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Risky Emotions While Rebooting

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Risky Emotions While Rebooting

I’ve got another question from a brother in our group today. He says:

“Hey brothers, I have to stay accountable and report to you. I’ve had multiple slips over the past two days, twice yesterday and once today. It started when I was tired from the gym and came home to no one else in the house. I now recognize that isolation and tiredness were two major vulnerabilities.

“I looked at some images first but it quickly progressed into watching pornography. Then this morning I laid around in bed for a while and ended up looking at images on my phone again. It didn’t take long for me to open up a few tabs of porn again.

“This has happened so many times, easily hundreds. It has left me feeling off and scared, scared that I’m not going to be successful and that I’ll spend the rest of my life a complete mess. I know it’s down to me to change it but what if I don’t have it in me?”

I always appreciate it when a brother comes to us and shares where he is at. Growth only comes when we’re willing to ask for help. I know that at face value this might sound like a great share. It seems like it’s full of authenticity and accountability. However, there are some things in here to be wary of.

First, he ends his post by saying he feels off and scared because it’s something that’s happened “hundreds” of times. He feels his life is a “complete mess.” These statements are full of heavily charged emotions.

He also explains he had multiple slips within 24 hours. Here’s the thing, though. If you slip up repeatedly in a day then you’re now in a relapse, not just a slip. He should just say that he relapsed and leave it at that. A relapse isn’t much worse than a slip; you still get the same result.

Second, he did a great job of identifying his mistakes but he did nothing to change the situation. It’s great to recognize where you’re going wrong but recognition does nothing if you don’t take action to change it. Recognition is the first step but action is where the true change occurs. He needs to take this awareness going forward and apply action next time temptation arises.

Third, there are quite a few issues he could have addressed to keep himself less vulnerable. He mentions feeling tired which arises from a problem with self-care. He also says he was looking at his phone which could have been avoided if he kept his phone out of his room. And he also said he came home to an empty house so he could have reached out to someone because he knew he was in a risky place.

All of these things are valid porn addiction problems during your early reboot. If you don’t have much experience applying the reboot system to your life, they’re likely to arise at some point. The system outlines clear actions to take which can help you avoid these things but many of them are inevitable in the beginning.

Learning from other brothers in the group is a great way to recognize areas where you may eventually fall short or need some help. Take his view of his life as a complete mess, for example. How many times have you thought the same thing? How often have you felt like you’re never going to control your behavior?

Most of these experiences are common for all of us. They’re things we struggle with at various points during our reboot. But they don’t have to be things that take us down for the long run. Every man who arrives with porn addiction problems at the Porn Reboot program has a chance to change his life. None of us are hopeless or beyond recall. We all have the opportunity to become better men.

These emotionally-charged statements will hold you back from recognizing your ability to change, though. If you cannot take control of your emotions you’ll find they will drive your decisions over and over again. The sooner you learn to control your emotions the better. And implementing the Pornography Addiction Counseling which is the Porn Reboot into your life is the best place to start.

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Conservative Reboot Dating: Balancing Values and Experiences

Porn Addiction Counseling / By Automation Agency Concierge

Conservative Reboot Dating: Balancing Values and Experiences

I’ve got another question from a brother today that addresses his concerns about his conservative views on casual dating. He asks:

“I’ve had a dialogue in my head for quite some time about the approach I should take to dating. I grew up in a very conservative family in a very conservative area. I have carried the value of only needing one woman for the rest of my life.

“However, recently I’ve considered the idea of dating casually without any intent for a long-term commitment. I feel a lot of resistance to this, though, and oftentimes sabotage opportunities with women I’m interested in. Am I wrong for only having gone out on a couple of dates with one person in his life? Is it wrong to have this sort of value?”

If you’ve been around the our Porn Addiction Counseling program for a while, you know that I recommend dating casually when you’re early in your reboot. I support you talking with and dating multiple women at a time because the primary goal is learning to enjoy interacting with women without expectations.

