Discover 7 Secrets To Eliminate Porn Addiction Forever


How to Handle Reboot Emotions as a High Performer

How to Handle Reboot Emotions as a High Performer

“Hey J.K. I feel much more emotionally aware and in-tune after drawing some of the exercises in the program and meditating for years.

“How can I balance being more in tune with my feelings and cultivating awareness while going hard at work and working out?

“I feel like what I’ve been doing is letting go of negative emotions like sadness and fear, but sometimes it feels like I’m not able to work as hard because I’m too in touch with my feelings. Now I’m trying to develop positive feelings around working and working out with positive visualizations.

“What are the proper ways to be a beast while still being in touch with and aware of my feelings?”

A lot of guys in our programs are relatively successful men but are unaware of their emotions. They’ve tuned out so many of their emotions over their years of  looking on how to stop porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. They have almost no remorse. They become more narcissistic. They’re increasingly unable to empathize with their partners.

These men cannot connect with these feelings because they have become so out of touch with their emotions. Helping men develop an awareness of their emotions and learn to reconnect with them is a vital part of the Porn Reboot process. It tends to be rather challenging but is well worth the work in the end.

Do you relate to this at all?

This brother’s question is a good one. As some men become aware of their emotions, they have trouble being productive while remaining connected with this awareness. Feelings like fear, sadness, guilt, shame, and empathy are new and they’re not sure what to do with them. They can be so overwhelming after blocking them out for so long that they interfere with productivity.

How can you begin to handle your emotions while still maintaining your high-performance capabilities?

Don’t Suppress Emotions

When you feel these new feelings come up your instinct is to push them back down. It’s your go-to way of coping after stuffing your feelings for years. Too many men suppress their emotions, though, and it’s a very unhealthy thing to do. Learning to change this, though, requires ongoing, dedicated practice.

It may feel difficult to sit with these emotions while remaining productive during the day but you’ll learn to do it over time. You must learn to be comfortable enough with any sort of emotion while still meeting your daily responsibilities.

Allow Yourself to Take Breaks

High-performing men who struggle with feeling their emotions tend to fire on all cylinders at all times. They work long hours week after week, leaving little time for themselves or their families. Doing this is a guaranteed way to continue the cycle of your compulsive sexual behavior.

Everyone needs time to rest and rejuvenate. If all you do is work yourself into the ground every day, pressure builds up and you need to find some sort of release. Until you learn to control your behavior, you tend to find that relief by acting out in your out-of-control behavior. 

Allow yourself to take breaks instead. Taking a break doesn’t mean you’re lazy and it doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your responsibilities. You need time to refresh and reset, and intentionally setting aside this time leaves you less likely to act out in your compulsive behavior.

Your Emotions Don’t Dictate Your Day

As you start to feel these emotions, you may feel tempted to lean into some of them. For example, maybe you wake up one day and feel an incredible amount of anxiety about your workload that day. Don’t allow these feelings to dictate your day, though. You can feel these emotions while still accomplishing the things you need to do.

As you go through your day and handle your responsibilities, you’ll likely realize that these feelings of anxiety tend to dissipate. Oftentimes taking action counters any negative feelings that arise. It’s not always easy to move forward while holding space for those difficult emotions but the more you practice the easier it becomes.

Talk it Out

Reaching out to another brother in the porn addiction recovery program is one of the best ways to handle emotions as a high performer. Most men in the group are hardworking successful men who understand the difficulties that come with balancing emotions and responsibilities. If you’re having a hard time with this right now, I know you’ll find someone in the group who would be more than willing to talk with you about it.

Stop by the free Porn Reboot Facebook group to find someone to talk with. You’re never alone in any struggle you experience; there’s always another man who knows exactly what you’re going through. Come join us today, brother, and you’ll learn the skills needed to live a full, successful, happy, porn-free life.

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Normalize Being Porn-Free in 2023

Normalize Being Porn-Free in 2023

What does your “normal” relationship with porn look like?

For most men who arrive at the porn addiction recovery program, their normal relationship with porn looks like periods of “sobriety” followed by slips and relapses. These slips are accompanied by a loss of clarity and focus, as well as feelings of guilt, shame, and uncertainty. The repetitive process continues to drive self-esteem further into the ground.

However, many of the brothers who participate in the Porn Reboot program experience periods where they do not slip. They enjoy these times when there are no relapses back into watching porn or acting out sexually. These brothers notice something different about their quality of life, often feeling more at peace as they move smoothly through their days.

