as much time with their family as they want to, to be free from worries about things like finances and health, and so on. 

In their pursuit of freedom, men go to school, build up their skills, take care of their bodies, learn to carry themselves well, associate with the right people, establish a place in their church, and more. Working toward all of these things is a positive thing to do. They’re chasing after success and working to become the best possible versions of themselves.

Ultimately, though, what these men hope for after achieving their definition of success is the freedom to purchase any material item they want, to influence or control situations to their advantage, or to fulfill their deepest sexual fantasies with whomever they please. This again boils down to the desire for money, power, and sex.

If you’re honest with yourself this description probably applies to you, too. There’s nothing wrong with the pursuit of these things, though, brother. They’re natural desires and something that everyone in the world works for. But it doesn’t matter how much you achieve if you cannot build a good relationship with these things once you have them.

Again, the idea that men who have these things have a good relationship with them is a misconception. There are plenty of men who have millions of dollars but squander their wealth, men who have more power than you can imagine but use it to cause harm, and men who have their choice of whatever woman they could want but go about their conquests in an abusive way.

Good relationships with money, power, and sex are skills that must be developed. They aren’t necessarily an inherent part of us. Unfortunately, society doesn’t often teach us how to build good relationships with these things. Too often we take our pursuit of them to the extreme. 

Our parents, mentors, and teachers told us we need to be smart, knowledgeable, moral, and spiritual. We must follow all of society’s rules. They said that if we adhered to all of these then good things would happen to us. We would find the right woman, have access to sex, experience marital bliss, and have financial prosperity.

But they didn’t teach us the most important part: understanding how money works and what a good relationship with it looks like; understanding power and how it should be wielded; and understanding the truth about our natural sexuality. These are things that weren’t spoken about and it fell on us to develop an understanding for ourselves. 

How often have you seen celebrities, politicians, athletes, high standing religious individuals, famous pastors, or people with great intelligence, incredible beauty, or good character lose everything to money, power, or sex? They pursued these things to an extreme and ended up failing because of it.

You may have secretly or even openly judged them but are you honestly any different? 

I know I’m not.

As you know, I fell prey to my sexual behavior for many years. Fortunately, during my mid-twenties I developed a system to help me control it. That system was the early beginnings of the porn addiction recovery system that’s still in use today. It changed my entire life and helped me eliminate the control that porn addiction effect had over my life.

Despite this newfound control over my sexual behavior, I still struggled in other areas. I made a decent amount of money in my sales position but squandered it due to my lack of financial understanding. I was a poor leader at the company I worked for, burning many bridges by letting my imagined power get to my head.

While I had learned to control my problem with porn and masturbation, I didn’t have a good relationship with money or power. I had to develop an understanding of what positive demonstrations of these things looked like before I could build a healthy relationship with them like I had with sex.

So now I ask you, brother, how is your relationship with sex going? If it were perfect you wouldn’t be here reading this blog. You’re likely struggling to control your behavior and now realizing that its impact on your life is getting worse.

Or maybe you’re like me at the beginning where you have gained control over your sexual behavior but now you’re struggling with your spending habits or lashing out at your subordinates in the office. You have one part of the equation solved but there are still two more sides to the triangle that you need to even out.

But here’s the thing: eliminating your behavior with porn and masturbation removes a significant roadblock. Men who struggle with porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior cannot develop healthy relationships with money or power, either. Once you control the sexual part of the equation you free yourself up to control the other two aspects.

The skills of managing money, power, and sex are not innate for some men, brother, but the ability to learn them is out there. It’s up to you to take responsibility for learning how to build healthy relationships with these things for yourself.

The Truth About Money, Power, and Sex Read More »

The Power of Perception in Porn Reboot

The Power of Perception in Porn Reboot

Today I want to summarize an interview I recently had with Milan, our Neural Reprogramming Coach here at Porn Reboot. He is an expert at understanding how the brain works, how psychology plays into your reboot, and how to best work with your brain so you can overcome your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

We talked about the power of perception, specifically perceptual positions. I wasn’t very familiar with this topic before our discussion and I walked away with a ton of new information and insight. Our conversation was so eye-opening that I wanted to bring it here to the blog for you. 