Dating multiple women at a time makes you less likely to be overly engaged, needy, and dependent while casually dating. You don’t see the woman you’re with as your only option which keeps you from feeling and behaving desperately.

However, if you hold a conservative view of dating you may struggle with seeing more than one woman at once. Some conservative segments of society frown upon the practice. Even if you aren’t ready to settle down, the idea that you would see multiple women isn’t an acceptable approach to the dating process.

I believe this is an antiquated concept. Dating in the Western world has changed a ton over the last few decades. Most people see nothing wrong with casually dating multiple people. It’s almost assumed that you’re seeing more than one person at once until exclusivity or commitment is explicitly mentioned.

Casual dating allows you to interact with and enjoy the company of other women. You’ve spent so many years isolating yourself from the world and lost touch with the skills necessary to build a relationship. If you only date one woman at a time, you hold yourself back from engaging with as many of them as possible. Why put yourself at a disadvantage there?

You should also consider that the way society views sex is much different than it used to be. Things are far more sexualized today than they ever were before. I was watching a show on HBO Max the other day and saw more penises at once than I ever had in my life. Everything is sexual nowadays.

Casual sex is also much more common. Both men and women are more likely to have more sexual partners before settling down than our predecessors did. Most of the women you date have likely sex with at least one or two people before. The majority of people are no longer “waiting ‘til marriage” like we were told to do when we were young.

Unfortunately, I see many of our conservative brothers rushing into marriage for the sole purpose of having sex. If your only focus is sex, brother, you’re going to have a miserable marriage. It won’t take long for men who hurry into these lifelong commitments based on the expectation regular sex to realize they made an incredible mistake.

Dating shouldn’t automatically equate to marriage just like dating shouldn’t automatically equate to sex. I support casual dating without the expectation of either prospect. You’ve spent the entirety of your porn addiction learning to objectify women, whether you realize it or not. Porn addiction problems strips all intimacy from the equation and destroys your ability to have healthy interactions with women. Casual dating is the first step to learning how to engage with women without objectifying them.

I’m not recommending you abandon your values, brother. You’ll find no one more supportive than me when it comes to adhering to your values. But I want to challenge you to reframe your beliefs about dating. Dating multiple women casually doesn’t have to mean rejecting your values. It’s simply a way to relearn how to interact with them without unrealistic expectations.

I do want to point out, though, that not everyone adheres to the same values as you. There’s nothing wrong with holding to your conservative values, but expecting the women you date to hold them as well is likely to set you up for frustration and disappointment. I’m not saying that every woman lacks these values but far fewer are sticking to them than they were before.

I also want to mention that if you’re dating for the sole purpose of getting married, I think you should pump the brakes a bit. Your brain is still rewiring and you don’t want to make a lifelong commitment without fully thinking it through.

If you aren’t already married then you have no reason to rush into things. It’s better to take your time and get to know some different women at a deeper level than what they have to offer physically. There is plenty of time in your life for marriage, brother, but right now is likely not the time. You don’t want to find yourself regretting your decision in the future.

Instead, focus on asking yourself whether casual dating truly goes against your conservative values. Do they need to be mutually exclusive or can you find a balance between the two? I firmly believe that you can have both, but it’s up to you to decide what is best for you.

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3 Things More Important Than Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

3 Things More Important Than Quitting Porn

This might come as a surprise to you but quitting porn isn’t the most important thing you can do.

I know that it might sound strange coming from a man who built his life around helping other men end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. But there are some other things you must consider when quitting porn, too.

I don’t emphasize those things immediately because most brothers arrive at the Porn Reboot program with skewed priorities. They believe that their porn use and compulsive sexual behavior are what causes all of their problems. Sure, these things are likely the primary problems in a man’s life when he finds Porn Reboot. But overcoming these problems requires more than just focusing on his behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation.

