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The Ripple Effect: Unveiling the Impact of Porn Addiction Symptoms on Relationships

Porn Addiction Symptoms / By
The Ripple Effect: Unveiling the Impact of Porn Addiction Symptoms on Relationships

In today’s digitally interconnected world, where explicit content is just a click away, the issue of porn addiction has become increasingly prevalent. While the primary focus is often on the individual struggling with addiction, it’s equally important to recognize the significant ripple effect that porn addiction symptoms can have on relationships. This article will explore how porn addiction affects relationships and shed light on the often-overlooked consequences for partners and loved ones.

Understanding Porn Addiction Symptoms

Porn addiction, also known as Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD), is characterized by an individual’s inability to control their consumption of explicit sexual content, leading to negative consequences in various aspects of their life. It’s crucial to remember that porn addiction is a behavioral addiction, similar in many ways to substance addictions like drugs or alcohol.

The symptoms of porn addiction are not always immediately apparent and can vary from person to person. However, recognizing these symptoms is essential for understanding how they impact relationships.

The Impact of Porn Addiction Symptoms on Relationships

  • Betrayal and Trust Issues: One of the most significant impacts of porn addiction on relationships is the sense of betrayal experienced by partners. Discovering that a loved one has been consuming explicit material secretly can shatter trust. Partners often feel deceived and wonder what else their significant other might be hiding.
  • Emotional Distance: Porn addiction symptoms can lead to emotional distance in a relationship. The individual struggling with addiction may become emotionally detached or distant as their focus shifts towards pursuing explicit content. This emotional disconnection can leave their partner feeling isolated and neglected.
  • Communication Breakdown: Open and honest communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. However, porn addiction can hinder communication between partners. Individuals struggling with addiction may avoid discussing their behavior, fearing judgment or confrontation. This lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
  • Intimacy Issues: Porn addiction can lead to intimacy issues in a relationship. The unrealistic portrayals of sex in pornography can create unrealistic expectations and fantasies that may be difficult to fulfill in a real-world connection. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and dissatisfaction for both partners.
  • Loss of Connection: As addiction deepens, individuals may spend more time seeking explicit content, leaving less time and energy for meaningful interactions with their partner. This loss of connection can result in a growing emotional chasm between partners.
  • Diminished Self-Esteem: Partners of individuals struggling with porn addiction may experience a decline in self-esteem. They may compare themselves to the idealized and unrealistic depictions in pornography, leading to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.
  • Sexual Dysfunction: Porn addiction symptoms can lead to sexual dysfunction within a relationship. The individual struggling with addiction may experience difficulties achieving or maintaining arousal and struggle to engage in sexual activity with their partner.
  • Impact on Mental Health: The emotional toll of discovering a partner’s addiction can be significant and may lead to anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues for the affected partner. The secrecy and betrayal associated with porn addiction can exacerbate these mental health challenges.

 

Recognizing the Impact: How to Identify Porn Addiction Symptoms in a Relationship

Recognizing the signs of porn addiction symptoms within a relationship is essential. Here are some indicators to look out for:

  • Secrecy and Hiding Behavior: Partners who are secretive about their online activities or make efforts to hide their consumption of explicit content may be exhibiting signs of addiction.
  • Neglect of Relationship: If your partner increasingly prioritizes pornography over spending time with you or engaging in meaningful activities, it could be a sign of addiction.
  • Emotional Distress: Sudden changes in your partner’s emotional well-being, such as increased irritability, anxiety, or mood swings, may indicate an underlying issue, such as porn addiction.
  • Decline in Intimacy: A noticeable decline in physical intimacy or a lack of interest in sexual activity with you can be a sign that your partner’s sexual desires are being primarily fulfilled through pornography.
  • Communication Breakdown: If your attempts to discuss the issue or express concerns are consistently met with defensiveness, avoidance, or hostility, it may be a sign that your partner is grappling with addiction.