I want 2022 to be the year you shift what your normal relationship with porn looks like. I want you to move away from the cycle of sobriety and slips. I want your porn addiction problems to become a thing of the past. I want you to build a life that is so incredible you couldn’t ever imagine opening up another browser tab again.

Here are some ways you can normalize being porn-free in 2022.

Change Your Perspective

Men view moments when they aren’t engaging in problematic sexual behavior in one of two ways. The first way is looking at it with what I refer to as “big deal” energy. You make a massive deal out of the amount of time it’s been since you last viewed porn, masturbated, had sex, or whatever your preference is. It feels like an incredible feat that you haven’t acted out.

But here’s the thing: while it’s great you’ve stayed away from porn or learned how to stop porn addiction, your preferred behavior for a while, making a big deal out of it will only keep you from staying away from it. You make it harder to stick with your commitment when you make it too big of a deal.

Instead, I want you to shift from “big deal” energy into “of course” energy. You want to view your behavior-free time as the way things should be. Of course this is happening to you because it’s the way your life is supposed to be. This change in perspective comes naturally through the hard work and belief in yourself that develops during your reboot.

Sure, you’re going to experience surges of excitement when you realize your life is changing. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing this important change but you don’t need to hold onto this adrenaline rush. Experience it and then let it pass as you move forward with your progress.

Express Gratitude for the Little Things

Porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior strip you of your ability to appreciate the small things in life. You’re so consumed by out-of-control behavior that you have no time to “stop and smell the roses,” if you will. Your whole world shrinks down and life becomes painfully small.

As you learn to control your behavior, life opens up again. You’re given another chance to experience and appreciate all that life has to offer. There are so many aspects of life that you spent years ignoring; take the time to recognize them now. Expressing gratitude for the things that seem small is an important part of normalizing being porn-free.

Additionally, expressing gratitude adds immense value to these seemingly small things. The more you work on your reboot, the more you realize how many things you took for granted. From your job to your family, your health to your housing, there are countless things that you may have overlooked in the past that you can now express gratitude for.

Gratitude also serves as a counter to “big deal” energy. You can feel grateful for the times you sit through difficult urges, for the strength you’re developing, for your refusal to give in to the struggles of the withdrawal process. Expressing gratitude keeps you humble and encourages you to continue doing the work it takes to achieve these new experiences.

Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Men

No man survives on an island. The same applies to your reboot. Trying to overcome your out-of-control behavior alone may work for a short period but it’s not a long-term strategy. Implementing changes that lead to lasting control of your behavior requires support from men who are working to overcome their behavior, too.

You must surround yourself with a community of men who also view their reboot with “of course” energy. You want to be around men who experience urges and overcome them. You want to be around men who are working on their coping strategies. You want to be around men who fully believe they have better things to do than sit around and watch porn.

Today I surround myself with  a community of men who operate with the same energy as I do. They’re dedicated to controlling their sexual behavior. They are top performers in their careers or run successful businesses. Most of these men no longer partake in drinking or drugs. It’s a group of strong, like-minded men who reinforce the “of course” energy I live by.

Commit to a System

Significant life changes don’t happen by accident. They aren’t the result of random occurrences. They happen when you take consistent, dedicated, intentional action. This usually means employing a system in your life. Committing to a system is the best way to maintain all of these changes and normalize being porn-free in 2022. 

You’re not going to control your behavior on a whim. It’s not going to happen randomly. You need something that will offer guaranteed results when you follow the outlined path. That’s why finding a system that works is so critical to your success.

I’ve talked about the importance of implementing a system before. A system is a set of actions that produce predictable, reliable, and accurate results time after time. That’s exactly what the Porn Reboot program is. It’s a predetermined path you can follow that leads to lasting changes in your behavior with pornography and masturbation.

Following the Porn Reboot system is a guaranteed way to develop “of course” energy, learn to express gratitude, and surround yourself with like-minded men. All of these aspects are ways you will normalize being porn-free in 2022. Give yourself the opportunity to change your life. Join us in the Porn Reboot Facebook group and get started today!

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Are Porn Filters a Waste of Time?

Are Porn Filters a Waste of Time?

Lots of porn addiction recovery programs and coaches stress the importance of porn filters.

They can be a helpful way to keep you off of and away from sites that you know will send you right back to relapsing. You can use them to block the websites you usually use to watch porn and are useful for some people.

On the other hand, porn filters are also easy to get around. There are so many sites that contain pornographic content that you couldn’t possibly filter all of them out. And I also see far too many men put the responsibility for their recovery on these filters. If the filter fails they blame it for their relapse instead of looking at their behavior.