The three things more important than quitting porn are finances, fitness, and your relationships with women. You can eliminate porn addiction problems from your life but if you don’t address these three things then you’ll still find yourself struggling. Quitting porn doesn’t rewire your brain. Working on these three aspects of life is what kicks off and continues the reboot process.

How does each of these aspects play into your reboot?

Finances

I’m sure you know the timeless phrase, “Money can’t buy happiness.” While there’s some truth to that statement, there’s also a lot of nonsense about it. Money can’t buy happiness but you do need it to have a life that’s worth living. You can’t shuck off money completely and pretend like it has no use.

You need enough money to cover your basic needs and also enough surplus to get some of the things you want. Money is the thing that allows you freedom. It gets you out of situations and circumstances you may have grown up in, or those you found yourself in after years of porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

Regardless of the reasons, getting your finances in order must be a priority. You need money to build a life worth living after ending your out-of-control behavior. From bills to food to hobbies to dates, money is a necessity for a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Fitness

Your health and fitness are another crucial part of a fulfilling reboot. You can take control of your fitness long before gaining control over your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Getting in shape is an automatic way to boost your confidence and begin building self-esteem.

Fitness was the first thing I prioritized when I decided to take the steps to end my out-of-control behavior once and for all. I was six feet tall but weighed maybe 130 pounds at most. I looked pathetic and that was reflected in the way I carried myself. Lifting weights was the first thing I did to begin my reboot process.

I put on some significant size within that first year and have continued prioritizing the gym ever since. The impact on my confidence was immediate and only grew with time. I highly recommend prioritizing your health and fitness as you begin the reboot process. The effects are noticeable even if you continue struggling with your compulsive sexual behavior.

Relationships with Women

Your relationships with women are the third thing that is just as important, if not more important, than quitting porn. Porn addiction problem destroys your ability to connect with a woman, build a fulfilling relationship, and develop intimacy. It makes you view women as objects instead of actual people.

While struggling with your porn use will hold you back from building these relationships, you can still begin the process. Learning to develop these relationships starts with learning to be social again. You’ve likely withdrawn from friends and social events in general over the years. You need to spend time with your buddies and get back out into the world.

Start striking up conversations with women when you’re out with your friends. Try to detach from the inevitable end goal of getting with her and just try to hold a conversation. Ask her questions, ask more questions about her answers, and see how long you can talk with her. All it takes to build relationships is learning to listen and have a conversation instead of talking at people without waiting for their input.

Quitting Porn Over Time

Ultimately, quitting porn is the goal you want to remember. Finances, fitness, and building relationships with women are all important parts of the process. However, if you don’t end your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, not much of it will be useful in the long run.

However, the less you focus only on quitting porn, and the more you focus on these other aspects, the more successful you will be. You’ll find yourself building a life worth living, one that doesn’t require you to retreat into a world of compulsive masturbation and porn use.

The Porn Reboot system is crucial for helping you develop the necessary tools and skills. Over time, you’ll build a foundation for lasting porn addiction recovery from your out-of-control behavior. If you commit to the Porn Reboot process today, I guarantee your life will be unrecognizable in two years. You have everything it takes to end your behavior, brother; all you need to do is take that first step.

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Defeating Apathy While Quitting Porn

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

Defeating Apathy While Quitting Porn

I’ve had countless brothers in the group who insist on counting days.

Anyone who has been around the Porn Reboot program for a while knows how I feel about counting days. Still, some men hold onto their streaks as though they’re a helpful or meaningful approach to overcoming out-of-control behavior.

After nearly 15 years of working with men trying to end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation, though, I know this tactic doesn’t work. Counting days only builds expectations and apathy. Expectations for what your life “should” look like after a certain point and apathy when that time arrives and it doesn’t look that way at all. Counting days is an arbitrary marker that offers no meaningful insight into progress.

Consider a couple that has been married for 40 years. Sure, from the outside looking in it may seem like they have all the answers. After all, they’ve stayed together this long, right? But what if their marriage isn’t a happy one? They may have amassed a few decades alongside one another but that doesn’t mean their marriage is successful.