The Road to Recovery

Recognizing the impact of porn addiction on a relationship is the first step towards addressing the issue and seeking help. Here are some steps couples can take to navigate this challenging journey together:

  • Open and Honest Communication: Encourage open and non-judgmental communication between partners. Create a safe space where both individuals can share their feelings and concerns.
  • Seek Professional Help: Consult a therapist or counselor specializing in addiction and couples therapy. Professional guidance can help both partners understand the addiction and develop strategies for recovery.
  • Support Groups: Joining a support group for individuals dealing with addiction and their partners can provide a sense of community and understanding.
  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and expectations within the relationship. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not regarding pornography and other forms of explicit content.
  • Empathy and Patience: Both partners should practice compassion and patience throughout recovery. Recovery can be a long and challenging journey, and supporting each other through ups and downs is essential.
  • Self-Care: Partners should prioritize self-care and well-being. Caring for mental and emotional health is crucial during this challenging time.

Conclusion

The ripple effect of porn addiction symptoms on relationships is profound and often underestimated. By recognizing the impact on trust, communication, intimacy, and emotional well-being, couples can take steps to address the issue together. Remember, seeking help and support is a positive and courageous step towards healing and rebuilding a healthy relationship. Let’s break the silence surrounding the impact of porn addiction on relationships and promote understanding and empathy in the journey to recovery.

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The Truth About Money, Power, and Sex

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The Truth About Money, Power, and Sex

A common misconception I see men believing in is the idea that good education, good looks, and solid spirituality implies a healthy relationship with money, power, or sexual behavior.

I’m here to tell you, brother, that oftentimes this is not the case. Society tends to operate under the assumption that success comes to those with a combination of good looks, intelligence, and good morals.

Simply put, many of us define success as access to money, power, and sex. Whether you’re upfront about it or not, this combination tends to be the driving force for the majority of men in the Porn Reboot program as well as most of society at large.

Oftentimes people hide these three main desires behind the term “freedom.” They want the freedom to live by their terms, to spend as much time with their family as they want to, to be free from worries about things like finances and health, and so on. 

In their pursuit of freedom, men go to school, build up their skills, take care of their bodies, learn to carry themselves well, associate with the right people, establish a place in their church, and more. Working toward all of these things is a positive thing to do. They’re chasing after success and working to become the best possible versions of themselves.

Ultimately, though, what these men hope for after achieving their definition of success is the freedom to purchase any material item they want, to influence or control situations to their advantage, or to fulfill their deepest sexual fantasies with whomever they please. This again boils down to the desire for money, power, and sex.

If you’re honest with yourself this description probably applies to you, too. There’s nothing wrong with the pursuit of these things, though, brother. They’re natural desires and something that everyone in the world works for. But it doesn’t matter how much you achieve if you cannot build a good relationship with these things once you have them.

Again, the idea that men who have these things have a good relationship with them is a misconception. There are plenty of men who have millions of dollars but squander their wealth, men who have more power than you can imagine but use it to cause harm, and men who have their choice of whatever woman they could want but go about their conquests in an abusive way.

Good relationships with money, power, and sex are skills that must be developed. They aren’t necessarily an inherent part of us. Unfortunately, society doesn’t often teach us how to build good relationships with these things. Too often we take our pursuit of them to the extreme. 

Our parents, mentors, and teachers told us we need to be smart, knowledgeable, moral, and spiritual. We must follow all of society’s rules. They said that if we adhered to all of these then good things would happen to us. We would find the right woman, have access to sex, experience marital bliss, and have financial prosperity.

But they didn’t teach us the most important part: understanding how money works and what a good relationship with it looks like; understanding power and how it should be wielded; and understanding the truth about our natural sexuality. These are things that weren’t spoken about and it fell on us to develop an understanding for ourselves. 

How often have you seen celebrities, politicians, athletes, high standing religious individuals, famous pastors, or people with great intelligence, incredible beauty, or good character lose everything to money, power, or sex? They pursued these things to an extreme and ended up failing because of it.

You may have secretly or even openly judged them but are you honestly any different? 

I know I’m not.

As you know, I fell prey to my sexual behavior for many years. Fortunately, during my mid-twenties I developed a system to help me control it. That system was the early beginnings of the porn addiction recovery system that’s still in use today. It changed my entire life and helped me eliminate the control that porn addiction effect had over my life.