Research shows that you receive an average of 11 million pieces of information at a time from all 5 of your senses. However, your active mind is only capable of perceiving around 124 of these different aspects of your environment at once. It then uses your values, beliefs, and other filters to create a manageable understanding of what’s happening around you.

This singular and biased understanding of the world leads you to act and behave in certain ways. Since you’re only interpreting a minuscule amount of all that’s taking place, though, it’s clear you need to make a serious effort to broaden your perspective.

This is where perceptual positions come into play.

Considering different perceptual positions is important because we don’t perceive reality as it is. Sure, we recognize and decipher incoming information but we can only view it through the first-person perspective. Until you realize and understand there are perspectives outside of your own, you’ll continue operating in a very one-dimensional view of the world.

Perceptual positions free us from this single dimension. They open up different ways of looking at things. This helps you develop a deeper sense of empathy for other people in your life as well as in the world at large. What exactly are perceptual positions and how can they help you in your reboot?

Understanding Perceptual Positions

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.” That understanding of the world is exactly what perceptual positions refer to. They’re about understanding someone else’s experience as well as your own experience from a different angle. It’s about your ability to change camera angles or tune in to a different radio station if you will. 

There are three main perspectives you can view the world from. 

The first is through your own eyes at how things are happening right now at this moment, fully experiencing life as you see it. 

The second is through the position of “other”, or observing things from someone or something else’s perspective, looking for additional information about the situation or event you may not see from where you’re standing.

The third is through a combination of these two perspectives, taking a sort of “bird’s eye view” of what’s going on and considering a combination of both the first and second person perception.

Each perspective is useful for different reasons during different circumstances and situations. For example, spending most of your time in the first person is necessary for you to live life effectively. But when you find yourself running up against obstacles or feeling stuck, shifting to the second or third forms of perspective will offer deeper insight into what’s going on.

Drawbacks of a Singular Perspective

Living in a single perceptual position puts you at a serious disadvantage. You hold yourself back from so much in the world when you refuse to open yourself to alternative perspectives. Whether it’s the first, second, or third perspective, living in only one of them keeps you from fully engaging with life.

When you operate from the first perspective, you’re only thinking about yourself. People who live only in the first person come across as selfish, have a limited understanding of how others feel, and often lack awareness about the consequences of their actions.

When you operate from the second perspective, you’re thinking too much about other people. Those who live here give away their autonomy. They place too much emphasis on the opinions of others and allow everyone else to dictate and control their lives. 

When you operate from the third perspective, you’re too far removed from the world. Some may think that a blended view of the world should be what you strive for at all times, but it keeps you separated from your personal experience of life. 

How Perceptual Positions Help Your Reboot

Perceptual positions are useful for everyone. Broadening your worldview is never a bad idea. But perceptual positions are especially useful for men who struggle with porn, sex, and masturbation. How are they useful for you in your reboot?

Spending years of your life trapped in a compulsive cycle of porn addiction tends to be a very isolating experience. Most men arrive at the Porn Reboot program defeated and hiding from the people in their lives. They’ve driven themselves fully into one of the three main perspectives and used it to survive up to this point.

But a successful porn addiction recovery program requires you to reframe every aspect of your life, including the perspectives through which you view the world. If you’re stuck in your perception, you likely can’t see the damage you’re doing to others. If you’re stuck in the second perception, you probably don’t realize how much you’ve hurt yourself. If you’re stuck in the third perception, you have all but detached from your circumstances and are just trying to get by.

You must consider each perspective if you want to fully recover from your compulsive behavior. Looking at the situation from each of the three main perspectives provides more clarity than any one of them can offer. Once you have a full picture and understanding of the reality of your behavior you can begin the process of overcoming it.

Exercise to Practice Perceptual Positions

Milan offered a useful exercise for you to practice opening yourself to different perceptual positions. First, start by developing an awareness of the main ways you interact with those around you. Recognize where you operate from primarily. Do you spend most of the time thinking about yourself, about how they view you, or detached from the interaction in some sort of third-person experience? 