Are porn filters reliable or are they a waste of time? Is placing that power into the hands of a computer program the right way to approach your reboot?

If you’re serious about ending your behavior with pornography, porn filters only act as a band-aid over the real problem. Most men in the Porn Reboot program are past the point where it’s about pornography; it’s about the rush of feel-good chemicals released by the entire process of their compulsive behavior.

Slapping a porn filter on your web browser isn’t a long-term solution. It may keep you away from porn for a few days or a few weeks but it’s not going to keep you away for months or years. Staying off of porn requires a shift in your entire mindset and lifestyle, not just a computer program that blocks you from “bad sites.”

If you truly want to control your out-of-control behavior, you’ll do the work it takes to overcome your problem. Things like NoFap and semen retention are the same type of approach. Sure, they solve the porn problem for a short period but they don’t address what your problem actually is. They won’t lead to any lasting change.

There’s nothing wrong with using a filter in the beginning stages of your reboot when you’re still learning to control your behavior. They can be a great tool to keep you away from those tempting sites. But they can’t be the first and last line of defense against your pornography addiction. If you have a serious porn problem then they will not make any long-term difference.

However, if you use them as part of a comprehensive approach to ending your behavior with porn and masturbation, then you’re using them for the right reasons. Porn filters aren’t a waste of time when you know they aren’t the true solution to your problem. If you’re going to install a porn filter and think that’s the end of things, then they’re not worth it for you.

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“OMG It’s So F*cking Hard to Quit Porn!”

OMG It’s So F*cking Hard to Quit Porn!

I hear it all the time.

“Oh my God, J.K., it’s so hard to quit. The urges are overwhelming and won’t go away. The withdrawals are unbearable and it’s been like this for days.”

Here’s what I have to say to that, brother.

So what?

Yeah, it’s hard. I’m not going to make light of it. It’s not easy to quit porn. You’ve spent your entire life giving in to the urges every time they come up because you can’t handle sitting with the pain and discomfort it takes to overcome them.

It’s not just that way for you, brother. It’s difficult for everyone who struggles with porn addiction problems. The truth is, no one can make it any less hard. You can complain all you’d like but you’re only going to make it more difficult for yourself.

You can’t go through life without pain. It’s impossible. Difficult experiences are an inevitable part of the human condition. You can’t avoid them no matter what you do.

When you’re in the beginning stages of your reboot, the truth of this is impossible to hide from. You’re finally starting to realize that you’ve spent your entire life medicating with porn and masturbation. You don’t know how to handle challenges when they arise. You can’t sit with these feelings because you’ve never had the strength to do so before.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn.

That’s what the Porn Reboot system is here to do. It’s here to equip you with the tools you need to work through the discomfort. You become part of a group that understands exactly what you’re going through. We’re here to prop you up when you need it and support you during the tough times. But none of the support we offer can match the inner strength you’ll build using the system.

If you only focus on the difficulty you’re making things much harder than they need to be. Instead, focus on developing the skills that will help you overcome your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. You’re going to build up the different areas of your life you’ve spent months and years neglecting.

Sure, it’s not an easy process. You may even slip up from time to time in the beginning. But instead of slipping and giving up, you’re surrounded by people who will encourage you to get right back on the path. You’ll feel encouraged by the brotherhood instead of beaten down by your behavior for the first time in your life.

When you throw yourself fully into rebooting, you stop thinking so much about how hard it is to quit porn. You have a new goal to focus on now. You’ll continue applying the right strategies, making changes to your environment, and learning how to manage your emotions. You begin to notice areas that are lacking and work on them without any external influence. And this will happen before you even realize it.

Again, I know it isn’t easy, brother. I never promised you it would be easy. Rebooting is a long, difficult process. The thing I can promise you, though, is that it’s worth it. Every difficult day, each challenge that comes up, all the things you get through, they’re going to be worth it in the end. When you look back and realize you overcame your porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, the arduous journey will be worth every step it took.

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“Help! I’m Attracted To Other Women While Married!”

One of our brothers brought a great question to the group recently.

“Part of my desire to look at porn has to do with the fact that I still want to have sex with other women even though I’m in a relationship. I act out to give me that experience without ‘cheating.’ How do I reframe this mindset to have the right perspective about having a healthy porn-free sex life?”

First of all, wanting to have sex with multiple women is natural. Whether that’s a “good” or “bad” thing depends on you, your values, and what you were raised to do. Plenty of men enjoy a fun, hookup-filled youth. They slept with many different women and made the most of it during the times they could. 