Despite this newfound control over my sexual behavior, I still struggled in other areas. I made a decent amount of money in my sales position but squandered it due to my lack of financial understanding. I was a poor leader at the company I worked for, burning many bridges by letting my imagined power get to my head.

While I had learned to control my problem with porn and masturbation, I didn’t have a good relationship with money or power. I had to develop an understanding of what positive demonstrations of these things looked like before I could build a healthy relationship with them like I had with sex.

So now I ask you, brother, how is your relationship with sex going? If it were perfect you wouldn’t be here reading this blog. You’re likely struggling to control your behavior and now realizing that its impact on your life is getting worse.

Or maybe you’re like me at the beginning where you have gained control over your sexual behavior but now you’re struggling with your spending habits or lashing out at your subordinates in the office. You have one part of the equation solved but there are still two more sides to the triangle that you need to even out.

But here’s the thing: eliminating your behavior with porn and masturbation removes a significant roadblock. Men who struggle with porn addiction problems and compulsive sexual behavior cannot develop healthy relationships with money or power, either. Once you control the sexual part of the equation you free yourself up to control the other two aspects.

The skills of managing money, power, and sex are not innate for some men, brother, but the ability to learn them is out there. It’s up to you to take responsibility for learning how to build healthy relationships with these things for yourself.

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“Help! I’m Attracted To Other Women While Married!”

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One of our brothers brought a great question to the group recently.

“Part of my desire to look at porn has to do with the fact that I still want to have sex with other women even though I’m in a relationship. I act out to give me that experience without ‘cheating.’ How do I reframe this mindset to have the right perspective about having a healthy porn-free sex life?”

First of all, wanting to have sex with multiple women is natural. Whether that’s a “good” or “bad” thing depends on you, your values, and what you were raised to do. Plenty of men enjoy a fun, hookup-filled youth. They slept with many different women and made the most of it during the times they could. 

Having these sexual experiences is crucial early on, before choosing to settle down with a partner. I think that we can all agree that being in a committed relationship does mean that having multiple partners is out of the question. 

Some men choose to get married early and never have a hookup phase. They found a woman they love and care about but sacrificed the opportunity to have a range of sexual experiences. After a decade or two, though, I find that some of these men regret never giving themselves that chance.

This brother admits that part of the reason he views porn addiction problems is to keep him loyal to his partner. He suppresses the biological urge to sleep with a variety of women by watching things play out on a screen. While I think that’s an important realization to come to, it doesn’t work for men who deal with compulsive sexual behavior.

Committed relationships make our lives easier as civilized human beings. It relieves us of the time-consuming biological aspect of jealousy. This frees you up to focus on other important aspects of your life such as caring for your family and performing well at work. It also increases the vital sense of intimacy between you and your partner.

Pornography robs you of your ability to be intimate with your partner. Sure, you may have sex. You might even have a lot of sex. But sex doesn’t necessarily equate to intimacy. Watching hours and hours of porn caters to your most primal desires and strips away all intimacy, one of the most important aspects of human relationships.

Although it’s natural to want to sleep with many different women, you’ve decided to commit to the woman you’re in a relationship with. Millions of men over the years have found a way to be in committed relationships and remain monogamous which means you can do the same.

Feeling attraction for other women isn’t a reason to act out on your compulsive behavior. It’s not ran excuse to continue watching porn. You can’t justify the detrimental effects that your behavior has by saying it keeps you from stepping out on the relationship. There are plenty of more fulfilling ways to live your life that don’t involve cheating on your partner.

If this is something you’re actively struggling with, I invite you to join us in the FREE Porn Reboot Facebook group. There are tons of men in there who understand exactly what you’re going through and can likely share a story or two about their own experience. You’re anything but alone in this experience, brother. All you have to do is reach out for help.

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The Number One Thing Holding Christian Men Back

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The Number One Thing Holding Christian Men Back

Did you grow up in a Christian household or still consider yourself a Christian today?

I’ve found over the years that men who were raised in a religious household or are still a practicing Christian have trouble ending their out-of-control sexual behavior. It’s not impossible but these men do face a unique challenge.

