The Porn Reboot system isn’t something that promises you’ll end your out-of-control behavior in only a few weeks. We aren’t a quick-fix program shilling miracles for mere minutes out of your day. The system takes time to implement and follow through on, but that means you receive lasting results.
However, that also means that it can occasionally be a time-consuming process. It’s important to know how much time you should spend on your reboot, especially for men who lead busy lives. You may run a business or have a high-level position in your career. Perhaps you have kids and a spouse whom you want to spend quality time with. Maybe you have other interests such as continued education, hobbies, or other recreational pursuits. Yet you’re also struggling with an out-of-control behavior and ending it is one of your main priorities as well.
It’s something that almost every brother struggles with at some point during their early reboot stage. One of these brothers brought it up with a great question in the group. He asked:
“Hey J.K., I want to know how much you recommend the brothers make use of the group. I come on for less than an hour a week. I watch your Q&A on Tuesday. I ask my question Friday and I check in fortnightly on Sundays with some wins and progress, and then I’m straight off.
“Do you think that this is too little? I’d still like to be more active and read more posts, but I just can’t stand being on Facebook. It’s kind of triggering being on here due to years of using it to act out. Thoughts?”
As always, great question. I have a few thoughts I want to share on the matter.
Recognize the benefits of Facebook
I know that Facebook isn’t the platform of choice for some people but it’s proven itself to be the most effective way to run our group. It connects me with men from all walks of life, all across the world, and it connects these men, too. The reality is social media is here to stay, as well as whatever iteration follows after it.
Some men believe they can completely divorce themselves from technology. They think they can operate in the world without it. Unfortunately, brother, you may be able to for some time but the world is moving increasingly online. There are bills to pay, people to communicate with, events to hear about, and more, all of which are found online.
I believe it’s better to develop a healthy relationship with technology than it is to divorce yourself from it entirely. At Porn Addiction Recovery Reboot, we’re determined to continuously innovate as technology evolves. Participating in the Porn Reboot Facebook group is a great way to practice that healthy engagement alongside a group of men who are aware of both its positive and negative effects.
I know there are plenty of triggering things splattered across social media, but avoiding these platforms forever isn’t a lasting solution. Instead, you’ll learn to manage your nervous system and create a lifestyle where you actively choose to minimize access to triggering material while still engaging with Facebook.
The amount of time you spend using the group isn’t necessarily the most important indicator of progress. It’s not so much about how much time you spend using the group; it’s more about the quality of that time and whether it’s relevant to you. What are you actually doing when you hop into the Porn Reboot Facebook group?
The brother who asked this question sounds like he’s covering plenty of ground and using his time wisely. But it’s not always easy to determine where to place your focus, especially on the Porn Reboot system. We have a wide range of options for men struggling to control their behavior including:
- Weekly live Q&As with me
- Self-belief coaching with Coach Milan
- Trauma-informed sessions with Dr. Jessica Eastman
- Neural reprogramming with Coach Milan
- Group sessions with Dr. Howard Rankin
You want to make sure you’re not just adding a few comments to the discussion and logging out for the day; you should make use of all the tools that apply to you. For example, Dr. Eastman’s sessions will be crucial if you experienced trauma in your past. If you’re struggling with limiting beliefs about your self-worth, Coach Milan’s sessions are invaluable.
We spent years isolated from others as we fell deeper into our pornography addiction. Connection is an integral part of the Porn Reboot system because it helps us learn to engage with others again. It keeps us from slipping back into our solitary lonely existence. Group sessions with Dr. Jessica, Dr. Howard, and Coach Milan are a great way to connect with other brothers who understand what you’re going through.
At the same time, you also don’t want the Porn Reboot program to become another thing that keeps you compulsively online. Create and implement a solid morning routine. Set up weekly check-in calls with your accountability partner or other brothers in the program. Don’t neglect the importance of our online sessions, but don’t neglect the importance of the real-life application of the system, either.
Take advantage of compounding benefits
It’s important to recognize the amount of time your reboot requires for success, not only from a scheduling standpoint and a time management standpoint but particularly because I want you to avoid making a big mistake that many men make: not taking advantage of the power of compounding benefits.
What is compounding, you ask? It refers to the ever-increasing benefits that come from developing and using strategies and coping skills to improve your life, as well as the positive impact of staying off pornography and controlling your behavior. These beneficial effects only compound when you’re consistent, though, and you can only be consistent when you operate on a schedule that works for you.
Lots of guys find themselves thrown off their routine by a trip, vacation, fight with their partner, health emergency, an especially busy week, losing a client, losing some money, or any other unexpected circumstance. There’s nothing wrong with going off-course for a bit because these disruptions to life are to be expected. But problems arise when you’re thrown off for weeks and can’t refocus and find your way back to your routine.
It’s easy to get derailed and stay there when you don’t have a set schedule to adhere to every week. When you join the Porn Reboot program, our strategists help you determine which areas to focus on and how much time you should dedicate to each. Taking advantage of this gives you a much better chance of staying on track so you can take advantage of compounding benefits.
The amount of time you should spend on your reboot varies from person to person. It also shifts as you progress further in your reboot. It takes more time to build a solid foundation in the beginning and then the daily time commitment gets shorter as your brain rewires. The most important thing to keep in mind when determining your time commitment to your reboot, though, is making sure you use that time as wisely as possible. One focused hour per day will yield far greater results than three mindless hours. Keep this in mind, brother, and you’re well on your way.