Having these sexual experiences is crucial early on, before choosing to settle down with a partner. I think that we can all agree that being in a committed relationship does mean that having multiple partners is out of the question. 

Some men choose to get married early and never have a hookup phase. They found a woman they love and care about but sacrificed the opportunity to have a range of sexual experiences. After a decade or two, though, I find that some of these men regret never giving themselves that chance.

This brother admits that part of the reason he views porn addiction problems is to keep him loyal to his partner. He suppresses the biological urge to sleep with a variety of women by watching things play out on a screen. While I think that’s an important realization to come to, it doesn’t work for men who deal with compulsive sexual behavior.

Committed relationships make our lives easier as civilized human beings. It relieves us of the time-consuming biological aspect of jealousy. This frees you up to focus on other important aspects of your life such as caring for your family and performing well at work. It also increases the vital sense of intimacy between you and your partner.

Pornography robs you of your ability to be intimate with your partner. Sure, you may have sex. You might even have a lot of sex. But sex doesn’t necessarily equate to intimacy. Watching hours and hours of porn caters to your most primal desires and strips away all intimacy, one of the most important aspects of human relationships.

Although it’s natural to want to sleep with many different women, you’ve decided to commit to the woman you’re in a relationship with. Millions of men over the years have found a way to be in committed relationships and remain monogamous which means you can do the same.

Feeling attraction for other women isn’t a reason to act out on your compulsive behavior. It’s not ran excuse to continue watching porn. You can’t justify the detrimental effects that your behavior has by saying it keeps you from stepping out on the relationship. There are plenty of more fulfilling ways to live your life that don’t involve cheating on your partner.

If this is something you’re actively struggling with, I invite you to join us in the FREE Porn Reboot Facebook group. There are tons of men in there who understand exactly what you’re going through and can likely share a story or two about their own experience. You’re anything but alone in this experience, brother. All you have to do is reach out for help.

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Understanding Beliefs: Empowerment and Growth

Understanding Beliefs: Empowerment and Growth

I’ve spoken and written extensively about the importance of recognizing your limiting beliefs.

These are the things you tell yourself and that you fully believe, things like, “I am hopeless,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy of love,” or “I’m never going to be able to fully recover from my porn addiction.”

A belief is a small idea that either enables you to do something or holds you back from doing something. They are the inner model you use to interact with the world around you. Your beliefs are the framework within which you operate.

Your beliefs determine where you go, the direction you move, and the pace at which you progress. They affect who you are, who you become, and how you bridge the gap between these spaces. If you want to progress in the world you need to continuously recognize, assess, and adjust these beliefs you carry.

What Limiting Beliefs Look Like

Three of the most common limiting beliefs I see in the men I work with are hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. These three beliefs are key reasons why men hold themselves back when they are trying to reboot. 

Hopelessness is the belief that you cannot achieve whatever goal it is you have in mind. You don’t believe in yourself enough to trust that what you want to do is possible for you. On the other hand, when you believe in your skills and resources and trust that you’re capable of achieving your goals, you feel hopeful.

Helplessness is the idea that while you know something may be possible for someone else, you don’t believe it’s possible for you. You don’t trust that you have the skills or knowledge to accomplish what it is you want to do. But when you trust yourself and your abilities, you feel empowered.

Worthlessness is based on the idea that you aren’t good enough for or don’t deserve the things you want in life. If you believe you are worthless then you will not take the action necessary to make drastic changes. However, when you recognize your inherent worth as a person, you’ll find yourself willing to do what it takes to change your life.

How Beliefs Work

Think of your belief system as a massive filter for your attention. The beliefs you hold are the filter for everything that happens in your life. Your brain needs an easy way to interpret all the things going on around you and your belief system makes it easier to process.  

Your mind always interprets any incoming information or feedback in a way that supports your existing beliefs. If you have limiting beliefs, your mind will pick up on things that further instill this negative view of yourself. But if you have empowering beliefs, your mind will find evidence that supports this more positive, useful frame of mind.

When you operate with limiting beliefs you’re going to overlook any evidence that suggests you’re a good person with positive traits. It’s easier to toss out feedback or information that doesn’t support your view of yourself as hopeless, helpless, worthless, or whatever other limiting beliefs you may have.

When you’re filled with empowering beliefs about yourself, you’re equipped with a much more effective filter. You not only accept the evidence that you’re a good person worthy of good things, but you’re also willing to recognize where you fall short and work on bettering yourself in those areas.

Limiting Beliefs in My Life

I have plenty of experience with limiting beliefs, especially before I learned to control my behavior with porn addiction problems and masturbation. For example, I would see someone doing well financially and it ran through my negative belief filtering system. I’d tell myself I couldn’t get where they were because I wasn’t as smart and couldn’t focus as well as they could.

