Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.
Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction symptoms I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:
Loss of concentration
Depression
Lack of romance
Lack of achievement
Low energy
Erectile dysfunction
Premature ejaculation
Unusual porn fetishes
No attraction to real-life partners
Loss of ability to orgasm during sex
It’s no secret that dating women or finding a girlfriend in this day and age is a challenge. The rise of dating apps and the decline of interest in commitment make for a brutal playing field. It is a disheartening game to play and men often feel like they’re at a disadvantage from the start.
This especially difficult dating world is to blame for the lack of romance in many different circumstances. But if you also have a problem with your pornography use, your lack of romance might be better attributed to porn addiction.
Exposure to pornography has serious effects on how attractive you find potential partners. Men who view lots of pornography frequently compare women they see in real life to women they watch on the screen.
Some studies suggest that pornography can help relationships but my experience as a porn addiction recovery coach reveals the opposite. I’ve found that excessive exposure to pornography torpedos existing relationships or limits the possibility of developing intimacy in a new one.
Porn is completely void of romance. There is nothing intimate or romantic about pornography. And comparing women in real life to the women you see on the screen will only destroy your likelihood of finding and developing a romantic relationship. If you notice a lack of romance in your life, it might be time to reconsider your porn use.
Making your partner feel loved and cared for requires more time, work, and attention when they live hours away from you. Maintaining a long-distance relationship while struggling with out-of-control sexual behavior is even more challenging.
One of the brothers in our Porn Reboot group recently asked about maintaining a long-distance relationship while in the middle of his reboot. His question focused on two main concerns: phone and video sex, and general reboot management while in a long-distance relationship.
When it comes to phone sex during your reboot, I believe the answer should always be no. This is especially true for video call sex on FaceTime or Skype. Even though it’s your partner on the other side of the screen, the experience is almost no different than other virtual forms of erotic stimulation.
Your brain can’t tell the difference between your partner and any other pornstar on the screen. Sure, at face value you know that it’s the person you’re committed to. But at the same time, it’s a false sense of intimacy and connection. Engaging in video call sex, even with someone you’re in a committed relationship with, places you at risk of a porn addiction relapse.
An important part of the porn addiction recovery process is gearing your brain away from the preference for high-speed internet pornography and toward physical intimacy in real life. It’s difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship without a frequent sexual component. However, if you want to be successful in your reboot, you must avoid engaging in sexual stimulation through the phone.
That brings us to the general concern of maintaining a long-distance relationship while rebooting. Truthfully, I’m not the biggest supporter of long-distance relationships that last for years. I believe that they can be a serious threat to your reboot because they keep you from building the intimacy necessary to have a healthy relationship.
Long-distance relationships are challenging for people who don’t already have problems with porn addiction effects, sex, and masturbation. Men who can jerk off and go on with their day are better suited for these types of relationships. But brothers in the Porn Addiction Counseling are not able to have that luxury.
Learning to be physically intimate with a partner is an important part of the reboot process. Being in a relationship with someone who lives miles, hours, or even states away makes that harder to do. You cannot work on your physical intimacy when you only see your partner every so often. When you find yourself physically unsatisfied, you’re far more likely to turn to your out-of-control behavior for relief.
I believe that men who are rebooting should seek out relationships with women who live nearby. You shouldn’t have to drive more than an hour to meet up with the women you’re dating. There are so many hundreds of women in the world that limiting yourself to a long-distance relationship only adds unnecessary stress.
Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.
Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction symptoms I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:
Be honest with yourself – how much did you accomplish in the last year before finding the Porn Reboot system? I’m guessing you didn’t do much with your life outside of the bare minimum needed to meet your responsibilities. Most of the men who arrive here have very little going for themselves other than what they have to do in a day.
I know that I honestly didn’t achieve anything when I was hooked on porn. Sure, I worked my butt off for years. Anyone who regularly reads the blog or listens to the podcast knows about my extensive experience in door-to-door sales. I showed up almost every day and worked as hard as I could while I was there, but I didn’t have much to show for it.
All of my free time was spent watching porn and that carried over into every other area of my life. I didn’t excel in anything; I merely achieved average results at best. My mind was preoccupied with my out-of-control behavior so I couldn’t give my all to anything outside of that.
On the other hand, once I quit pornography and stayed off it, I achieved more than I had in several years. My productivity was amazing, my business expanded rapidly, my interpersonal skills soared, and my spiritual growth deepened. I could focus fully on what was in front of me and concentrate for longer periods which helped me accomplish more than I realized I was capable of.