Or take a man with a 20-year career making six figures per year. You would assume that after all this time he has an incredible savings account, a hefty investment portfolio, and can retire comfortably. However, if he’s done nothing to be intentional with his money, he’ll be far worse off than you might think. Many men with decades of six-figure incomes have nothing to show for them.

The same applies to counting porn-free days. You can collect days, weeks, months, or years, but they’re worthless if you do nothing to better yourself. There’s a reason the Porn Reboot system is more intensive than other approaches; we provide you with a path to a fulfilling life.

You’ll gain nothing from quitting porn without taking any steps to better yourself in other areas. Quitting porn does not automatically bolster your social life, broaden your career opportunities, or strengthen your relationships. All it does is provide you with more free time that was once occupied by countless tabs and endless videos.

What will you do with all of that time?

Defeating apathy while quitting porn requires intention. You can’t stop porn addiction problems and expect your life to get better without putting in any work. Counting days does nothing to bring about change. You have to put in the work to shift your perspective and build the life you want to live.

This intentional approach is one of the first steps to overcoming the sense of apathy that settles in after you quit porn. And it doesn’t happen immediately. You can’t expect to join the Porn Reboot program and notice a difference by next Wednesday. You have to commit to the process and trust that you’ll find freedom, much like other men who have come before you.

It may seem impossible to escape your sense of apathy but I promise there’s a solution. It might take time to relinquish your old thought patterns and embrace this new way of thinking, but the time it takes will be worth it. You’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish in only a few short months of intentional practice. And if you’re going to quit porn anyways, why not do it in a way that offers the most promising outcome?

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Clarifying Masculine Traits: Embracing True Strength

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

Clarifying Masculine Traits: Embracing True Strength

I believe there are many misconceptions surrounding the concept of masculinity today.

Articles about dark masculinity or toxic masculinity have made their way into thousands of publications. I think this has created a ton of misunderstanding of what true masculinity is.

I’m not saying that there are no harmful men. There are plenty of toxic individual men, but that doesn’t make masculinity toxic as a whole. Men who didn’t have strong male figures in their lives and no one was there to help them control and channel their energy. This lack of guidance led these men to hurt and harm others, creating the idea that all masculinity is toxic.

But masculinity in and of itself is not a negative thing. Many positive things have come from strong masculine traits. I want to outline some of these traits, so even if you lack a positive male figure in your life, you can begin cultivating and strengthening these traits.

Courage

Courage is the baseline of every masculine man. It means doing something despite your fear. Courage is what led to colonization, civilization, and triumph over evil. It’s a necessary trait because you need to take action even when you’re fearful. You can’t allow your fears to hold you back from doing what’s right and pursuing the life you want to lead.

Strength

Strength is a crucial masculine trait that you must embody. This includes physical strength, emotional strength, and psychological strength. You must be able to defend yourself and your loved ones. You must be able to maintain an even emotional keel when you feel stressed, frustrated, or annoyed. And you must be able to persevere through tough times.

Independence

Independence of thought and action are important masculine traits to embrace. Men should have the confidence to think and act for themselves. You shouldn’t allow others to sway you from your beliefs. That doesn’t mean you should act in an echo chamber and disregard constructive criticism. But it does mean that you shouldn’t let others do your thinking for you.

Leadership

Leadership is another vital masculine trait. However, too many men have an incorrect idea of what leadership means. Being a leader doesn’t mean controlling other people. It means guiding others by example and commanding respect as a result. And even if you aren’t a naturally born leader, it is something you can learn to become over time.

Consistency

Consistency is the final trait I want to emphasize today. Anyone can express courage, strength, independence, and leadership occasionally. True masculinity requires consistency. The more you practice these traits, the more you’ll embody them over time. Men who are consistently courageous, strong, independent leaders are necessary for a successful society. No one can stop you once you learn to be consistent with your actions.