I was indoctrinated into Christianity at a very early age. I’m not religious anymore but I was raised in a strict Catholic household. This meant praying every evening, saying the rosary, going to Catholic school, and attending mass every Sunday. I developed a very binary view of the world; something was either sinful or it was not.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not out to attack Christianity. Just because it doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean that it can’t work for you. There are plenty of Christian brothers in the Porn Reboot program working to end their compulsive behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. I do believe this gives me some insight into the particular struggles our Christian brothers have.

Christianity holds a very conservative view of sexual behavior and sexuality in general. Growing up I believed that sex was a bad thing because of all the rules surrounding it. I believed that having sexual relations with a woman outside of marriage meant I was doing something very, very wrong. Something sinful.

This concept of sin is a powerful idea and it’s something that leaves my Christian brothers conflicted. It holds them back subconsciously as they start the reboot process. They can accept the scientific parts of their out-of-control behavior but it’s almost impossible for them to let go of the idea that they’ve sinned.

When I was in my 20s I worked as a door-to-door salesman selling books for one of the leading publishers in the world. Our best-selling book was a high-quality study Bible. They included the Greek translations as well as a Latin and Greek dictionary to give readers deeper insight into the texts.

I spent much of my free time reading and studying the Bible during my time at that job. Admittedly, I didn’t study it because I was religious; I studied it because it was the primary product I sold. However, I did enjoy reading the Bible immensely, especially having the Greek translations alongside the verses.

As I read it, I came across the definition of the word sin. Sin is called “harmatia” in Greek, which means a tragic flaw. I’ve carried that definition of sin with me ever since because it makes perfect sense. If sin is a tragic flaw, something we need salvation from, that means sin is part of our nature. It means that we have something within us as men that we cannot outrun, escape, or deny.

This also implies that your compulsive behavior with pornography, sex, and masturbation is part of your intrinsic makeup. This is where my Christian brothers find themselves stuck. They develop the belief that something is inherently wrong with them because of this sinful nature. They believe they aren’t worthy of being loved because they cannot seem to control their sin.

The more I read that study Bible, though, the more I learned. Eventually, I realized that there was an even earlier definition for “harmatia”: to miss the mark. Sin isn’t some inherent tragic flaw in your makeup; it’s simply missing the mark. It’s falling short in some way but it also implies that you have another chance to hit the target.

Your struggle with porn addiction effects, sex, and masturbation doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Your compulsive behavior doesn’t make you a terrible person. Missing the mark doesn’t mean you’ll be a failure forever. It doesn’t mean you can’t change. All it means is that you make mistakes just like every other person in the world. That’s just part of being human.

I understand that Christianity frames the way you view the world. I know that reframing your idea of sin may feel like a challenge to your beliefs. But all I’m suggesting is that you’re no less worthy of love than anyone else because of your out-of-control behavior. You may have missed the mark but now you have the opportunity to take another shot.

The idea that you’re inherently flawed and not worthy of love will hold you back until you challenge it. It’ll keep you from moving forward and finding success in your reboot.  But once you accept that you can maintain your Christian beliefs while also recognizing some of the burdens that your beliefs placed on you, you’ll step closer to freedom from your behavior. 

You’ll find nothing in the porn addiction recovery program that runs contrary to your beliefs; in fact, you’ll likely find yourself capable of building a deeper connection with God once you clear away your out-of-control behavior. Once you overcome this roadblock, your path to a porn-free life and a stronger faith becomes clearer than ever before.

If you’re struggling to balance your Christian beliefs with your reboot, come join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. We have plenty of brothers who are both working through and have overcome their battles with self-loathing brought about by their Christian upbringing. You’ll find plenty of understanding and support to keep you from feeling like you have to struggle alone!

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Your Porn Addiction and Self-Esteem

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Your Porn Addiction and Self-Esteem

High self-esteem is a vital part of a successful reboot, but men typically aren’t feeling esteem able when they first become a member of the Porn Reboot system.

Porn addiction problems cause a serious lack of self-esteem. Today I want to help you understand the importance of self-esteem and its role in the Porn Reboot process. 