This limiting belief held me back for years because I thought I didn’t have what it took to accomplish what these men had accomplished. I didn’t recognize my strengths because these negative beliefs kept me trapped. They left me incapable of taking the necessary steps to help myself and move forward.

It wasn’t until I began working with mentors who pointed out this negative filtration system I operated with. I remember one specific turning point when one of my mentors called me out and said:

“Hey, the reason you can’t accomplish what you want to do isn’t that you’re incapable, J.K., it’s because you have this inaccurate, harmful filter that everything passes through. When it comes to money, when it comes to willpower, when it comes to discipline, all these things pass through that filter that tells you you can’t do it. We need to get rid of it.”

It felt like someone finally handed me the keys to freedom that I spent years searching for. While I didn’t overcome all of my limiting beliefs at once, it set me on the right path that helped me work through them over time.

Why Beliefs Matter in Your Reboot

So why are beliefs important to men like you specifically? What makes it urgent and important to pay attention to your beliefs as you start the porn addiction recovery process?

Oftentimes men in the Porn Reboot system come in with limiting beliefs they’ve carried around for years. They never take time to question them, though. Instead, they push forward and drive themselves further into the ruts their negative belief system lands them in.

You’re going to have a hard time moving forward and making progress in your reboot if you never take time to recognize your limiting beliefs. You have heard the idea that beliefs can move mountains, right? The power of beliefs runs deep and you’ll be amazed at the things you can accomplish when you overcome your limiting beliefs.

When you come in with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness, ending your out-of-control behavior will feel impossible. After trying and failing to control your behavior for years, these beliefs will be deeply ingrained in your mind. Until you challenge this negative filtration system, you’ll remain stuck in your prison of limiting beliefs.

Thankfully, the Porn Reboot program offers a solution to your limiting beliefs. We help you understand the precise thoughts holding you back and take action to overcome them. The Porn Reboot Facebook group is filled with men who were once held back by their limiting beliefs. These men now live beautiful, fulfilling, enriching lives free from the control of their porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior.

Still not sure whether you’re capable of overcoming your problem with porn and masturbation? Reach out in the group today – I guarantee you’ll find yourself surrounded by understanding, support, and guidance to get you out of your way.

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How to Have High Energy During Your Reboot

How to Have High Energy During Your Reboot

Maintaining a high level of energy is an important thing for men who are high performers.

You need consistent energy levels to accomplish everything you need to do during the day. When you’re new to your reboot, though, you might notice that you feel exhausted at times. Or maybe you’ve been more tired than usual since you started working on overcoming your porn  addiction.

Over time, your compulsive sexual behavior robbed you of your ability to recover energy. So much of your mental capacity is consumed either by actively engaging with your behavior or by thinking about it. You eliminate any healthy tools you can use to recharge and instead rely only on the mediocre sleep you get each night.

Human beings aren’t designed to only expend energy and sleep. You’re supposed to have other things you use to recharge your system aside from sleep. But when you destroy your mind and body’s natural functions with compulsive sexual behavior, you often eliminate those techniques from your life.

Having high energy is a requirement for men who want to perform well. What are some ways you can start working on your energy levels during your reboot?

Increase Your Energy Capacity

Recharging your energy levels doesn’t happen only by sleeping 9 hours per night or taking a long vacation every few months. These are helpful ways to ensure you don’t crash in the long run but they’re far from being the only effective tools for increasing energy. 

Increasing your energy capacity is one way to have high energy during your reboot. Energy levels are a lot like a muscle – they’ll atrophy if you don’t work on or make use of them for a long time. If you want to have high energy levels, you need to build your energy capacity.

Think about the way the gym works. You don’t start out benching three plates on your first day; you start by using the barbell alone and then increasing the weight week after week. The same goes for increasing your energy levels during your reboot. You need to put in the same level of effort that’s required at the gym.

Energy Levels and Reboot Capital

You’ve likely read about reboot capital here on the blog or heard me talk about it in videos or on the podcast before. Building reboot capital in different areas of your life is crucial if you want to quit porn and be successful. This helps you increase your energy levels, too. 

The three main areas of reboot capital that help you raise your energy levels are mental, emotional, and spiritual capital. You need to work on each of these three areas if you want to increase your energy capacity during your reboot.

To increase your mental capital, you need to push yourself mentally every day. This could mean you study or work for an extra 30 minutes than you originally planned to. You might read another chapter of the book you’re reading instead of playing on your phone before bed. 