Embracing Masculinity

Your masculinity is an inherent part of who you are, not something to be stifled or rejected. But embracing a healthy balance of masculine traits can feel challenging at first. This is especially true if you’re a man who didn’t have a strong male role model growing up. But it’s an important part of the reboot process.

As you move through the Porn Addiction Counseling, you have plenty of opportunities to work on these masculine traits. They all add up to a successful porn addiction recovery. If embracing masculinity is new to you, I recommend picking up a copy of The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It’s a fantastic work that outlines the importance of masculinity and why we need strong men in the world. There’s nothing toxic about masculinity, brother; it’s what you do with those traits that determines who you are.

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When Should You Seek Porn Addiction Counseling?

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

When Should You Seek Porn Addiction Counseling?

What do you think of when you think of getting help for mental health problems?

If you answered counseling, you’re like the majority of people throughout the country.

Counseling is the go-to solution for a wide range of mental health struggles. From depression and anxiety to bipolar disorder and substance use disorder, counseling is a primary form of treatment. Working through problems in a safe environment where you can express your deepest thoughts is a crucial part of healing.

It would make sense to think that porn addiction counseling is a go-to method for overcoming compulsive problems with porn and masturbation too, right? While many people seek the help of counselors, therapists, and psychologists for their porn addiction, I don’t fully agree with the practice.

Look through any medical journal and you’ll still find a plethora of conflicting opinions on the “validity” of porn addiction. Some clinicians suggest that pornography addiction isn’t really an addiction at all. They propose various other explanations for this type of compulsive behavior.

Some people who seek porn addiction counseling receive a much different service than they anticipated. I find that too many therapists dig too deep into underlying causes while neglecting to put enough focus on porn itself. How does counseling for pornography addiction typically work for people struggling to control their porn use?

Porn Addiction and Mental Health Treatment

Mental health treatment still seems to have mixed views and beliefs about pornography addiction. For example, the World Health Organization confirmed compulsive sexual behavior as a mental disorder in 2019.1 Although they did not specify porn addiction as a diagnosis, they do refer to repetitive sexual behaviors.

However, the American Psychiatric Association continues to reject compulsive sexual behavior as a diagnosable condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).2 The DSM is the psychologist’s version of the Bible, yet it still does not recognize porn addiction, or general compulsive sexual behavior, as a “real” problem.

Should You Seek Porn Addiction Counseling?

The same confusion and mixed beliefs are rampant in the counseling community. Many brothers who are part of the Porn Reboot program initially sought a solution from therapists and counselors. They believed that a counselor could help them with their problem, and understandably so.

However, porn addiction counseling often turns out to not be the same helpful solution it should be. Counselors dig into root causes and often derail men from receiving an actionable solution. This is especially important for men struggling with illegal or harmful genres of porn or compulsive sexual behaviors.

During the years of working with men to help them overcome their compulsive sexual behavior, I’ve found that immediate action is often necessary. The root causes and deep-seated issues can be handled at a later date; their porn addiction and the fallout it’s creating is the most pressing issue in the beginning.

Porn Addiction Counseling Alternatives

As clinicians continue disagreeing on the truth of porn addiction, it holds people back from the help they desperately need. Thankfully, there are some alternatives to porn addiction counseling that seem to be more effective.

One option is porn addiction recovery groups, such as 12-step groups. These programs outline a path of recovery from porn addiction, as well as other substance and behavioral addictions. While they are not my preferred method for overcoming porn addiction, they do help thousands of people every year.

Online communities are another form of finding support when trying to overcome porn addiction. Oftentimes these groups are filled with people using methods like NoFap or semen retention. These forced abstinence approaches are somewhat closer to a more effective approach, but I still find they miss the mark in providing actionable help for lasting results.

Porn Reboot vs. Porn Addiction Counseling

The Porn Reboot program is the only thing that has helped me in my journey to end my out-of-control behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Porn addiction counseling and therapy weren’t helpful. NoFap proved unsuccessful. I tried the willpower method, too, and failed every time.