I often speak about self-esteem here on the blog, in videos on our YouTube channel, and during podcasts. As men who struggle with a compulsive problem with porn, sex, or masturbation, our self-esteem tends to be low when we decide to quit. We hate ourselves, we’re filled with guilt and shame, we believe we’re weak, and we tell ourselves that we’re pathetic.

Unless you rebuild your self-esteem, you’ll always find yourself struggling to maintain your reboot. You’ll never see yourself as a man who can live free of your compulsive sexual behavior if you don’t address your self-image. What can you do to work on your troubles with self-esteem?

The Basics of Self-Esteem

First, you must understand what self-esteem is. Self-esteem is basically the way you feel about yourself. It’s based on your self-image and how you view yourself. For example, if you see yourself as a pathetic, porn-addicted man who can’t overcome his behavior, it contributes to a low sense of self-esteem.

However, if you recognize that everyone makes mistakes, that you have the power to overcome them, and that you’re working to become a better man, this gives you a stronger sense of self-esteem. Additionally, your self-esteem consists of a few different aspects: identity, competence, and self-confidence.

Identity

Human beings naturally feel the desire to belong to something. Your identity is made up of two parts: your identity within a group and your identity within yourself. At a group level, your identity is defined by the people you surround yourself with. This includes your family, friends, colleagues, and community. At the individual level, identity involves all of your characteristics, both positive and negative. To improve your self-esteem, you must accept yourself as you are or work to change the aspects that hold you back.

Competence

Competence means trusting your abilities to do or not do something. It involves an understanding of your capabilities, limitations, and desire to learn new things. You won’t feel very great if you don’t believe that you’re capable of anything. On the other hand, if you believe in your abilities then you’ll have a deeper sense of self-esteem.

Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the primary fuel for your self-esteem. Your sense of security, both personally and with those around you, contributes to how you feel about yourself. Confident men also have high self-esteem. Building up your self-esteem relies primarily on building up your self-confidence.

Self-Esteem in Extremes

Not all self-esteem is equal. You should strive for balance rather than leaning too heavily to one side or another. Going to extremes on either end, whether you have too much or too little self-esteem, isn’t a healthy place to be.

For example, some men have very high self-esteem but don’t realize that it isn’t grounded in anything. They have an overly-inflated sense of self that exists solely within their perception. They lack concrete evidence to feel as confident as they do. They may believe they’re strong, wonderful, capable people but don’t truly have a reason to.

Then you have men with very low self-esteem who tend to tear themselves down every chance they get. These men also carry a similarly unrealistic view of themselves but are at the other end of the spectrum. They believe they can’t do anything right no matter what they try and are vocal about their negative self-image.

Healthy Self-Esteem

A place of healthy self-esteem exists somewhere in the middle. You don’t want too much or too little self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem means you are grounded in your sense of self. You know exactly who you are, where you want to be, and what you want to do. 

It empowers you to make better choices in every area of your life. It informs the direction you need to take so that you can arrive at your intended destination efficiently and enjoyably. You learn to make smarter decisions about who you spend your time with and which activities you participate in. When you operate from a place of healthy self-esteem, you naturally surround yourself with people who understand you and do things you enjoy doing.

Healthy self-esteem is also important because you’re more willing to try new things, meet challenges, address your insecurities, and face your fears. It increases your sense of resilience so that judgment or rejection from others does not concern you.

As you work on your porn addiction problems, your sense of self-esteem will grow. The Porn Reboot program is a porn addiction recovery method that is designed to help you rebuild your self-image, gain self-confidence, and create a life worth living that keeps you from returning to your compulsive behaviors. 

 

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Overcoming the Alarming Porn Addiction Effects

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Overcoming the Alarming Porn Addiction Effects

You read that right – kids and adults.

You have to consider all ages when considering porn addiction effects. It’s horrifying to think that kids have seen pornographic images and videos, but that is the reality for millions of young people. Statistics show that 1 in 10 children under the age of 10 has been exposed to pornography. Further, 93% of boys and 62% of girls have viewed internet porn before the age of 18.