If you notice a lack of achievement in your life, it might have to do with your porn use. Limited or no achievement comes as a result of poor mental strength and a limited capacity for success. You’ll continue struggling until you learn to control your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.
I recently wrote about the importance (and difficulty) of developing patience during your reboot.
Patience is a necessary part of rebooting because these changes don’t happen all at once. You don’t decide that you’re done with your compulsive behavior and then find yourself suddenly free from your struggles.
I like to look at the reboot process like a garden. You’re like a gardener trying to grow a beautiful garden with fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Just like a gardener plants his seeds and patiently waits for his crops to grow, you must also plant the seeds of your reboot and wait for the results to follow.
You plant your seeds during the early porn addiction recovery stage. You must trust that while you won’t see the results for some time, they will pay off eventually. When planting the seeds of your reboot, you can expect to receive the same positive results as the hundreds of other men who changed their lives with the Porn Reboot system.
The middle and late reboot stages are when your saplings begin to show. You start to see the results of the work you did during your early reboot. The fruits, vegetables, and flowers of the reboot process include things like confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness, focus, diligence, and encouragement.
Your reboot garden also faces the threat of pests and weeds, much like the gardener deals with in his own garden. These threats to your reboot are things like procrastination, doubt, frustration, and impatience. If you don’t take steps to remove these things, eventually they will infest your garden and limit what can grow there.
Patience is one of the crucial elements of any good garden. A gardener doesn’t dig up his seeds when he doesn’t see saplings within the first few days of planting. He trusts the process and allows his plants time to grow. He knows how a garden works and recognizes that he must be patient if he wants to have a beautiful garden.
In the same way, you must trust the Porn Addiction Counseling. You can’t expect sudden, drastic changes and give up when they don’t happen as quickly as you’d like. You may feel tempted to throw in the towel and seek out another system instead. But you have to trust the reboot process and know that the positive results will come as long as you commit to it.
You also cannot force the process to happen any faster. A gardener cannot speed up the growth of his tomato plants any more than you can speed up your ability to quit porn, sex, and masturbation. All he can do is plant the seeds and water; all you can do is follow the Porn Reboot system. You can’t make your brain rewire any quicker than is natural.
Finally, the most important part of your reboot garden is continuing to do what resulted in the growth of a beautiful garden. Every gardener knows he cannot rely on last year’s work to grow his garden the following year. This means you must continue doing the things that helped you build a life free from out-of-control sexual behavior.
Over time, the practice of growing a garden becomes routine and comfortable. The same applies to your reboot. While these new practices may feel strange and difficult to implement, they become second nature to you the more you practice them. If you follow the Porn Addiction Counseling Program or Porn Reboot system as it’s outlined, you will grow a beautiful life filled with the fruits of your labor for years to come!
You often hear people stressing the importance of living a balanced life.
They believe you should spread your attention and energy evenly between different responsibilities and interests Then men who are trying to control their sexual behavior are then exposed to these ideas and views of the world, from things like counselors, therapists, and traditional 12-step recovery programs.
I listen to these things as a man who runs a system where other men achieve phenomenal results in a short period. They learn to control their out-of-control sexual behavior in 90 days and fully rewire their brains in a year and a half to two years. In my opinion, you cannot achieve drastic, incredible results like those in the Porn Reboot program while living a balanced life.
Further, I believe that people who are living balanced lives do so because they don’t know what their priorities are. Instead of determining what’s most important in life and going after it, they try to cover everything. Rather than doing a few things very well, they’re mediocre at a lot of different things.
That approach doesn’t work for me. I wanted to live a life of priorities, not a life of balance. I believe you need to get clear on your priorities and dive headfirst into pursuing them. I’m not a fan of the idea that you should spread your energy evenly; I think you should find what ignites your fire and pursue that with everything you have in you.
Life is constantly changing. Nothing remains the same. Your kids are growing up as you read this. Your relationships are not always guaranteed. You may move across the city, across the state, or across the country one day. You might start a new business. Your health is never guaranteed. And yet you’re going to strive for balance across your social life, family life, emotional life, and spiritual life?
That doesn’t make sense to me. I see guys who are 23, 24, or 25 years old trying to maintain a long-term relationship, start a business, finish school, build their ideal physique, and meditate for an hour every day. They also want to travel the world and participate in the Porn Reboot program simultaneously.