To increase your emotional capital, you need to put yourself in situations that usually make you uncomfortable. Perhaps you have a vulnerable conversation with your spouse that you might have been opposed to in the past. Maybe that means you report a slip or relapse to the Porn  Addiction Counseling – Reboot group instead of keeping it to yourself.

To increase your spiritual capital, you need to incorporate some new mindfulness practices into your life. You could start meditating for five minutes each day for a week and then increase the time with each successive week. You may want to return to the church you grew up in or find a new faith practice that works for you in the present day.

Building Your Energy Over Time

Each of these small mental changes encourages a shift and increase in your energy levels over time. The more you care for your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, the more you can tolerate throughout the days, weeks, months, and years. 

Before your reboot, it may have felt almost impossible to function after having a poor night of sleep. As you increase your energy capacity, though, you’ll find it easier to function under less than ideal conditions.

Ultimately, brothers, you must be willing to endure short-term discomfort in your mental, emotional, and spiritual life if you want to build the strength you need to succeed. Success doesn’t come without hard work. But every temporary moment of pain that you sit through makes you stronger in the long run and gives you the energy required to perform well.

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A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy

A Simple Trick to Overcome Reboot Apathy

Do you ever feel apathetic during your reboot?

Apathy is something a lot of men run into while working through their porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. It’s frustrating when it happens because we know the pain that brought us to reboot. We understand the serious impact that our porn addiction counseling had and still has, yet we often reach a point where we don’t give a damn about our reboot.

I want to reassure you that apathy is a very normal part of the process. If you’re at this point you’re not alone. In fact, if a man doesn’t experience feelings of apathy during the reboot process then something is wrong.

A recent question from one of our brothers summed this up perfectly:

“After doing the feelings exercise for a solid while, I’ve observed that a strong emotion I encounter which tends to lead to a slip or an unproductive day is apathy. It’s a very constant factor where I don’t feel like doing anything because it seems like nothing matters. 

“Does anyone have any advice on how I can work on dealing with this? How can I snap myself out of the pit of apathy that I tend to fall into now?”

I’ve found that apathy begins the moment you run into a challenge, especially when you realize it might take a while to overcome it.

What are some things you feel apathetic about? Are they things that you don’t actually care about? If you’re honest with yourself, they’re usually things you care a lot about but it’s going to take time and effort to accomplish or work through them.

In reality, apathy is often an avoidance mechanism. This is exactly why apathy is a common part of the reboot process. When you get to the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot program and realize how much work it takes to implement the system, apathy kicks in and you try to convince yourself that you don’t really care.

Overcoming apathy is an important part of the reboot process. You need to trust that these feelings are normal and that they will pass so you don’t give in and relapse as a result. 

The first step to overcoming apathy is learning to recognize your apathetic thoughts. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t have enough willpower to be successful with your reboot. It might be the belief that you’ll never control your urges. Perhaps you think you couldn’t possibly do this every day for the rest of your life.

Next, you need to understand that any time you tell yourself you can’t do something you’re really saying that you won’t do it. It’s not can’t, it’s won’t. It’s a refusal to do the things that you know will take work because putting in the effort sounds exhausting.

You always have a choice. Let’s say you need to wake up earlier in the morning to have enough time for your morning routine. Although you’re perfectly capable of waking up early, you probably don’t want to because you already have a set way of doing things. Maybe it’s the journaling or writing exercises that you object to. You don’t want to write for any assignments because it’s not a pleasurable, dopamine-inducing activity.

But if you want to be successful in your reboot, you need to change every aspect of your life.

I’ll never lie to you and tell you that rebooting is easy but I will tell you that the result is worth it. Pushing through the feelings of apathy and doing things you don’t want to do will make you unrecognizable over the coming months. 

Remember – you don’t feel apathetic towards something you truly care about. Apathy arises when you’re resistant to doing the work it takes to get there. While apathy is a normal part of rebooting, overcoming those feelings is also a critical part of the process.

You’re not alone in dealing with feelings of apathy. Every man in the Porn Reboot program deals with them at one time or another. You may overcome them now and then have to deal with them again in the future. So long as you’re willing to do the work it takes to move through the apathy, though, you’re still on the right track.


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Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

Does Having a Hobby Help Your Reboot?

Today I’m bringing you another question from a brother in the group. He said:

“Hey, J.K., as I continue to improve for my reboot, I notice that I go about my days doing work, studying for certifications, and looking for entertainment options, but I realized that I don’t have a consistent, fulfilling hobby that I’m good at. 