Exposure to pornography during adolescence can cause a range of difficulties, including porn addiction. And oftentimes the porn addiction effects experienced in adulthood are the result of viewing pornography during formative adolescent years. The effects of porn addiction can cause lasting damage to a person’s relationship, career, and more.

What are some porn addiction effects? How do porn addiction problems develop? When you struggle with pornography addiction, is there hope? Thankfully, learning more about the effects of porn addiction is the first step toward finding help.

How Porn Addiction Develops

Porn used to be difficult to come by, especially for young people. You had to purchase a magazine or rent a video from an adult store but that was about as far as your options went. With the advent of the internet, though, pornography became easier to access. As internet speeds increased, so did access to an ever-expanding library of porn.

Porn addiction problems don’t develop overnight, though. Most people don’t find themselves hooked the first time they open up a browser tab. Instead, it’s something that sets in over time. What starts as an innocent way to get off can eventually become a bigger problem than you realize.

For example, some young men begin viewing pornography around the time puberty starts. It serves as a way to learn about sex in the privacy of their bedroom. However, while porn never becomes a problem for some, it becomes a go-to dopamine release and coping mechanism for others. It’s an on-demand way to feel good. Learning this at a young age and relying on it to cope with challenging emotions creates long-term porn addiction effects.

Porn Addiction Effects

Porn addiction affects all types of men from all walks of life. Young or old, rich or poor. It doesn’t care about your location, your career, or your family; it seeks to destroy you just the same. Porn addiction effects can range from mild to severe and depend on a wide range of factors. For example, a 17-year-old will not experience the same effects as a 52-year-old business executive. 

However, one of the most common porn addiction effects are the overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt. It’s hard for men to believe they could ever find themselves struggling with a porn addiction problem. And as porn use progresses, these feelings intensify. This is especially true for men who prefer extreme or even illegal genres. 

There are many more effects of porn addiction. Some men blow massive business opportunities or ruin their careers. Others destroy their marriages or harm their relationships with their children. Plenty of men sacrifice their financial stability, standing in their community, self-esteem, and more because of the effects of porn addiction.

Pornography Addiction: Is There Hope?

Considering the wide range of detrimental effects of pornography addiction, it’s difficult to see how there can be hope. If you’ve tried quitting porn for years and been unsuccessful, you may feel tempted to believe that you’ll never get over the problem. Porn addiction is an isolating and complicated condition, one that many doctors and psychologists still don’t completely understand.

Thankfully, there are some solutions once you start to notice pornography addiction symptoms. Porn doesn’t have to be the end of the road. You have various options available if you want to stop viewing porn or dealing with other compulsive sexual behaviors. These include things like porn addiction counseling, porn addiction recovery, and the Porn Reboot system.

Porn Addiction Counseling

Porn addiction counseling is an option offered by some traditional counselors and therapists. However, not all of these professionals understand the intricacies of out-of-control sexual behavior. They may offer some conflicting guidance or even suggest that porn addiction is not a “real” problem. Take caution when seeking porn addiction counseling to ensure you find a provider that recognizes the porn addiction problems.

Porn Addiction Recovery

Porn addiction recovery through groups like 12-step programs is another option for treating porn addiction. They outline a path to recovery from porn addiction to keep you porn-free for the rest of your life. Some people find this approach beneficial and enjoy the community they find among porn addiction recovery groups.

Porn Reboot System

The Porn Reboot system is a proprietary approach to porn addiction recovery. It is a method tried and tested by hundreds of men over the last decade. Instead of using traditional therapeutic methods, the Porn Reboot system details a path to rebuild your life without needing to rely on porn to get by.

However, Porn Reboot is about more than quitting porn. It’s about building a life where porn addiction problems are no longer an issue. You won’t need to count days or spend your life in meetings. Instead, you’ll develop and enrich the areas of your life that your porn use held you back from. From your physical to spiritual to social well-being and beyond, Porn Reboot equips you with a solution that runs much deeper than porn addiction effects.

References

  1. NetNanny. (2017). The Detrimental Effects of Pornography on Small Children.
  2. The Family & Youth Institute. (2016). Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know.

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How to Stop Feeling Bad About Relapses

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How to Stop Feeling Bad About Relapses

Relapse is a common concern for men when they begin their reboot.