All this does is lead to burnout and leaves you questioning your capabilities. I think balance is a myth. It’s a false ideal that is impossible to achieve in the real world. I believe we go through life in seasons because of the constant state of change. Trying to juggle all these things at one time is only going to hurt you in the long run. I’ve done it before too, brother. I had a ton going on in my early 20s, too. I was in school, running the sales team for my company, trying to build my physique, and end my behavior with porn and masturbation. All I ended up doing was spinning in circles and not finding success in any one area.
I decided to focus on two areas instead of all four. I chose to focus on building up my body and ending my out-of-control behavior, then I lived and breathed these two things until I was successful in both. Once I achieved what I was looking for, I shifted that energy to my next priority of managing my anxiety. Then I shifted it to building the Porn Addiction Counseling – Reboot system. And I continue doing the same thing to this day.
I tried for balance and found it didn’t work for someone like me. I need to do things full-force or not at all. I think giving only part of yourself to something leads to mediocre results. You can’t grow when you don’t give your all to something. I think you should prioritize growth over balance every time. And the men who take this approach with their reboot are the ones who find the most success.
When a brother joins the Porn Reboot Intensive program, we always start with a welcome call.
I want to get to know this brother and begin documenting his experience. One of the first things we do is establish expectations that men have when they arrive at our program. What do they want to accomplish? What does their life look like without porn? How do they anticipate getting to that point?
I do this because I want to ensure that we can support you in your journey. While I know that the Porn Reboot system works for the men who apply it, I want to make sure that your plans align with how the system is laid out. I want to see whether your expectations will be met or whether another approach to controlling your behavior is better suited for you.
Developing patience is one of the most common expectations I hear from our potential brothers. Their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation has finely tuned their need for instant gratification. This leads to significant problems with impatience and a short temper. They want to know whether Porn Reboot can help them develop their patience.
Something most brothers don’t realize, though, is that their compulsive sexual behavior also warps their experience of time. Consider how often you’ve said, “I’m only going to watch porn for a half-hour,” but then find yourself still opening tabs three hours later. You have no idea where that time went, you only know that it’s gone.
This same time warp occurs when you start separating from porn, sex, and masturbation. I see men with around a month and a half in the program convinced they’re in the maintenance stage of their reboot. In reality, they’re still in the early stage of the process. It feels like it’s been months when it’s only been a few weeks.
It’s frustrating to realize how much work it takes to fully rewire your brain. Since you’ve geared yourself for instant gratification, the idea that it takes time to reboot is a foreign concept. You don’t get the benefits of a porn-free life without some hard work and patience.
I like to use the example of a gardener planting a garden. He understands that, while his plants begin to grow as soon as he plants the seed, he won’t see the results for quite some time. He will not see a sprout, a branch, a leaf, or a fruit for many days after placing those seeds. But he trusts that by putting in the work, from planting to watering to waiting, his plants will grow with time.
The same goes for your porn addiction recovery. It may not seem like you’re making progress, but the change begins from the moment you implement some reboot principles. Even when you continue struggling with slips and relapses, the reboot process is in place.
The path to patience in your reboot is paved with bricks that say “progress not perfection.” Your success in the Pornography Addiction Treatment program likely does not mean complete abstinence. But it does mean showing up to work on time, spending evenings with your family, and taking time to better yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Developing patience in your reboot is a slow process, too, but even recognizing the need for it is a step in the right direction. It’s difficult and easy to get agitated. Think of the gardener when bugs and pests begin to infiltrate his newly-sprouted seedlings. He must get frustrated, too. But he still trusts the process and recognizes that every garden comes with its troubles.
As you accept the inevitable presence of pests and move toward their removal, you’ll find yourself closer to patience. Your newfound outlook will flower into the fruits of confidence, diligence, self-esteem, self-awareness, self-compassion, and more. These fruits are available even during the early reboot stage, brother. All it takes is some work and dedication.
Developing patience is an important aspect of your reboot and the Porn Addiction Counseling system will help you get there. Just like the gardener, though, you must recognize that while it won’t happen all at once, you’re already well on your way there.
Relapse is a common concern for men when they begin their reboot.
Most come from past programs with abstinence-only approaches that make you feel like you’ve failed if you have a slip. I see it differently, though. When you’re learning how to stop porn addiction, relapses are part of the process.
If you’re like the majority of men early in the Porn Reboot system, you likely attach a lot of emotion to relapses. You feel a lot of guilt and shame if you start watching porn again, even if only for an evening. You might find yourself trapped in a negative thought spiral that keeps you stuck for longer than you should be.