Sometimes I think I’m not good at anything or that I can’t do anything special. I know you’ve talked about having a purpose as being a luxury, but what is your take on how to discover hobbies or interests? Is it better to focus on controlling my behavior and sticking with things that feel boring or mundane for the time being? Or do you recommend seeking out hobbies?”

If you’re struggling with an out-of-control sexual behavior or porn addiction, chances are some parts of your life are suffering. Maybe your marriage is failing, your career is backsliding, or your friendships are nonexistent. There are at least one or two things that drove you to finally address your compulsive behavior.

This means your reboot should consume most of your attention, time, and energy. Managing your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation must take the front seat if you truly want to change your life. You can’t address these difficulties in your life if you don’t dedicate yourself to fixing the thing that’s causing them.

At the same time, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any fun, either. The Porn Reboot system is a structured approach to controlling your behavior but it doesn’t mean that you have to live a miserable life after learning how to stop porn addiction. If life were boring and unfulfilling without porn, men would never be able to leave their compulsive behaviors behind.

You can find endless amounts of excitement and fulfillment in a porn-free life. It’s not a dull, unbearable way to go through life. In fact, cutting porn out of your life allows you to reconnect and re-engage with life in a way you haven’t been able to for years.

I fully support you going out and finding hobbies you enjoy. Although your reboot always needs to come first, there is plenty of time in your day outside of your reboot routine and activities that you can fill with interests and hobbies.

I’m sure you have some things you enjoyed before you sunk into an ever-worsening cycle of porn addiction. You had hobbies as a teenager or young adult that you enjoyed. Start by getting back into some of these things. Join an adult sports league in your community or find a local meetup for outdoor activities you loved in the past.

If you can’t think of any past hobbies you enjoyed, use your spare time as an opportunity to explore all the possibilities available to you. Think of things you always considered trying but never found the time to get around to doing. Maybe you’ve wanted to run a Spartan race, try your hand at an open mic, or take cooking classes at a local community college. You have the freedom to try these things today – make use of it!

I believe having a hobby helps immensely during the reboot process. When you quit using porn and masturbating multiple times throughout the day you’ll find that there’s likely a lot of time to fill. Your addiction consumed much of your days, nights, weeks, and months; take that time back and use it to your advantage now.

If you need some ideas for hobbies to try out or to share your hobbies with some of the porn addiction recovery brothers, check out our free Facebook group. Let us know what you’ve been doing with all your spare time and find some brothers who share the same interests and hobbies. Or maybe you’ll find an activity you never thought of trying before. Come and join us today!

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Secrets To Epic Sleep During Your Reboot

Secrets To Epic Sleep During Your Reboot

Scientists have discovered a revolutionary new treatment that makes you live longer.

It enhances your memory and makes you more creative. It makes you look more attractive. It keeps you slim and lowers your food cravings. It protects you from cancer and dementia. It wards off colds and the flu. It lowers your risk of heart attacks, stroke, and diabetes. It even helps you feel happier, less depressed, less anxious. 

Are you interested in this incredible treatment?

It’s called going to sleep.

Jokes aside, brother, sleep is vital for every aspect of your well-being. In the United States, studies estimate that we get about 6 hours of sleep per night. Most adults report struggling to get 8 to 9 hours of our recommended uninterrupted sleep. But dedicating some time to ensuring good sleep hygiene is crucial for the success of your reboot.

How Sleep Affects Your Performance

The quality of your sleep determines the quality of your life. Sleep affects the physical shape you’re in, including muscle growth and how much fat you store. Poor sleep increases cortisol and decreases growth hormones, testosterone levels, thyroid hormones, and lectin. It affects your decision-making skills, productivity, focus, impulse control, and more. 

Sleep also impacts your emotional well-being. When you’re sleep-deprived you’re more likely to be much more irritable and much less patient. You’re quicker to frustration and anger, and you’re less willing to hear out the other side of a conversation. Small stressors can easily become massive catalysts for emotional explosions when you don’t get enough sleep.

If that isn’t enough, sleep quality also affects your intelligence. Not getting enough sleep makes it harder to learn new things. You have a difficult time processing learned information and, thus, retaining new information. Your short-term memory suffers which also means your long-term memory struggles.

But getting good sleep can be a real challenge when you struggle with compulsive sexual behavior. You likely spend most of the night engaged in whichever behavior you prefer, be it porn, sex, masturbation, or whatever else. However, you can’t sacrifice your daytime responsibilities, either, so that likely means you’re operating on very few hours of sleep at any given time.