Most come from past programs with abstinence-only approaches that make you feel like you’ve failed if you have a slip. I see it differently, though. When you’re learning how to stop porn addiction, relapses are part of the process. 

If you’re like the majority of men early in the Porn Reboot system, you likely attach a lot of emotion to relapses. You feel a lot of guilt and shame if you start watching porn again, even if only for an evening. You might find yourself trapped in a negative thought spiral that keeps you stuck for longer than you should be.

I prefer men in the Porn Reboot program to remove all emotion from the relapse experience. You don’t need to assign big feelings to it when it happens; simply recognize that you made a mistake and determine how you can best avoid it moving forward. In this way, I like to see the process of viewing slips as data. This makes it easier to get back on track instead of digging yourself into a hole.

Men who are prone to feeling big emotions after a relapse will struggle with this at first. Learning to detach emotions from slips feels like a huge challenge. But when you start to rationally view slips as data, it becomes easier to not feel guilt, shame, or anger because you’re busy processing the experience.

For example, when you experience a slip you can immediately dissect what happened. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep because you stayed up too late watching YouTube videos on your phone. You watched the videos because you felt frustrated that work took longer to complete than usual and you wanted to feel a bit of relief from that stress. 

This gives you multiple points to adjust so that you don’t have to slip in this same manner again. If you finished your work in time, you wouldn’t have felt as stressed or frustrated. If you recognized that sometimes you’re going to have bad days at work, you might not have sought relief from YouTube videos. If you still needed some time to de-stress, you could have achieved it by reading a book or meditating for a few minutes instead.

Breaking down your relapse in this way makes it almost impossible to feel bad about it. Sure, the goal of the Porn Reboot program is to eliminate your out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But expecting it to go away immediately is only a recipe for disaster. Assigning big emotions to something that’s almost guaranteed sets you up for failure, too.

Viewing slips as data is a far more efficient approach to your reboot. If you haven’t already, I recommend practicing it as you learn how to stop porn addiction. You’ll become more effective not only at avoiding slips, but you can apply this reasoning to other troublesome areas of your life. You don’t need to feel bad about relapses when they simply offer you more information on how to avoid them in the future!

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Are You Scared to Ask For Sex?

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Are You Scared to Ask For Sex?

Sometimes brothers in the Porn Reboot program ask about masturbating in moderation. Maybe they just got out of a relationship or are going through a divorce. They might be traveling or neck-deep in projects for work and have very little free time. These men want to know if it’s possible to start masturbating again as long as it’s in moderation.

After working with men to end their out-of-control behavior for over a decade, I know what that question usually means. Is this a form of porn addiction effect ? On the surface, it’s about masturbation, but if you look below the facade it’s often a way to avoid facing rejection. Men who want to masturbate in moderation are more often than not using it as a way to keep from being vulnerable and rejected.

Vulnerability puts you at risk for emotional or physical pain. Your ability to step past the fear and be vulnerable in the face of pain is courage. Courage is a very masculine and attractive trait, and it’s something you’ll develop as you work through the reboot process. You’ll learn to identify emotions and become more comfortable with being vulnerable.

This doesn’t mean you’ll spill your emotions to a woman to seek validation. Vulnerability does not mean groveling before a woman in search of attention. It simply means you’ll be able to express your wants and needs without any extreme attachment to the outcome. 

Achieving sexual intimacy requires at least some level of vulnerability. You put yourself at risk of rejection whenever you make a move with a woman. This might be initiating sex with your spouse after a busy week or going in for the kiss with the woman sitting on your couch after a second date.

Ultimately, it’s your responsibility as the man to take the risk. The more you take these vulnerable risks, the more competence you gain. Over time you start to develop what I call “killer instinct,” or the knowledge of when it’s time to make a move and when it’s time to hold back. But that doesn’t come without a few mistakes and rejections along the way.

You might be scared to ask for sex, brother, and that’s okay. It’s nerve-wracking at first, especially when you’re just starting to put yourself out there again. The more you try it, though, the more comfortable you become. 