Now, regardless of which is your primary perspective, notice things from the first person. Sit with yourself and notice what you’re seeing, feeling, hearing, and thinking. What is going on around you? How are you interpreting the experiences in your immediate surroundings? 

Gather as much information as you can while sitting in the first person.

Then, shift into the second person. Embody someone or something around you and look at your surroundings from this new perspective. Consider how things look from an outside perspective. How are the things you see, feel, and hear different when you’re experiencing them in the second person?

Finally, detach from both the first and second person and instead combine them. Look at all sides of the situation and try to observe them objectively. Ask questions about the circumstances. Notice patterns that exist in each perspective, the beliefs that drive the way you and others interact with the world around you.

This third perspective is where you receive the most knowledge about the truth of a situation. It isn’t biased toward either yourself or others; it looks at situations objectively and draws the most logical conclusions as free from bias as possible.

Incorporating this practice into your daily life will widen your perspective and the lens through which you view the world. It will make you more useful, deepen your sense of empathy, and broaden your understanding of how you interact with people and how they interact with you. Perceptual positions are a powerful way to connect with the world around you!


The Power of Perception in Porn Reboot Read More »

The Power of Forgiveness in Recovery

The Power of Forgiveness in Recovery

What comes to mind when you hear the word “forgiveness”?

Perhaps you recall the religion of your childhood. Maybe you think of a resentment you’re trying to let go of. You might even think of someone you’re hoping will forgive you for something you’ve done.

I believe that forgiveness is a forgotten skill. It empowers you to overcome some of the things that hold you back most in your porn addiction recovery. Holding onto anger keeps you a prisoner of your emotions. But learning to forgive provides the freedom you’ve looked for in many different avenues up to this point.

Are you harboring any grudges over things said or done to you in the past? It’s difficult to reach the later stages of your reboot if you don’t let go of those past harms. However, I understand that it’s challenging to release these things which is why I believe that forgiveness is a skill.

Take a moment to recall some of the worst times of your life. Think of some of the worst things you said and did during your porn addiction. If you’re anything like me, I said and did many things that caused a lot of harm to other people. My words and actions resulted in much emotional, physical, psychological, and financial damage.

I also found that I was holding onto a lot of grudges. I was so angry at others for the way they treated me despite the awful things I did. I was angry at women who rejected me and friends who said things behind my back. It didn’t matter that I’d hurt them, too; I was still furious.

It’s safe to say I had a lot of baggage when I finally decided to end my out-of-control behavior. I had to release some of the weight I was carrying if I wanted to reboot because I was at a point where it was too painful to carry on. While forgiveness was the last thing on my mind, it wasn’t until later that I realized letting go of these things meant I was beginning that process.

Forgiveness begins with you, brother. It starts with forgiving yourself for the harmful behavior you’ve engaged in for so many years. Learning to do this frees you from the heavy load of guilt and shame you’ve carried for so long. As you truly embrace forgiveness for yourself, you’ll find a lightness in the world that you never imagined possible.

Once you forgive yourself, it’s time to start extending that forgiveness to others. Think about all the people you’re carrying grudges against or felt resentment toward. Call each grudge and resentment to mind one at a time. Consider whether it’s worth it to continue carrying it or if it’s time to forgive, let go, and move forward.

Oftentimes people believe that forgiveness is for the other person’s sake. I’m here to tell you, brother, that forgiveness is for you. It’s a process that frees you from the mental strain of carrying all this frustration, rage, and resentment. These things take much more energy to sustain than you may think.

At the same time, this doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for the harm you’ve caused. You must still acknowledge your wrongdoings and make restitution to those you hurt. A simple “sorry” is often not enough; it’s time to make genuine amends.

But this won’t come until you learn to forgive others, which starts with forgiving yourself. It takes time to develop this skill but it’s necessary if you want to be successful in your Porn Addiction Counseling or Porn Reboot Program. You will never overcome your out-of-control behavior if you don’t learn the art of forgiveness. But as you continue working on yourself, your ability to forgive will develop and grow.

The Power of Forgiveness in Recovery Read More »

Scroll to Top