I developed the Porn Reboot system through my own experiences by trial and error. I assessed what worked and what didn’t, and developed a system from it. I realized that all efforts to control my porn addiction problems through willpower were of no use. I needed to work with my body instead of against it.

This led to the Porn Reboot system that’s used today by thousands of men. It has helped men end their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. It has equipped them with the tools to rebuild the lives that porn addiction stole from them. It has enabled them to develop strong relationships, perform in exceptional careers, and become standup members of their communities.

The Porn Reboot system can help you, too. If you’re wondering whether porn addiction counseling is for you, I invite you to join us in the free Porn Reboot Facebook group. Find out what we’re about and see whether our approach may work for you, too. We’ll ensure you never need to struggle alone again, brother; we’ll be here every step of the way.

References

National Center on Sexual Exploitation. (2019). World Health Organization Confirms Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder to be in ICD-11.
Addiction. (2016). Diagnosis of hypersexual or compulsive sexual behavior can be made using ICD-10 and DSM-5 despite rejection of this diagnosis by the American Psychiatric Association.

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Positive Aspects of Porn Addiction

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

Positive Aspects of Porn Addiction

I know that probably sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Positive aspects of porn addiction? How could something so detrimental to your life and the lives of your loved ones have anything positive to it? What could possibly be a benefit of porn addiction?

It’s not difficult to understand why porn addiction is a bad thing. I’m guessing you didn’t arrive at this channel because your life was going great. It doesn’t matter whether you’re addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, or pornography; addiction in any form is detrimental to your wellbeing.

Porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior have the power to destroy your life. They deteriorate your mind, shatter your relationships, break down your career, and more. You don’t have to look very far to see the negative effects of pornography. The same goes for any other addiction you may struggle with.

However, you can’t overcome porn addiction by only looking at the negative aspects. You must also recognize the positive aspects of porn addiction. I know this might sound a little nuts, especially coming from a guy who dedicated his life to helping men end their compulsive behavior with pornography. But stick with me for a bit.

Most men who struggle with porn usually started watching it when they were younger. By the time they reach their teenage years it’s a fully-established problem. That was my personal experience, too. I was first exposed to pornography when I was eight, and I was a full-blown porn addict by the time I was 13.

Although I don’t recommend that young men begin watching porn, I now see the positive aspects that porn had when I was young. There were some beneficial parts of my porn use, despite the long-term destruction it caused.

Porn became my go-to coping strategy for dealing with the difficult emotions of being a teenager. It helped me handle stress and provided me with comfort when things felt out of control. Porn also taught me about sex and helped me understand what it was. It allowed me to learn about myself sexually during those formative adolescent years.

After I crossed a certain point, though, I wore out the positives of my porn use. While it was useful to a certain extent, it wasn’t helpful in the long run. From then on my porn use became more and more habitual, harmful, and destructive.

When you only view porn as a horrible, awful, negative thing, it further instills feelings of guilt and shame that keep you trapped in the porn addiction effect cycle. You can’t force yourself to overcome your behavior by fighting it with willpower. Your brain doesn’t work that way.

Instead, recognizing the positive parts of your porn use and realizing why you started using it in the first place will help you. You’ll see that while it started innocently enough, it grew to become something much more detrimental than you ever intended it to be.

You’re not a bad person because of your out-of-control behavior, but you do need to take responsibility for it and make a change. Take this reframed understanding and use it to your advantage. This small perspective shift may be the key to helping you move forward in your porn addiction recovery.

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S.Y.S.T.E.M.: Building Lasting Change

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

S.Y.S.T.E.M.: Building Lasting Change

Systems are one of my favorite things to talk about.

Whether it’s on our YouTube channel, the podcast, during calls, or here on the blog, the importance of a system is something I can never stress enough. I firmly believe that all lasting change begins and ends with a system.