Tips To Get Good Sleep

When I struggled with my compulsive sexual behavior I tried all the sleep hacks there were. I did everything I could to function as well as possible on as little sleep as possible. But extensive research, as well as my own experience, shows that sleep hacks are not a long-term solution if you want to feel great and perform your best.

Still, I thought I was doing alright. I thought 5 or 6 hours of sleep per night was great. I didn’t realize that I was sleep-deprived. I was so used to operating at this sub-optimal level that I had no idea what I was missing out on. My lower energy levels, reduced performance, increased stress, and irritability was my normal for so long.

If you’re getting this much sleep then you’re probably in the same position whether you realize it or not. I had no idea how poorly I was performing until years later when I finally got my sleep schedule back on track. However, getting good sleep at the start of your reboot can be a real challenge. I’ve got a few tips you can try to get your sleep back on track.

1. Get sunlight in the morning.

Get outside and get some sun first thing in the morning. Try to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes in the sun in the morning, and about an hour total throughout the day. You may live somewhere like me where it isn’t sunny every day during the year, especially areas where it rains or snows frequently. So it’s even more important that you get sunlight in when you can.

2. Turn your screens off.

If you’re anything like the majority of the country, you probably fall asleep while scrolling social media or watching Netflix. This is the worst thing you can do, though. All that bright light is detrimental to your sleep quality. Try to turn your screens off at least two hours before bed. Use a pen and paper if you need to make a note of something and occupy yourself with books to wind down in the evening.

3. Your room is for sleeping and sex.

Limit the activities in your room to two things: sleeping and sex. Don’t eat in your room, don’t watch TV in your room, don’t play video games in your room. You shouldn’t have a television or computer in there, either. Bringing different activities into your bedroom makes it harder to get good sleep at night.

4. Keep your room as dark as possible.

You want your room to be as dark as possible when you’re sleeping and even during the day. Blackout curtains are a great tool to use. Take all the chargers and electronics that emit flashing lights out of your room. Limit the lights to an overhead light or a lamp with a soft glow. If you can’t keep your room this dark, consider buying a good eye mask.

5. Move workouts to earlier in the day.

Working out too close to bedtime can make it harder to get to sleep. This is especially true if you’re consuming stimulant-laden pre-workouts. Guys who go to the gym after work and take pre-workout at 5 or 6 PM find themselves wondering why they can’t fall asleep. Elevating your hormones and combining that with stimulants makes it harder to get good sleep.

6. Leave your phone outside your bedroom.

Charging your phone next to your bed makes it far more tempting to pick it up and check it before you go to sleep or first thing in the morning. It also makes it harder to avoid temptations to scroll through risky websites and apps, or even to completely relapse. Charge your phone in your kitchen or living room instead to keep the temptation at bay.

7. Get a good mattress.

Having a low-quality mattress can lead to getting poor-quality sleep. You spend almost a third of your life in bed so invest in a good mattress. Fighting against an uncomfortable bed will make it hard to sleep well. It’s much easier to get good, uninterrupted sleep when you have a comfortable mattress that’s tuned to your preferences. 

8. Set aside some time to unwind before going to sleep.

Trying to go to sleep straight from the gym or work will keep you from getting good sleep. Your cortisol levels are still too elevated if you don’t give yourself some time to relax and unwind. It’s important to set aside some time at night away from your phone and computer to de-stress before you go to sleep. Read a book, do a word puzzle, write in a journal, or practice meditation before you lay down in bed.

9. Take a hot shower before getting in bed.

Taking a hot shower or bath before bed is a great way to calm down and unwind before trying to fall asleep. It also decreases your internal body temperature which can help you fall asleep faster once you lay down.

10. Consider sleep trackers.

There are hundreds of gadgets and apps available that help you track your sleep. Understanding how long it takes you to fall asleep, how much time you spend in the REM sleep stages, and how much time you spend in deep sleep can help you adjust your daytime approaches to getting better sleep. Avoid using one directly on your phone, though, so you can continue storing it outside your room.

The Benefits of Good Sleep

Once you take control of your sleep schedule the benefits are undeniable. You’ll feel more attentive, focused, calm, collected, and present throughout the day. You’ll perform better physically and mentally. You’re going to be a better partner, colleague, and father. And you’ll feel far less tempted to slip than you do when you get poor sleep.

Taking time to ensure good sleep hygiene is crucial for men in the Porn Addiction Recovery – Reboot program. It isn’t easy at first but it’s well worth the work that it takes. Until you get your sleep on track, you have no idea what you’re missing. Trust me, brother; this one is worth investing in.

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