I prefer men in the Porn Reboot program to remove all emotion from the relapse experience. You don’t need to assign big feelings to it when it happens; simply recognize that you made a mistake and determine how you can best avoid it moving forward. In this way, I like to see the process of viewing slips as data. This makes it easier to get back on track instead of digging yourself into a hole.
Men who are prone to feeling big emotions after a relapse will struggle with this at first. Learning to detach emotions from slips feels like a huge challenge. But when you start to rationally view slips as data, it becomes easier to not feel guilt, shame, or anger because you’re busy processing the experience.
For example, when you experience a slip you can immediately dissect what happened. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep because you stayed up too late watching YouTube videos on your phone. You watched the videos because you felt frustrated that work took longer to complete than usual and you wanted to feel a bit of relief from that stress.
This gives you multiple points to adjust so that you don’t have to slip in this same manner again. If you finished your work in time, you wouldn’t have felt as stressed or frustrated. If you recognized that sometimes you’re going to have bad days at work, you might not have sought relief from YouTube videos. If you still needed some time to de-stress, you could have achieved it by reading a book or meditating for a few minutes instead.
Breaking down your relapse in this way makes it almost impossible to feel bad about it. Sure, the goal of the Porn Reboot program is to eliminate your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But expecting it to go away immediately is only a recipe for disaster. Assigning big emotions to something that’s almost guaranteed sets you up for failure, too.
Viewing slips as data is a far more efficient approach to your reboot. If you haven’t already, I recommend practicing it as you learn how to stop porn addiction. You’ll become more effective not only at avoiding slips, but you can apply this reasoning to other troublesome areas of your life. You don’t need to feel bad about relapses when they simply offer you more information on how to avoid them in the future!
Brother, addiction to pornography is a big problem in our society today. Many people are developing a pornography addiction as a result of easy access to pornographic content on the internet. It’s crucial to realize that not everyone who views pornography develops an addiction to it. Pornography addiction can occur for a number of reasons, but one of the most important causes is opportunity-induced addiction.
When someone develops a pornography addiction as a result of having easy access to pornographic content, this is known as opportunity-induced addiction. For those who struggle with poor self-control, unstable emotions, and humiliation, this is frequently the case. We shall delve into these three aspects of pornography addiction in more detail.
Low Self-Control
You’ve probably heard of self-control before. It’s the ability to regulate your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to achieve long-term goals. However, some of us struggle with low self-control, and that can make us more vulnerable to addiction.
When it comes to pornography addiction, low self-control is a big factor. People who struggle with self-control are more likely to indulge in pornography when given the opportunity. They might not set any boundaries for themselves or have any moderation in their behavior. As a result, they can quickly become addicted to pornographic material.
If you find yourself struggling with self-control, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Many people struggle with this, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. However, it’s crucial to take steps to strengthen your self-control and prevent addiction.
One way to do this is to set clear boundaries for yourself around pornography use. Try to limit your viewing time and avoid using pornography when you’re feeling vulnerable or emotional. It’s also helpful to find alternative ways to cope with stress and negative emotions, such as exercise or meditation.
Emotional Instability
Emotions are a big part of being human. We all experience sadness, frustration, grief, loss, loneliness, or anger at some point in our lives. It’s important to have healthy ways to express and deal with these emotions. But sometimes, we might not know how to handle them in a healthy way, and that’s where emotional instability comes in.
People who struggle with emotional instability may not know how to express or deal with their emotions in a healthy way. They might bury their emotions and try to ignore them. This can lead to emotional distress and even mental health problems.
In some cases, people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with their emotions. Pornography addiction is one of these coping mechanisms. When people experience negative emotions, they might turn to porn or other sexual activities to distract themselves from their emotions and feel better. Unfortunately, this can lead to addiction and make things worse in the long run.
That’s why it’s important to learn healthy ways to deal with our emotions. Talking to a therapist or Reboot coach can be a great way to start. They can help you identify your emotions and teach you healthy coping mechanisms to deal with them. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones are also great ways to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way.
Remember brother, emotional instability is a common factor in pornography addiction. By learning healthy ways to deal with our emotions, we can avoid falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms and addiction.
Shame
Shame is a difficult emotion to deal with, especially when it comes to addiction. It’s understandable why people turn to pornography to distract themselves from the shame they feel. But it’s important to remember that there are healthier ways to deal with shame.
One common cause of shame in pornography addiction is secrecy. When people keep secrets, it can create a pattern of behavior where they feel like they have to lead a double life. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness and shame. If you’re feeling ashamed of your addiction, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are resources available to help you overcome your addiction.