There is a great acronym that I use when talking about systems. A system is:

Something
You
Stick
To
Emphatically (and)
Methodically

Every system is based on a primary goal: you want predictable and improved results. Developing a system, or the same actions repeated over and over again, is the most efficient route to those predictable and improved results.

Many men confuse the end goal, thinking that the repeated actions will provide the same results over and over again. But the key phrase here is predictable and improved. It outlines something you’re working towards that you’ve never experienced. Sure, you have an idea of where you will end up but you don’t know what exactly that looks like.

A system lays out the most efficient path for you to take on the way to a result. While you may know what that result should be, chances are you might end up with something better. And if you continue adhering to that system, those results will continue to improve over time.

When you find something you stick to emphatically and methodically, the results will be unimaginable. You’re going to unlock new possibilities, opportunities, and experiences. You’ll find that you’re capable of more than you ever thought possible.

However, when you first arrive at the Porn Reboot Program, sticking to a system may feel impossible. You’ve spent years doing what you want to do when you want to do it. Developing the discipline necessary to stick to something emphatically and methodically takes practice and time.

You’ll probably find that implementing the entirety of the porn addiction recovery program – The Porn Reboot system is too big a challenge at the beginning. Instead, I recommend starting with one non-negotiable. Pick one part of the system that you will adhere to without fail. Maybe it’s reading in the morning, writing in the evening, or going to the gym.

Decide which aspect you can best stick to and do it every day for two weeks. Make sure it’s non-negotiable, and that no one can talk you out of it. This means your wife or girlfriend, your friends, your kids, or your job. You must ensure that it doesn’t impede your time in these areas; you cannot neglect these things for the sake of your non-negotiable. It must be something you add to your existing responsibilities, not something that takes away from them.

Once you pick that first something you stick to emphatically and methodically, choose another thing. As you stick with that thing, find another thing. You’ll find that implementing more aspects of the system becomes easier over time. You develop the necessary discipline without realizing it, and the results you receive make you more willing to further implement that system.

The Porn Addiction Counseling Reboot system is outlined specifically to help you not only overcome your behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation but to help you rebuild your entire life. We want you to grow in all areas of your life, not just end your porn addiction. The system we offer outlines a clear path to progress as long as you’re willing to stick to it.

You’ll never stick perfectly to a system, but as long as you try you’ll find that your results are predictable and improved every time. After you recognize the benefits of a system, brother, you’re never going to search for another path to progress again!

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Impatience is Not a Virtue: Embracing Patience in Recovery

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

Impatience is Not a Virtue: Embracing Patience in Recovery

Two of my biggest problems early in my porn addiction recovery were my lack of intolerance and my impatience.

I’ve noticed the same problems in many of the clients I work with, especially when they begin their reboot. It’s not a good thing when you want everything right now and when you need it to go your way.

Oftentimes this extends to wanting people to behave the same way you do. This creates a lot of frustration because people will never act exactly how you want them to. People are usually predictable to a certain extent, but you can never fully know what someone is going to do.

Intolerance and impatience are two of the most detrimental roadblocks to a successful reboot. I know this from experience because my impatience caused me to lose at least a few big opportunities in the past. I had to learn to let things play out the way they’re supposed to instead of the way that I believe they should.

Life doesn’t operate on your timeline; it operates on a timeline independent of your thoughts and feelings about it. Fighting against life only leads to frustration and disappointment. You must learn to detach yourself from expectations of all kinds.

Learning patience is a necessary skill in this type of porn addiction counseling. You’ll find that you don’t get everything you want the moment that you want it. This applies to work, to relationships, to developing skills, to success in your hobbies, and more.

You can’t go out and expect things to change the moment you decide to do something. It takes time for change to take place. This means you likely won’t overcome your out-of-control behavior right away, which I make sure to emphasize in the Porn Reboot program.

It also means that the first woman you date during your reboot likely isn’t “the one” you’ve been waiting for. It means that you won’t bench press three places during your first few weeks in the gym. It means that you’re probably not going to be the star player in your rec league when you start playing.