As you gain confidence through the Porn Reboot system our exclusive porn addiction recovery system, you’ll realize there are plenty of other women with whom you build relationships. After a while, it won’t feel like a big deal when a woman rejects you. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you, it simply means she isn’t interested and you can move on to the next.

Are You Scared to Ask For Sex? Read More »

Wealth Won’t Save You From Porn Addiction

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Wealth Won’t Save You From Porn Addiction

Too many men come to the Porn Reboot program thinking their outside circumstances will save them from their porn addiction effects. This is especially true for men who meet the traditional definition of success. They’re doing well in their career. Their kids are well-behaved. They have a good relationship with their spouse, save for some strain caused by their out-of-control behavior. They’re doing well financially and have anything they could possibly want, but they still can’t seem to end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

Does this sound like you?

It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that your “successful” exterior will somehow change your internal circumstances. Unfortunately, that’s not how this works. I know plenty of guys at the top of their fields in business, athletics, and even Hollywood who can’t control their compulsive sexual behavior. They’re successful by all standards yet still unhappy with where they are because they can’t overcome their porn addiction.

What these men fail to realize, and what you might be coming to terms with right now, is that the necessary transformation doesn’t come from your external achievements. It’s not found in the operations of your business. It doesn’t result from diversifying your product line. It has nothing to do with your finances, dropping expenses, or increasing cash flow. 

Other times guys believe they can find their solution through a breathwork retreat, ayahuasca ceremony, or even a Tony Robbins seminar. They come back feeling like a changed man. They feel focused, recentered, and ready to take on the world. They might even have some temporary success in their career that gets them to the next level, but this is only a short-term fix. The excitement of the experience wears off and it doesn’t take long until they’re on a bigger bust than before.

The change you need to overcome porn addiction only happens internally. You can be the wealthiest man in the world, but it won’t give you the tools you need to end your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Your income and assets have no bearing on the internal work you must do. Financial success and quick fixes aren’t the way to a lasting solution. Wealth won’t save you from your porn addiction. You must build a strong foundation if you hope to achieve long-term freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. 

If you choose to push through and continue building the outside without working on the inside, your sense of isolation and shame will continue to grow. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “It’s lonely at the top,” right? There’s some truth to that, brother. The further you progress in your business or career, the fewer people will understand the stresses you face every day. As your world becomes increasingly complex, you’ll find yourself feeling more and more alone.

How do you protect what you’ve built? How do you avoid being overtaxed? How do you deal with certain situations? How do you trust somebody with high-level decisions? How do you hire a CFO? Do you trust your operator? How can you find a property manager when you have 60 out-of-state units? 

The more you grow in life, the greater your problems become. If you don’t have the internal resources to handle the pressure at this level, you’ll find yourself failing time and time again. Sure, you may last a few days, weeks, or even months, but ultimately you’re still trapped in the same porn addiction cycle.

Wouldn’t you rather escape it once and for all, brother? Isn’t a lasting solution to your struggles far more important than building an empire? And I’m here to tell you that your chances of building an empire are far greater once you have your behavior under control, anyways.

We see it all the time. Brothers join the program with plenty of money but a little bit too late. They came to Porn Reboot once their wife divorced them for their out-of-control behavior. She takes them to court and within a few months they’ve lost all their possessions, their wife takes their kids, they lose their house, and they have nothing left.

What then? Who are you once your wealth is stripped away? Your home? Your family? Your career? Can you still stay porn-free when everything you’ve built comes crashing down around you?

That’s what we’re doing here, brother. That’s why I stress the importance of building a foundation. It doesn’t matter what you build up externally when your internal well-being is still dictated by high-speed internet porn and jerking off all night long. 

We’re here to help you build that foundation. It doesn’t matter whether you’re flat broke or a multimillionaire: the solution is the same. The answer to your porn addiction lies on the inside, not the outside. That means no matter who you are, where you came from, or what you’ve done, overcoming your out-of-control behavior is still possible. But you MUST let go of this idea that wealth should come before your reboot. Because so long as you maintain that mindset, brother, you’ll continue to flail and fail.

What will your choice be?

Wealth Won’t Save You From Porn Addiction Read More »

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