Another cause of shame in pornography addiction can come from discrimination. If you grew up in a household where your parents discriminated against certain groups of people, you may have internalized those beliefs. This can lead to shame if you find yourself attracted to someone outside of those beliefs. It’s important to challenge those beliefs and remind yourself that love knows no boundaries.
Shame can also come from past traumas or experiences, such as sexual abuse or assault. People who have experienced trauma may feel intense shame and guilt, even if they were not at fault for what happened to them. This shame can lead them to turn to pornography as a way to cope with their emotions and feelings of worthlessness.
In addition, shame can also arise from religious or cultural beliefs. Many religions and cultures view sexual activity outside of marriage or certain norms as sinful or shameful. Individuals who grew up in such environments may feel deep shame and guilt for engaging in pornography or other sexual activities, even if they do not necessarily believe it is wrong.
It’s important to recognize that shame is a complex emotion and can arise from many different factors. However, dealing with shame is an important step in overcoming pornography addiction. This can involve seeking therapy or counseling to address underlying issues and learning healthy ways to cope with difficult emotions.
By addressing the root causes of shame and developing healthy coping mechanisms, individuals can work towards breaking free from the cycle of addiction and living a happier, more fulfilling life.
Pornography addiction is a big problem, but understanding the causes of opportunity-induced addiction can help people take steps to prevent addiction and seek help if necessary. If you struggle with low self-control, emotional instability, or shame, it’s important to talk to someone about it. Addiction can be overcome, but it takes effort and support. Remember that you’re not alone, brother. There’s help available, and you can break free from addiction.
Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.
Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction problems I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:
Do you feel tired no matter how much sleep you get? Whether it’s an hour because you stayed up all night watching porn or it’s one of those miraculous full nights of sleep, you may feel exhausted regardless of the amount of rest you got.
Low energy is another common porn addiction symptom. Compulsive porn use zaps you of your energy whether you realize it or not. I struggled to stay awake during the day when I watched a lot of porn. Some nights it was because I was up far too late, other times it was the residual mental exhaustion that comes from constant preoccupation with porn addiction effects.
The difference between energy levels when you are on and off pornography is like night and day. Off pornography, I’m able to put in 18-hour workdays, including two to three hours at the gym, every day. I still get a solid amount of sleep each night and then in the mornings I’m up, excited, and ready to do it again.
I understand that other things may cause your low energy levels. Disrupted sleep cycles, underlying illness, or adrenal fatigue are some factors that can seriously impact your energy levels. But if you’re dealing with an out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, that compulsive sexual behavior is most likely the cause of your struggles.
You shouldn’t need obscene amounts of caffeine to make it through the day. If you’re chugging energy drinks, pounding espresso, or relying on other stimulants to raise your energy levels, you might want to consider your porn use as another primary culprit.
Porn addiction is a serious problem for thousands of men around the world. I know this is true because I’ve worked with many of them in my almost 15 years of building the Porn Reboot program. It’s something that can destroy a man’s life and strip him of everything worth living for when it gets bad enough.
Pornography is a growing issue, especially for men who are exposed to it during their younger years. Excessive porn use alters natural brain chemistry and causes a wide range of negative effects. Are you wondering whether your pornography use might be a problem? Over the next few weeks, I want to cover 10 of the most common porn addiction problems I see among men seeking help in the Porn Reboot program. These include:
One of the biggest jokes about human sexuality revolves around men who can’t last long in bed. There are plenty of reasons why some men come too fast, and porn doesn’t always have to do with it. However, if you struggle with premature ejaculation and watch a lot of porn, chances are the two are related.
A common cause of ejaculating too soon comes from training your brain to reach climax as quickly as possible. It usually begins during adolescence when you have very few opportunities to masturbate. You took any chance you could get, and it usually had to happen fast. But the longer you did this, the more it instilled the need to ejaculate fast in your brain.
Fast forward a few years, and premature ejaculation can become a debilitating pattern that affects your sexual relationships. It can be incredibly embarrassing and shameful, especially as you start to dip your toes back into building relationships and having sex with women.
Thankfully you can do something about your premature ejaculation. You’re less likely to deal with premature ejaculation as porn addiction effect and masturbation become a part of your past life. Spending more time around women and having more sexual encounters will also improve your ability to last in bed. It won’t happen all at once, and it takes time to retrain your brain, but it’s possible to end your struggles with premature ejaculation.