But if you learn to be patient and stick with things, you’ll find that the results become more incredible as time passes. The more patience you have with the process, the more you’ll grow. If you develop the ability to carry out consistent actions you’ll be shocked at the things that will happen.

The old adage is right: patience is truly a virtue. It’s not easy to be patient at first but learning the skill will make a massive difference in your life. This is true for anything you set your mind to, from your reboot to your relationships to your career to your gym routine. No matter what you do in life, learning to be patient with the process will make all the difference.

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Porn Reboot Needs vs. Wants: Unveiling Key Priorities

Porn Addiction Counseling / By J.K Emezi

Porn Reboot Needs vs. Wants: Unveiling Key Priorities

Today I want to discuss needs versus wants as they relate to different areas of your reboot capital.

For those who don’t remember, reboot capital refers to the different areas of life in which you need to build up capital to help you end your out-of-control behavior. This includes your physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual capital.

I had a conversation with my girlfriend yesterday that made me want to write about this. We’re pretty frugal people for the most part. Each of us picked up these thoughts and behaviors from our parents who are also frugal. It’s a tough mindset to break most of the time.

For example, I’ll go to the store for something like body lotion and see a few options. As I look at both the name-brand body lotion and the generic version, I have a decision to make. If I’m not thinking consciously, I default to my frugal mind and opt for the generic version because it’s cheaper.

I did the same thing for years with my car as well. I’ve owned a 2005 Toyota Camry for many years. It has almost 300,000 miles on it. It’s been with me through both my worst times and my best times. It has been a reliable vehicle that I haven’t wanted to get rid of since it has run for so long. However, even though it was time for an upgrade, I still hesitated to spend the money.

Lots of men come to our program with similar frugal mindsets. Oftentimes they’re a result of driving themselves into financial ruin because of their behavior with porn, sex, and masturbation. Other times it’s because they spent lavishly trying to compensate for the crippling guilt and shame they felt.

Living within your means is an important skill to acquire. It’s a necessary part of achieving and maintaining financial stability. It’s never a good idea to rely on consumer debt to fund your lifestyle. Taking out loans or purchasing things on credit is a fast track to possible ruin if you find yourself in an emergency.

There’s a line between these two extremes of extravagance and frugality. Neither is useful when it comes to rebooting. You don’t want to spend above your means and continue unhealthy financial habits. At the same time, you don’t want to become so cheap that you avoid spending time with friends or treating your family to enjoyable experiences.

Part of the Porn Addiction Counseling – The Reboot process is developing a healthy relationship with your finances. Freedom from your out-of-control behavior makes you a more engaged and hardworking employee or business owner. You’ll soon find yourself able to escape any troublesome financial situations you found yourself in when you first arrived.

After you get yourself out of any possible debt and back on track financially, the question of needs versus wants becomes very apparent. If you’re anything like me, you’ll likely carry the same fearful and frugal mindset moving forward. It’s not an easy filter to break down and separate from.

Another part of the Porn Reboot process is learning to enjoy life. You spent so much time hiding from the world, trapped in a deepening spiral of compulsive sexual behavior. Now that you’re free from it, you need to fully engage with the world. This involves some level of spending, whether it’s on some new clothes, a trip for your family, or even some hobbies that you enjoy.

Spending money is simply a part of living a fulfilling life. Money is not something to be loathed or feared, whatever you may have learned when you were young or adopted as you grew older. It’s a useful tool that will help you build a life worth living. There are times when it’s okay to spend a bit outside your means with the understanding that it’s not an every day or all the time thing.

So long as your needs are taken care of, you’re allowed to fulfill your wants, too. A life filled with only your needs isn’t as enjoyable as it could be. Once you’re in a position where you can afford to splurge now and then, learn to treat yourself, your family, your friends, and even the world around you. You’ll find life to be a much more enjoyable experience when you do.

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